Tag: Gratitude

TRY JUST ONE ☝️

Everyone seems to be looking for the magic secret to their best life. Even the name of this website is Secret2anamazinglife.com. This may sound rather cliche, but success is really an inner game. The most powerful thing you can do is control your mind and control your emotions. That may sound simple on the surface, but it is far from easy. Most of us were not told this was even an option growing up. We were taught we were at the mercy of both our thoughts and emotions. That may be the case, but it is because we gave up that control to them.

A powerful and successful life is one were we can put our thoughts and emotions to work for us. The million dollar question is how do we get control over our thoughts and emotions? It is the small habits we do daily. It takes time. You have lived your whole life believing that outside circumstances determine how you feel and what you think. This does not have to be the case. Look at the items listed in the photo above. Doing any one of these can help you regain control over your life. Being present is something that is truly missing. We either are worried about the future, regretting the past, or just have our heads buried in our phones being distracted. Then we wake up one day wondering where all the time has went.

Try using the items as a daily checklist. See how many you can get in one day. Do not stress over getting them all, but try to see how many you can get. Being grateful is one of the ones I would suggest starting with. It makes a huge difference. It is impossible to experience a negative emotion while being grateful at the same time. That is a version of ‘addition by subtraction’. The more time you spend being grateful, the less time you will spend in a negative emotional state. One way you can start to take control over your emotional state.

I would love to know how you take control over your thoughts and feelings. Can you see the power in remaining calm when everything else is in chaos? Share your answers in the comments below.

GET LOST… FOR YOUR OWN GOOD 👍

For a man who has a heart that belongs in the tropics, but lives where winter lasts about 9 months, this is a very real possibility. Every morning (between 4am and 5am) when I am on the way to work thoughts like this pass through my mind. I routinely pass a little diner that Margie and I love going to. The thought often pops into my mind, “I could just pull over, call into work and have a nice plate of French toast.” Then I think of how I need to work to be able to afford French toast and I drive on.

Last post we spoke about how I often use my morning commute to focus on what is beautiful in my life and what I have to be grateful for. Couple this with noticing things on my route that I may have missed or failed to appreciate, and you can see how it can start your day with the right attitude. There is also something else I do on occasion that seems to help maintain my sanity during the gloomy days of winter, so I would like to share it with all of you. Do note, it does not have to be gloomy, or even winter, to use this method.

Above is a picture of me. Note the layers I am wearing for winter. I am lost in thought. This was taken during a brief break during a writing session. If I recall correctly, I was enjoying the sunset and remembering watching the sunset over the ocean with the love of my life on vacation. It was a good relaxing moment. That is all it was, a moment. I take several of these throughout the day. It helps keep the stress level low and put a smile on my face. On the drive home, you can find me imagining all of the bare trees on either side of the road are palm trees and I am driving back to my villa overlooking the ocean. Just getting into that feeling and imagining what it would be like helps me escape from the snow, if only briefly.

I invite you to also take these mini mental vacations. Get lost in your thoughts for a while. Just make sure to keep your eyes on the road, or wait until a stop light to do so. Take moments to reflect on happy times in your life that you had, or that you are looking forward to having. It will give your brain that few seconds it could use to diffuse and reboot. It will help all of the challenges not seem so bad. I would love to hear about some of your favorite mental escapes.

NOT ORDINARY, A SECRET! 🙊

This is one of the great secrets to living an amazing life. With such focus on ‘finding happiness’, many people forget to look in one of the most obvious places. That hiding place is their own life. You might be thinking that cannot be true of your own life. You would be wrong. Even if your life is full of challenges right now, which would include 90% of us, you still can find a great deal of happiness you are missing. It can be found in things that we think are ordinary. The words that follow may sound cliche, but I urge you to stop and ponder them.

When you think of all of the things getting in your way of being happy, does it frustrate you? Do you have a strong desire just to live a more fulfilling and happy life? I think we all do. What if I were to tell you that one of the major obstacles to lasting happiness in your life is…well…you! More specifically, your mind and its tendency to be a little lazy. We are exposed to so many different bits of information that our mind (more to the point, our reticular activating system) has to filter out what is important and what is not. This can be very helpful when looking for possible danger and challenges. It can be a detriment when trying to fill our hearts with happiness.

