Tag: focus

SO YOU THINK YOU ARE GRATEFUL? 🙏

This is an interesting thought. So many people are talking about gratitude and its power to change life. What is ironic is that most people have an interesting definition of what gratitude really is. This was brought home when I was listening to the audiobook, The Magic by Rhonda Byrne the other morning. She said how if people asked her years ago if she was a grateful person she would have told them that she was. Her justification for that answer is that she always thanked people for a gift, or for opening the door for her. When we speak of gratitude here, or when you hear about the power of gratitude, it is far more than that.

Despite what we may have been told growing up, or even what we think currently, thanking people when they do nice things for us is not living gratefully. It is actually just really good manners. There is nothing wrong with that. If we want to discover the true power of gratitude, it has to involve more than that. True gratitude cannot be conditional. A few posts back we discussed how I was choosing to focus on what I had to be grateful for in my life despite the challenges I have currently been experiencing. In doing so, it has help me feel good and enjoy my life so much more. That is the power of gratitude.

How about you? Are you only grateful when conditions give you something to be grateful for? Here is a secret. There is always a condition to be grateful for. Gratitude, like much of life, is a decision. When you want to feel grateful, just look around. There are so many things in our life that we take for granted that we should be so grateful for. Our health for one. Going to work on a Monday morning can be tough, but doing so with a cold is even tougher. We can dread work or be thankful we do not have to deal with a cold while working. Things like sanitation, communication, entertainment choices we have, clean water, a place to live and a million other things. One of the best ways to appreciate things you take for granted is to have them taken away from you. It is rare you will hear someone who used to be homeless complaining about the color of their kitchen walls.

Even in the terrible situation of losing something, we can be grateful that it is bringing to our attention things we might have taken for granted. Even that is something to be grateful for. Here is another secret to an amazing life. Feeling grateful feels amazing! The more we feel grateful, the better the quality of our life will be. Do yourself a favor and start to work on developing an attitude of gratitude today!

IT IS ALWAYS AVAILABLE 🤔

This picture reminds me of a couple of things. First is the fact that for the first time in 4 years, Margie and I will not be going on a nice tropical vacation. Saving for a wedding will do that. Second, and most important for our time together today, is the power behind focus. These people are on the same bus, yet they are focused on two very different scenes. That focus will go a long way to determining the quality of their journey. The same is true in our life. That is why the power of gratitude, and developing an attitude of gratitude is so important.

In my own life, this could not be more true right now. My 2025 has started with these events. My grandmother on my father’s side passed away. Then, I dislocated my shoulder. Shortly there after I got an ear infection. Recently, my younger cousin on my mother’s side passed away. Nobody even knew she was sick. Yesterday, I found out my aunt on my father’s side passed away. All that and it is only February. Not quite the start to the year I would have chosen, but here we are. I could focus on all of this and start to predict what a miserable year I was having. If we looked at the facts, I could be excused for thinking and saying so.

While all of those above facts are true, here is some other things that are true as well. With the passing of my one cousin, I have reconnected with another cousin. I was able to purchase a new car which has made not going on vacation a little more tolerable. My health has rebounded and with therapy I am getting better every day. My beautiful lady and I continue to make progress planning our wedding for next year. Finally, there are words typed out to start the fourth book I have been working on for years. With any luck, it will even be published later this year. These facts are also true and are what I am deciding to focus on.

This is not me being ignorant to the fact that there is a good amount of challenging circumstances that have occurred in my life so far this year. It is just that I am choosing to focus on the ones that reflect all the blessings and good fortune I am grateful enough to have. I am choosing to be like our friend in the bus looking out the window. Yes, it is a choice. What wrong is always available. What right is also available to focus on as well.

Some may view that as ‘sticking your head in the sand’ or ‘looking at the world through rose-colored glasses’. As if it were somehow cheating hardship. The opposite is the truth. It takes more work to look for and focus on the positive. Especially when there can be so much negativity and chaos occurring around you. Being able to say confidently, “Despite all I may be going through, I sure have a lot to be grateful for.” takes a lot of courage and resilience.

