Tag: Happiness

NEVER STOP DOING THIS! ✋️

One of the saddest things that seems to happen as we age is that we lose an appreciation for the magic and beauty of life. It is no surprise. When we are young, most of the things we are exposed to offer an encouraging motif. Think of children’s programing. Most of it is a blend of encouragement of teaching and encouraging. I recall shows like Sesame Street and Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood when I was young. I learned a lot, but there were also positive messages about myself, others and the world around me.

What happens as we get older? What we are exposed to takes a decidedly negative shift. News, crime shows, content on the internet and even that sent to our phones. Is the answer to stop using technology? Limiting our use of it may help somewhat, but that will not save us from interacting with other people. What are these other people exposed to? That’s right. The same negative influences we just mentioned. If you even attempt to be a light in this dark world, you will often be looked at as strange, weird or delusional. People will tell you things such as “You are looking at the world through rose-colored glasses.” or my favorite, “You just have your head in the sand. Can’t you see how bad the world is?”

What can we do to remedy this malady? Start doing something we may have stopped doing in childhood. That is looking for the beauty and magic that is all around us! It may not get the press and attention, but it is there. On social media, try subscribing to positive news stories and motivational pages. On your cell phone, download apps that send you motivational quotes everyday. These things really do exist! As for the sunshine-challenged people we share the planet with? Know most of them have just lost their ability to see the magic all around them. When they give you a crazy look or attack you, pity them. There life is one stuck in the darkness. In addition, add people who have the opposite mindset. Spend as much time around them as possible!

When you are looking to improve your life, it is always easer to add the positive than to eliminate the negative. You might want to read that line again. If you are trying to eat healthier, it would be easier to add a healthy meal than to starve yourself of meals that are not so healthy. The more you fill up on healthy food, the less room you will have for junk food. The same is true with everything in life. The more time you spend reading or listening to something inspiring is that much less time you could find yourself exposed to negativity. Adding smiles? Less time frowning. One minute of laughter? 60 seconds less of anger!

In regards to today’s post, spend more time actively looking for beautiful things in life. The more time you spend doing so, the less time you will spend noticing and dwelling on the negative. That doesn’t mean you are ‘burying your head in the sand’ and pretending they don’t exist. No, you are simply choosing not to dwell on them. As an example, above is my coffee as it was served to me at the pick up window at Starbucks. Not sure which employee took the time to do this, but it added a little brightness to my day. As I was in that sunny mood, I noticed the dandelion growing through a crack in the pavement right next to a dumpster. Proof that there is always a little light in the darkness. When we are children, we don’t have to look for the magic. It seems to show up at every turn. As adults, we need to train ourselves to get back to that. This may mean a little concentrated effort searching for the beauty in life. Done enough, it will start to show up in your life everywhere.

Another great idea is to keep images around you that remind you of the beauty you have and are currently experiencing in your own life. Above is a sample of mine. Great times with the beautiful love of my life, Margie. My mom celebrating Octoberfest. There is fun times watching a pig race at the Wisconsin State Fair and a very beautiful and loving sentiment that Margie wrote in the sand while we were enjoying time away in Jamaica. This not only reminds me of the beauty and magic in my life, it adds what could be the most powerful thing to create an amazing life. That one thing is gratitude. How could I not be grateful for all of these things? Being grateful and looking for all the beauty that is around us will positively transform our lives. Next post we will learn how to take all of this information and not only help others transform their lives, but create an almost automatic way to fill our lives with these things! Please come back tomorrow to learn all of that!

NO IT DOESN’T SUCK! 🍭

The other day, I had one of those days. You know the ones. A day where everything that could go wrong, does go wrong. In fact, even some things that I did not know could go wrong, went wrong! I worked for hours on a press release only to discover it was the wrong format and would not work. I wrote a really nice blog and published it only to discover I forgot to save the second half before I pushed “publish”. This means it was deleted and now I had a half-written blog out there. At the end of this day, I was finally home relaxing and about to eat dinner on the porch with Margie. I had a can of sparkling green tea. I pulled the tab and can you guess what happened? Nothing! The tab came off and the can was still closed. I stared in disbelief at the can that had added its own bit of betrayal to my already trying day. Did I scream or shout? Did I get disgusted and start to complain about one more thing going wrong? No. I laughed hard and long.

