Tag: Gratitude

THE SECRET TO BEING HAPPY  😊

We often make happiness some complex realm that takes years to get to. It is even a multi-billion dollar business. These three simple rules can supply you with more happiness than you can imagine. Can doing three things really bring you happiness? Let us look at them one at a time to find out how we can.

The first one is having zero expectations of others. This can be so helpful in any relationship from business to intimate. Expecting people to have the same standards and beliefs we have is not only foolish and unrealistic, it will lead to conflict and disappointment on our behalf. Everyone has experienced life differently. They have their own unique way of looking at the world. The best we can do is to kindly explain ours, and do the best to understand theirs. When we feel people have let us down, it would serve us a lot more to try to understand why verses condemn them. Communication and conveying standards is essential, but so is compassion and understanding.

The next is taking 100% responsibility for our own lives. Let me tell you how freeing this is. The more we place the blame for our circumstances in life on other people or things, the more we relinquish control of our life to those very people or things. If it is your boss’s fault you are having a bad day, than it is your boss who would have to change that. If the person in the blue car who drove across 2 lanes of traffic to turn in front of you (actually happened to me on the way to write this) made you mad, than they have the power to control your emotions. The more responsible for your life and your emotions you are, the more control of them you have. Would you not want control of your own life? If you need help on this, I would recommend the book, Extreme Ownership, by Jocko Willink.

The last is being grateful. If you have read anything that I have wrote, you know that I cannot encourage people to be grateful enough. Gratitude really does change your life faster than anything else I know. Look at the picture above and the multitude of things in life we have to be grateful for. The list is really never ending. Even when life seems negative, gratitude is the other side of coin. Take the worst situation in life – losing someone you love. When we are sad thinking about the loss, we can help ease our pain a little by feeling grateful for the opportunity to know and love them. Will it erase the pain entirely? Of course not, nothing will. What it will do is give us another perspective. You would not miss someone so much if you did not love them a great deal. Loving someone and being able to share a portion of life with them, no matter how great or small, is something to be grateful for.

Here is a secret. The more you occupy your mind and heart with gratitude, the less you leave room for negative emotions. If you are keeping score at home, that means more positive emotions and less negative emotions. That is a win/win situation and one that will lead to a happier life.

As you can see, happiness really can be had by utilizing these three methods. It will take some time and practice, but it can be done. The more you work on making these three things a part of your life, the more happy it will become.

CREATE YOUR EXCELLENCE

We have spoken at length about the importance of both consistency and self-discipline. What difference do they really make? Even Aristotle knew that answer almost 2000 years ago. You do not become excellent because of what you do or what you accomplish. That is not to say worthy ideals are not worth pursuing. That is the definition of success. By pursuing these worthy ideals, it is who we become that matters.

Take getting healthy. You do not become healthy by killing one workout, or even several. Healthy is making a point to eat more natural food and less processed. Healthy is making sure to live an active life. This is done through repeated actions. Otherwise known as habits.

Think of habits you have everyday. Are they leading you closer to success or taking you further away? What are some habits you could use that would set you up for success? These do not have to be grand gestures. Even the smallest habits, done over time, create big change.

One thing I’ve noticed is once you get these small habits created and part of your life, you have momentum to start new and greater ones. Unfortunately, the same is true of bad habits. If we have a habit of eating terribly, missing the gym would not be that big of a deal. If we have a habit of finding things to be grateful for, we will always make sure to appreciate those around us. Check your habits and make sure they are serving you.

LAST MEMORY STANDING

Here is a picture of a sign from the 50th birthday party my lovely lady threw me about a month ago. With our insanely busy lives, we forgot to take it down until today. Here is a pretty cool aspect of that forgetting. Every morning I leave for work at about 4:30 in the morning. On my way to the car, I catch this sign out of the corner of my eye. My first thought is not that it would be far too early to remove the sign, or that I leave such little time to get to work that I do not have the time to stop and attend to such matters. My first thought is so much more powerful and helpful to starting my day off right.

No, the first thought that comes to mind is how much effort and love must have went into throwing me that party. Realizing you are that loved, by someone so amazing, is the best way to start the day. Even though the sign is down now, I will still see it in my head and feel the same way. Funny how when you train your mind to see what you have to be grateful for in your life, everything feels so amazing. This woman puts a smile on my face even at 4 in the morning when she is still blissfully sleeping.

Speaking of great memories, the above photo is yet another example. That is the afore-mentioned lovely lady and I enjoying a little coffee. In case you have not heard, Starbucks is closing over 500 of its locations and one of them was a location we had been to many times. This was the last day it was open and I thought it would be a good idea to create one more memory there. We stopped and spoke with some of the workers about their future plans. Margie even made friends with a dog she saw. Now, every time that I drive by that location, I will remember not only all of the great memories we had there, but this last day they were open when I was able to share one last coffee with the woman I love.