Remember the axiom, “Where focus goes, energy flows.” What we focus on determines how we feel. How we feel determines the quality of our lives.

FOCUS ON HEALING IN 2025 🥗

There are several examples of this that we can look at. In 2024 we may have been hurt. We might have been knocked down. None of this could have been our fault. What we must focus on in the new year is what is our responsibility. That is our healing. There is a Latin phrase Amor Fati. It means the love of one’s fate. What we should strive for in the new year is accept what our situation is and learn how to make the best of it. We might not be where we want to be, but we must be honest about where we are. Not quite a best-selling author just yet? Good. You have a chance to learn more about the wonderful world of book marketing. Perhaps your blog that is followed in over 200 countries is still not in Greenland? Great! There is still room to expand and goals to reach. These examples are purely hypothetical of course.

The point of all of this is to say that we must not curse our fate, but learn how we can improve it. Change our focus from our hurt to our healing. That is how we will make the best of the coming year. 365 days from now we can look back and be grateful for the healing we have experienced. We may still have hurt, we may still have struggle. By changing our focus from hurt to healing, we will be well on the path to inner peace and a more fulfilling life in 2025.

AND NOW…A PERSONAL EXAMPLE 🙄

A few posts back we talked about how your mindset can turn a hell into a heaven and the other way around. It would seem that life sought to provide me a personal example. My 2024 Toyota Rav 4 already has a bad sensor that needed to be replaced. They informed me when I made the appointment it would take roughly 30 minutes and I could wait. So, after my 10 hour work day I made my way to the dealer. Upon arrival, I was told it would now be a 2 hour affair as they had to check other parts as well.

A few things come to mind here. Of course after a 10 hour workday I could easily be irritated about having to wait 4 times as long as I was told. I could have brought a book or some other form of entertainment. I could have arranged a ride to go home and come back when it was done. All of this would be legitimate to think and feel. It would also lead to an unhappy and stressful evening.

Instead, I am going to look at and use this time constructively. I shall avail myself to the available coffee and snacks. I will use my cell phone to write this very blog you are reading now. Most importantly, I shall focus on the fact that I am so grateful to have the vehicle I do.

Both of these sets of facts are true. They both also come with an entirely different set of feelings. Would it be better if I had my laptop? Sure. It is far easier to write on that. Am I grateful that I can still write on my phone? Absolutely!

Life is full of choices. One of the most important is what we choose to focus on. As you can see, the difference can be between feeling stressed and feeling grateful. That may not seem like a big deal in the course of an evening. If you put enough of those evenings together, it is the difference between a negative and stressful life, or one where you choose to focus on gratitude and opportunities.

YOUR ENERGY IS YOUR CURRENCY 💶

Have you ever read a great deal of negative news, or perhaps been a part of a very negative conversation? One so negative that you actually felt exhausted when it was over? That is because you have spent a great deal of your most valuable currency foolishly. We only have so much mental, emotional and spiritual energy. It can vary from day to day. Just like you have more physical energy on some days than you do on others. Maybe you didn’t sleep well? Maybe you have a physically exhausting job to tackle. The next day you may have gotten sleep, had an extra cup of coffee and are ready to go!

The same can be said for our emotional and spiritual energy as well. We only have a finite amount of it every day. Are we going to waste it on the negative news of the day? The sad part is that often we waste so much of our energy on the unfulfilling, that we are ‘energy bankrupt’ and unable to afford to give any attention to things that would fill our hearts with joy.

