Tag: Gratitude

PLANTING TREES AND THE MEANING OF LIFE

One of my favorite things I have ever written (see my book Living the Dream) and also my favorite YouTube video I have done (search Neil Panosian on YouTube) is writing your own eulogy. The reason why is that it offers an amazing solution to many of the things we struggle with in our life. That can include direction and clarity. There are countless books read and billions of dollars spent on finding our life’s purpose and on the best way to live our life.

The irony is that it really is not that complicated. One of the quickest and easiest ways to answer these questions is to write our eulogy. When we ponder what we would like our life to be remembered for, we know whether the actions we are currently taking are moving us in that direction or not. We also know what to do and what not to do that will have us living a life we want to be remembered for. Like planting a tree we will never sit under. Taking actions that will have a positive effect on future generations is what not only gives our life purpose, it is what creates a great legacy.

Recently, more value to this writing your own eulogy has been brought to my attention. That is thinking of specific areas of your life and certain people. Think of people that you consider important in your life. What would you like them to say at your funeral? Even though you will not be there to hear it, the point is that it will be what they remember you for. This will not be the same for everyone, obviously. What it does provide is direction on how we should treat and act with each person individually. When I think about my love, Margie, I think of one set of actions. When I think of my friend Nick, the actions are obviously different. However, each ‘eulogy’ would give us the proper actions we should take.

In what is a somewhat less personal aspect, think of other areas of your life. How would you like to be remembered at work? Someone who always complains or someone who always encourages others? Either way, you know the actions to take. How about in your community? Do you want to be remembered at all? If so, make sure to get involved. It could be as the helpful neighbor. You could get involved in community groups or neighborhood clean ups. To, of course, how you want to be remembered as a person. This may seem vague, but it should not be. It is how you act and treat people on a daily basis. How are you to retail employees? How are you when you talk on the phone to people? How do treat strangers and people who can do nothing for you? These people may not give a eulogy at your funeral, but their memories will be there just the same.

As you can see, writing a eulogy can offer a lot to your life while you are living. It can offer direction and clarity. This is true with not only your life in general, but specific people and situations as well. When your life seems turned upside down and you are not sure what direction to go, I suggest doing two things. First, list everything you are grateful for. This will give you a better mindset and help you see that you still have a lot going for you. The second is to write your eulogy and think about what you would want people to say about you. Is that currently where you are? If not, what actions do you need to take to correct that? The answers will reveal themselves and you will know where to go from there.

EVERYONE HAS A MILLION PROBLEMS UNTIL…

This could not be more true! When I am on my way to work in the dark of 4am, and the temperature is well below freezing, I think to myself, “This would be a lot worse if I were sick.” Our health is one of those things we not only take for granted, but seldom notice until it is gone or compromised. The irony of this is that our health gives us so much to be grateful for. This is true even when it is not perfect. For example, I have a bad heart and breathing issues that I will have the rest of my life. I could lament this daily. It would be true and reasonably justified. What would that get me? A life feeling like I was somehow a victim. It would put a dark cloud over every day. Instead, I am grateful that they do not always crop up and that there is still plenty I can do despite them.

In addition, the challenges that our health occasionally provide is a great reminder not to take it for granted. It is also a reminder that to a large extent we have control over our health. It is said that up to 90% of disease is lifestyle driven. Therefore, despite what big pharma may wish for you to believe, our health is not the result of proper pharmaceutical regimen, but one of a healthy lifestyle. The healthier we live, the less of their products we will need. It will not only help our health, it will help our wallets as well!

 

Another benefit to focusing on the health we do have and what we are able to do, is that it improves both our physical health and mental health as well. We see our health, and our lives, as one of possibilities instead of one of limitations. This will not only reduce our stress and increase our inner peace, but will provide us motivation to continue our journey of health both mental and physical. Gratitude is one of the best prescriptions for health you can take. By appreciating our health, we are less likely to take it for granted.

