Tag: Gratitude

IT IS LATER THAN YOU THINK 🤔

This post comes out on a Monday. Back at work for most of us. We are busy working to keep the lights on and the bills paid. Before we know it, the week is over and we are exhausted. Socrates, and by the way of this post myself, are here to tell you not to forget the things that truly matter. I cannot convey my dismay at how many of us spend our lives majoring in minor things. I am not judging. I am guilty of this far too often myself.

This life we are given is a great gift. If we are not enjoying it, we are wasting it. You might be saying, “Neil, you do not know my situation. I cannot enjoy life right now.” You are right. I do not know your situation. There is one thing that I am sure of when if comes to your life, even if we have never met. That is that your life, and the lives of those you share it with are growing shorter by second. Each and every one of us will leave this beautiful planet and we have no idea when. It seems as we get older, or maybe face a serious medical condition, our urgency to live a life that matters increases. That is why you see so many people contemplating their own lives at a funeral of a loved one. It serves as a reminder that life is shorter than we think.

This thought of ever approaching, and uncertain, death is not to scare you. Quite the contrary. It is to motivate you. Life is meant to be lived to the fullest. Even situations that are not ideal. Your job may not be the one of your dreams. Personally, I am still waiting to host a talk show. Even in that job you can practice gratitude and find the joy. It can be your coworkers. It can be the interactions you have with the public or the opportunity to make their day a little brighter.

We pass by so much beauty and so many miracles on a daily basis it is beyond comprehension. Take walking by a beautiful tree. Have you ever stopped to think about how many years it took that tree to get to the stage it is now? What did it all need and have to go through? How many storms did it weather? Years of growth, fighting wind, rain and perhaps scorching sun. Still, here you are able to stand in its shade. Too obscure of a reference for you? Let us look at another one.

Working with the public is a challenge. I have done it my whole life. When you come to a coffee shop and the lady behind the counter greets you with a smile, do you know how hard that might be? Any smile we are given, whether by stranger or friend, is a tremendous gift! Think of what a smile means. Despite the challenges that person is facing, and we all are facing some challenge, they wanted to share a gesture of joy and acceptance with us. They could have thought of the crazy state of the world and scowled. They could have been overcome with grief and looked at us with tears in their eyes. Which are both gifts as well. Someone being brave enough to share their inner-most thoughts and emotions. Are you beginning to see how we are missing so much in life?

Aside from stopping and staring pensively at a tree, which might not be a bad idea, how can we begin to appreciate all of these miracles and beauty we are missing? There is a clue in the question. Appreciation. When we stop to be grateful for things, it not only adds joy to our lives, it helps us be a more appreciative and loving person. Who wouldn’t want to be around someone like that? Think of the plants in the islands in the middle of the street. Most of us pay them little, if any, attention as we drive by. While it is smart to keep your eyes on the road, a glance in their direction would serve us well. Can you imagine how dull and lifeless the street would look without them? This is just one example.

Another suggestion is to try and be present as much as you can. In the middle of a walk, stop and take a deep breath and soak up the moment. Who you are with. What is around you. You can combine this with finding something to be grateful for. I was behind a lady at the supermarket who was obviously in a hurry and was not keen to wait in the line we were in. That is understandable. How lucky were we that we were both able to afford groceries and that there were some there to purchase? In many places of the world this is not the case. We did not have to hunt or farm. We were not living in an impoverished country. Yes, long lines at the grocery store are not fun. Do you know what is worse? Wasting time being upset about being there. I am getting ahead of myself. We will talk more about that tomorrow.

ARE YOU REALLY GRATEFUL?

This post is not at all what I thought it will be. Honestly, an example of what we will discuss here happened to me this evening! I’m getting ahead of myself. Have you ever stopped and thought about everything you have to be grateful for? Take one event that you enjoy and really break it down. I did this with the Wisconsin State Fair. My favorite event to attend all year.

When I started to think about it, there are thousands of people that contribute to putting on this event. There are of course the people who run the fair, including its new CEO, Shari Black. There are the owners of the stands that sell everything from food to inflatable hammocks. There are the employees that work those stands. There are the people who maintain the grounds. They recently repaved a good portion of the park. I will not get into all of the people in the paving industry, but you see where this is going. Let us not forget the VERY important people who keep the restrooms clean.

This was the general scope of this blog post until about 730 this evening. Then this happened – the heavens opened up and the rain fell. The crowds scrambled. The main act was canceled. This, you would assume would ruin one’s time at the fair. Not so. There was a million things to be thankful for.

Earlier in the day, one of our favorite grocery stores gave away free ponchos. My mother and I availed ourselves to them. This was at noon. 7 hours before the rain. As we walked through the fair and on the way home, we talked about how lucky we were. First the ponchos. Then the fact we enjoyed the whole day at the fair before this happened. We were able to purchase food to take home on the way out. Everyone seemed in a silly mood even though they were soaked.