It is not that I am delusional or like a day filled with personal inconveniences. I just knew that getting upset about being betrayed by a can of green tea would only add stress to my life. It would not even help me open the can. Which I did with the end of my fork so I would not add cutting my hand to the challenges of the day. Did my day suck? I guess you could say so. Events turned out the opposite of the way I was hoping it would.

Whenever I have a day that goes south of expectations, I am reminded of something the great Les Brown said. He said, “Never say you are having a terrible day. Say you are having a character building day.” To some of you this may sound like a positive thinking, splitting hairs way of looking at things. To some extent, it is. That is life though. Your language goes a long way to determining your attitude. The only thing we have complete control over is ourselves and our way of looking at the world. Getting upset over situations in which we have no control makes as much sense as trying to keep the sun from setting. (An event I may have tried when I was younger) If you are finding things in your life that seem to suck, remember you have complete control over how you look at your life and the things in it. With a change in your attitude, and an increase in your gratitude, life can feel a whole lot better. Even if your can of green tea doesn’t open on the first try.

2 SITUATIONS TO AN AMAZING LIFE 👏

As so often happens, as I was writing my last post, a revelation occurred to me. There are 2 words that can really help us in living an amazing life. We are going to share those with you today, and hopefully you can find ways to apply them in your own life. Even better, you can share how you do so with all of us on this site. The more ideas we have, and the more we work together, the more likely we all are to live an amazing life.

The first word is tradition. In life, I find it is helpful to have traditions. We are not talking about traditions that you feel obligated to do. Quite the opposite. These are ones that bring you joy, inner peace or any other wonderful feeling. I mentioned that I had my yearly vacation at the Wisconsin State Fair. Without even knowing it, I applied these two words to make it one of the best years I have spent there. Which is saying a lot.

In terms of traditions, there are plenty we have. One of which can be found in the first photo. It is food from one of the stands, Krautland. We enjoy the family that owns it and the amazing hospitality they provide. The second, a more recent addition, is a picture of the dog diving. These dogs compete by catching toys the owners toss into a 40 foot pool. Both the crowd and the dogs have an amazing time. When we take part in either of these events, we are not only creating new memories, but reflecting on the great memories of the past. It always gives us something to look forward to.

The second word we touched on last post. That word is new. I think finding something fun and new is the key to keeping life fresh and exciting. We want to avoid falling in the trap of feeling like we are in a rut. Nothing can deflate the spirit more than feeling like there is nothing to be nervous or excited about. Again, I will use my recent vacation as an example of how to incorporate this. We discussed how we used tradition in the paragraph above, here is how we used newness. People often ask how I do not get bored going to the fair every year. Simple, I enjoy the traditions, and incorporate new things. This year, we did new foods such as a sweet potato latte, and the brat-e-o. We also went to different parts of the park such as the new Valentine coffee shop. I discovered a new local band I like. These are only 4 of the new things we tried among many.

In our lives, it is important to blend the traditions we know will bring us joy with the excitement of the new and unknown. When it comes to both, keep and open mind and be flexible. Perhaps the new restaurant you try may not be to your liking. That is ok. Maybe the tradition you enjoy may not work out as it has in the past. That does not mean you have to give it up. All of these are just stories and memories to create and share together. Tradition and new may seem like opposites, but they can work together to create an amazing life. How about you? What traditions and methods for incorporating something new do you have?

FIND YOUR PARADISE AND GO THERE OFTEN 🏝

Today is my first day back at the day job after 2 weeks of vacation. I enjoyed every day of the Wisconsin State Fair. I made new friends. I created some new opportunities as well as learned some new things. I just realized that is a lot of ‘new’. One of the best discoveries was a new tradition that my lovely Margie and I started. The State Fair opened daily at 10am. As someone who usually gets up at 4am for work, I was usually up with plenty of time to get myself ready and enjoy a leisurely cup of coffee. Margie has started a new workout schedule with her daughter. Can I mention how proud I am of her? This meant she was usually up early as well. We sat on our porch and drank a cup of coffee together. Shared our plans for the day and thoughts that were on our mind. Reflecting on that, it was one of the best parts of my vacation!

