You never know how much you are loved. Rarely do people convey how much you mean to them. Let us be the change makers in that. Tell people how much they mean to you and why. Then, watch them light up and your relationship with them grow closer. It is these actions that will allow us to change the world in a positive way!
By now everyone should know that I am a big fan of Mr. Rogers. This quote is a great example why. If you were to stop and think about it, the quality of our life is the quality of our relationships. Think of how much your life is turned upside down when there is a level of discord with someone you care about. On the opposite side, when your relationships are going strong, life is all but unstoppable. Think of when you first fall in love. Nothing seems to bother you or is able to bring you down. There is more on how to maintain that feeling in my upcoming book.
This post is about the blessing that Margie and I have about discovering and maintaining some amazing relationships. This post is actually about one of those relationships in particular. During our time as DJs, we meet a wide array of people. Being the setting that takes place in, most of those relationships do not go much beyond that interaction. Lately, there are, as we are fortunate to have, relationships that blossom into more. People that life puts in your path at the right time and for the right reasons. This is about two of those people – Tanya and Montell.
My only recollection of the first time they came to one of our shows was Margie asking them, “Can we keep you?” Not only are they both very talented singers, but we could just tell they were amazing people as well. Little did we know how right you are. Let us start with Tanya, as it is always gentlemanly to let the lady go first. Tanya has a voice that just won’t quit. It is powerful but full of soul and emotion. Everyone gets excited when she walks in because they know that they are in for a great performance. Being a phenomenal singer is one thing, but in my estimation, that is not the best thing about Tanya.
They were kind enough to invite us over to their house to celebrate Labor Day with them last year. Tanya was the perfect hostess. Their family and friends they had over were all so kind and welcoming. One of the things that we enjoy most about Tanya is the way she can share a story. She uses the perfect blend of honesty and emotion. Her sense of humor and laughter is contagious. In a world where people can show you the side of themselves they think you want to see, Tanya is brave enough to show you her true self. That is so refreshing. She also encourages everyone around her. With her talent it could be tempting to look down on those who may struggle to carry a tune in a bucket. Not Tanya. She encourages them, sings with them and makes them feel welcome, like they belong.
Reading the words above, you might find yourself saying, “That Tanya sure sounds like an amazing woman.” You would be right. It might even be intimidating to be with such an amazing lady, if you were not equally as amazing. That leads us to Tanya’s husband, and I am honored to say our friend, Montell. Let us begin by discussing his ability in the vocal arena. Montell can sing just about any genre. Not only can he do it, but he does it extremely well. More than just vocals, he gets everyone involved. If you are not having a good time while he is singing, he will encourage you until you do. Trust me when I tell you with his enthusiasm and energy, it is very difficult to not be in an amazing mood. Much like his wife, people get excited when they see Montell walk in because they know he is going to lift their spirits.
If I had to pick one word to describe Montell, it would be generous. For simple starters, every time I see this young man, he offers me a beer. We happen to drink the same beer. The fact that he remembered that and brings me over one is very kind indeed. That is not the sole reason that I choose that word for this gentleman. I mentioned earlier how they were kind enough to invite Margie and I over. His generosity with sharing his talent when it comes to preparing amazing food still has my mouth watering when I think of it. On the microphone and in the kitchen are not the only two places this man is both talented and generous. Montell is also one of the kindest and most compassionate men that I have met in a very long time. You can see the care he exhibits toward everyone he meets. What’s more, is that when you talk to Montell you can just tell you are really being heard. In a world where everyone is trying to be heard, having someone who can truly listen is a gift beyond words. He is a kind soul, an example of what a good man should be. It would be a crime not to mention he is one of the most fashionable gents I know as well!
Margie and I are so blessed to know this loving and fabulous couple. They are great singers and performers, that is true. What is more important to us is they are also great parents to their children, great lovers to each other, great friends to all they meet, but most importantly, they are great people that the world needs more of. Today also is Montell’s birthday so Margie and I would like to send a special message of good wishes and good health on his special day. I share this story with you to both show you there still are amazing people in the world and to remind you to count your blessings of true friends. It is a gift not everyone experiences. Margie and I certainly count ourselves blessed that we know Tanya and Montell.