You see, in any event they are a million things to be grateful for. Think of going to work. People paved roads for you. There are traffic lights to make sure the trip is safe. You either have a car or public transportation. Think of all the people involved in these industries. You have a restroom at work… with running water.

These things may not seem like a big deal. Take any one of them away and you will see that they are. Remember, whether a morning commute or a rainy night at the fair, there is always so much to be grateful for!

NOTHING CHANGES UNTIL EVERYTHING CHANGES.

To me, this conversation seems like one I have had a million times. Although, we only have discussed it on here briefly. My mom and I reflect on certain things and say how it seems like a lifetime ago. Now, with almost 11 years together, Margie and I find ourselves doing the same thing.

Have you ever done this? Think about a restaurant you used to go to, or people you got together with and it seems like it was in another lifetime. The reason I bring that up is this time of year brings to town one of my favorite things, The Wisconsin State Fair. This year it seems many of the staples that have been there for years, or even decades, are gone.

We all understand that things change and hopefully evolve. Still, this begs the question how can we hang on to those moments? As we sat watching a dog diving show, this thought was bouncing through my head.

The answer is to stay grateful for them. To appreciate every moment as they happen. Look around you. The people and places around you may not be there tomorrow. It is a sobering thought to be sure, but hopefully one that will motivate us to appreciate each other and live in the moment.

HAVE A REASON FOR CONTACT 🤝

Have you ever stopped to think of the purpose of the interactions you have with people? Like meeting a friend for coffee. Was the point to vent about your crummy job and car that is constantly braking down? How about that dinner with your spouse? The other night Margie and I were having dinner when we noticed a couple across the restaurant. The entire time they were out together, he was on his phone and she was reading a book. They scarcely knew each other was there.

I’m not saying we need a minute by minute plan for every personal interaction. Some organic development is what keeps life interesting. I’m reminded of a new project in working on with a friend of mine. We have a framework of what we would like to accomplish, but leave room for some magic to happen.

Life is much like that. When meeting a friend, think to yourself “While we are having coffee, I’d really like to make each other laugh.” Before heading out for that romantic dinner with your spouse, maybe plan to share how much they mean to you while enjoying a delicious meal. Have a positive purpose in your interactions. It will help you have an even more amazing life.

GRATITUDE NOT RESENTMENT 😊

How many of us could benefit from taking this attitude not only into the gym, but into life. People complain about a wide variety of things. I am guilty of this myself far too often. As we can see in this quote, a change in perception can make a big change in how we feel. While we are complaining about soreness in our joints, there are others who do not have the ability to even use theirs.

This shift in attitude can transcend more than just our bodies. Our environment is another example. Perhaps our house has many issues that require our attention. It can be frustrating. If we were to instead focus on how grateful we are that we are not one of the countless homeless that will give anything just to have a place to lay their heads, it may make those repairs a little less frustrating. How about our job? Statistics say that 87% of Americans do not like their jobs. I would say over 90% of those people tell others they do not like their job. What would happen if they lost it? Do you think they would feel a sense of relief that they are not out of that occupation? My guess is no.

This is not rocket science. When we begin to focus on being grateful for what we have, instead of frustrated for what we do not, we begin to realize how much we have. Not only that, life is far more likely to give us even more to be grateful for. If you are about to dismiss this as some sort of new-age nonsense, let me give you an example. Let us say you were given some candy and you decided to share it with your friends. One friend in particular was very appreciative and grateful for the fact you shared the candy. Who would you be most likely to share with in the future? When you are grateful in a retail setting for the service you receive, do you think the service you get next time will be more likely to be better or worse? Anyone who has worked in retail, or with the public in general can tell you how rare genuine appreciation and gratitude from a customer can be.

If you spend your life resenting all that life has not given you, life will be one unhappy place. If, on the other hand, you spend life being grateful for what you have while working for something better, life will seem magical. You will feel lucky and blessed. Which would you rather feel? It is as simple as changing the way you look at life and feeling grateful.

YOU ARE THE FAVORITE! 😊

You never know how much you are loved. Rarely do people convey how much you mean to them. Let us be the change makers in that. Tell people how much they mean to you and why. Then, watch them light up and your relationship with them grow closer. It is these actions that will allow us to change the world in a positive way!

GET YOUR FILL OF ALL 4!😊

Here is a list of the 4 feel good chemicals in the brain and how to get your fix of all of them. Each chemical has a list of 5 actions we can take to get those feel good vibes going. Do you think you could take one of the actions from each category to help yourself? Might not be a bad idea to print this out and have a check list of sorts.

Here is another great way to improve your life and increase the feel good vibes. Pick someone close to you and incorporate one action from each category for them! You will not only only increase their happiness, you will strengthen the bond between you and increase the joy in your friendship.

These lists are far from complete. Think of what actions you could add to each category. Increase the good feelings and vibes as often as you can!

A WAY TO BE WISE 🤔

This is more than some feel good quote. Epictetus, who went from being born into slavery to teacher of philosophy, knew a thing or two about not having a lot. What allowed him to transform his life, and the lives of countless others, was his mindset! We have discussed at length the subject of gratitude on this site. We have done so because it is one of the most powerful tools we can use to transform our life in the quickest period of time. Want to suddenly have a more fulfilling and happy life? Your best bet would be to find as many ways to incorporate gratitude as you can.