This is yet another example of a memory that we created at this particular coffee shop. We were both working on bringing my second book, Living the Dream, to creation. This post is not about living in the past, but rather being present enough to consider what great memories certain situations would create. It is also about creating and appreciating new ones. Today I am taking my love to the movies to see a film we have never seen and to a new restaurant for dinner. This will be creating two new memories to treasure into the future. When you are able to look back with an attitude of gratitude, it makes all of life magical. Even the hard days seem like a victory.

10 GOLDEN RULES FOR PEACE OF MIND

Inner peace. That is a goal I think all of us can get behind. Again, we tend to make this far more complicated and expensive than it needs to be. It would not hurt us to pick up and read a few books on the subject. All we really need to do is focus on the ten items listed above. Let us pick out just a few to see how they can positively affect our busy lives in this crazy world.

‘Respond, don’t react’ is a good place to start. With the ability to let the world know our thoughts at the push of a button, we can do a lot of damage before we even have all of the information. Even more importantly, we can do a lot of damage to ourselves. When we know we acted from emotion instead of our best nature, we lower our estimation of ourselves. Learn to pause and ask yourself empowering questions to go from reacting to responding. This will not only bring you more peace in the moment, it will give you more peace when you lay your head down that night.

‘Let go of what you cannot control’ is another one far too many people struggle with. Being filled with anger over what some politician did or worse said? Why? Sure it may affect our lives, but is it in our control to change? Telling everyone how terrible it is and walking around angry or depressed does not change the politician or what they said or did. Take actions that will help such as voting. Then work on creating change in your corner of the world. Sick of politicians that are speaking hate and division? Rather than letting it upset you, double your efforts on making others feel loved and accepted. It will not only make life more enjoyable, it will bring you greater peace.

‘Choose silence often’ is very important in a world where it seems there are things vying for our attention every minute of the day. When was the last time you just sat alone with your thoughts? With the advent of cell phones, even a few minutes alone in the restroom isn’t safe. Try turning your phone off and going for a walk in nature. Better yet, find a nice place in nature to sit in silence. You will then combine two of these tips at once. Double the peace.

‘Practice Gratitude’ is of course my favorite step to take towards inner peace. There is no more powerful emotion to develop that will change your life faster than gratitude. That should make you want to adopt this as soon as you can. Gratitude will not only increase your peace, it will increase your joy! It will turn your life into one that is magical. It may sound hard to believe for some of you unfamiliar with the attitude of gratitude. Let me assure you that this is not hype. When you learn to be grateful for everything in your life, the peaks and the valleys, life becomes a dream. We hear people say they are “Living the dream” all of the time. It is even the title of my second book! When you learn to be grateful, you will be truly living the dream.

Those are just a few of the steps listed here. Which one is your favorite? Is there another tool or strategy that you use to bring peace to your own life? I would love to hear about it!

SECRET OF HAPPINESS

Happiness is a multi-billion dollar business these days. Everyone is buying books, attending seminars and going on vacation looking to find that moment of bliss we all seek. The ironic thing about all this is that the solution, and the bliss, is a lot closer and a lot cheaper than we make it. When people look at the quote above, they mistakenly think developing a mindset like this will stifle the motivation to pursue a better life. That is not the case at all. When we appreciate what we have as we are pursuing something better, it fills our life with more joy and makes us more resilient to the challenges along the way.

Sadly, the way that most people learn to adopt this attitude is when what they have is taken away. If you are unhappy that you cannot get around as well as you used to, what happens when the ability to get around is taken away from you all together? Suddenly, you would love to have that ability back. You could be working on improving your ability to get around through exercise and stretching while reminding yourself “At least I have the ability to work on this.” Think of people who complain about going to work. On occasion I can be one of those people. One of the best ways to fall in love with your job is to face the prospect of losing it. If you lose it all together, you would be overjoyed to have to go to work again.

I do not wish that you would have to face anything being taken from your life. Although, if it does indeed make us more grateful it can be considered a blessing. To adopt this miracle mindset before that happens, use that magic and powerful word -gratitude. There are times I listen to people get truly irate over trivial things. You are consumed in anger because your neighbor’s dog uses your lawn like a public restroom. Sure, your neighbor should be more considerate, but to lose yourself in anger over it only serves to ruin your life not theirs. You think your life is tough and people treat you unfairly? Try going for a walk through a children’s cancer ward. These kids are barely starting life and are facing the prospect of it ending all too soon. Not to mention the ridiculous financial burden their families will be saddled with on top of their emotional burden. Then, tell me again how your neighbor’s dog is ruining your life.