As I return to work, I realize that paradise may not be available to me. Being that I leave for work around 420am, I do not see Margie, or myself waking up at 3 to sit on the porch and enjoy a cup of coffee. Another great paradise that occurred happened when I was attending the fair with my mother. It was early and the crowd was still light. The temperature was around 83 degrees. After enjoying a breakfast burrito and pancakes, we got a hot cup of coffee (perfect on a hot summer morning) and a doughnut. New to the fair this year was a shared stand with a local bakery, and my favorite local coffee, Valentine. We took it to the ‘Central Mall’ area of the fair and got a table in the sun. As we got our dose of vitamin D, the band Banana Wind, which neither of us had heard of, began to play. They filled the air with songs of the topics. The sun was shining, the music was tropical, I had my favorite local coffee and a sample of 3 different local doughnuts. In the middle of January, when the temperature falls south of the zero mark, this will not be an option. Actually, it never was an option again, as that band only played that morning.

This post may begin to sound a bit depressing. “Great Neil. You found some amazing experiences and now you can’t do them anymore.” This is true to some extent. This is where asking yourself the question, “How can I use this?” comes into play. There are two words that come to mind – adjust and reflect. I will not be able to sit on the porch every morning and sip coffee with my love. However, I do know that on my days off, that will be something to look forward to! We can also do so when I get home from work. What a better way to unwind? As for the second episode, reflecting on what a great time my mother and I had that day in the sun, will be good to ponder when winter days get me down. It will also be fun to share that memory and reflect together! As I always say, just because you can’t be there physically, doesn’t mean you can’t be there mentally.

How about your life? What are the moments of paradise you have? Is there a way to visit them often? Maybe create a photo album of that vacation to the tropics? You can look through it and take yourself back whenever you need a little escape. How about special times with those you love and care about? It is a must to schedule those into your routine, and do so often. I would love to hear about your paradise and how you go there in your life.

PAIR YOUR FAVORITES!

Above is a picture of 2 of my favorite items at the Wisconsin State Fair. A delicious cream puff and Valentine coffee. Much like going to the Fair (my favorite place) with Margie (my favorite person) I try to combine favorites. It is like multiplying the joy!

How about you? Are there things you enjoy that you can pair and make them even more fun?

IF IT FEELS GOOD, DO IT!🙃

This blog post title comes with a caveat. If what feels good to you causes harm to yourself or others, than by all means, do NOT do it. I will not be responsible for you trying some ridiculous Tik Tok challenge. What I can tell you, is that if you find something in your life that feeds your soul, do it and do it often. In life, we are all to often asked, or required, to do things that drain our spirit and our soul. That could be a job that we do not relish. It could be coworkers that are less than inspiring.

This is a picture of my beautiful love, Margie, and I at the Wisconsin State Fair. Almost 20 years ago, I decided that was one of my favorite places to be. Since being with Margie, it has turned into two of my favorite places to be. The Wisconsin State Fair and with her. I enjoy the food, the garden and art tours throughout the grounds, dancing in the sand at the reggae bar and all of the kitchen gadgets that Margie and I purchase that we do not need. It runs 11 days in early August. On a fine day in 1996, I decided if I liked it so much, why don’t I attend it all 11 days? I have done so every year since. I go with different people and always have a great time. Some of my friends like the bands. Some of them like the food. Some like shopping and I hope they all like spending a day with yours truly.

A few years ago I even purchased a personalized brick to be placed at the fair. It not only went to support the event, but celebrated my favorite person to attend with. It has become an added bonus to look at when we are there. Creating memories with friends, family and of course Margie, is something I look forward to all year long. By the time you read this, we will have attended the first day with my mother. We have plans with good friends Faith, CJ, Nicci, Chris, Heidi and others. Each one will be a sharing of happiness, friendship and love for life.

If there is something in your life that brings joy to your spirit and soul, celebrate it as often as you can. Life will certainly throw challenges your way. It is always good to have something ready to lift your spirit. Why not? We all deserve that inner joy and sense of well-being. I look forward to hearing what brings joy to that beautiful heart of yours.

