This is a good thought. Every situation does not always serve us in the same way. For example, at my day job I have been working 55 hours a week for the last year. Certainly nice money, but had me burnt out. Now, they hired a coworker for me. It will be a lot less money, but I will be able to focus more on my writing and fitness more.
I could have cursed the fact for the last year I have not been able to spend as much time with Margie as I wanted, or I could have used the extra money to save for our wedding and pay off my car. Conversely, I could lament the fact that I will be earning a lot less or celebrate all the extra time I will be afforded.
Keep this thought in your head. “What is wrong is always available. But so it’s what’s right. ” There is always a sunny side of the street. You can find it when you practice an attitude of gratitude. I always tell people, “If you can’t find something to be grateful for, you aren’t trying very hard. ” Even being able to read these words means you have the gift of vision, access to the internet, and the freedom to view what interests you. We are followed in over 200 countries, but if you live in North Korea, you would not be able to view us.
The above example listed 3 or 4 things you could be grateful for. In any situation there is always something to be grateful for. Sometimes you have to search hard. Most times you do not. So don’t curse the seasons or your situation. Instead, plant and act accordingly. Remember, what is wrong is always available, but so is what’s right.
I wrote extensively about what I referred to as “sunshine-challed” people and their negative effect on your life in my first 2 books. There were also tips on how to avoid, or at the very least limit your exposure to these people. As the world gets even busier, our energy is more important than ever.
Why is energy so important? Without enough energy we certainly cannot get all of the things we wanted to get to in life completed. It gets worse than that. Low energy long enough changes our mentality from one of thriving, to one of survival. The reason this is a big deal is that eliminates our zest for living. Who wants to go through life feeling like it is a job? Not me I say!
The solution is to surround yourself with people who feel like a miracle. Ones who fill your soul with not only energy, but hope and passion. You can never have too many of these people in your life. When you find one, make sure to hang on to them!
How do we make sure that we hang onto people who are Miracles in our life? The answer is simple – look to become a miracle in the lives of others. It really is not as difficult as it sounds. In a world that throws a lot of negativity at us, try being a light. Reminding those we care about why they are amazing and what they have to be grateful for is a miracle in itself. If you do this often, people will start showing up for you in much the same manner!
Do you want to surround yourself with what Bob Marley called ’emotional vampires’ or people who are living miracles? Which one are you going to be?
How true this photo is. I’ve been guilty of this myself more than I care to admit. Especially this time of year. The holidays are over, it is cold and dreary out and I’m just wishing for sun, warmth and fun. Still, there is plenty of joy to miss if you are just wishing and waiting.
There are moments my mom and I get together at a warm coffee shop for some great conversation. Of course there is more snuggling with the love of my life. There is a lot to be grateful for. The struggles of life make the rewards that much sweeter. Imagine if your whole life was just sitting on the beach enjoying the sound of the waves. Go ahead, Imagine it. I do several times a day. After a while you might take that for granted. One day of going to work with a windchill of -12° and you will be right back appreciatingit.
For this very reason, we soups also appreciate the things we are trying to ‘make it through’ to get to the good stuff. They are what make the good stuff… well… good. We spend 80% of our lives on the journey and 20% at the destination. Why throw away 80% to get to the 20%? Especially when it is the journey thatmakes the destination so exciting to get to.
Starting now, keep looking forward to 5pm, look forward to the weekend and whatever else you are working towards. At the same time, be grateful for the journey that makes it worth while. Don’t forget to notice all the joy contained in that as well. Hopefully, I’ll see you on the beach soon!
A few posts back we talked about how your mindset can turn a hell into a heaven and the other way around. It would seem that life sought to provide me a personal example. My 2024 Toyota Rav 4already has a bad sensor that needed to be replaced. They informed me when I made the appointment it would take roughly 30 minutes and I could wait. So, after my 10 hour work day I made my way to the dealer. Upon arrival, Iwas told it would now be a 2 hour affair as they had to check other parts as well.
A few things come to mind here. Of course after a 10 hour workday I could easily be irritated about having to wait 4 times as long as I was told. I could have brought a book or some other form of entertainment. I could have arranged a ride to go home and come back when it was done. All of this would be legitimate to think and feel. It would also lead to anunhappy and stressful evening.
Instead, I am going to look at and use this time constructively. I shall avail myself to the available coffee and snacks. I will use my cell phone to write this very blog you are reading now. Most importantly, I shall focus on the fact that I am so grateful to have the vehicleI do.
Both of these sets of facts are true. They both also come with an entirely different set of feelings. Would it be better if I had my laptop? Sure. It is far easier to write on that. Am I grateful that I can still write on my phone? Absolutely!
Life is full of choices. One of the most important is what we choose to focus on. As you can see, the difference can be between feeling stressed and feeling grateful. That may not seem like a big deal in the course of an evening. If you put enough of those evenings together, it is the difference between a negative and stressful life, or one where you choose to focus on gratitude and opportunities.