Getting back to the quote at hand, what can it tell us about our own life? A good deal. We may not have been born into slavery, but all of us have had our share of hard times. Maybe a job loss or unexpected bill that has set us back. We all have. What makes focusing on what we have verses what we lack so wise? Let us take a look at that. It will help us see that life is really an inner game. What do I mean by this? Let us look at both sides of this quote.

When we focus on lack, life will never feel fulfilling. If we are a person filled with anger and rage and we suddenly win the lottery, have a great spouse and loving kids, what will our life be? It will be one of anger and rage. We spend so much time trying to achieve outer success before focusing on inner thoughts. That is why we see rock stars, movie stars and celebrities who seem to have it all take their own lives and become addicts. They mastered the outer game, but failed at the inner game. If you become rich and successful, but your are unhappy and ungrateful your life will feel like a failure. In reality, it will be.

Conversely, when we focus on what we have we feel fulfilled. This does not mean we will not seek something better. It simply means as we do that we will acknowledge the fact that we have a lot to be grateful while we are pursuing it. When we do receive more, it will feel even more wonderful because we are already living with an attitude of gratitude. It will just give us more to celebrate and feel grateful for. Those focused on lack will never have enough, no matter how much they have. Those who are focused at feeling grateful for what they have will always feel good no matter how little they have.

Can you see the wisdom in this mindset? One feels terrible no matter how good circumstances are. One feels great no matter how terrible circumstances are. Life, at its core, is our emotional state. If we can find a way to be happy regardless of outside circumstances, than our life will be one of joy. That way is through gratitude. After all focusing on what we lack has turned celebrities into addicts. Focusing on what we have has turned a slave into a philosophy teacher. You owe it to yourself, and those around you, to fill your heart with gratitude. It will make you less stressed, happier and more enjoyable to be around. That is a secret to an amazing life!

ALWAYS REMEMBER 🤔

How true is this statement? In everyone’s life, there have been moments that seem so dark we want to give up. It can feel like our life is over, that there is little hope. If we hang in there, things can turn around to a surprising degree. It can start with a Crack of light in the darkness, or dramatic like a sunrise.

The cliche that it is always darkest before the dawn rings true for a reason. Maybe it is the dark that allows us to appreciate the light more? Perhaps it encourages us to be more attentive to what we should be grateful for? Regardless of the reasons, we can experience some of our greatest moments after our darkest days.

Next time you find yourself in the bottom looking up, think of the cliche about it being darkest before the dawn. Clichés become Clichés because there is some truth to them. I’ll leave you with this quote from one of my favorite poets.  Think of yourself as that bird.

FALL IN LOVE WITH YOUR LIFE ❤️

This post comes out on a Monday. It would be a great day to start these practices. Then again, any day is a great day to fall in love with your life. There are 2 ways to look at this. The first is spelled out in the picture above. Make sure to include the little things that bring you joy in your life. Your favorite coffee, your favorite music and time with your favorite people or at your favorite place. It is important to be present for these. One of my favorite coffees to have on the way to work in the morning is Dunkin. It is smooth and good to sip on while your body wakes up. The tricky bit is that my mind is often a few minutes away from waking up as I am on my way to work. I can easily finish a cup of coffee before I even realize I am drinking one. I have to make a point to sip it and be grateful for the experience. Gratitude is a great way to be present.

That leads us into the second way to fall in love with your life. That is to see the magic in it. How do we do that? Think of when you first fall in love with another person. Everything they do is magic. Oh, look at the way he takes out the garbage. Oh, when she opens the pickles she looks so cute. Everything they do is magical and you fall in love with it. Eventually, it becomes common place and the magic seems to fade. That can happen with life as well. That is why children seem much happier than adults. How do we get that magic back in our life and our relationships? One word – gratitude.

When you stop to appreciate even the smallest things in life, you begin to see the magic in them. When I stop to really appreciate that sip of coffee at 4am, trust me when I tell you I can see the magic in that. Same with my relationship with my love. When I pause to appreciate all of the little things about her, it creates magic between us. When was the last time you paused and let your partner know that you appreciate something about them? Take a second, look them in the eyes, and say “I just wanted to let you know how grateful I am that you ____.” Think of how you would feel if they did that to you? The more you offer genuine appreciation, the more magic you create. Just make sure it is always genuine.

This is EXACTLY the same way it works for life. Stuck in traffic? Say out loud, “I am sure grateful that I have a car to be stuck in traffic in.” Happen to catch a glimpse of the sunrise as you are coming in to work, or the sunset as you are coming home? Instead of lamenting about work, try being grateful for the beautiful scene you are witnessing. The more often you offer genuine appreciation for life, the more magical it will become. Again, just be genuine. I would love to hear some of the things you are grateful for. The more we share, the more we can inspire each other.