Tag: Happiness

NOT ORDINARY, A SECRET! 🙊

This is one of the great secrets to living an amazing life. With such focus on ‘finding happiness’, many people forget to look in one of the most obvious places. That hiding place is their own life. You might be thinking that cannot be true of your own life. You would be wrong. Even if your life is full of challenges right now, which would include 90% of us, you still can find a great deal of happiness you are missing. It can be found in things that we think are ordinary. The words that follow may sound cliche, but I urge you to stop and ponder them.

When you think of all of the things getting in your way of being happy, does it frustrate you? Do you have a strong desire just to live a more fulfilling and happy life? I think we all do. What if I were to tell you that one of the major obstacles to lasting happiness in your life is…well…you! More specifically, your mind and its tendency to be a little lazy. We are exposed to so many different bits of information that our mind (more to the point, our reticular activating system) has to filter out what is important and what is not. This can be very helpful when looking for possible danger and challenges. It can be a detriment when trying to fill our hearts with happiness.

Right now, we could be focused on a million different things. How the air feels on our skin. How different articles of clothing feel resting on our skin. How the light is casting shadows in the room. How deep we are breathing. Most of these we just take for granted. If we tried to notice everything we would go insane in a relatively short period of time. Normally, our brains are on the lookout for things that need improvement at the moment. We are just wired that way. What if, you began to balance that by adding a question you periodically ask yourself. One question that could change your life entirely. One question that could help balance the scales and begin to bring more joy and inner peace into your life.

This magical question is simply, “What can I enjoy in this situation?” There are many versions of this. You could also ask, “What is beautiful in my life right now?” Look at the cat in the picture above. It appears to be enjoying the wind, sun or maybe even the smell of tuna in the air. It has stopped to smell the roses, or again, maybe the tuna. We can walk past so many ‘rose bushes’ in our life and never stop to appreciate them. I endeavor to do this on my way to work every morning. I look to notice businesses I may have missed. I notice the plants planted along the streets. I think about the wonderful night I had with my lady, or look forward to what we are going to do after I get off of work. Not only does this change my focus, but it starts my mind in a positive state on the way to work.

One great thing about doing this is that it becomes second nature after a while. When you get into the habit of asking yourself what is beautiful or joyous in your life often enough, your brain will start to do it on its own. How long this takes will depend on your own situation. It may help to start by designating a time to ask yourself this every day. Just like my morning commute. Yours could be asking what went beautiful in your day before you fall asleep. This will not only help you get better rest, but will set your day ahead up for success. Even if you had challenges that day, those are beautiful. They can often help you appreciate the challenge-free life you might take for granted.

LIFE IS A LOT EASIER IF YOU ARE RICH! 🤑

This should be a no-brainer for most people. Being rich seems like it would add a little joy to life. Not having to get up to go to work. Being able to do what you want, when you want. Not worrying about things like house and car repairs. When you are feeling ill being able to go to the hospital without first weighing the cost that you will incur by doing so. How about dressing nicer or eating at fancy restaurants? Yes, life is a lot better when you are rich. That is not at all what this post is about!

Many of you know that I am currently working on my fourth book. In doing so, I have asked many people their definition of a fulfilling life. Today I asked the person behind the counter at one of the local coffee shops that I frequent when I write. His name is Antonio and he is always a very pleasant fellow. His answer was at once both simple and profound. He said, “Being happy.” After a moment of contemplation, he expounded on that thought and added, “Being happy with your body, with who you are spiritually. Being rich in the important things.” It started me thinking on how we define true wealth.

The thing about the wealth we were talking about is that it is both conditional, and to a large extent, beyond our control. Stock markets crash. Business fail. Droughts and famine happen. Here is another thing about material wealth, it really is a bit down on the list if you stop and think about it. If you work on your wealth to the detriment of your own health, is it worth it? You work day and night and end up with a heart attack. How much is the money worth now? What if you spend all your time chasing material success and do not spend any time investing in your relationships? How could would it feel to be rich and alone? The picture above is a prime example. It shows me and my three book covers. It was taken in sunny Jamaica. It is great to have published 3 books and it is always great to be in the tropics, but if I had nobody to share it with, what fun would that be? The best part of that is the lady who took the picture, my fiancée Margie.

