It’s Monday. Often, a tough day for many of us. What we need is tools and strategies that can give us that extra boost we need. This can be a motivational Playlist, affirmations taped on our mirror, pictures of loved ones or anything else that works for you.
Ideally, these should be put together when we are in a good state. That way we can think more rationally. What is your motivational tools and strategies? Share with all of us so we may have more at our disposal
The week is drawing to a close. Our thoughts may be drifting on our plans for the weekend. The focus we started the week with may have been replaced by the countless fires that cropped up that needing attending to. We may have been lulled into distraction by the many entertainment options offered to us after a hard days work. It is at this very point that we need to take a step back, a deep breath and refocus. While work can demand a great deal of our attention during the week, we cannot sacrifice our quest for self-improvement, our desire to become the best version of ourselves and live a positive and rewarding life.
This picture reminds us of the cost of not remaining focused. While we may have said we were committed to eating healthy during the week, time may have us grabbing that Big Mac. Thinking we are spending 4 dollars, when really we are giving away a piece of our health. Same with binge watching Netflix for hours instead of completing that project. The stress of still having to do it, along with the knowledge that we are not as self-disciplined as we should be. Have we read, researched or even listened to something motivational and inspirational online or did we just scroll to see what betty and Jim happen to be posting on Social Media?
It is Thursday and a lot of us are starting to get warn out from the work week. I get that. Take some time for self-care and recharging the battery. We need that to give us the energy to push forward. What we cannot afford to do, is become slaves to the distractions that seek to deprive us of the rich and rewarding life that we all deserve. Take some time to relax and enjoy life. Just remember to keep working towards the bigger picture of the life we desire and deserve. Everything is better when you earn it.
Reaching the life we desire can seem like a long, complicated and difficult road. It should not be. How to be successful is not a great mystery. In fact, it can be accomplished with just 3 words. We will take them one at a time to show you how you can go from the life you have to the life you love quicker than you ever thought possible. If you would like to expand on these ideas, I would suggest grabbing one of my books off Amazon. I will put the link at the end of this post.
The first word is mindset. If there is anything that determines the success or failure of an endeavor, it is the attitude in which it is begun. If you know that there will be challenges and you are prepared to meet them and keep your head up, you are far more likely to succeed than someone who considers every obstacle a closed door. There are many great secrets to improving your mindset. Again, some are included in my book, Living the Dream. There is a whole section on developing a champions mindset. Wherever you find the tools and strategies that work for you, keep learning and developing your mindset.
Bruce Lee brings us our second word – focus. I heard an analogy that really makes it clear. If you hit a tree with an ax in a thousand different places, not much will happen. If, however, you hit that same tree a thousand times in the same place, you will cut down that tree. This can be applied to both our goals and obstacles in life. If we stay focused and apply action in a focused nature, we will achieve them. If we act randomly on several different goals, bouncing from one to another, we will achieve very little if anything at all. As the saying goes, if you try to chase two rabbits at the same time, you will not catch any. This is why multi-tasking is such a fallacy. You would be far better to apply all of your effort towards a single goal and moving on to the next one.
Our third and final key to the life you desire is consistency. Nothing is more frustrating than feeling like we are working forever on a goal and it is no nearer than when we started. As so often is the case, this can best be demonstrated in the realm of fitness. We feel like we have been working out forever and still we resemble that loveable man on the biscuit container. If we are honest with ourselves, we will find the missing key is consistency. We workout on Saturday when we have slept in and had a good breakfast. Monday comes and we are not about to get up early. After our first day of the work week is done, we are feeling exhausted and certainly not up for a workout. One day won’t make a difference, right? Tuesday we have to catch up on all of our errands we were too tired to do on Monday. Here is Hump day, Wednesday, we may pop in the gym for a little workout after work, but don’t have the energy we used to. Friday comes and we have so many social obligations, we just don’t have time for the gym. Next week we will do better we say. Perhaps we do. If we continue in this up down fashion, we are unlikely to see any real results. We must do the actions consistently. This is also helped by having a determined mindset and being focused on achieving the result. As you see, they all go hand in hand.
When it comes to your life, apply these three words to whatever goal you are after and you will be amazed with how quick you will see it materialize. Mindset, focus and consistency are the three keys that will unlock any door. What door are you looking to open and how can you apply these three keys to get there?
So many books, movies and philosophies are concerned with the meaning of life. I guess it is good to ponder the direction one’s life is going. Do you know what is infinitely better? Creating it!
This weekend, if you haven’t already, take some time to get clear as to what the meaning of your life is going to be. This doesn’t matter if you are 18 or 80. As the saying goes, “The best time to plant a tree was 20 years ago. The second best time is today. ”
Getting clear, for the first time perhaps, as to what the purpose of your life is, will have amazing benefits! Stress will be reduced. Energy will be increased. Indecision will be a thing of the past. You will have a definite idea of what is right and wrong for your life. Most importantly, you will be able to decipher if you are going in the right direction or not. If not, you will be able to take corrective actions.
With all of these benefits, and more, isn’t spending some time deciding what the purpose of your life worth it? In fact, it is worth its weight in gold!