Fred Rogers is one of my favorite sources of inspiration. Many of you know that already. I have never heard this quote before, but it only serves as an example of why I enjoy the man’s ideas so much. Think of all the people you have met that have made a difference in your life. This even holds true for people you have reconnected with after a long time. They can add so much joy into your life and help you grow and discover new things about yourself you have never known.
Margie and I DJ every Sunday. It is not my favorite thing to do as I am not really a bar person and work early Monday morning. However, we have met and became friends with some wonderful people. There are great couples like Ron and Deb, Montell and Tanya, Rise and Ron and Chris and Nicci. This is but a mere sample of them. We have become good friends with the bartender Kelly. There is an older gentle who goes by Melvis that always puts a smile on our faces. Our friend Sara is so generous with her kindness and help we always appreciate her. So many people that do sweet things for us and with us that if I mentioned them all it would take several posts.
This is just one example of an area in which we have made lasting connections. In my day job working for the Postal Service, I have made wonderful connections at each location I have worked at. Some of which we still gather with on federal holidays for lunch. I have friends from childhood. My friend Matt I have known since we were 7. A few years back, I reconnected with my friend Kevin who I have been friends with since we were both 4! Even Jenny, my friend who cuts my hair, I have been friends with for over 3 decades. Each one of these people has made my life a blessing and helped me discover some new and wonderful things about myself.
There are the unexpected connections that can have the greatest impact. While I was working as a bartender I was connected with this amazing lady. Not only have we been blissfully in love for 10 years, but we are going to get married in the hopefully not too distant future. You never know when a connection will transform your life and send it in a completely different direction. Be grateful for all of your connections. If treated and fostered correctly, they are what make life feel like heaven.
This post was inspired during the amazing dinner that Margie and my mother put together to help celebrate 1000 blogs on this site. Our good friend, Ron Perez, looked around the table and told me something that in its simplicity, was yet profound. He said, “Neil, all you need is good friends and good food.” He was right. I could not have been happier than I was that night. No amount of fame or fortune could have done it. No amount of monetary reward. People often trip over some of the greatest treasure on their way to look for it.
Having a good group of friends and being able to share some good food, is something far too many of us in the world are not able to do. In fact, having a strong social circle and good friends is one of the most determining factors in longevity. This according to the Blue Zone book that examined the lives of the longest living people and what they had in common. Mr. Perez’s statement was quite the wise one and backed up by science.
Many folks spend a great deal of their time and energy investing in obtaining wealth and prestige. If you were to obtain such things and sacrifice your relationships to do so, you would still be poor. Something about friends – money cannot buy true ones. It is something that has to be fostered and grown with time. It takes trust, honesty, love, compassion and many other things that money or fame could not buy. On the opposite end of the spectrum, if you lack money but still have a great deal of true friends, you are wealthier than you can imagine. Not only are they able to help you, be that financial or connecting you to opportunities, but they will encourage and support you emotionally.
I am still reeling from the outpouring of love that I received at that surprise dinner the other night. That made me feel like the wealthiest person in the world! By our definition, I believe that I am. In your life, keep it simple. Invest in the things that truly matter. Take care of those who take care of you. Spend your time and money building friendships and helping others. The payout will be far better than any winning lottery ticket you could come across. To me, my friends and family are the greatest treasure.
It is indeed a great gift to let someone know how much you appreciate them being in your life. How often do we do this? You deserve the great feeling of making someone feel appreciated. If we are being honest, we all have quirks that can make us a challenge to be around on any given day. Myself included. Therefore, our true friends deserve the feeling of appreciation for all they do, and all they put up with.
The cool thing about making people feel appreciated is that it is a win/win situation. As we described above, you both get that feel good emotions, but there is even more. In today’s world of technology, the ways you can convey this message are endless. You can of course get together for dinner or a cup of coffee and convey it personally. That is the most heartfelt. If this feels a bit awkward at first, there are a million other options.