Right now, we could be focused on a million different things. How the air feels on our skin. How different articles of clothing feel resting on our skin. How the light is casting shadows in the room. How deep we are breathing. Most of these we just take for granted. If we tried to notice everything we would go insane in a relatively short period of time. Normally, our brains are on the lookout for things that need improvement at the moment. We are just wired that way. What if, you began to balance that by adding a question you periodically ask yourself. One question that could change your life entirely. One question that could help balance the scales and begin to bring more joy and inner peace into your life.

This magical question is simply, “What can I enjoy in this situation?” There are many versions of this. You could also ask, “What is beautiful in my life right now?” Look at the cat in the picture above. It appears to be enjoying the wind, sun or maybe even the smell of tuna in the air. It has stopped to smell the roses, or again, maybe the tuna. We can walk past so many ‘rose bushes’ in our life and never stop to appreciate them. I endeavor to do this on my way to work every morning. I look to notice businesses I may have missed. I notice the plants planted along the streets. I think about the wonderful night I had with my lady, or look forward to what we are going to do after I get off of work. Not only does this change my focus, but it starts my mind in a positive state on the way to work.

One great thing about doing this is that it becomes second nature after a while. When you get into the habit of asking yourself what is beautiful or joyous in your life often enough, your brain will start to do it on its own. How long this takes will depend on your own situation. It may help to start by designating a time to ask yourself this every day. Just like my morning commute. Yours could be asking what went beautiful in your day before you fall asleep. This will not only help you get better rest, but will set your day ahead up for success. Even if you had challenges that day, those are beautiful. They can often help you appreciate the challenge-free life you might take for granted.

LIFE IS A LOT EASIER IF YOU ARE RICH! 🤑

This should be a no-brainer for most people. Being rich seems like it would add a little joy to life. Not having to get up to go to work. Being able to do what you want, when you want. Not worrying about things like house and car repairs. When you are feeling ill being able to go to the hospital without first weighing the cost that you will incur by doing so. How about dressing nicer or eating at fancy restaurants? Yes, life is a lot better when you are rich. That is not at all what this post is about!

Many of you know that I am currently working on my fourth book. In doing so, I have asked many people their definition of a fulfilling life. Today I asked the person behind the counter at one of the local coffee shops that I frequent when I write. His name is Antonio and he is always a very pleasant fellow. His answer was at once both simple and profound. He said, “Being happy.” After a moment of contemplation, he expounded on that thought and added, “Being happy with your body, with who you are spiritually. Being rich in the important things.” It started me thinking on how we define true wealth.

The thing about the wealth we were talking about is that it is both conditional, and to a large extent, beyond our control. Stock markets crash. Business fail. Droughts and famine happen. Here is another thing about material wealth, it really is a bit down on the list if you stop and think about it. If you work on your wealth to the detriment of your own health, is it worth it? You work day and night and end up with a heart attack. How much is the money worth now? What if you spend all your time chasing material success and do not spend any time investing in your relationships? How could would it feel to be rich and alone? The picture above is a prime example. It shows me and my three book covers. It was taken in sunny Jamaica. It is great to have published 3 books and it is always great to be in the tropics, but if I had nobody to share it with, what fun would that be? The best part of that is the lady who took the picture, my fiancée Margie.

We hear of so many wealthy celebrities who turn to drugs or tragically commit suicide. Many of us ask, “How could they want to kill themselves? They had everything.” This is proof that material wealth does not, by itself, make a fulfilling life. Taking care of our mental health, and the mental health of those we love, is so important. Investing in our physical, mental and spiritual health is where the real wealth comes in. Spending the time to create a deep and loving relationship that will give us joy whether things are hitting the jackpot or hitting the fan is real wealth. Become rich is things the world cannot take away.

There is one more area I want to mention that it pays to be rich in. That area is kindness and compassion. There can be no greater wealth than to be someone who is kind to others. The more you invest in this, the better you will make both your life and those you share it with. Someone who has a heart full of kindness and compassion is someone who is truly rich indeed. Someone who has a heart filled with revenge, greed and disrespect is poor, no matter how many dollars he has in the bank. Become rich in the things that matter. That is what will give you a fulfilling life.

SO YOU THINK YOU ARE GRATEFUL? 🙏

This is an interesting thought. So many people are talking about gratitude and its power to change life. What is ironic is that most people have an interesting definition of what gratitude really is. This was brought home when I was listening to the audiobook, The Magic by Rhonda Byrne the other morning. She said how if people asked her years ago if she was a grateful person she would have told them that she was. Her justification for that answer is that she always thanked people for a gift, or for opening the door for her. When we speak of gratitude here, or when you hear about the power of gratitude, it is far more than that.