Because there are a lot of things to read in this picture, I’ll keep this post short. Earl Nightingale once gave us a list of things we worry about. I’ll give you the percentages here. Things that never happen – 40% Things over and done with that can’t be changed by all the worry in the world – 30%. Needless worries about our health – 12%. Petty miscellaneous worries – 10%. Real, legitimate worries – 8%.
You can see, out of everything we worry about, a full 92% are not worth spending, or should I say wasting, our energy on. Of the 8% that are legitimate, only 4% are things we have control over. Let’s focus on that. Anything else is just a waste of our precious energy.
When asked to describe me, I always find it interesting to hear what words people choose. I am always hoping for dashing, handsome, charming. Instead, I often hear words like calm, laid back and relaxed. Not the description of the gent on the cover of a romance novel, but not bad either. Usually, after giving such a review, I am asked the same question. It is usually some version of, “How do you remain that calm?” The answer is a simple one – I only give my emotions to that which is truly important to me. This is easy to understand, but to many, almost impossible to do.
This usually generates the follow up question, “How can you do that?” One of the ways I do that is to remind myself of how I used to be. Those who let other people and situations control them are putting control of their life at the mercy of others. You must ask yourself, “Do you want to control your life, or do you want others to?” If you are reading a blog dedicated to living an amazing life, my guess is you want to be in control over your own life. When we live in reaction, that is the opposite of what we are doing. I know. I used to live that way. It can leave you feeling like a ship in the ocean without a rudder. There is no way to steer your life and you are at the mercy of the wind and the waves.
It is important to understand that the same holds true of your own emotions. When you let yourself react to life and those in it, you are a slave to your emotions. They own you. People often tell me things like, “Neil, I can’t help if that is how things/people make me feel.” I get it. Life, and the people in it, are often less than ideal. That is an eloquent way of saying they can sometimes suck. While they have the freedom to act as awful as they please, what they don’t have the power to do is to make you feel any way other than how you choose to let them. This may sound difficult, but it really isn’t. Controlling our emotions can be done by understanding how they are formulated in the first place. What you feel is determined primarily by 2 factors. What you focus on, and what you decide it means.
Yes that person may have called you a racial slur or some insulting name. Are you going to focus on their ignorance or your truth? What does it mean to you? Does it mean the world is full of hatred? Does it mean you are less than? Does it mean that you have an opportunity to demonstrate a positive example for your race and make this person look foolish? Does it mean this person is serving as an emotional trainer to help you strengthen your compassion for the less-enlightened? That is also an eloquent way of saying having pity for the ignorant and stupid. There is nothing that infuriates someone trying to upset you than not allowing it. Not to mention, not getting upset about that which does not matter greatly reduces your own stress.
You will certainly be faced with situations in which you need to be emotionally involved. There are situations that disrupt your spirit and upset you. I was once told that the most important decision in fighting a battle, is whether it is worth fighting in the first place. You must ask yourself the same thing when you find yourself at the mercy of your own emotions. It is a fool who wastes his time trying to master others. The true power is learning to master yourself and your own emotions. That is the secret to my calm. That is a secret to an amazing life.
Here is a quick reminder. Keep your focus on where your are going, not what you have to overcome to get there. By focusing on the end goal, your journey feels like…well…a journey. When you focus on each obstacle, life can feel like an endless series of obstacles. It can destroy motivation. Keeping your focus on the the prize can give you that little boost of passion and excitement that comes in handy when things seem darkest.
I suggest using as many senses and reminders of your end goal as you can. Have a picture somewhere you see regularly. Create an affirmation that fires you up emotionally. Have it printed out in several locations. Read it when you are feeling your motivation start to slip. Write out what your typical day will be like after your goal is reached. Read that several times a week to keep the image sharp in your mind. These tools will keep you focused on where you are going and the obstacles will just become part of the journey.
What methods do you use to stay focused on your goals? Share with us so we can all expand our ability to succeed.
We have discussed this many times before. This is not only the key to the Law of Attraction, there is real science behind it. Using the part of the brain called the reticular activating system, which filters what the brain deems important, makes all of the difference in the world. Anecdotally, we see it when we buy a new car or outfit, and suddenly see many people with the same car or outfit. It is just what your brain decided was important.
If we know this happens with cars and outfits, why do we not take advantage of it for more important things? When I urge people to focus on what they have to be grateful for, or what is positive in their lives, this is the reason why. It is not being ignorant to what may not be going well. Indeed, we can use that to better clarify what it is we do want. What it does do for us is reveal more and more things that we have to be grateful for or that are a positive in our lives. It also works in reverse. Every have a bad day at work and when you come home you notice every little annoying thing that your spouse does? Normally, these wouldn’t even bother you. Perhaps you even snap at them when they don’t deserve it? How about if you have a disagreement with your spouse before work? How is the day at the office going to be that way? Productive? Singing kumbaya with your coworkers? I would imagine not.
