Tag: Happiness

SET AN EXAMPLE 👩‍🏫👨‍🏫

One of the questions I am often asked is, “How can I stay motivated?” This is the wrong question to ask. You will never be motivated 100% of the time. Motivation comes and goes. I can surround myself with workout quotes, pictures of the body I would like to have and upbeat music, but if it is below freezing outside, I am not going to want to go to the gym. The better question to ask is “How can I stay committed and disciplined?” There are many ways to do this. One of them is considering the consequences of not being disciplined. If I stay in bed all day the boss will not be happy and I may end up without a job. Another way is to focus on what you will gain by remaining committed. If I keep going to the gym, eventually I will fit into that new bathing suit.

 

If we are honest, some days none of this works. We do not care if the boss is mad or if we get fired. Hey, if I don’t have a job I could sleep in every day! We don’t consider the fact it might be in a cardboard box if we can’t pay our bills. What about fitting into that new swimsuit? Well, we don’t have to go to the beach. Plus, these doughnuts look and taste really good. I have had those moments. Have you? What then? How do we maintain our discipline when our motivation to do so has left us long ago? Example.

I am so grateful to have an amazing women that has me wanting to be the best I can be for her. She is so beautiful and loving that I often question what I did to deserve her. Still, after working all day without sleeping, I can lack the motivation it requires to be a great life partner. What then? I think of the example I am setting. For her children who may be watching. For other men who want to know how to properly treat their lady. To women looking for an example that men do value their lady. Maybe someone caught in an abusive relationship who needs an example of a healthy one to realize that theirs must change.

The same holds true for everything I do in my life. You never know who is watching. Our lives are either warnings or examples. In the age where you can be filmed and go viral for just about anything, wouldn’t you rather it was something good? I know I would. People will rarely listen to what you say if your actions do not support it. If you truly want to inspire others, focus less on what you say and more on what you do. I am going to leave you with one of my favorite quotes that highlights the importance of actions over words.

BLOOM ANYWAY! 🌸

Here is a subject that we have talked about before on this site, but I was reminded that many of us still have not got the message. There are so many of us that are lack the bravery to share their true self with the world because they base their value on the opinions of others. That is why I liked the quote above so much. If we think of ourselves as that flower, how sad would it be if we could only bloom if someone else watered us? Many are still like this. That is why we need to both encourage ourselves, as well as be aware of all the good we bring to the world. You are a rockstar no matter how large the audience is or is not.

The only thing that saddens me more is someone who lets others determine their worth. If you asked someone directly, “Would you let anyone tell you how much you are worth?” Most of us would answer a resounding “No!” Yet, this happens all too often. Recently, I heard of a woman who even said she felt like ending her life because a man she was recently dating was mad at her. You may be thinking what some dramatic teenager has to do with your life. Here is a surprise, that woman was in her 70s. She had not learned to value herself enough that the opinions of others do not define her.

This is not to say you should not care how you effect others. If what you do hurts someone, you should recognize that and work on becoming a better version of yourself. We should be on a journey of becoming the best version of ourselves. When we are, if others do not value us, we know that our life still has value. I am here to tell you that every life has value. We can all make a difference and all have our own unique gifts to bring to the world. Do not let anyone convince you of anything less.

TIME TO RECLAIM YOUR LIFE!💪

Whether you are 18 or 80, the time has come to reclaim your life! What we are talking about here is taking control of the inner game. The time for surrendering to your emotions or the expectations of others is over. The time has come to give up having worry over things we cannot control. What the world needs is you living the life you were born too. That is a life where your soul is on fire and you are burning bright with the light that is your truth.

Just like the mythical phoenix, it is your turn to rise from ashes of your former life to soar higher and accomplish more! Our planet is in desperate need of people living their passion and purpose. No longer can we have a population of mindless zombies chasing the brass ring. The media has us believing that happiness can only be found in material objects. Big Pharma is telling us that it is a Prozac deficiency. Even politicians, and certain religions, have us hating those who are different than us. Family and friends may try to pressure us to take paths in life that do not align with our values and spirit.

Reclaiming your life may sound like a large and complicated affair, but it is not. My upcoming fourth book will tackle this subject in great detail. Right now I would like to share a few crucial steps that you can take to begin the process of reclaiming your life. First, write down a description of what you want in your life and the direction you would like it to go. Just having this ‘north star’ in which to navigate your life by, will put you ahead of the majority of people in the world today. It will allow you to see right away if the actions you are taking, or about to take, will bring you closer to the life you want, or take you further away. It will also serve as a great reminder of the reason to get out of bed every morning.

Next, come up with a routine that will have you taking daily steps to create the life you do not need a vacation from. This can sound like a near impossibility, but it is a lot closer than you think. Creating a routine, and taking small but measurable steps consistently will allow you to continually get closer to that life you only dreamed of. More importantly, it will allow you to enjoy the process. Doing so will assist you in maintaining the self-discipline to stay true to the process you have set in place. Knowing every day that dream life is getting closer will have feed the flames of passion and that fire in your heart.