Mastering our attention does not mean being ignorant to the fact there are challenges in life. It is deciding how much of our energy and/ focus currency we are going to spend on them. It would be a good idea to use the 80/20 principle here. Spend 20% of our attention on the problem. Defining it clearly. Then, spend the remaining 80% of the time on possible solutions. It would be a great idea to start every morning giving our attention to something that feeds our soul. Read something from your faith. Find an inspirational website, such as the one you are currently reading. Begin each day giving attention to something positive. It would also be wise to devote your last bit of energy before sleep to something positive as well. This again could be reading something positive. It could also be keeping a gratitude journal, meditation or a host of other things. You will not only sleep more peacefully, you will wake up with more positive energy for the following day.

Think of this as you go throughout your day. Remind yourself you only have so much energy and focus currency. Ask yourself, “Is this really what I want to be spending my emotional currency on?” If not, acknowledge the issue and move along to something that makes your heart happier.

1 RABBIT OR 2? 🐇

Before some well-meaning reader reminds me, I am fully aware that I used this quote in a post not long ago. No, I am not getting lazy on my mission to post inspiring content for 1000 days straight ( this is day 855) I am posting this quote again because this came up in conversation the other day. One of the wonderful things about having conversations in the self-improvement field is that there is always so much to learn. Even after over 2 decades in the field, I benefit tremendously by staying humble and keeping an open mind. The moment you think you know it all is the moment you cannot learn anything else.

Case in point, this quote. When I wrote about it last time, I used the example of someone who is multitasking. This is a great example as to why that is not a good idea. When we picture someone, even ourselves, trying to chase two rabbits at the same time, the visual is pretty hilarious. That is always how I viewed this quote. The person I was speaking with reminded me of the flipside. “I think it means that when you focus, you are more likely to ‘catch the rabbit'” they said.

What a great way of looking at this quote. It is a reminder of the power of focus, and the penalty of the lack of focus. Working together we had come to this conclusion! There were so many lessons to take away from this. If I had acted as if I knew everything there was to know in the self-improvement industry (which is impossible) than I would not have been open to hearing his great interpretation of this quote. If I had been stuck in my way of thinking I may not have rejoiced in seeing his. Working together we more than doubled the knowledge we took from this inspirational quote.

Keep your mind open and stay humble. Do not forget the power of focus and the penalty for not focusing. Remember, if we chase too many ‘rabbits’ at once we will catch none of them.

NOW OR MOST? 🤔

Today is Monday and there is a brand new week ahead of us! It is not only full of opportunities, but it is full of decisions as well. One of the greatest decisions we make daily, if not hourly, is the decision on what to focus on. Are we focused on our immediate pleasures? What feels good in the moment. Those doughnuts in the breakroom sure look tasty and they are there for the taking. Almost an insult to whoever brought them in if we don’t eat them.

Another path is to be focused on where we want to go and who we want to become. Then the thought of eating one of those delicious doughnuts becomes an insult to both our bodies and our goals and aspirations. It is not often as easy, or black and white, as the doughnut example. Sometimes it is whether or not to participate in that office gossip. Whether we continue to work when nobody is watching or do we scroll online for a little while. Even what we choose to focus our thoughts on. Do we dwell on what is going wrong in our lives, or are we grateful for what we have?

This battle between what we want now and what we want most is a battle that never ends. This may sound tiring and defeating, but it also means we have endless opportunities to win. Every decision we make that overcomes our desire for immediate pleasure for the good of who we wish to become or accomplish in the long term should be viewed as a victory. Which are you choosing at the moment?

IT IS GOOD TO HAVE AN END TO JOURNEY TOWARD 🛫

Today, let us remember to focus on enjoying the journey. The goal is certainly worth keeping in mind, but 80% of the time will be spent on the journey. This is actually a conservative estimate. If this is the case, we owe it to ourselves to find a way to have as much fun during the process. After all, it doesn’t make much sense to be happy only 20% of the time?

How do we accomplish this goal? Two words – focus and adjustment. We can adjust how we go about accomplishing the goal. Say we are trying to get for, but hate going to the gym. We can adjust. Maybe start going for hikes? Dusting off that bicycle in the garage. Maybe there is a pool we could swim at? The point is all of these will help us start getting fit and be a lot more enjoyable.