Enough doom and gloom here. Let us practice thinking positive! What happens when your partner starts the day by showing you a loving gesture? You go into work and don’t even mind if the boss is yelling all day. You are just looking forward to coming home to more of that loving feeling. Maybe you have a great day and work and a relaxing drive home? Then if your spouse seems to be a little more sunshine challenged than you, it might bother you as much. You might even be able to lift them up as well. Why? You were feeling good.
Take having a good start to the day. Maybe you get a hug from that special someone? Maybe your dog snuggles up to you with a cute look on their face? Maybe you just had the perfect cup of coffee? Whatever it is, you leave the house with a smile on your face. You start to drive to work and notice songs you like on the radio. Oh, and what is that new little place to eat that you have never tried? Wow, the trees sure are a pretty shade of green. This may all sound a bit silly, but it is really how our brain works. The crazy thing is that we leave this up to chance most of the time. I did a video on my YouTube channel a few years ago called “Waking up in neutral” We need to act more in life, and react less. Set a determination to have a good day. Read something positive and inspiring. Recite some empowering affirmations. Have your happy playlist set to go. Whatever it takes. Start your day on a positive note and commit to staying focused on the positive. Life will feel like magic.
To the more cynical of you, this notion of expecting something wonderful to happen may sound ridiculous. I can hear your voices as I type this, “Even if I do, life will still be the same.” or “Life won’t change just because I am expecting it to.” I would have to agree with both of those statements. Life happens. Flat tires happen. Turning off your alarm while you are still half asleep happens. Going to Starbucks and finding they are out of coffee happens. (this actually happened to me and I share the story in my first book) If life will not change when we alter our expectations, then why do it? That is a very fair and legitimate question. Life will not change – but our experience of life will.
When we choose to expect, and therefore focus on, the positive, that is what we see. When you are expecting something wonderful to happen, you will be better able to notice when it does. Here is the truth – almost everything that happens in our lives can be something good. We get a flat tire? We might be late, but it will give us a forced opportunity to slow down. It will give us a chance to practice our tire changing skills. Maybe it will provide us a chance to use that roadside assistance we pay for. A cavity, as painful and inconvenient as it can be, is a great reminder to take care of our teeth.
Life is not all about finding the good in the struggles. In fact, life if full of miracles! Most of them we never notice. The fact that we can use a device that fits in our pocket to serve as an alarm clock to wake us up, a source of news to keep us informed, a music player to lift our spirits, a GPS system to get us where we are going, a camera to take pictures of where we are going and a platform to tell people around the world where we have been is a miracle. How about the wind? We can use it to power our cities. It can tell us when our neighbors are grilling out. It can further our appreciation of a beautiful flower. How about our ability to communicate and encourage others, even if they are half a world away? I always enjoy my communication with my friend in Italy. He provides valuable feedback on these very posts.
The fact that our bodies can turn food, water and air into energy, thoughts and motion. It is not only a chemical process, it is nothing short of a miracle. The happy dog we see in the car next to us. The smile from a stranger, or even better yet, from someone we love. The ability to taste the food we love. The joy that comes from hearing our favorite song. The feeling of love we get when someone hugs us. You may say I am choosing to look at the world through rose-colored glasses. You may be right, but does that make any of those statements less true? How would looking at all of those things as the miracles they truly are make you feel? What if you spent an afternoon, or even an entire day, trying to spot and appreciate everything good in your life? How would you feel at the end of the day?
The cynical are right that none of this would change the world. Here is the powerful secret to an amazing life – it would change the world for you! By taking control of our focus, we have the ability to create our world. Every day something wonderful does happen to us. What happens on the days we miss it? Will there be days when we feel nothing wonderful happened? Yes, we will still have bad days. We are human. When we chose to focus on, and expect, the wonderful, those bad days will be the exception and not the rule. In my third book, I ended it with a quote from Einstein. I think it sums up what we have been discussing here today. I invite you to read and ponder it. I also invite you to take me up on that challenge of trying to find everything positive you can for an afternoon, or even an entire day.
Look at the picture above. You can see the difference in perspective. Both men find themselves locked up in prison. One can see only the bars and what is holding him prisoner. The other focuses on the beauty right outside their cell.
Most pessimists, or even realist, as they sometimes prefer to call themselves will point out this does not change the fact that both men are still in jail. That is true. Let us take a look at what both men are experiencing.
First the man painting the bars. He undoubtedly is focused on what is holding him back. This will have him feeling oppressed and depressed. He is venting this thoughts by creating a painting and visual reminder of the same. This will further expand his feelings and make his sentence and more arduous one.
Next, the man who painted the nature scene. He is focused on the beauty he can see even if it is not directly in his environment. Although stuck in a cell he is thinking of the birds, the trees and the sunshine. He is creating a work of art that can help take him there mentally.
Even if they stay in jail for the same amount of time, whose prison sentence do you think we be worse? It is the same with us and life. Are you focused on what is holding you back? Are you constantly talking or posting on social media about it? How does that make you feel? Maybe you are like the second fellow and focused on the beauty of life even if it is just outside your current reality. Thinking about that tropical vacation or cool new sports car, even though they are not yours yet. How does that make you feel?
The difference in the quality of our lives is more greatly determined by our internal feelings than our external situations. Focus on where true change comes from.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 