Despite what we may have been told growing up, or even what we think currently, thanking people when they do nice things for us is not living gratefully. It is actually just really good manners. There is nothing wrong with that. If we want to discover the true power of gratitude, it has to involve more than that. True gratitude cannot be conditional. A few posts back we discussed how I was choosing to focus on what I had to be grateful for in my life despite the challenges I have currently been experiencing. In doing so, it has help me feel good and enjoy my life so much more. That is the power of gratitude.

How about you? Are you only grateful when conditions give you something to be grateful for? Here is a secret. There is always a condition to be grateful for. Gratitude, like much of life, is a decision. When you want to feel grateful, just look around. There are so many things in our life that we take for granted that we should be so grateful for. Our health for one. Going to work on a Monday morning can be tough, but doing so with a cold is even tougher. We can dread work or be thankful we do not have to deal with a cold while working. Things like sanitation, communication, entertainment choices we have, clean water, a place to live and a million other things. One of the best ways to appreciate things you take for granted is to have them taken away from you. It is rare you will hear someone who used to be homeless complaining about the color of their kitchen walls.

Even in the terrible situation of losing something, we can be grateful that it is bringing to our attention things we might have taken for granted. Even that is something to be grateful for. Here is another secret to an amazing life. Feeling grateful feels amazing! The more we feel grateful, the better the quality of our life will be. Do yourself a favor and start to work on developing an attitude of gratitude today!

WHEN HAPPINESS COMES 😊

So much is made of gratitude in today’s world, and on this blog quite honestly. The funny thing is, with the power of gratitude talked about on whatever media you happened to be enjoying, less people than ever seem to be practicing it. Perhaps it is too simple of an idea to grab the attention of a world that has new technology appearing daily. It could be the amount of advertising that we see encouraging us to seek, buy and strive for more. While there is nothing wrong with wanting better for yourself, focusing solely on that will leave you feeling poor and in a state of lack. When we focus on what we don’t have, that is what we will feel. When you think about it, isn’t life how we feel? If we are happy, life is good. If we are unhappy, life seems gloomy and hopeless.

After reading and contemplating the words above, one question pops into our minds. “How can we be happy more often and therefore making our life better?”. The answer should be obvious. Foster an attitude of gratitude. There is always something to be grateful for. Even if our life is seemingly becoming a dumpster fire, we can be grateful for troubles we do not have. That is the power of the first quote. Although every life has its share of challenges and troubles, we can be grateful for those troubles we do not have. How can we do this? The answer was brought to my attention is the most unlikely of places.

I was trying to get the motivation to go to the gym after a long 10 hour work day. I saw a video from the late Greg Plitt. He was great at motivating others into a life of health and fitness. It was titled “Burnout”. Thinking this was perfect, I hit ‘play’. What I did not expect was the powerful message and change in perception that followed. He said if you are ever feeling like you are burnt out and can’t take any more, just go to your local hospital. Walk through the cancer ward and look at a 4-year old who has cancer and may not see 5. Talk to a soldier who just came back from war and may be missing a leg. Look them in the eye and tell them you are feeling burnt out and can’t go on. Wow! Even thinking about that made me realize how lucky I have it.

This is not to advocate ignoring self-care, or pushing beyond your limits. It is to show the power of gratitude can allow us to continue even when we feel like we have no more left in the tank. Yes, I did include the same quote twice in a row. No, that wasn’t a mistake. It is such a good message, I thought we should all reflect on it again. When I say that we all should use the power of gratitude more often, I am including myself. It is all too easy to get caught up focusing on what is wrong in our life instead of what is right. At any given time, they are both available. Spend as little as 5 minutes a day focusing on everything you have to be grateful for in your life and I promise you a week from now your life will be dramatically improved and you will be so much happier.

To close out, please share one thing that you are grateful for in your life. Let us all celebrate together.

DO YOU WANT TO STAND OUT? 😮

Do you want to stand out in your relationships? Do you want to be the one that makes those in your life smile? I think we all do. In order to stand out from everyone else, you have to do something different from everyone else. That makes sense doesn’t it? This doesn’t have to be dramatic or expensive to have a powerful impact. I’m going to show you how to become a significant player in the life of those you care about while making them feel amazing. Better yet, I’ll show you how to do this for $2 in just a few minutes. Are you on board?

