One of the great secrets to an amazing life is to set yourself up for success. Learn as many tools and strategies to improve your life and maintain a positive emotional state as you can. Never rely on just one strategy to get the job done. Just as a screwdriver would not work to saw a log in half, or a saw to put a screw in, different situations in life call for different tools.
One thing that will help is setting your environment up for success. In this endeavor, use the same approach. Engage as many tools and strategies as you are able. I have a daily inspirational calendar I read. There are also motivational pictures and quotes in my locker at work. We discussed having a ‘happy playlist’ of songs that inspire you at the ready. Another great idea is to keep pictures around that just make you smile. The picture above of the otter is a great example. I have many silly and adorable pictures of my beautiful lady that never fail to put a smile on my face. I would share one of them here, but I fear I may be sleeping on the porch then.
How about you? What tools and strategies do you use to keep a smile on your face and joy in your heart? Do you have any pictures that make you smile? Are they placed where you can see them every day? Share your ideas so that we may all be one step closer to an amazing life!
I once heard someone say, “You are older than you have ever been and younger now than you will ever be again.” Sounds crazy, but if you ponder that, it is really true. How quickly can life be turned upside down? You could lose a physical ability you have today in an instant. A friend or relative could move away, or worse pass away. Every second is such a gift. Can you think back 10 years? What would you have done differently or wish you would have done? Realize the same will hold true 10 years from now. Live life to its fullest every second of every day.
I would love to hear some of your stories. What do you wish you would have done differently 10 years ago? What do you do to enjoy life in the present? What do you suggest for our readers that will help them enjoy their life more?
Love the last line of this quote, “and it’s not only about trains.” Raise your hand if you have found yourself on the ‘wrong train’ in life? If you do not have your hand up, you have been extremely lucky or are not being completely honest with yourself. We have all been there and there is no harm in getting on a wrong train. That could be a job, a relationship or any other area of life. Sometimes it takes a while to realize where the train is headed. Sometimes we change our destination and need to adjust what train we are on. Life can be like that sometimes.
What is meant by the longer you stay on the train the more expensive the return trip will be is that the more we persist in the wrong actions, the more difficult, and often more expensive, turning things around will be. How many of us have heard people stay in jobs or relationships they know are wrong because they have been there a long time. It is equivalent to staying on a train that is heading to the wrong destination. Here is another fact to keep in mind. Even when we do get on the right train, we do not get to our destination right away. We may often have to travel back through some of the same ground that we have already passed. Take relationships for example. You may finally find the right partner, but experience some of the same problems from the partner you left. This can be for 2 very good reasons. First, you might be part of the problem. Second, to this relationship, the problem is brand new. You may have fought about it with your ex countless times, but hey, this is a new train. If you are practicing the tools and strategies on this site and in my books, you will be better equipped to handle it in a more productive fashion than you have in the past.
While you are traveling on your right train, be sure to enjoy the scenery. Often, we are so focused on the destination we miss enjoying the trip. Plus, the scenery can tell us that we are on the wrong train, or at the very least, our train might be on the wrong track. Perhaps you do have the right partner, but your relationship may need a little guidance. Focusing on a shared destination and what is important to see on the journey.
Speaking of the journey, it can often be misleading. On the way to a tropical destination, you might have to go through the mountains and see some snow. Keep the destination in mind and adjust your travels. If you are looking to get to the tropics and the weather outside the train seems snowy for far too long, maybe it is a sign to ask yourself, “Is this train headed in the direction I want to go?” If it is not, maybe you need to switch trains, or switch tracks.
Same with careers. Is your job using you or are you using your job? My day job used to feel very incorrect for me, but I have learned to ‘switch tracks’ and put it to use for me. I practice the tools and strategies I learn on my coworkers, helping them level up and live the best life they can. Can you find ways to put what may seem like the wrong train on the right track?
Here we are, Monday morning. Back to the grind as they say. What all of these cliches do not tell you is what this ‘rat race’ may be costing you. Many people have greatness deep within them waiting to come out. In fact, I would say all of us have that area in which we both love and do well at. The sad truth is that most of us are too tired at the end of the day to pursue this course of action. We give our best time and energy to keeping the lights on and a roof over our head. That is admirable for sure.