What happens when you can’t adjust? Maybe you need to get better at saving, but you really miss having Amazon visit your house more than your family? Switch your focus. Instead of being sad that you no longer get packages, focus on how good you will feel when you will get your financial situation in order. Focus on your bank account not draining as quickly.

Here is another thing to ponder. The more we enjoy the journey, the more likely we are to reach the destination! That should be motivation enough. Share any tips you have on enjoying the journey in the comments below!

WHERE ARE YOU GOING? 🗺

As the workweek winds down, many of us are looking forward to the weekend. The question is, what are you going to be focused on? One of the keys to living a positive and rewarding life is to focus on where you are going. Most of us focus on what is at hand. This is certainly helpful as we need to address what is going on at the moment. A few of us are focused on the past. What trauma we may have undergone or situations we have went through. This has its benefits as it helps us realize why we take the actions we take. How many of us are really focused on where we are going? This helps us to better focus on using the past to our advantage as well as what actions to take in the present. Why? The actions we take today will shape our tomorrow. If we do not think about where we would like to go, how do we know what direction to face and what actions would be the correct ones to take?

I like to think of it like driving. While driving, they advise you to look in your rearview mirror every 8 seconds. That is a good ratio to focus on our past. More often you need to focus on what is going on around you at the moment. This helps us know what actions to take to keep us moving along our journey. Should we turn right now? Will that be the best route to get where we need to go? We also need to look out our windshield 6 out of those 8 seconds (the other one I would suggest to check your speed and gages) This allows us to see what is in the immediate future. Is there a red light coming up? Do we need to begin to slow down? Does the street end? Is there a driver that looks like they may not stop at the red light? How many blocks until that turn?

This whole time we have to have our destination in mind. This will tell us what actions to take in the present. If you do not know where you are going, what is the point of getting in your car and driving? Same with life. If we do not have a destination, it is like getting in our car and taking random left and rights. We will get somewhere, but it will not be a destination of our own choosing. Even if we encounter road construction or a detour, which ca be compared to obstacles in our life, we will make adjustments and still proceed on our way to our destination. If we know where we are going, these may slow us down but they will not stop us.

DOING THIS RUINS YOUR PRODUCTIVITY 👷‍♂️

When I was growing up, multi-tasking was the ‘in’ thing to do. Sadly, there is nothing that ruins productivity more. Firstly, you can’t truly work on multiple tasks at the same time. Our brains are not wired for that. Even if I had 2 computers going at the same time, I could not write both my books and my blogs at the same time. They would end up coming out in a language that does not even exist. If I were to write a book for 5 minutes, then switch to my blog writing computer and let us throw in running over to my microphone to add an episode to the Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. What kind of quality content do you think I would be putting out? It would be garbage. I would be chasing 2, or in this case 3, rabbits and end up catching none.

A far better course of action is to become laser-focused on one activity, finish it and become focused on the next. Do you know how long it takes the brain, on average, to regain focus? The answer is 23 minutes. Now, if we are constantly switching from one task to another we are never fully in focus on any one of them. In the end, this will cost us both time and productivity. Just at the point where we are getting in focus and our brains are adjusting to the task we are working on, we switch gears. This makes little to no sense. Let us look at an even better example.

I like trees, and I hope none are harmed in the reading of this post, but the point should be pretty clear. When we are multi-tasking, we are hitting that tree in a 1000 different places. When we are focusing our efforts and hitting that tree 1000 times in the same spot, we will accomplish our goal in a far quicker time. Think of this next time you want to work on a million projects at the same time.

Let us begin to train our focus to work on one thing at a time. We will not only use our brains to their greatest potential, we will accomplish a lot more and do it in a far shorter amount of time. By developing this habit, we will make the coming year the most productive, and a lot less stressful, year that we have had in a long time.