We hear of so many wealthy celebrities who turn to drugs or tragically commit suicide. Many of us ask, “How could they want to kill themselves? They had everything.” This is proof that material wealth does not, by itself, make a fulfilling life. Taking care of our mental health, and the mental health of those we love, is so important. Investing in our physical, mental and spiritual health is where the real wealth comes in. Spending the time to create a deep and loving relationship that will give us joy whether things are hitting the jackpot or hitting the fan is real wealth. Become rich is things the world cannot take away.

There is one more area I want to mention that it pays to be rich in. That area is kindness and compassion. There can be no greater wealth than to be someone who is kind to others. The more you invest in this, the better you will make both your life and those you share it with. Someone who has a heart full of kindness and compassion is someone who is truly rich indeed. Someone who has a heart filled with revenge, greed and disrespect is poor, no matter how many dollars he has in the bank. Become rich in the things that matter. That is what will give you a fulfilling life.

SO YOU THINK YOU ARE GRATEFUL? 🙏

This is an interesting thought. So many people are talking about gratitude and its power to change life. What is ironic is that most people have an interesting definition of what gratitude really is. This was brought home when I was listening to the audiobook, The Magic by Rhonda Byrne the other morning. She said how if people asked her years ago if she was a grateful person she would have told them that she was. Her justification for that answer is that she always thanked people for a gift, or for opening the door for her. When we speak of gratitude here, or when you hear about the power of gratitude, it is far more than that.

Despite what we may have been told growing up, or even what we think currently, thanking people when they do nice things for us is not living gratefully. It is actually just really good manners. There is nothing wrong with that. If we want to discover the true power of gratitude, it has to involve more than that. True gratitude cannot be conditional. A few posts back we discussed how I was choosing to focus on what I had to be grateful for in my life despite the challenges I have currently been experiencing. In doing so, it has help me feel good and enjoy my life so much more. That is the power of gratitude.

How about you? Are you only grateful when conditions give you something to be grateful for? Here is a secret. There is always a condition to be grateful for. Gratitude, like much of life, is a decision. When you want to feel grateful, just look around. There are so many things in our life that we take for granted that we should be so grateful for. Our health for one. Going to work on a Monday morning can be tough, but doing so with a cold is even tougher. We can dread work or be thankful we do not have to deal with a cold while working. Things like sanitation, communication, entertainment choices we have, clean water, a place to live and a million other things. One of the best ways to appreciate things you take for granted is to have them taken away from you. It is rare you will hear someone who used to be homeless complaining about the color of their kitchen walls.

Even in the terrible situation of losing something, we can be grateful that it is bringing to our attention things we might have taken for granted. Even that is something to be grateful for. Here is another secret to an amazing life. Feeling grateful feels amazing! The more we feel grateful, the better the quality of our life will be. Do yourself a favor and start to work on developing an attitude of gratitude today!

IT IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE 🤔

This picture reminds me of a couple of things. First is the fact that for the first time in 4 years, Margie and I will not be going on a nice tropical vacation. Saving for a wedding will do that. Second, and most important for our time together today, is the power behind focus. These people are on the same bus, yet they are focused on two very different scenes. That focus will go a long way to determining the quality of their journey. The same is true in our life. That is why the power of gratitude, and developing an attitude of gratitude is so important.

In my own life, this could not be more true right now. My 2025 has started with these events. My grandmother on my father’s side passed away. Then, I dislocated my shoulder. Shortly there after I got an ear infection. Recently, my younger cousin on my mother’s side passed away. Nobody even knew she was sick. Yesterday, I found out my aunt on my father’s side passed away. All that and it is only February. Not quite the start to the year I would have chosen, but here we are. I could focus on all of this and start to predict what a miserable year I was having. If we looked at the facts, I could be excused for thinking and saying so.

While all of those above facts are true, here is some other things that are true as well. With the passing of my one cousin, I have reconnected with another cousin. I was able to purchase a new car which has made not going on vacation a little more tolerable. My health has rebounded and with therapy I am getting better every day. My beautiful lady and I continue to make progress planning our wedding for next year. Finally, there are words typed out to start the fourth book I have been working on for years. With any luck, it will even be published later this year. These facts are also true and are what I am deciding to focus on.