PEACE CAN BE FOUND AT THE END OF YOUR WRIST 🧘‍♀️

There are simple things that we can use to have a transformative effect on our lives. In my first two books, I mention the power of talismans. When most people hear that word, they think of an inscribed ring or stone that has magical powers. In fact, that is how the definition reads online. We are not talking about anything occult, but the way in can affect your life will seem like magic. As with everything I share, I can relate to you from personal experience. I am going to show you how simple it can be to cultivate inner peace by looking at the end of your wrist.

Above is a picture of a bracelet I purchased from an amazing young lady who turned her own personal struggles into a way to help and serve others. Her name is Pamela and she is the owner of At Peace Designs. A link to her amazing website will be found at the end of this post. I met Pamela at a local event called ‘West Allis A La Carte’ where I live. I noticed her stand and was drawn to it for the simple, yet powerful, message. The engaging owner came up and shared with Margie and I her story and what took her on the path to create the business. This included a great story about a tattoo on vacation, but I will let her share that one with you personally.

What makes Pamela’s products so great is that they provide us a simple reminder to put an accent on maintaining our inner peace. For me, all I have to do is look at the end of my wrist. She also has coffee mugs, yoga mats, stickers and my personal favorite – gratitude journals! She has many other products that feature her amazing logo as well. In a world where chaos and stress are everywhere we look, what a great advantage to have a simple reminder to focus on our inner peace. I highly suggest you take a look at Pamela’s amazing website at the link below and pick up your At Peace Designs before stress and fear gain any more ground in your life. Do you know someone who could use a little more peace? They make great gifts as well.

CLICK HERE GET YOUR INNER PEACE PRODUCTS AND CHECK OUT THIS AMAZING WEBSITE

SECRET TO AN AMAZING RELATIONSHIP OF ANY KIND 🫶

I mentioned the book I am currently reading in an earlier post. Where I cannot assume you read that post, the title of the book is Happiness is a Choice you Make by John Leland. It was recommended to me by a dear lady whom I had met at a graduation party. She was someone whom I had never met, but we conversed the whole time I was there like old friends. I am hoping I have the opportunity to thank her for such a great recommendation. The book covers 6 of the ‘oldest old’. That is to say people who are above the age of 87. Which I learned, is one of the fastest growing demographics in the United States.

In the section I am currently reading, the author is talking with a couple who are in their 90s. They found each other at the nursing home where they both live. The dynamics of their relationship is so fascinating to me. One of the aspects that makes it work is a great secret that all of us could use in our own relationships. This secret works not only in romantic relationships, but friendships, business relationships or relationships of any kind. If you don’t manage this secret properly, it can lead to what poisons a great deal of relationships. If you do learn, and are able to master this, it will give your relationship an advantage others simply don’t have. Both parties will feel happier and more confident with the relationship.

That is what we do here at Secret2anamazinglife.com. We teach you secrets to have an amazing life. One of the biggest factors of the quality of life is the quality of your relationships. Learning how to improve them has a positive impact on every area of your life. What is the secret the couple in the book practice that we all could put into use in our own lives? Learning to not only give, but receive. That second part especially. Independent people often want to do everything themselves. This is not necessarily a bad trait. When you are in a relationship, it can leave the other party feeling both a little unneeded and unwanted. If someone offers to say, get you a cup of coffee, and you always reply “I can do it myself.” It will not only leave the other party feeling as though they lost an opportunity to do something for you, but done long enough, they may stop offering all together.

This is a tricky balance. We often to want to feel like a burden to our partner or friend, but we certainly want to give them an opportunity to feel as though they did something for us. Think if the roles were reversed. How would you feel if you were able to do something that would either help, or bring joy, to your partner or friend? You would feel good I would imagine. Why would you deny that good feeling to someone else? Have you ever looked at it this way? It may seem that one party is taking and one is giving in this equation. The truth is, they are both giving. One, the act of service. The other, the opportunity to provide that service. If you follow this up with appreciation, you actually get to give twice by receiving. How crazy is that? The other party feels good that they were able to do something for you, and they feel good that you let them know you appreciate what they did.