What this post is here to remind you of, is that we must give ourselves time for self-reflection. Many do not know what the area we were born to do is. We do not know what that intersection of self-fulfillment and service is. We might work on it on the weekend or the occasional day off. Some of us put discovering what this is until after we retire. By the time we figure out how to put in action and bring it out to the world, we are dead. That is a sad truth. Let me assure you that I understand being tired. Working 55 hours a week at a day job, DJing on my only day off can be exhausting. Still, my life mission of helping others become the best version of themselves and live their best life is so important to me, we are currently at 1040 days in a row of bringing you content. I am also working on bringing my fourth book to life.
That is why it is so vital that you begin to explore what really lights you up inside. Is it fishing? Is it painting? Is it talking to others? There are opportunities in all of this. Begin to explore those things in hobbies and side hustles. You might have to lose a little sleep, but you will gain energy with the excitement and passion you use. I promise you this is how you can make the biggest impact in the world, by doing what you love. What the world needs are more people doing what sets their soul on fire. Won’t you join us?
The title of this post, “That was a lifetime ago.” is a phrase that my mother and I utter to each other more often as the years go by. As we walk, or sometimes sit for coffee, we recall places we used to go and people we used to know. Quite often both of us feel like it was an entirely different lifetime. Have you ever felt this way? That activities that you used to engage in, or perhaps the people you used to engage in them with have disappeared from your life. In the rapid pace of change that the world now faces, entire industries can be gone and replaced by something else seemingly overnight. As we get older, the pace of change seems to quicken. Not sure why that is. Perhaps it is because we are more aware of the fleeting nature of life? It could be that we have experienced more and the more knowledge we accumulate, the more things seem to change.
Above is a spot in a local coffee shop. The table on the left is where a good portion of my first two books, and even a bit of my third, were written. This particular location is moving. Not that big of a deal. Still, the sentimental part of me had to take in this place one last time. I have had so many memories there. Margie, my mother and I stopped for one last coffee. Margie actually had an iced cherry chai. We reflected on many of the fun times we shared there and looked around at everything that was packed in to boxes ready to go.
The staff at this location have become friends of ours. Sam, who discussed how to make a cream sauce with Margie, is always amazing. Dakota has returned after moving abroad. Even the lady we just meant, Jen, was very kind and helpful. We are hopeful that they all we be at the new location. One nice thing is that we were able to have a heads up that this place would be closing. That way we could plan one more day there. As we all know, this is not always the case. People and places can leave our lives without warning. We are left with either regret or a longing for one more time. One way in which you can not only decrease the feelings of regret and loss, but enjoy the present more is to become more present. I mentioned we were given warning that this location was closing, but what if we had not? Had we always focused on being present and fully appreciating the amazing staff, decor and overall ambience of the place, we would be bummed they were leaving, but satisfied we made the most of our time there.
As true as this is of coffee shops, restaurants and other such places, it is even more true of people. When someone leaves our life, for whatever reason, it is not some grand thing we wish we could do with them. It is the mundane. Sharing one more laugh, one more cup of coffee. Maybe even hearing that story they told us a million times just one more time. It is with a great deal of irony that the things that annoy us can be the things we miss most about someone when they are gone.
This is why it is so vital we live in the present moment. Why we learn to appreciate every detail of the life we live. It is not some cliche self-improvement hack. It is a way of living. The Latin phrase, Mors certa, hora incerta, meaning “Death is certain, the hour uncertain.” reminds us that the end of anything could be right around the corner. The time to enjoy life, and all of the people and coffee shops in it, is now. Soak it all in. If you treat each day as the last you might do something, one day you will be right and you will be glad you did.
Oh, another good one! When you look at things from a different angle, it can often help you to better understand the absurdity of some of the actions we take, or things we believe. When we are young, we always want to do what the ‘cool’ kids are doing. Sadly, depending on who we think is cool, this can end up with us eating tide pods. What is even more sad, is that some of us never outgrow this desire. We want to do what the ‘cool’ adults are doing. We could be involved with doing something that brings us a great deal of joy until some ‘less informed’ individual comes along and tells us how foolish it is. Suddenly we feel the urge to give up what brought us joy or at the very least, we can feel foolish for allowing it us to bring us joy. Either way is has stolen some of the happiness we had formerly experienced.