Next time you find yourself focused on one of the challenges of your life, remember to pause and appreciate the health that you do have. When you are feeling down because your health is not where you want it to be, remember to be grateful for the health you do have. This will not only lift your spirits, it will open your eyes to opportunities you may miss if you were only focused on illness and problems of life.

SO MUCH TO BE GRATEFUL FOR!

This is a picture of my lovely lady and myself in Jamaica. It was our first time there together roughly 5 years ago. For her birthday I was able to surprise her with a return trip to that very resort which she loved so much. After the terrible hurricane they suffered, they need some support as well. I was so grateful to be able to treat her to this for all the amazing things she does for me. In addition, while looking through the photos I noticed something very interesting. My lady actually looks younger and more beautiful today than she did 5 years ago in these photos. That is saying something as she always looks so lovely. I am so grateful to be with such an incredible woman.

We also went out to breakfast at one of our favorite locations. Our server could not have been any better. This always makes the experience far more enjoyable. When they heard we were celebrating Margie’s birthday, they brought out a delicious blueberry muffin and wrote “Happy Birthday” in chocolate sauce. The server also gave us a piece of flan which she made herself. We were so grateful to enjoy this experience together. Looking across the table at such a beautiful woman and knowing I am going to spend forever with her filled my heart with gratitude.

This may certainly seem like my life is all sunshine and rainbows, and while I am truly blessed, there are some challenges that have shown some new things to be grateful for. A few posts ago, I shared that my new car had hit a patch of black ice and slid into a snow bank. This caused a cracked bumper. I was told when plastic gets cold even snow can crack it. This certainly was not a fun moment, but it gave me plenty of new things to be grateful for. One, I had insurance so the repairs only cost my deductible. Although this expense was more than I cared to spend right before the holidays, it lead to some amazing savings. Turns out my former insurance agent had set up my policy wrong. This resulted in a $48 dollar a month savings going forward, as well as a $300 refund after Christmas. That was almost the cost of the deductible. In addition, both the insurance people and the repair people could not have been any nicer. They taught me a lot about my car and the insurance on it.

Another great item was that I have a back up car I use for when we DJ. I was able to use that car to go to and from work. This saved me from having to get a ride at 4am. It also helped refresh the gratitude for my new car. I missed many of the features that made driving in the cold a lot easier. I was conveying just such a thing on the way to breakfast when my lovely lady remarked, “You must be grateful for the other car too.” It doesn’t hurt to have a lady that pays attention to the things you write about. In the process of being grateful to have the new car back, my gratitude for the old car started to slip and it was a great reminder.

Whether celebrating a great time, or doing your best to make it through a tough time, gratitude is the secret. Things may not be as you wish they were, but they can always be worse. We owe it to ourselves and our mental health to focus on gratitude!

I AM SO SHOCKED!

As I write this post, the amount of gratitude I am experiencing cannot be put into words. The purpose behind this site is to help leave the world a better place than I found it. To that extent, every new tool and strategy I learn is shared and discussed with anyone who wishes to join our community. In addition, when I come across something that would uplift, encourage and empower others, I share that as well. Working together we can uplift each other and the world at large.

As you can see by this chart, we have had the most successful year since inception. Over 27 thousand different people have viewed this site over 34 thousand times. To me, that is not an accomplishment to boast about, but one to be grateful for. The driving force to continue to make this website, and all of the material I put out, a success is to help more and more people. We all need a little uplifting and someone to lean on now and then. Many of us do not have that person in our life, or we may not feel like we do. This site is designed to be that person in as many lives as possible. It is my sincerest desire that the sense of community we foster here will be taken into the communities of those who read it.

Speaking of communities that have viewed this site, you can see the countries that have shaded in green. I am overjoyed that so many of our friends across the country of China, the continents of Africa and South America have checked us out this year. Not sure how to reach our friends in Greenland, but we will keep trying. My point is that we were in over 200 countries this year and on 6 of the 7 continents. I hope that in each one of these the sense of community moves from online to in person. That is an aspect we will work on in 2026. The lessons we share here are done so freely and openly. It is all about each one of us working to become the best version of ourselves in whatever journey we are traveling.