The picture above is me and my silly lady. We practice this secret daily. It is not always easy as we both love to do things for each other. We must remember that we like the other party to feel needed and appreciated. In fact, we love appreciating each other. One of the worst things you can do in a relationship is ‘keep score’. The thought that “Hey! I do a lot more for them than they do for me!” is poison to a relationship. You are actually providing them an opportunity to appreciate you and they are providing an opportunity to feel that you matter and serve a purpose in the relationship. Appreciation for your partner and all that they do is key in this equation. It is true that you never want to feel useless, or that you don’t serve a purpose in a relationship. You also never want to feel taken for granted.

Let your partner know that you appreciate everything they do for you. Give them an opportunity to do things for you, even if you can do it for yourself. This is not only a secret to an amazing relationship, but to an amazing life.

THE MEANING OF YOUR LIFE🤔

“Life has no meaning, life is an opportunity to create a meaning.” That is powerful stuff. Have you ever asked yourself, “What is it all for?” I am sure at some point in our lives, we have all asked that question. The ironic part is most of the time we ask it of others. Whether that be directly, as in asking a person what the meaning of life is, or searching for meaning in books, seminars and even blog posts and YouTube videos. The truth is the meaning of life is whatever we decide to make it.

That may seem a little scary to some of us. You mean there is no right answer written down somewhere? No book that will provide us the answers? No. What the meaning of our life is depends on what we decide we want it to be. Once we make that decision, there is a wealth of information to assist us in our endeavors. The secret is to not only decide on an empowering meaning for our life, but one that we are committed to emotionally.

In my own life, I decided the meaning of my life was to help others live a more positive and rewarding life using the tools and strategies I learned and have continued to learn. I do that by not only posting this blogs, but with my books, my YouTube videos and my Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. The meaning of your life may be to bring joy and comfort to people through the creation of a special cake. It may be to pass along the healing power of creating art. It could be to be a good example to your children. It could be to correct social injustice. None of these are more noble than any other. In order to live a great life, you do not have to do great things, you just have to do everything with a great love.

LESSON FROM A NEW TEACHER 👩‍🏫👨‍🏫

Recently, Margie set up a coffee date with another couple. She has a knack for picking some good people. In the course of a very inspiring conversation, my new friend and teacher, CJ, said something I think will impact us all. What he said was not only profound, but will add to our lives. It is something we should all wake up to that will positively impact our lives.

We were discussing perspective and how it drives performance. He relayed something he had heard that he uses to help keep his life in proper perspective. Enough with the build up. What was it that CJ said that I think will be so impactful for us all? It was this simple question. “If you would only wake up with only what you were grateful for the night before, how much would you wake up with?” When I heard this, it struck me. How about you? When you think about all of the blessings we have that we do not take the time to stop and be grateful for, how many do they number? I don’t know about you, but they are near countless for me.

Let us look at a few quick examples to help drive the point home. There is, of course, the love of my life, Margie. There are times when we are not seeing eye to eye. We do our best to never go to bed that way, but sometimes it happens. When you and your special someone go to sleep, whether you are getting along or not, do you pause and take a moment to be grateful for them? We are talking about focused gratitude. What if you were to wake up and they were gone forever? How about throughout the course of a day? Margie gives me plenty of reasons to be grateful. Whether that is sending me silly messages about rockets while I am busy at work, or having a delicious home-cooked meal to come home to, there are always reasons to be grateful for. Because they happen so often, I have to be careful not to take them for granted.

The person you love is an easy example. There are others. What about where you live? It could not be in the neighborhood you desire. Your house could need lots of work, or maybe your rent or mortgage eats up most of your paycheck. It is easy to complain about those things, but what if you woke up homeless tomorrow? How about work? That’s a good one. Work is easy to complain about it. I am as guilty as anyone when it comes to that. Waking up early, time away from family, crazy bosses and coworkers. There are a million things to complain about. What if they told you tomorrow you were out of a job? Suddenly, all of those things you were complaining about you would be grateful to have in your life.

Ask yourself this question, “If you were to wake up with only the things you were grateful for the night before, what would you wake up with?” I think that is a powerful question that can not only change our perspective, but help us live a life filled with more gratitude and a lot less lack. I know that I am going to put this question to use in my life. How about you? Once again, shout out to CJ and Faith for a great time over coffee.