This brings two points to mind for me. First, there is a special spot in hell for people that make fun of someone who is doing, wearing or engaged in something that makes them happy. If it is not harming anyone else, what business is it of yours? The second point is that we give far too much importance to other people’s opinion. We touched on this last post. Comparison really is the thief of joy. You would not let someone come in and redecorate your house, why let them do the same for your life? Even if someone comes into Margie and my home and tells us they don’t care for our picture of Marilyn Monroe or Nat King Cole, my first thought is “I don’t really care.” Not to be rude, but it is our house and it makes us happy.
One of the ways in which I experience this the most is in an aspect of my relationship with Margie. When we feel an overwhelming love or appreciation for each other, we may post something on social media. There are people who are offended by this. They say things such as “You two make us sick.” or “We already know you love each other.” Again, first thought in my mind is…well…I can’t say my first thought, but it isn’t a worry about offending these people with the love I express for the amazing woman in my life. Here is the ironic part. We have witnessed these same people post negative things about their partner, or when they do find that special love, post the same things they were so bothered by that we posted.
My point in all of this is that you should do what fills you with joy. Do what makes you happy. If someone expresses a negative thought about it or you, examine it for any validity. If there is none, let it go and go back to enjoying life to the fullest like you have. Life deserves to have the most joy it can and you deserve to have the greatest amount of happiness you can.
Many people find themselves in a state of unhappiness. There is a way to turn that around. That is to begin to work on becoming the best version of yourself. It begins with an honest evaluation of where you are now. This can be a bit deflating, but in order to know where you want to go, it is necessary to know where you are. Think of looking at a map. If you were to look at your destination, but have no idea where you are, how would you know in which direction you should go. It is the same with the journey of your life.
I once heard Tony Robbins say, “Progress equals happiness.” Earl Nightingale’s definition of success is, “A progressive realization of a worthy ideal.” Both of these bring up a good point. It is not the accomplishment of goals, or reaching a certain point that brings us the greatest deal of happiness. Although those certainly should be celebrated. If you notice in both quotes, the word ‘progress’ is featured. Think of trying to get in shape. It certainly is a great feeling to look in the mirror and find yourself at the level of fitness you desire. Do you know what is an even more exciting feeling? When you realize you have to by a size smaller in clothing because the size you have been wearing for the last couple of years is now too large. You know you are on your way!
One of the greatest thieves of joy is comparison. It can even upend progress. Have you ever had this experience? You are feeling good about the progress you have made towards some goal. Smile on your face, joy in your heart. Then you run into a friend who has made greater progress towards the same goal, maybe even in a shorter amount of time. Suddenly, your happiness is crushed. You go from feeling like a conqueror to a failure. It is worse if you are just about to start your journey of self-improvement. You pop on social media and see pictures of people who you went to school with that have not only already accomplished the goals you are striving for, but have surpassed them.
The phrase that comes to mind in all of these examples is “Who cares!” That is them. We never know anyone’s complete story. Maybe they post pictures of their career success but fail to mention the happy home life it cost them. Maybe they appear to be madly in love, but are fighting addiction. Another important point is that each journey is unique to the individual. I am more impressed with someone who has managed to reach a state of inner peace after fighting the demons of depression than someone who has reached inner peace after inheriting a fortune from their family. That is why it is so important to be focused on improving ourselves and the challenges we have overcome.
Here is a bonus way of making this more fun and enjoyable. Look for the small accomplishments of your friends, family and even your coworkers. Celebrate them as if they were your own. You never know what it took for them to overcome that. The more you help others celebrate their wins, the more joy and peace will come to your heart. Not to mention, the more likely they are to celebrate your wins as well. Remember, there is enough room for all of us to win!
Fred Rogers is one of my favorite sources of inspiration. Many of you know that already. I have never heard this quote before, but it only serves as an example of why I enjoy the man’s ideas so much. Think of all the people you have met that have made a difference in your life. This even holds true for people you have reconnected with after a long time. They can add so much joy into your life and help you grow and discover new things about yourself you have never known.