The more I speak with people across the globe, the more one this becomes clear. No matter what separates us geographically, politically, or culturally, we all share many of the same ambitions and many of the same challenges to those ambitions. We also have the same desire for community and connection. In 2026, we are going to work on strengthening that connection to all of our friends around the globe. One great way to do this is to hear from all of you in the comments. I do my best to respond to each and every comment left here or on our corresponding Facebook page. We are so excited that we got to serve so many of you this year and look forward to being of even more service next year! Thank you again from the bottom of our hearts here at Secret2anamazinglife.com.

LIFE IS GOOD WHEN YOU ONLY WANT THIS FOR CHRISTMAS 🎄

Here is hoping your Holiday season is coming along quite well. One question that is always difficult for me to answer is, “What would you like for Christmas?” The same is true for my birthday and any other celebration. I may have finally come up with the perfect gift. Looking at my life, I certainly have enough ‘stuff’. Probably more stuff than I need. My relationship is amazing and with the most beautiful lady. Time spent with family and friends are always so rewarding. My job pays me fairly well. What possibly could be something I am missing?

The gift I am speaking of is continuation. How many people ask for that under the tree? When you have a life like mine, there is so much to be grateful for, why would you need anything on top of that? All I would like is more of the same. Waking up next to the woman I love. Having a job to go to. Being able to work out and continue my journey to good physical fitness. Coming home to that same beautiful and wonderful woman. Going for walks and out to coffee with my mom. Trips to the zoo and museum on occasion. Great conversations with friends. Having the privilege of sharing my thoughts and the tools and strategies with wonderful souls around the country and around the world! These are all gifts I would just like to continue in the coming year.

Are there challenges in my life? Sure. My job is not the most inspiring and does not make the best use of my talents. The weather where I live is far too cold for my liking. There are miscommunications with those we care about. There are many different challenges. Do I wish for those to continue? Yes, actually I do. It is those that allow us to grow and become better versions of ourselves. They are not always fun, but sometimes there are necessary. They also test our commitment and resolve towards becoming that best version of ourselves. Are you living a life that if it were to continue as it is that you would be grateful? If not, what is standing in the way of that and how can you change it? This holiday season, let us collect our blessings and gratitude and understand they are the greatest gifts of all.

THINK ABOUT THIS MONDAY MORNING

Here we are at Monday again! Seems like there is 52 of them a year. So many of us dread Monday. It can be understandable. Back to work, away from the family. You can’t sleep in and spend the day drinking coffee and relaxing with those you love. Unless, of course that is your job. In which case, please let me know where they are hiring. On Monday we have obligations to meet. This time of year we might have some weather to contend with. There are far more challenges than on the weekend.

This quote from the Dalai Lama reminds us that despite our challenges, or often including them, the gift is to be alive. We need to change a little mindset on a Monday. Instead of asking ourselves how we can make it through, I feel we should ask ourselves how we can make sure not to waste it. If we adopt the saying from the Dalai Lama above, we will begin each day with both gratitude for the gift of being alive and an intention to make something out of that gift of life we have been given. This may not always lead to a successful day full of joy and dancing unicorns and rainbows, but the chances sure will improve with intent.

This may seem a bit over-the-top for some of you. It really shouldn’t be. Our lives can be one phone call, one diagnosis away from being flipped upside down. I do not think any of us could argue that. There are people in the hospital wishing and praying for the life we know have. There are people who would have gave anything to make it as long as we have. Their life may have been tragically cut short. Yes, we all have challenges and things we need to overcome. That is part of life and what helps us grow and discover new and wonderful things about ourselves and the world around us.