Whether you take these two steps, or something entirely different, I implore you to take action to reclaim your life from a world that is trying to steal in from you. It is you who deserve to wake up every morning on fire with excitement for the day ahead. This fall my fourth book will give you a customizable plan to do just that. Until then, feel free to share any tools and strategies that you use, or will use to reclaim your life, and like the Phoenix, rise from ashes of mediocrity to live an amazing life.

DO I HAVE TO? 😒

One of the greatest curiosities that I face is people who either purchase one of my books, attend a seminar or speaking engagement and then ask if they really ‘have to’ do the things that I recommend. I find this to be very confusing. Presumably, you purchase a book like Living the Dream or A Happy Life for Busy People, to learn how to transform your life. When the proven tools and strategies are placed before you on the pages, you ask if you have to do them. What is the answer to that question?

The answer is a resounding ‘No’. You do not have to do a single thing to improve yourself and/or your life. Then again, you also do not have to have an improved life. According to our good friend Isaac Newton, “For every action, there is an equal and opposite reaction.” Meaning, if you do put forth the effort to improve an aspect of your life, be that diet, skill set or fitness, then your life will have no choice but to improve.

There is a lot to unpack about this fabulous first law of motion as it relates to self-improvement. First, an object at rest will tend to stay at rest unless acted upon by an outside force. Same is true with your life! Unless you act to change it, or more to the point, what you do not like about it, nothing will change. You must apply force to move your stagnant life. Second part is that an object in motion will stay in motion unless acted upon by an outside force. If feel like your life is in a downward spiral, you must again apply some opposing force to change that or it will continue to do so. Either way, action is required!

Bonus thought on the bottom of this. Objects with greater mass take more force to change their motion. That is to say, if you have been making poor decisions and neglecting your life for decades, it will take intense and consistent action to change that. Your life didn’t fall apart in a day, and it will probably take longer than that to turn it around. This isn’t theory. As you can see, it is an actual law of the universe. Do you have to take any action at all? Again, you do not. However, if you want to see change, according to law, you must take action!

LIFE IS A JOURNEY 🚶‍♂️

Let us end the week just as we started it, with that loveable bear. Today, he reminds us to look at life as if it were a journey. This seems like a no brainer, as that is what life is. Yet, some of us, especially high achievers, like to view life as a continuous problem to solve. There will be problems to solve in life. That is true. However, if you view life as a succession of problems, you will have a life that does not feel very rewarding and fulfilling. Dare I say, your life will feel like you never get ahead and as soon as you have one thing figured out, another problem seems to crop up. Have you ever felt like that? I am sure there are times we all have.

Feeling like this throughout your entire life can leave you feeling defeated and may even have you questioning the purpose of life itself. If we remember that life is a journey, and like any journey there will be peaks and valleys, we will have a much better feeling. It is important to also consider that there are many things that you can only learn and develop in a valley. When you become rich and successful, you may not be able to see the beauty in the simple things of life. When the simple things are all you have, you appreciate them more. This can often manifest itself in romantic relationships. When you are in one for a long time, you can forget the pleasure that comes from receiving a hug after a hard day, or even having someone to listening to you when you talk.

Starting today, remember not only that life is a journey, but remember to see the beauty in that journey. Enjoy your journey, both the peaks and the valleys. For this is a journey we only get to travel once.

GIVE TODAY A CHANCE!

How about this advice from Mark Twain? It is really so true. Today, the day you are reading this post, has the potential for being the most beautiful day of your life so far. It doesn’t matter what challenges you are facing, what the weather is like or whom you have to spend the day with. We need to understand, and appreciate, that true beauty comes not from outside circumstances, but inner gratitude and appreciation for the beauty that surrounds us. I am a huge fan of sunny warm days, yet there is beauty to be found in the rain. There is a majesty to be found in storm clouds and thunder.

Is it a traffic jam, or is it a driving break to say some positive affirmations and sing along to your favorite song at the top of your lungs? Is it a red light delaying your journey or a chance to lean over and kiss the one you love? Is a workout something you dread doing, or is it something you can do to get you one step closer to that healthy body you are shooting for? At first glance, you might notice all of these facts can be true. It is the ‘glass half empty or half full’ question. Both ways of looking at it can be true, but one feels like lack and you are missing something, the other feels abundant and like you have something. Both are equally true, but how we choose to view it determines how it will make us feel.

Give today the chance to become the most beautiful day of your life. At the very least, just don’t get in the way of it becoming so. Free your mind of all the worry, fear, anger and other nonsense that we often fill our heads with. Instead, actively look for all the beauty and things that you can appreciate about the day. Feel free to share some of those wonderful things you discover!

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START BUILDING THE NEW 👷‍♂️

Great advice from one of history’s greatest thinkers. It aligns with one of the principles I teach. That is you should focus on adding the positive rather than eliminating the negative. There are several reasons you should do this. The main one is that is changes your focus from a feeling of sacrifice, to one of accomplishment. Take healthy eating for example. If your entire focus is “How can I stop eating all the bad for me food I love?” That sure feels, and sounds if we are being honest, like you are sacrificing or ‘giving something up’. That makes it feel difficult. If you ask yourself, “How can I add healthy and delicious meals to my meal plan?” That sounds as if you are adding something to your life.