Today is national “send a friend a greeting card day” Yes, I didn’t know it existed either. “Neil, nobody sends greeting cards anymore!” That is exactly the point! By taking a few minutes to write down some encouraging or inspiring thoughts in a greeting card and making it to a friend, you stand out. How would you feel checking the mail and finding a card from a friend telling you how awesome you are and how grateful they are for you? Pretty good, I would imagine.

It doesn’t have to even be a fancy expensive greeting card. They sell cards at the dollar store. It is the thoughts behind it and the uniqueness of the action. Imagine doing this for one friend a month,or even one friend a week! Think of how much your relationships could improve with the simple power of a greeting card?

A little rusty on writing out greeting cards? Do you want some practice? Our address here at Secret2anamazinglife.com can be found below.

P.O. BOX 333

Oak Creek WI 53154 USA

LIFE… THE END 😳

This picture, or group of pictures, is truly worth 1000 words. How many of us are like this lady? Chasing all of the material goods, grabbing all that we can.  Then, with arms full, she discovers she has reached the end of her life. She does have an arm full of riches,but what good will it do her then? The moral here is fairly obvious. Do not spend you whole life just chasing material wealth.

There are 2 other points that are important to add to this. First, while she is chasing the material goods, her eyes are locked onto what she is chasing. Not looking at the green grass, the blue sky or anything else. I’m not sure if that was intentionally done by the artist, but it makes a good point. How many of us focus on chasing what we do not have, never stopping to look at all the beauty around us? We settle for a feeling of lack. Instead, we should focus on the wealth we do have. That could be the love of our family, friends or someone special. If you are really lucky, like me, you have all three! The wealth of health. Even if it is not perfect, we are still blessed with a great amount of it.

The other point is that she is old in the last picture. Either that or she died her hair Grey. This is really a best case scenario. We never know when we will reach ‘the end’ sign in our life. That is why it is so important to enjoy the journey. Be thankful for what you do have while chasing what you want.

THE BITTER COLD CONTINUES 🥶

Yes, this is a funny little meme. Yes, it is also the honest truth for me when it comes to winter. It is also a great suggestion for appreciating different aspects of what the cold weather brings. I mentioned a few posts ago that where I live the weather is dangerously cold. The news is recommending people do not leave their house unless they have to. Makes you wonder why I am not on vacation writing to you from the tropics. As you read this, there is a great chance that I am doing just what the photo above states. Sitting inside enjoying a good cup of coffee. Chances are that I am doing so with some wonderful company as well.

As much as I dislike the cold, there is something wonderful to be said about being inside looking out at it. Enjoying coffee with Margie, my mother or some other wonderful person becomes so much more of a blessing. The fact that we have the freedom and ability to do so is something we are all grateful for. While it is true that you can do this in the warm weather, it has a different feel when the temperature plummets below freezing.

Wherever you are, and no matter what the weather is like, may you enjoy the blessing of sharing a great cup of coffee with some wonderful company. Make sure you take time to be grateful for the ability to do so. In a world where things can change in an instant, it is fully enjoying the present that makes all of the difference.

THE WARM PART OF COLD 🥶

Where I live, the temperature is supposed to be downright dangerous the next few days. It will get down to -10 ° (-24C) At this temperature, many bad things can happen. Of course your car will be tested to its limits. What is really scary is those individuals who are homeless. When the news advises you not to go outside unless you have to, what about those who do not have a choice? Especially the homeless children? We hear many concerns for those left without a place to go. We also hear a lot of people grateful that they have someplace to stay inside and warm.

If there is one thing that is good about this weather, it is that it forces people to notice those that are less fortunate. All to often, they are not even a thought in the back of anyone’s mind. This is not a negative knock on society. When worrying about the welfare of your children, doing well at work and a host of other life challenges, it can be easy to not give as much attention to the less fortunate. Truth is, we can all be one medical emergency, job loss or natural disaster away from being homeless ourselves.

Dangerous weather like what we will have here the next few days will shine on light on helping those who are in a far more challenging situation than we are. It will also have us feeling so grateful for all that we do have that we may often take for granted. Let us do our best to keep this mindset even when the temperatures begin to climb and it is safer to venture outside.