This is not me being ignorant to the fact that there is a good amount of challenging circumstances that have occurred in my life so far this year. It is just that I am choosing to focus on the ones that reflect all the blessings and good fortune I am grateful enough to have. I am choosing to be like our friend in the bus looking out the window. Yes, it is a choice. What wrong is always available. What right is also available to focus on as well.

Some may view that as ‘sticking your head in the sand’ or ‘looking at the world through rose-colored glasses’. As if it were somehow cheating hardship. The opposite is the truth. It takes more work to look for and focus on the positive. Especially when there can be so much negativity and chaos occurring around you. Being able to say confidently, “Despite all I may be going through, I sure have a lot to be grateful for.” takes a lot of courage and resilience.

Remember the axiom, “Where focus goes, energy flows.” What we focus on determines how we feel. How we feel determines the quality of our lives.

RANDOM ACTS OF KINDNESS DAY 😇

Today is random acts of kindness day. It is our chance to make the world a brighter place for each and everyone! Don’t think that one act of kindness could make a difference? There are over 8 billion people in the world! Imagine if just 1% of them did a random act of kindness. That would be 80 million people doing a random act of kindness. Let us say that act only affects 1 person. That brings us to a total of 160 million people being positively affected! Consider the ripple effect and you can’t begin to imagine how big this could get. All that from one simple act of kindness.

It can be hard to decide what kind of act of kindness to do. Above are some great ideas! These are certainly not the only things you can do. They are just to get you thinking. One thing we can notice is how many of them will positively affect far more than just one other person. Consider one of my favorites, picking up litter. It may not give you that initial boost of dopamine that a personal interaction could, but imagine how much you could improve the world! Using our numbers above, say the 1% just picked up 3 pieces of litter. That would get rid of 240 million pieces of trash! Think of that much garbage removed from the streets and sidewalks of the world. Can you imagine if each person just did a small grocery bag full?

Let us take a quick look at some of the others. Donate to a food pantry. That is a good one! According to the all wise Google, the average American throws away between 219 and 400 pounds of food each year! That is crazy. That amount is equivalent to 30-40% of the total food supply in the country. Imagine if that food went to people who were struggling. My mother donates to her church’s food pantry. I often think of the good that does. Not only does it allow for the feeding of people who are down on their luck, often through no fault of their own, but their children as well. It also shows those individuals that someone they don’t even know cares. That will give them faith in themselves and humanity. What you donate to a food pantry could help several families, not to mention children. Again, just using the 1% figure, can you imagine the impact that could have?

All these ideas above are so good that I am going to try several of them! Start the math on that. If the 1% did 2 or even 3 random acts of kindness! Buy someone’s coffee. How great would you feel if a stranger just paid for your coffee? hand a bird feeder? Helping out our feathered friends. Put a book in a little free library? Another great one is giving a good review. How many business have the headache of dissatisfied customers telling everyone about an issue they may have had? As a business owner myself, I can tell you how amazing good reviews feel and help! (In case you want to jump on that go to http://www.amazon.com/author/neilpanosian) I could go on and on about each one of these.

How about you? What is your favorite random act of kindness to do? What would you like to see others do? Let us spread this message and get as many people involved as we can!

WHEN HAPPINESS COMES 😊

So much is made of gratitude in today’s world, and on this blog quite honestly. The funny thing is, with the power of gratitude talked about on whatever media you happened to be enjoying, less people than ever seem to be practicing it. Perhaps it is too simple of an idea to grab the attention of a world that has new technology appearing daily. It could be the amount of advertising that we see encouraging us to seek, buy and strive for more. While there is nothing wrong with wanting better for yourself, focusing solely on that will leave you feeling poor and in a state of lack. When we focus on what we don’t have, that is what we will feel. When you think about it, isn’t life how we feel? If we are happy, life is good. If we are unhappy, life seems gloomy and hopeless.

After reading and contemplating the words above, one question pops into our minds. “How can we be happy more often and therefore making our life better?”. The answer should be obvious. Foster an attitude of gratitude. There is always something to be grateful for. Even if our life is seemingly becoming a dumpster fire, we can be grateful for troubles we do not have. That is the power of the first quote. Although every life has its share of challenges and troubles, we can be grateful for those troubles we do not have. How can we do this? The answer was brought to my attention is the most unlikely of places.