Margie and I DJ every Sunday. It is not my favorite thing to do as I am not really a bar person and work early Monday morning. However, we have met and became friends with some wonderful people. There are great couples like Ron and Deb, Montell and Tanya, Rise and Ron and Chris and Nicci. This is but a mere sample of them. We have become good friends with the bartender Kelly. There is an older gentle who goes by Melvis that always puts a smile on our faces. Our friend Sara is so generous with her kindness and help we always appreciate her. So many people that do sweet things for us and with us that if I mentioned them all it would take several posts.
This is just one example of an area in which we have made lasting connections. In my day job working for the Postal Service, I have made wonderful connections at each location I have worked at. Some of which we still gather with on federal holidays for lunch. I have friends from childhood. My friend Matt I have known since we were 7. A few years back, I reconnected with my friend Kevin who I have been friends with since we were both 4! Even Jenny, my friend who cuts my hair, I have been friends with for over 3 decades. Each one of these people has made my life a blessing and helped me discover some new and wonderful things about myself.
There are the unexpected connections that can have the greatest impact. While I was working as a bartender I was connected with this amazing lady. Not only have we been blissfully in love for 10 years, but we are going to get married in the hopefully not too distant future. You never know when a connection will transform your life and send it in a completely different direction. Be grateful for all of your connections. If treated and fostered correctly, they are what make life feel like heaven.
How many of these amazing things do you make it a point to put into your life? The more of them we add, it is like watering a plant. The more we are likely to grow! In each of these items, there are also many options. Take ‘kind words’ for example. You could write affirmations for yourself. You could listen to an encouraging meditation or you could read secret2anamazinglife.com!
Out of these ways to water yourself, which is your favorite? Use as many as you can. The more you use, the more you will grow. You deserve it and you are worth it!
Here is a great gift I received from the love of my life. A book filled with 500 things to be happy about. The cool thing about all of these…well…things, is that none of them require a large amount of capital. Most of them require none at all. Can you imagine that? In a world that makes a fortune off helping people find their bliss or joy, here is a book that lists 500 ways you can do it for free or pretty close to.
One of the things that makes this book so fun, other than the amazing lady who gave it to me, is that many of these things happen to us daily and we take them for granted. Why is that so fun? It means we are passing by happiness daily to look for it. Most of them we fail to notice or fully appreciate. Some we even turn into negatives. Does this sound confusing at all? It did a little to me in reading what I just wrote, so let me clear it up with a few examples.
Here is a picture of me working out. Seriously, it is of the late Greg Plitt, one of the people I draw inspiration from. Many of us are on a quest to get in better shape. Does this sound familiar? You make an gym date with your friend after work. 5pm rolls around and you are so tired you just want to collapse on the couch. How could you have been so dumb to say you would go to the gym? Suddenly you are mad at your friend, mad at yourself and dreading going to the gym. You make it there and complain about how tired you are through your entire workout. After you make it back home you cannot believe how sore you are. With a change in perception this could be an entirely different experience. You could look forward to working out after a long day knowing that it will help reduce stress, release the feel good hormones and provide you more energy on the back end. You could enjoy the knowledge you are getting stronger with each rep. When you get home you could let the sore muscles give you a feeling of pride that you put in a good workout.
There is a literal fountain of possibilities to be happy. Most of them require the ability to be present. Some listed in a book are as follows. Finding a matching lid to a container. We all know how frustrating it can be when you can’t. Why not enjoy a little moment of happiness when you do. A bird landing close without seeing you. How cool is it to be able to catch a glimpse of an animal that is normally scared of humans? Peeling of the protective sticker on a new gadget. Knowing that it is ready to be used. It is like starting a new adventure. Take a moment to smile about it. How about the smell of early morning coffee? If we take a second to notice it at all, we may just say, “That smells good.” What if we really took even a few seconds to pause, inhale and really savor the smell.
Here is what I noticed almost all of the ‘things to be happy about’ involved. There were two things required to transform what may be ordinary happenings into moments of joy in our hearts. Those two things are being present and being grateful. Knowing this, we can transform anything into a moment of being happy. Like our workout example above, if we change our perception, we can change our emotional state. Imagine being grateful you can workout. Sure, you may not be where you want to be, or able to do what you want to do just yet, but you can workout. Many people can’t. Think of the ability to read this blog. How many people in the world are still not literate? How many do not have access to the internet?
Let us add to the list of 500. Share your little things that bring you great joy, or could bring you great joy with a little present moment awareness and gratitude.