Weight loss is another example. Thinking “I have to lose all this weight.” Certainly does not sound fun or like something we would look forward to doing. However, “How can I live a more active and healthy lifestyle that I enjoy?” sounds a lot better. Instead of thinking of grueling hours in the gym and fad diets, it will have us thinking of bike rides or walks with the family and discovering new healthy dishes. This may sound like splitting hairs on the subject, but it results in an entirely different reality.

Which lifestyle do you think you would be more likely to maintain, one of sacrifice or one of building? One that makes you feel like you are losing or lack something, or one that feels like you are gaining something or building towards a new and exciting future?

LETTING GO HAPPILY 🎈

The Winnie-the-Pooh posts have been quite popular on this site lately, so here we have another. It is Monday, and a lot of us are feeling the weight of the world on our shoulders. We need to let that go. Many responsibilities weigh heavy on our minds. It is not that you should not acknowledge that they are there, or even work on a plan to make sure they are taken care of. No, by ‘letting them go’ we, and that loveable bear, mean something different entirely. We should change our focus.

What this translates to, is where we choose to live. Not geographically. I am still waiting for the invitation for a book-signing in Fiji or the Maldives. Where we choose to live emotionally. Yes, I said choose. In life, there will always be worries, challenges and fears. They will creep into our minds whether we wish them to or not. What we do when they crop up is what makes the difference in the quality of our lives. If we are currently facing a health challenge, it will certainly be in the front of our minds. We must realize two very important things. First, there is only so much we can control about every situation. If we have done what we can do, we should focus on the positive outcome we are hoping for and feel grateful for it coming, even before it arrives. Second, and more importantly, we have to remember that stress and worry will only serve to make any situation worse. Not only mentally, but physically as well. Worry for long enough and you will weaken your immune system and give yourself ulcers. Plus, it will raise your blood pressure and a host of other nasty maladies. Not to mention it drains your energy and your spirit.

This week, let us do our best to let these things go. Instead, let us do our best to fill our minds and hearts with the most positive and encouraging thoughts we can come up with. Better yet, let us share these thoughts with everyone we meet. In fact, if you have a positive or encouraging thought, feel free to share it below.

PLEASE SHARE WITH US

What is something good that has happened to you today? Sharing positive stories with a negative world is like lighting a candle in a dark room. Not only does each one help, but each one makes it a little brighter.

So please share something good that happened to you this weekend with all of us. 😃

LIVING THE BAHAMAS LIFE 🇧🇸

I did not intend to have this be a week about relationships, but it is Friday and here we are! I like the quote by Steve Jobs above, with a few caveats. I think after you have an experience where you connect the dots looking back, you can look ahead and begin to connect some dots and see a probable outcome. Sometimes, reflection is one of the best ways to guide your future. Does that sound confusing? Let me offer you a personal story to help better illustrate the point.

About a month ago, Margie and I visited the Bahamas. We had a great time. Part of the reason why, I believe, was we watched television. If you know anything about me, this is a shocking statement. I am not a really big television watcher. This, however, had a point to it. We watched a show called Bahamas Life. It featured people moving to the Bahamas, often from colder climates. They were given the choice of three houses and we tried to guess which one they would pick. We also told each other which one we would pick.

As the snow fell outside our windows and temperatures fell so low that polar bears were looking for sweaters, we watched scenes with turquoise waters and pink sand. It increased our excitement for our upcoming trip. After we returned from what turned out to be an amazing adventure, minus the air travel there, we were excited to continue watching the show now that we had more intimate knowledge of the places we were seeing. Sadly, there was only one episode left. What had become an almost nightly guilty pleasure was now over.

Here we are, over a month since we have returned to our colder northern climate and the most unusual thing happened the other day. I was returning from running errands for Margie while she created one of her culinary masterpieces. As I neared our house, memories of watching that show, snuggled next to my love, came flooding back. My thought was, “Wasn’t that a great memory? Finding a show about the very place we were traveling to.” At that very same moment, Margie has similar thoughts running through her head as well.

It was by connecting these dots looking backward that we realized what a magical moment that was. We were, indeed, creating a beautiful memory. What is the power in realizing that? Especially after it is all said and done? It is just one of many moments we can fondly recall to realize what a blessed and amazing life we have shared together. It will also allow us to keep an eye out for such moments that might be occurring in the near future.

 

Here is a picture of us from that fateful trip. Proof, as the Winnie-the-Pooh picture above so eloquently puts it, (Yes I did call Pooh eloquent) we didn’t realize we were making memories, we just knew we were having fun. How about you? Are there moments in your life that, looking back, you realize were amazing memories, but at the time just felt like you were having fun? I am sure there are. How about some in the future that might turn into some of the best memories in your life?