You can send someone a text. Maybe a message on social media? You could even post something on their social media page so everyone knows how much you appreciate them. One of the most unique ways is to send them a greeting card in the mail. For the price of that cup of coffee, you can purchase a card and stamp and send them some well wishes. The great thing about sending a message this way is that it is there in black and white. They can review it over and over again. Bringing joy to their hearts several times.
Is there someone in your life you really appreciate? How could you tell them? You could even choose multiple options. You could also send appreciation to several people. This practice will dramatically improve your life and theirs! Again, it is a win/win situation.
Last post we talked about sending out messages of love and encouragement. Many people asked the same question, “Neil, I would love to send out a message, but what do I say?“ It seems we are not used to sending out messages like this. It may even seem awkward at first. With practice, it will become easier and your words will become more impactful.
Back to the original question. What do we say in a message of love and encouragement? A good start is to ask yourself what would make you happy to hear from a friend. A safe bet is always gratitude and appreciation. Telling someone how much they mean to you and why is one of the best messages you can deliver.
Above are some examples of inspiring messages you could send. These are just to get you thinking. They can be tailored to your specific person. Another fun idea is to reflect on a fun memory the two of you share. It could be a vacation you took together, a nice dinner you shared or simply a cup of coffee and conversation you enjoyed. Positively reflecting on that could be enjoyable for both of you.
How about you? Do you have any suggestions on good messages to send? By sharing our ideas with each other we inspire a revolution of love and encouragement!
Isn’t it great when you receive some good news first thing in the morning? Maybe it is a phone call from a friend? A text from a loved one, or a greeting card in the mail? With modern technology, coupled with old-fashioned ideas, there are so many ways to send love.
Why bother sending love? In a world that seems to get crazier by the minute, sending someone some loving thoughts becomes a gift greater than ever. When you are sending thoughts to encourage, uplift and inspire someone, you are strengthening that relationship. Can you imagine how your life would change if you would send out one loving thought a day? That would be 365 loving messages in a year!
Sending love can take a few seconds if it is a text, to a few minutes for a phone call or a greeting card. I suggest picking up a pack of cards and a book of stamps so you are prepared when the mood strikes. You will spend less then a half hour doing this in a week, yet you will drastically improve both your life and that of the recipient.
In my upcoming fourth book, I go into greater detail about how to do this and the benefits you will receive. I would love to hear about ways you send out love. Who knows, they may even make it into my next book! This week, try sending out at least one loving message a day of one kind or another. See the change it makes.
Do you want to stand out in your relationships? Do you want to be the one that makes those in your life smile? I think we all do. In order to stand out from everyone else, you have to do something different from everyone else. That makes sense doesn’t it? This doesn’t have to be dramatic or expensive to have a powerful impact. I’m going to show you how to become a significant player in the life of those you care about while making them feel amazing. Better yet, I’ll show you how to do this for $2 in just a few minutes. Are you on board?
Today is national “send a friend a greeting card day” Yes, I didn’t know it existed either. “Neil, nobody sends greeting cards anymore!” That is exactly the point! By taking a few minutes to write down some encouraging or inspiring thoughts in a greeting card and making it to a friend, you stand out. How would you feel checking the mail and finding a card from a friend telling you how awesome you are and how grateful they are for you? Pretty good, I would imagine.
It doesn’t have to even be a fancy expensive greeting card. They sell cards at the dollar store. It is the thoughts behind it and the uniqueness of the action. Imagine doing this for one friend a month,or even one friend a week! Think of how much your relationships could improve with the simple power of a greeting card?
A little rusty on writing out greeting cards? Do you want some practice? Our address here at Secret2anamazinglife.com can be found below.
P.O. BOX 333
Oak Creek WI 53154 USA
Today’s post will feature a deep dive into an answer to a question I posed to several friends and associates. The question was, “What, in your opinion, makes for a truly fulfilling life?” We will take a deeper dive into the answer featured in today’s post. This includes looking at how we can implement their ideas for fulfillment into our own life. This will allow all of us to wake up with a greater sense of inner peace and joy. If these answers inspire you, and you would like to share your own feeling on what makes life fulfilling, feel free to do so in the comments below. You could be featured in a future post or in my next book! Now let us take a look at today’s answer!
