We left off last week discussing looking at all we have to be grateful for verses all that is wrong. We discussed how to do it with other people. We discussed how to do it with things and situations in our life. Now we are going to discuss one of the most important ways to apply this principle, with ourselves. I was hanging out with a very beautiful friend of mine the other night and out of the blue she says “I am so unattractive right now”. I set down my cup of coffee to try to figure out where this random statement came from. “Why?” was pretty much all I could muster. She went on to explain that she thinks nobody would find her attractive because in the last year she has gained 30 pounds. Now I would have never guessed that to be the case, but taking her at her word I asked her several questions. Do you like your make-up? How is your fashion sense? Do you always shower and try to look nice? With the exception of an occasional roll of the eyes she had to say yes to all of them. Just because we have one flaw does not make us a flawed person. We all have strengths, we all have weaknesses. What seems odd to me is as a culture we seem to address these issues backwards. Focusing all of our energy on our faults as we see them can only lead us to feeling inferior and depressed. Now I am not saying if you do have an issue to work on that you should ignore it, not at all. Work on it, but do not focus on it. We should do our best to focus on our strengths to use the natural skills we have to bring the maximum amount of greatness to the world. As we do we stand the best chance of helping others and our confidence will soar. Knowing how well we can do things will put us in a far better frame to address the concerns we have with the other aspects of our lives. Then when we look in the mirror and see those faults, just as we did with others we will understand it is the situation, not the person we are unhappy with.
Tag: Games
START OUT EASY…
Quite often the hardest thing about starting any project is knowing where to start and those all to important first steps. In fact, one of my biggest stumbling blocks that I am always working to overcome is getting to far ahead of myself and becoming overwhelmed. So where to begin if you find your life to be in a rather dark place? What if you have never made an effort to consciously live a more positive life? Even if you are just looking for a simple basic step to add to everything you already are trying. Remember different things work for different people. Try as many as you can. This next one comes from a very close source…my mother. As we were discussing ways to be more positive she came up with what I think is an easy and straight forward method to help nurture and develop a positive outlook and bring more joy into your life. The complex tools needed for this task? A pocket-size notebook and a pen. The time required for this project? A few seconds every day for about a week. Here is the game plan. Pick a day, any day, be it Monday, or Sunday or Friday. The day only matters as a start and end point. Now the night before you are going to start make sure you have a pen and paper handy. Put it on a table beside your bed, so you see it first thing in the morning. Now upon waking that day grab your pen and paper and put it in your pocket. Throughout the day whenever something good happens to you write it down. It doesn’t have to be an exact description, just enough to remember what it was. “Traffic good on way to work” would do. This is just for your own viewing so as long as you understand it is all that matters. Repeat this throughout the day as you notice anything positive occurring for you no matter how small or silly it may seem at the time. “Heard a joke and it made me laugh” “Coffee tasted really good” If you forget something at the moment or don’t have time that second, write it when you do. There are no rules and the only one seeing this is you. Now before you retire for the evening, review your list. Try and remember the moments and how you felt. This does two things. One, it will probably do wonders for your dreams that evening. Also, it helps us put life in perspective and shift our attention to the positive. So what happens if you only have one or two things that first day? Nothing. That is beautiful. You stopped to appreciate two beautiful moments in your life. Repeat this for about a week. Note what happens. By focusing on the positive things in life, it helps reduce stress and increase joy. Without getting too much into how the law of attraction works, I would say it would be a safe bet that your list will be longer on day 2, then on day one and longer on day 7 then on day 5. Now you will excuse me I need to go buy a pocket-sized notebook
LOSS OF A LOVED ONE
There are times when living a positive life may seem impossible and may even need to be put on hold. When we must walk a balance of supporting others while shouldering our own share of the grief.
One of the most challenging moments we can have in our lives is the loss of a loved one. We look for anything and everything we can to heal the pain. It has been my experience that only time can do that. There are a few things that help keep my spirit going on when faced with such a situation. First, it is to cling to and remind those you are still fortunate enough to have in your life in the physical realm. Remind them how much you love them. Even better if given any opportunity show them. Remember too that it is only in the physical plain that you are separated. I am not here to speak to any after life or what one may believe, but our loved ones always live on in our hearts and in our memories. When my cousin was taken at the young age of 22 a few years ago right before christmas all of the other cousins, including myself and a few others who don’t even smoke, enjoyed one of his favorite cigars in his honor. Well this may sound silly to some I think it helped us all feel a little closer to him. Now, here is something I try to do that also really seems to help. Each one of us brings their own light into the world. I know my grandmother used to be the perfect hostess and loved playing card games with the rest of the family. When she passed away that left a hole in the family. To this day when the family is together I always try to make sure everyone has a cup of coffee or whatever they need. Not to mention I love playing card games with everyone. So be it a game of cards, or a terrific sense of humor, remember when we loose a loved one it is our duty, honor and privilege to let them live on by trying to keep the light they brought to the world burning, both in our hearts and for others to see.
dedicated to my dear friend Lory, you will always be missed and never be forgoten.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 