You may think this as an extreme example, but the point is the life we live is the dream of far more than we can imagine. You have the ability to read this right now. That means you have access to the internet, not to mention the ability to read. Those two items alone would allow you to accomplish more than someone could have done in decades only a few years ago. Are you aware there are roughly 800 million people in the world who cannot read and write? Think of how much that will limit their opportunities and future?

Realizing how wonderful we truly have it will not cause us to sink into a world of lazy contentment. On the contrary. I find that when people adopt a grateful attitude and realize how many gifts they have in their life, they are more eager to develop and share them. How about you? Has this article inspired you to take a hard look at all you should be appreciating in your life? I hope it has.

LIVE YOUR VALUES

This quote could not come at a better time. It seems the world is arguing about whose values are right. Many people are doing their best to force their values on others. That never works. Why, in the year 2025, have we not figured that out is beyond me. If we truly feel our values are ones other people would benefit by adopting, there is only one way in which we can have them desire to do so. Notice I did not say convince or force them to. When we attempt to do that, it creates resentment and often negatively represents whatever value we are attempting to inspire others to adopt.

The one way in which we can demonstrate to others the benefits of adapting this value is to live it ourselves. If we are advocating a particular health lifestyle, but we are sick all of the time and lack energy, it would seem unlikely anyone would follow our advice. In my line of work it is much the same. I wrote a book titled, Living the Dream. If you ran into me and saw that I was in a constant state of depression, my health was poor and so was I, would you be likely to buy the book? I know I would not. The reality of the situation is that I have people asking me the secret of my happiness and the relationship I share with the woman I love. I guess I could tell them to “Read the book.”

It is not just what is in the book, but the fact that I live and practice the activities that I wrote in there. If you read that book, available on Amazon I might mention, you will have the very same tools and strategies that I use in my own life. Speaking of my amazing lady, there is another secret to living your values – having people in your life that call you out when you are not. It can be a bit frustrating when I am busy feeling sorry for myself and I hear my love’s sweet voice ring out, “That is not living an attitude of gratitude.” Having someone who holds you accountable is one of the best tools to living an amazing life. We all slip from time to time. Having someone remind us of the values we hold dear is worth its weight in gold.

MAKE LIFE MORE INCREDIBLE THAN YOU IMAGINED

I cannot say this enough, so apparently I will say it again today. If you are really searching for the secret to an amazing life, and if you are reading this site I can only assume you are, start with changing your focus to gratitude. Why do we focus on this one emotion so much here? Gratitude is so powerful that if you truly put it to use in your life, it will turn the life you have into the life you love. It will feel like magic. Why? Because life really is magical. We have just become blind to it. It is like walking over a diamond in the sidewalk on the way to work everyday. Actually, it is better than that. Having an attitude of gratitude is more valuable than a diamond.

Have you ever noticed how your thoughts affect your mood? Your mood, after all, is your life. If you are angry and pissed off, your world will be angry and pissed off. If you are someone who is always looking for the beauty in what is around them, you will be someone who always sees the world as beautiful, even in the darkest of times. If you want to live a life that is amazing, you must start to look for and focus on what is amazing. To help this, try speaking about what is amazing. Speak of your blessings. Les Brown once said, “Nobody wants to hear your problems. 80% don’t care and 20% are glad it is you.” That is not to say don’t reach out if you need help, just that you focus on your blessings.

In life we all have struggles. We also all have blessings. Look around you. There is so much beauty and joy to be discovered it is inconceivable. Look at the face of someone you love. Think of how much they love you despite all of your quirks and flaws. Think of the beauty and kindness of all the souls you cross paths with. Every person blesses the world in ways we may never understand. Begin by sharing one thing you are grateful for every day with others. See how much this transforms your life. Imagine how you make others feel when you enter a room with the phrase, “Do you know what I am so grateful for today?” It may encourage others to acknowledge all of the blessings in their life as well.

THE BEST PATH IN A WORLD OF HATE

It can seem the world has become a little dark lately. The news, which I do my best to avoid at all costs, has been filled with stories of anger and tragedy. Many people’s hearts are filled with the same. Even if you are not part of the problem, it can be hard not to feel the effects of the problem. What can you do when the world feels like it could collapse at any moment? My answer? Be grateful it hasn’t.

Self-care becomes even more important for the individual when the world seems to need it. More about that in a second. It can feel quite difficult to even leave the house when the outside world seems crazy. First of all, sometimes the answer is not to. Stay home. Have a glass of wine and watch a movie. Maybe craft with your kids while listening to some fun music. Maybe have a glass of wine while crafting with the kids. Just don’t craft the kids with a glass of wine. In all seriousness, sometimes the answer is to shut out the world and enjoy a little peace. While doing so, change your focus to what you do have to be grateful for. This can seem difficult at first, but stick with it. After spending time with self-care and gratitude, you would be amazed at how much the world can change.