As for the intent portion of the equation, how much better would our day go if we looked in the mirror and declared that we were going to have a wonderful day no matter what the world threw at us? It is admitting that things may not go according to plan, but we still can maintain control over our emotions. I recall reading Man’s Search for Meaning by Viktor Frankl. In that book he describes his experiences at a Nazi concentration camp and how he managed to maintain control over his emotions. Dare I say, we will not face something so grave, but we will still face our share of challenges. It may seem like wearing rose colored glasses when we claim we can maintain our inner peace and joy despite outside circumstances, but that is not so. We can still admit we would desire things were different than they were, but that there are still many reasons to be grateful the way things are. Even if, as the quote above says, it is the gift of being alive.

WE DID IT! EARLY AT THAT!

Never in my wildest dreams would I ever imagine that I would be writing a daily inspirational blog for over 13 years! What makes my heart so full of gratitude is that we seem to be growing our community and reaching more souls in more places. Still no Greenland, but we will get there. We are in over 200 countries and this year, as of this writing we have had over 28,000 views. That is the second most in 13 years! Even better is we have reached over 22,000 people. That is the most in 13 years.

My life’s mission is to leave the world a little better than I found it. Through sharing the tools and strategies I continue to learn, I believe I am doing just that. With all of your help, and lately with a lot of our friends in China, we will continue to grow and positively impact the lives of all of those we care about.

This blog was started on Thanksgiving in 2012. Gratitude is the one thing that will change not only our lives, but the world at large, quicker than anything else I know. Tomorrow we celebrate Thanksgiving here in the United States. While there are lots of things we need to improve, there are still a lot we have to be grateful for. I look forward to continuing to serve you and to increase engagement as we look forward to the coming year. With your help, 2026 can be our biggest and most impactful year yet!

THE GIFT YOU MUST GIVE THIS HOLIDAY SEASON

Everyone is concerned about giving gifts others will enjoy. Some even done themselves crazy until they find what they think is the perfect gift. I can be a little guilty of that myself. In my book, Living the Dream, I reveal a secret of how to get inside information to discover that gift.

Today we will look at one gift that is universally appreciated. It does not cost a lot but is also rare and priceless. How can that be? Let us take a look.

The gift we are talking about is gratitude. Not just a simple thank you. Although that can go a long way during the busy holiday season when everyone is stressed. We are talking about genuine, heartfelt gratitude. Taking time to not only voice, but show what you appreciate about someone. That can be in a Christmas card, in person over Thanksgiving dinner or over coffee.

Gratitude is also a gift we should remember to give ourselves this holiday season. Be grateful for all of the people you have the opportunity to brighten their holidays. Feel genuine gratitude for not only the blessings you have, but the troubles you do not. We often spend our time doing the reverse.

Gratitude is the best give we can give this holiday season. It will warm hearts and bring smiles. It will help reduce stress and increase joy. What are you thankful for?

TAKE YOUR RELATIONSHIPS FROM ORDINARY TO EXTRAORDINARY

Last post we discussed how a mere 6 inches can make a huge difference in the world. If you haven’t had a chance to read it, you might wish to take a peak. The more I thought about it, the more that holds true in relationships as well. I almost titled this post “6 inches makes the difference in relationships” but that certainly could be misinterpreted. Do you best to get that thought out of your mind and let us move on.

Having a successful relationship is not as difficult, or as complicated as many would have you believe. Setting up some great communication and respect is all it really takes. You can have an ordinary successful relationship. My guess is that if you are reading this that would not be enough for you. Someone reading a site called “Secret2anamazinglife” would most likely want an amazing relationship. This is also not as complicated or difficult as you may think. There are a few basic mindset changes to make. By making these mindset changes, you will automatically take actions that will lead to relationships that are deeper, healthier and more productive for both parties.

How do you take your relationships from ordinary to extraordinary? The answer is in the words themselves. How to you change the word ‘ordinary’ to ‘extraordinary’? You simply add a little extra to it. This is exactly how it works in relationships. Perhaps your spouse asks you to stop at the store to pick up an item for them. Why not pick up a little surprise? Do not know what they would like? There is a good place to start, by listening. When they ask you to help them with something, try doing it with a smile and doing a little bit extra.