I was trying to get the motivation to go to the gym after a long 10 hour work day. I saw a video from the late Greg Plitt. He was great at motivating others into a life of health and fitness. It was titled “Burnout”. Thinking this was perfect, I hit ‘play’. What I did not expect was the powerful message and change in perception that followed. He said if you are ever feeling like you are burnt out and can’t take any more, just go to your local hospital. Walk through the cancer ward and look at a 4-year old who has cancer and may not see 5. Talk to a soldier who just came back from war and may be missing a leg. Look them in the eye and tell them you are feeling burnt out and can’t go on. Wow! Even thinking about that made me realize how lucky I have it.

This is not to advocate ignoring self-care, or pushing beyond your limits. It is to show the power of gratitude can allow us to continue even when we feel like we have no more left in the tank. Yes, I did include the same quote twice in a row. No, that wasn’t a mistake. It is such a good message, I thought we should all reflect on it again. When I say that we all should use the power of gratitude more often, I am including myself. It is all too easy to get caught up focusing on what is wrong in our life instead of what is right. At any given time, they are both available. Spend as little as 5 minutes a day focusing on everything you have to be grateful for in your life and I promise you a week from now your life will be dramatically improved and you will be so much happier.

To close out, please share one thing that you are grateful for in your life. Let us all celebrate together.

A WORLD OF DARKNESS😈

Here is something I have been wanting to write for a while. With my crazy life, the opportunity has not presented itself. The world is a crazy place right now. In a minute everything can be turned upside down. Many people are hurting and afraid. That is why what we do here is so important. Secret2anamazinglife.com is not only an online community, but a place to come that is safe and inspiring. My life purpose is to leave the world a better place than I found it. Right now, that is looking a little challenging. What I can do is exactly what the quote above tells us to do.

In my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People, I share the story of what inspired me to begin writing and working on improving myself. I cannot assume that you have read that book. I must say it is a quick and good read. Even has a nice smiley face on the cover. You can pop over to Amazon and order yourself a copy right after you finish reading this. To catch you up to speed, I am going to give you the super abridged version of my story.

After a very bad day that included losing a job, bad home relations and a host of other things, I decided to go for a walk to clear my head. I checked the mail on the way out the door. In there I found my electric bill as well as envelopes asking for charity donations. I did donate them to the recycle bin. One caught my attention however. On it was the quote above, “Better to light a single candle than curse the darkness.” That single quote has taken me on a journey over two decades in the making. It has allowed me to write and publish 3, going on 4, books. I have done my best to light as many candles and inspire as many people as I can.

It sure can feel good to vent and attack the evil we see in the world. It is good to speak up if you see wrong being done. What is even more powerful is to ‘light that candle’. If you see a group of people being persecuted, make sure you go out of the way to make people of that group feel safe and welcome. Worried about what is happening with our planet and the climate? See what actions you can take to help heal our planet. Remember that cursing the darkness does not make the room any brighter, but lighting even one candle does.

As much as we would like to, we cannot change all the ills the world faces. What we can do is make a big difference in the life of one person at a time. Think if you just inspired, encouraged or reassured one person a day. That would be 365 people in a year. Considering what an inspired, empowered or reassured person can then go on to do, the ripple effect could affect a great many more. If we just yell and complain about how terrible things are, we do not help anyone, least of all ourselves. Light candles my friend. When the world is dark, you must be the light.

DON’T FORGET TO BE SILLY 😋

We have been doing a great job at looking at what many of the readers of this blog find to be a fulfilling life. We will get back to that and look at some more amazing answers very soon. As the week starts and the pressures begin, I wanted to look at something that may get overlooked or pushed to the back burner. That is what the quote above says. Make sure you do something silly and fun that serves no other purpose than make you happy.

A lot of what gets in the way of this is the guilt people feel when it comes to spending any time in non-productive activities. As important as self-discipline is, it is equally as important to balance that with some fun and relaxation. One of the great ways to do this is to include people in your life who embody this trait. In my own life, I have been blessed with a lovely lady who is the poster child for silly. She is always a great reminder to spend some time on silly fun. It lowers blood pressure, increases feel good hormones in the body and reduces stress.

