One of the things that every child seems to remember is a grandparent telling them the same story again and again. They tell it with such enthusiasm and gusto forgetting that they told it to you last time they saw you. This is not only true with stories told to children and not only by elderly adults. It can happen in many friendships and even with coworkers.
This can lead to frustration and on a rare occasion, anger. “How can they not remember they told me that story countless times before?” We think to ourselves. That’s the problem here. We are only seeing one side of the equation. I think if we do our best to look at it from their perspective, we will create joy, or at least a lot less frustration.
Do you recall in the beginning of this post how I described the joy and enthusiasm in which they told the story? Often, their eyes light up and you can see a faraway lol in their eyes as they are transported back to the time of their tale. Let them have this joy. Be glad that they are experiencing it through you.
Life is far too short. Before you know it, they are gone and all we have left is the memory of that story. “I would give anything to hear them tell that annoying story again. ” we catch ourselvessaying. Enjoy it while we can. Celebrate that joy and stories we share.
Here is a reminder that in the midst of spring cleaning, working on getting that summer body back and wondering where our New Year resolutions went, that we should always have a little fun.
The quote in the picture above captures this perfectly. Feet dirty, hair messy and eyes sparkling. The first thing that came to mind was a charity race I did a few years with Margie’s daughter. It was 30 obstacles in about 5 miles. Raised money for children with cancer. At the end of it, we were covered in mud, scrapesand pride.Not only had we completed the challenge, we raised money for a great cause.Our eyes were sparkling.
The next thing I thought of was children. When we are young, every day is an adventure. We dive right into life. Our feet are usually dirty, our hair is usually messy, but our eyes are usually sparkling. I think we need more of that as adults. I would love to hear what you do to put the sparkle back into your eyes.
Anyone who knows me, or has followed this blog for any length of time, knows that I am a big fan of Mr. Rogers. I refer to him as one of my favorite modern-day philosophers. Many people think that his teachings were just for children. I could not disagree more. In today’s world, how many times have we seen adults acting out and think to ourselves, “They should have watched Mr. Roger’s episode on what to do when you feel angry.” Basic human decency and handling our own emotions are skills many of us could use a little refresher on from time to time.
There is something else that Mr. Rogers did for us that does not get enough attention. He was always one of our biggest fans. Even though he did not know many people personally, through the medium of television, he conveyed a genuine message of respect and appreciation for all of his ‘neighbors’ watching at home. We were reminded that there was something special inside each one of us. How many people in our lives speak to us this way? How many people tell us that they like us just the way we are? I am guessing not too many.
We may fall short of this belief in our character. We may speak to, or treat someone harshly. We may not do as good of job as we are able. We may not live up to our ability. Here is the thing, Mr. Rogers explained that it is important to love someone a little bit extra during those times. What a great lesson this is. We can apply it to our friends, our coworker and even our spouse. When people are disappointed in themselves, that is when they need to be loved the most. Next time you know someone has fallen short, let them know that you still “Like them just the way they are.” It will mean a lot to them and positively transform your relationship with them.
One of the most important people that we can practice this on is the person in the mirror. How many times have we done something that did not live up to our standards and then continued to punish ourselves for it long after the event? You might have been trying to eat better but caved in and had one of the free doughnuts in the break room. You meant to keep in touch with friends and relatives better, but life got busy and here it is a week later and you haven’t called. We can get down on ourselves and continue to put ourselves down for what was a step on becoming the best version of ourselves.
Nobody likes to feel the pain of regret and disappointment for an action they have taken. Here is a secret. That pain can often be a great driving force to improve our actions and attitude going forward. This I can speak to first hand. I have made many mistakes in my life, and will no doubt make many more. Do I feel disappointed in myself sometimes? Sure. I do my best to put those feelings of disappointment to work on motivating me to become the best version of myself. Even when I drop the ball and make mistakes, I know my intention is to improve and be more kind, compassionate and loving to those around me. Mistakes can be beneficial too. Knowing that even with my mistakes, I am still worthy of love and respect allows me to look in the mirror and say, “There’s no person in the world like you, and I like you just the way you are.” Does this take a while sometimes? Absolutely. Especially when I have made a big mistake. What I learned from Mr. Rogers is that it is important to be able to say this to both others and ourselves. That is the secret to compassion. That is the secret to love.