These may seem like obvious actions to take, but there are more subtle ones as well. As we briefly touched on above, why not practice listening more. This is not listening to respond, but to understand. Listen to learn. Our partners, or any relationship for that matter, will tell us what they like and dislike and what makes them happy and unhappy if only we would listen. Think of all the ability you would have to improve your relationships if you knew the other party’s likes and dislikes? Their favorite movies, books, places to eat, things to do for fun and anything else they would share. This will also make gift giving a lot less stressful for you as well.

Sometimes the extra can be time. Spending that little extra time thinking about the other person. What makes them happy? What can you do to make them happy or to take away some of their stress? One of my favorite things to do is to spend that little extra time thinking about everything you have to be grateful for in regards to this person. Then, you can think about how you would like to express this gratitude. Let me assure you that expressing genuine gratitude for someone and everything they bring to your life is some of the best ‘extra’ you can do. Do not take my word for it. Try it yourself!

Go the little bit extra. Whether that is a little extra silly or creating memories that even get you on the news, put a little extra effort in. That extra will take you from ordinary to extraordinary! On the top of your list should be thinking of what you have to be grateful for and how to express it!

WHAT WRITING AT STARBUCKS TAUGHT ME TODAY

The good-looking and charming gent above is me, while writing these blogs at my favorite Starbucks. While working here I tend to block out what is happening around me. This annoys Margie, but comes in handy when trying to complete a blog or book. The banter of the staff, the sometimes loud music and conversation of other patrons can be hard to block out for some. That is what Margie informed me of as she worked on her school work. For me, I get lost in the writing and look up to find an entirely different staff and group of people sitting around me. This happens more often than I care to admit.

Today was a little different. As I was writing my blogs I was casually observing the conversations being had around me. The staff here does an excellent job of greeting everyone who comes in. Quite often that greeting is followed by an inquiry as to the state of the individual. That could be a simple, “How are you today?” to something a little more in depth. It is nice to see that much engagement. Here is the crazy thing, most of the responses were negative. By most, I mean all of the ones that I heard. If you are keeping score at home, after being greeted by several employees and then asked how their day was going, most of the people had something negative to say. One man complained it was too sunny for him, only to follow up with the line, “At least it isn’t cloudy like it has been.” I thought to myself, “Wait, you are mad that it is sunny, but were not happy it was cloudy?” Between you and me, I do not think that leaves many other options.

In addition to these back and fourth quick engagements, I also caught pieces of conversations between several parties sitting down having coffee together. There were some discussing their disappointment the the state of government affairs. Another involved complaints about how their children were handling their lives. I understand wanting to vent to a friend. It is good for our mental health. Do you know what else is good for our mental health? Some positivity!

While discussing this with my friend Jason, he made what I think was a great analogy. When are we more likely to leave a review, after good service or bad? Here is the crazy thing, how do we feel after writing such a review? Sure, we may feel vindicated in the moment. We also usually relive the moment in our mind as we are typing. This often has us upset all over again. Now ask yourself, how do you feel after relaying good news to a friend? How do you feel after hearing their good news?

To recap, we feel worse when discussing something negative and happy when discussing something positive. In reflection, how much of our conversation falls into either category? I am just as guilty and find this a great opportunity to improve this aspect of my life. Here is my idea and I would love to hear yours. From now on when someone inquires as to my well-being, I am going to do my best to answer with something I am grateful for. This will accomplish two things at once. One, it will reduce my default negative response and two, it will also increase my overall feeling of gratitude.

I am inviting you to do two different things with me. Next time you are out in public, casually observe the tone of the conversations. If you work with the public, notice most people’s response to the question of how are they. Second, think of your own conversations and greetings. Do they involve “Finally being out of work.” or is it “Happy to be above ground!” Will you join me in answering the question, “How are you?” with something you are grateful for? I would love to know what you think about this and how you feel it will affect your life.