For those who still feel a little guilty, remember that all of this increases creativity. When you are constantly working hard, you can wind up burnt out. It is so important to let off a little steam and do something that puts a smile on your face. It could be singing and dancing to your favorite song. It could be walking in nature and taking time to look at the birds, trees and listen to the wind. It could be listening to some jokes on your phone or computer. Whatever works for you. Just remember to include moments of this throughout your day.

FULFILLMENT ACCORDING TO EDUARDO 🇮🇹

Today’s post will feature a deep dive into an answer to a question I posed to several friends and associates. The question was, “What, in your opinion, makes for a truly fulfilling life?” We will take a deeper dive into the answer featured in today’s post. This includes looking at how we can implement their ideas for fulfillment into our own life. This will allow all of us to wake up with a greater sense of inner peace and joy. If these answers inspire you, and you would like to share your own feeling on what makes life fulfilling, feel free to do so in the comments below. You could be featured in a future post or in my next book! Now let us take a look at today’s answer!

Today’s answer comes from a follower of this very blog. Eduardo in the great country of Italy. Eduardo does me the great honor of providing feedback on several of my blogs. In addition, he has a passion for hiking and exploring. He shares videos, and amazing photos, of his adventures at different locations. He is married to a Filipina, the love of his life. He shares what makes their marriage, and love, so successful. He also shares some amazing culinary creations. Viewing Eduardo’s social media is like experiencing a cultural adventure! All this being said, let us take a look at what he thinks makes life fulfilling. I will tell you it is as simple as it is profound.

it’s contributing: there is no way around it.

We touched on this last post with Jason’s answer. Eduardo broadens the category for us a little more. It is about adding to the world. What are we contributing? It reminds me of people who say they just want to win the lottery and sit on the beach. I must confess, on certain days I am one of those people. The truth is, we could only be happy doing this for so long. If we were of no use to anyone, or anything, how long would we be happy? We must feel that our life has a purpose. To have a purpose, we must find ways to contribute. As Eduardo so correctly reminds us, “There is no way around it.”

This is not to say that you should live your life solely for others. Take time for yourself when you need to recharge. What we must understand, and what Eduardo’s answer so succinctly states, is that in order to live a life that is fulfilling, it must also contribute to the greater good. This can be done in so many ways. My beautiful lady and her daughter contribute to the joy of others with the delicious baked goods they create. Last post we looked at how Jason contributes with his music, raising his daughter and loving his wife. Above we looked at the multitude of ways that Eduardo himself follows his own philosophy of contribution. It is through these actions that all of them get a feeling of contribution.

How about you? How do you contribute to the world? Have you thought about how this contribution brings a sense of fulfillment? Whether you are a parent, a teacher, a great friend or an amazing spouse, the world is full of ways in which you can contribute. I would love to hear some of yours and how they make you feel like you are living a fulfilling life in the comments below.

FULFILLMENT ACCORDING TO YOU! 👈

We have some very exciting and empowering things coming up in the next few days. My fourth book should be out this summer. Inside it, you will find the tools and strategies to live a rich and fulfilling life. In short, how to go from striving to thriving. You may be asking yourself how there can be a manual on how to live a fulfilling life when the definition of that is different for everyone. That is a very intelligent and thought-provoking question. The answer is, at once, simple yet complex. While it is true that each one of us has their own definition of ‘fulfilling’, there are some common threads that will make any life more fulfilling when put into practice.

If you have read any of my previous 3 books, you will know that each of the tools and strategies I present are not only universal, but can be customized to work for the individual and their life circumstances. To further illustrate this point, I implored the followers of this blog, as well as friends and associates, to share their definition of a fulfilling life. We are going to highlight some of their answers and take a little deeper dive into them. We will also add ways in which we can put their ideas into practice in our own life to wake up with a greater sense of fulfillment.

The book, and this question, is far from over. If reading some of these answers and they inspire you, feel free to add your definition of what makes life fulfilling in the comments below. Your answer could be featured in our next post, or maybe even in my fourth book!