A quick reminder to create a balance in your life. We hear a lot about work/ life balance. We also hear a lot about how important it is to hustle, or grind. Then, we are also told how important it is to practice self-care and focus on creating joy in our life.
Which one of these is true? I believe they all are. You must have work life balance. That doesn’t always mean things will be 50/50. Some days you might have to work more. Some days are there to relax. Just make sure you have an ample supply of both.
Even on the days that have focused effort, make sure you are grateful and happy for how far you have come. You can both be satisfiedwith your life so far while still wanting more. Remember, without enough balance, anything just falls down. Life is the same way.
I love little messages that make a big difference. Here was the license plate on the car in front of me. What a great reminder to be kind. While we are driving, this can be a vital reminder.
What kind of small things can you think of that would make a big difference? Where are good places to place a message? What are some messages you can think of to share? I would love to hear all your answers in the comments below.
How many hours do you spend on video games in a week? How much time playing solitaire or doing crossword puzzles? What do you achieve by getting better at these? How about increasing your income? How about spending time to look better in comparison to others or for society at large? When you think about it, most of our lives are spent in one or more of these endeavors. While I am sure all of them have their redeeming qualities, we should be focused on winning a different game – the inner game.
What I mean by the inner game, is mastering our thoughts and our attitude. When you stop and think about it, life is truly an inner game. The quality of our life, is the quality of our thoughts and emotions. If you are someone who sees what is wrong in life and generally feels angry towards the world and you win the lottery what will happen? You will be rich and…angry. If you can maintain a positive attitude despite outside circumstances, you have true power. Life, or other people and circumstances, will not be able to bring you down.
As you can see, this is not a new thought. Controlling your mind means that you are taking back control of your life. Not being subject to the whim of outside circumstances. Life has it’s ups and downs. Your mind and emotions do not have to. This is a lifelong journey. Much like physical fitness, mental fitness requires daily maintenance. Unfortunately, you do not workout one time and stay in shape forever. Same with gaining control over your mind and emotions. We slip up and act and say things when we are angry that we later regret. Can you see how even doing that less would make your life better?
How can we improve the quality of our thoughts, and thus the quality of our life? There are many options. I am still learning some myself. One of them is to develop an attitude of gratitude. Finding reasons to be grateful even when it seems impossible to do so will make your life amazing. Finding the opportunities in challenges. Some people just see a pile of manure, some people see fertilizer. Next time your life seems like a pile of the stuff that comes out the backside of an animal, ask yourself, “How can I use this to grow from?” Countless musicians, authors and artists have used the worst pain in their lives to create some of their best work. Why can’t you do the same? Also, look for other meanings in life. We can find ourself looking for the worst on occasion. Begin to train your mind to look for the best!
All of these suggestions can dramatically improve the quality of your thoughts and your life. If you would like more ideas to improve your life, feel free to pick up one, or all, of my books! Just search “Neil Panosian” on Amazon. Feel free to share what makes the difference for you in your thoughts and emotions in the comments below.
I love this quote! People so worried about how we look in comparison to others, they forget how their uniqueness is what makes them beautiful. Think of the flowers. They all look different. Some are green, some red or some blue. Some people prefer one over another. It doesn’t reflect on the flower, just the feeling of the observer. Often the most beautiful bouquets are the ones made of a mix of different flowers.
Can you imagine if a daisy was sad because it didn’t look like a rose? It sounds silly, but that is exactly what we do when we compare ourselves to others. Just work on blooming and becoming the best version of ourselves. Shine in all of our unique goodness. That is what will make us amazing. Today remember that being authentically you makes you the most beautiful part of the bouquet!