Eventually, you may have to leave the house. What then? How can you survive in this crazy world without losing your mind. Remember that self-care and gratitude? Practice it on others. Let others know that they are appreciated and why. If you can practice acts of self-care, like paying for the coffee of the person behind you, then do that. Share smiles and reassurance. Know the overwhelm you feel is often felt like others that may just be hiding it better. Everyone loves to know they are appreciated and everyone loves the gift of genuine kindness. Even the ones who do not appear to. They are the ones who need it the most.

Next time the insanity of the world has you feeling overwhelmed, take time to escape for yourself. When you do go back out into the world, share kindness, compassion and gratitude with as many as you can, as often as you can. This will not only help you feel better, it is also the only way in which we can heal the world.

3 SIDES TO EVERY STORY

Have you ever heard that there are 3 sides to every story? Usually this consists of one side, the other side and the truth, which is somewhere in the middle. That is just one of the reasons you avoid gossip every chance you get. In the picture above you will see another reason to avoid gossip. It is the like game ‘telephone’ you used to play as a child. One person says something and it is passed down from person to person. In what seems like an alarmingly short time, the story does not resemble at all what it first started out as. Gossiping the same way. Taking part in it and you may unknowingly fall victim to information that is quite far from the truth.

Here is another point to mention. Gossip, even if there is a great deal of truth to it, makes the person saying it look bad. When you are sharing bad things about others, especially in a public forum, you look bad. Most people look at someone speaking ill of others and think that they look shallow and vindictive. Even if what you are saying is 100% true, which is seldom the case, what good is there is sharing someone else’s faults with others? It is unlikely to help change what you view to be their faults. It is certain that it will not help the person spreading the gossip. There is one other important thing to consider when you are spreading gossip.

Spreading gossip makes you look untrustworthy. Even if that is the very gossip you are spreading about someone else. Hearing someone say, “Don’t trust her, she can’t be trusted.” People will notice it is coming from someone speaking ill of a person who is not present. How trustworthy is that? Not to mention, the thought that eventually creeps in everyone’s mind who hears gossip is, “If they are saying that about them, what do they say about me when I am not around?” Considering the times that we get upset with others, including those we care about, it is a legitimate question.

If you really feel the urge to gossip, there is a way in which you should do so. If you feel you must discuss people instead of ideas, there is a way in which you can satisfy that urge and maybe even help yourself in the process. That is gossip positively about someone. When was the last time you heard any gossip that was positive? Have you noticed that when people discuss others in their absence it is almost always negative? How do you feel walking away from one of those conversations? It usually brings your energy down and as we discussed earlier, makes you think less of the person doing the gossiping. Now, how would you feel if you were witness to some positive gossip? Never heard of such a thing? Just imagine how you might feel then? One, the person doing the gossip would feel a lot better than had they just been trashing someone. Secondly, those listening would have a much more favorable opinion of the gossiper. Lastly, they would not worry about what you are saying about them when you are not around.

Try this today. Spread some positive gossip. It may even feel weird at first. Run with it anyway. It will force you to think of positive aspects of those you know. This will also help increase your feelings of gratitude. Trust me when I tell you there is never enough gratitude in our lives. Watch other’s reactions when you do this. Watch their faces light up and notice how it will even make them feel good. Word of warning. Sometimes others will be so unused to this that they may try to turn the gossip negative. Do not let that happen. It is not that they are willfully being malicious, it is just that they are also used to gossip being negative. Change the narrative. Be the light in a world of darkness. Next time you hear someone gossiping, let them know you are not interested and walk away.

SLOW DOWN THIS WEEKEND 🐌

We touched on this last post. We need to slow down on occasion. Spending time in nature has so many benefits that we have devoted entire posts to it in the past. Laughter is truly the best medicine. Without the best medicine, there is no way your life can be healthy. One thing that wasn’t listed in the photo above that I believe is important is connection. In all of our lives we need to experience, and feel, a sense of connection. With friends, with nature and with ourselves. This can be a spiritual practice, a meditative practice or making it a point to be present with a night out with friends.

A fun little art project that can die this all together is to come up with a ‘Slow down book’. Just my idea of a title, use whatever speaks to you. This can be something as simple as a notebook, or as fancy as you want to be. In this book, record moments where you do slow down and feel connection and inner peace. You can do this by jotting down a memory of the moment, placing photos you have taken of the event or maybe a menu if it is a place to eat. The possibilities are endless. Customize it as you see fit.

Why is creating a ‘memory book’ so important? Can’t we just remember these moments in our head? Sure, but having a tactile reminder can be such a heart-warming experience. It can supply us with extra feelings of gratitude when viewed after the fact. After a stressful day when we are doing our best to think of a way to unwind, we can review the book and see events that have brought us joy in the past. You would be surprised how difficult thinking can be when you are already stressed out.

I would love to hear about some activities that bring you peace and joy. What do you think about the idea of creating a book like this?