Today’s answer comes from a great friend of Margie and myself. Nicci is an art teacher, a dedicated and loving mother to 2 very talented daughters and a great singer. With all that she has on her plate, it is vital for Nicci to be able to know what gives her a sense of life fulfillment. Nicci’s answer was as follows.
A network of genuine friends who inspire, encourage, and support you no matter what makes life worthwhile. I love my people so much and they are the biggest blessing in my life. This of course includes you and Margie.
There are so many things we can gain from looking at Nicci’s answer. It is important to note that she places the word ‘genuine’ in front of friends. In a world that can see our connections limited to superficial ones, especially after Covid, having friends that are genuine and know the real us is priceless. Her definition of genuine friends is also included in her answer. “People who inspire, encourage and support you…” Fair weather friends can be a source of stress and not one of fulfillment. Fostering genuine friendships require a little work and often a willingness to be open and vulnerable. This can, understandably, be scary for some. The reward is a support system that can catch you when you fall in life. It can be those to encourage you when you feel like you can’t go on. They can bring you that source of inspiration when your life is caught in a rut. All of these will lead to a life that is certainly more fulfilling.
How do we establish and grow genuine friendships? Ironically, this is a skill we are actually better at as children than adults. If you look at the quote above, it states true friendship involves being understood and understanding. The first quality is to understand that life is both give and take. To gain a genuine friend is to be one. We must not enter a friendship thinking only what we can gain, but what we can give as well. As mentioned earlier, we must also be open to being vulnerable. This can be scary at first. Sharing our inner most thoughts and feelings. What if this person chooses to use them against us? What if they laugh, or think us crazy? This is why it is easier for children to make friends. They don’t really seem all that concerned about this happening. The truth is, neither should you. Yes, some people may hurt you and use things you tell them against you. That speaks more about them than about you at all. It is also a good way to weed out who is worth being a genuine friend and who is best left with a surface relation. A safe way is to share a little at a time. Slowly deepening the friendship.
Why do you think genuine friendship can lead to a fulfilling life? It certainly can. We have only touched on but a few of the benefits. What are the benefits of friendship that mean the most to you? How do you go about creating genuine friendships along with keeping the ones you have? Feel free to share all of your answers and ideas in the comments below. We would love to hear them!
This past Saturday, I attended a funeral for the mother of a gent I used to hang around with in the neighborhood many years ago. We had lost touch after his family had moved away when we were still young. It turns out that he manages a bakery not far from where I live. One that my mother likes to frequent quite often. As is the case in these situations, I wondered if this gentleman would even remember me. After our first introduction, I wasn’t clear if he recalled who I was. Understandable considering the stress of losing someone so close and how many years it had been. My purpose for being there was just to offer support and letting him know how many people care.
A few moments later, I was sitting having some of the snacks they had put out discussing things with my mother. She had known the family as well and went with me. As we were discussing the days gone by, my friend walked up to our table. “Do you know what I feel my children will never have that we had?” He inquired. I indicated that I did not know where he was going with this. “Having friends to just hang around with in the neighborhood.” He went on to mention another gent we often shared time with and things we did. It seemed to me that who I was might have dawned on him in the time since the introduction.
We went on to discuss how today’s kids spend a good deal more time online instead of in person. We undoubtedly sounded like two old men. The more I pondered the change in social interaction over the last few years, the more it astounds me. The sense of adventure that can be had taking your bicycle out with a few friends cannot be replicated online. Covid threw a further wrench into our ability to socially interact. This is not to say “Things were better back in my day.” We discussed how the internet and social media can keep us connected in ways that would have been impossible back in our day. He used the example of his wife discovering a ‘mom group’ that allowed her to connect with other mothers in the neighborhood. In this way technology can make face to face interaction easier. The trick is not to allow social media to replace face to face interactions all together.
I walked away thankful I could offer support to a friend in a very dark time. I was also grateful for the lessons and thoughts he shared with me. We must work to make sure that the generations to come still have a chance to explore with friends. As adults, we must make sure to blend in person social interaction with online interaction. We must also learn to treasure friendships that last throughout the years.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 