As I write this it is Sunday afternoon. Monday is a tough day for many of us. The start of another work week. Back to the grind as they say. That is why the list above could be so handy. Ten things to be grateful for. I think reviewing these before bed and first thing after waking would be so helpful. Starting your day with a positive thought can make all of the difference.
Think about your actions in the morning. Is it a mad dash to get out the door? Even that, with a properly placed quote, or grateful reminder, can change our mindset we use to face the day. That is why I like those daily motivational calendars. You can peel off the paper to see the most inspiring thought. It sure is better than looking at social media or watching the news first thing in the morning. Find something that inspires you and has you fired up to live your dreams and chase your goals. This website is updated everyday, first thing in the morning. Feel free to subscribe and you will be greeted with inspiring thoughts 7 days a week!
The month is almost over. How are those resolutions coming? If that last question made you cringe, do not worry. It can be very difficult to not fall victim to bad habits. You may be thinking that you messed up this year. We are merely 1/6th of the way through it. Even if you find yourself reading this in your later years regretting things you have not done in your life, it is not too late. Just like the quote from the great stoic above, the life you have lived up to this point is over.
Wherever we are currently starting from, it is a beginning to live our life like we should. The time we have left only matters in so far as what we do with it. You might want to read that last line again. Whether it is 2 months, 2 years or 2 decades, you have an opportunity. That is the gift of waking up today. You have a chance to brighten someone’s day who is struggling. You have the chance to lighten someone else’s load in life. You have a chance to begin to improve yourself. You may not think you will reach the finish line, but you can inspire others with how you run the race.
The ‘reset button’. What a good way to look at this. We always have the option to reset. Whether we slipped off our goals after 2 months, or we are working on fixing behaviors that we have practiced for decades. Resetting and working on improving should be an exciting and life-long pursuit. This should not seem like something to dread. The fact that there is no finish line in the world of self-improvement does not mean that you never get to celebrate. It means that no matter how amazing your life, relationships, health and career are, they is always a way to make them at least a little bit better. This should excite you. Celebrate the small wins along the way. As for defeats or stumbles, just pick yourself up, dust yourself off and start all over again,
For a man who has a heart that belongs in the tropics, but lives where winter lasts about 9 months, this is a very real possibility. Every morning (between 4am and 5am) when I am on the way to work thoughts like this pass through my mind. I routinely pass a little diner that Margie and I love going to. The thought often pops into my mind, “I could just pull over, call into work and have a nice plate of French toast.” Then I think of how I need to work to be able to afford French toast and I drive on.
Last post we spoke about how I often use my morning commute to focus on what is beautiful in my life and what I have to be grateful for. Couple this with noticing things on my route that I may have missed or failed to appreciate, and you can see how it can start your day with the right attitude. There is also something else I do on occasion that seems to help maintain my sanity during the gloomy days of winter, so I would like to share it with all of you. Do note, it does not have to be gloomy, or even winter, to use this method.
Above is a picture of me. Note the layers I am wearing for winter. I am lost in thought. This was taken during a brief break during a writing session. If I recall correctly, I was enjoying the sunset and remembering watching the sunset over the ocean with the love of my life on vacation. It was a good relaxing moment. That is all it was, a moment. I take several of these throughout the day. It helps keep the stress level low and put a smile on my face. On the drive home, you can find me imagining all of the bare trees on either side of the road are palm trees and I am driving back to my villa overlooking the ocean. Just getting into that feeling and imagining what it would be like helps me escape from the snow, if only briefly.
I invite you to also take these mini mental vacations. Get lost in your thoughts for a while. Just make sure to keep your eyes on the road, or wait until a stop light to do so. Take moments to reflect on happy times in your life that you had, or that you are looking forward to having. It will give your brain that few seconds it could use to diffuse and reboot. It will help all of the challenges not seem so bad. I would love to hear about some of your favorite mental escapes.