When I grabbed this quote, I liked many things about it. It is very close to what we discussed a few posts ago how your mind and body do not have to be in the same place at the same time. Before we get into the actual quote, I have to share something about it. What made me laugh after further inspection was where this quote came from. When I was a senior in high school, I did not do well at English class. As mentioned in my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People, my teacher even told me, “I pray to God you will never have a career in writing.” At the time it was a fair assessment. Three books and over twenty five hundred blog posts later, maybe not so much. One of the reasons the teacher thought this way is my lack of appreciation of classic literature. When I read something, I like to be able to enjoy it and not search for what it is supposed to mean. Give me the story straight I say. The story that stands out the most in this regard? You guessed it, Paradise Lost. The very story today’s quote comes from.
Now that we have had some humorous back story, let us look at the quote itself. The very first part I find intriguing. “The mind is its own place…” How many of us stop and think of the mind that way? Many things only exist in the mind. Fear is a great example. It is created by, and exists solely in the mind. Many of the stresses in our lives reside between our own two ears. The mind has its own dialogue. As Mr. Milton goes on to explain, “…and in itself, can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” What this means to me is that the mind we bring to a situation goes a long way to determine the quality of the situation.
This is the reason that you can see two people in exactly the same situation, but one is happy and one is miserable. One place I see this a lot is at the gym. Some people working out there look miserable. Some are lifting weights with smiles on their faces. If you stopped and focused on everything you have to do to get to the gym and get a workout, coupled with how sore you might feel after, it would be a pretty miserable experience. You also wouldn’t show up that often, or for that long. If you were to change that focus and realize that every rep of weights and every step of cardio are getting you that much closer to being the healthy person you are working to become, you would be motivated to keep pushing on.
This holds true in any situation in life. At a funeral for example. We can think about the regret of moments lost or never pursued. It will expand the pain and make the feelings of hurt and loss that much greater. We could also focus on the fond memories we have with the dearly departed and ponder ways in which we will honor their memory. This may very well help ease the pain and may even see a smile cross our face as we think about a silly or happy memory.
Switching focus is a great way to control what kind of place the mind is, a heaven or a hell. When I find myself in particularly trying situations, I ask how I can use that to serve others. This obviously does not change my circumstances, but it certainly changes the person I bring to them. Finding ways to bring happiness and gratitude to any situation can turn a hell into a heaven. I would love to hear your secrets for making your mind a positive place to be.
A simple choice to smile when you wake up may not seem like much. Done repetitively, it can become a lifestyle! What do you do first thing when you wake up? Go to the bathroom? Pour a cup of coffee? Many of us reach for our phones. That is about the worst thing you can do! Exposing yourself to outside influences before you have had an opportunity to determine and set your own mood is simply dangerous.
When you smile, and i would add feeling one thing you’re grateful for, YOU set the tone for your day. A simple affirmationsuch as, “No matter what happens today, I will make the best of it and keep smiling.” May sound silly at first. Done for a month and it becomes who you are.
Don’t you deserve to determine your attitude towards your own life? I believe you do. The question is, do you?
I do not believe Mr. Whitman is advocating staring at the fiery ball in the sky. Not only would that be extremely bad for your vision, it would not end with an amazing life. What we are talking about here is something that we could all use a reminder of. That is staying focused on the positive outcome of the situation that you are facing. That is to say, the goal accomplished. When you do this, the challenges and obstacles, or shadows in this example, do fall behind you. They are still there, but you are not letting them overwhelm you.
What happens when we turn our back from the sun, or the forget to focus on the positive outcome of our situation? We end up looking at the shadows. This is just like the people who are constantly focused on everything that could go wrong. When you turn away from the light and stare at the shadows, the world appears to be a very dark place. If, however, you turn around and focus on the light, it seems like a much more enjoyable world. For all of you ‘realists’ out there, let me point out that the world itself has not changed. There is still light and shadows. What difference does it make what we focus on then? How life feels to us is the difference. If you asked someone if they would want to go through life feeling overwhelmed, depressed and negative, or would you want to feel happy, hopeful and positive? I am sure most of you would answer the second option. The tricky part is that our minds are naturally designed to focus on the negative. How can we overcome that?
There is only one way to do that. Work on our perception about the world. Most people spend a good amount of time and energy trying to control outside circumstances. I equate this to not liking what you see in the mirror and trying to change the image without changing the person looking into it. When we focus on ourselves, what we see in the world, just like what we see in the mirror, will change.
There are a couple of very useful tools that can help you improve your outlook. One of them, and in my opinion the most powerful, is gratitude. Finding things to be grateful for can do so many amazing things for you. It certainly can help you see more of the sun and less of the shadows. It can always be worse, and there is always something to be grateful for. Another is visualizing the best outcome. Spending just five minutes a day visualizing how you would want a situation to turn out as not only helps you gain clarity on what you want, but it also helps fill your subconscious mind with the solution.
Start doing your best to keep looking at the sun and leaving the shadows behind you. Use the tools and strategies we discussed here. What do you do to help keep a sunny disposition in a world all too often filled with shadows? Put your answers in the comments and let us all help each other!
Welcome to Wednesday! One of my favorite days of the week. Also the one I have the hardest time spelling. Today we remember, uplift and encourage one another. This quote above is a great reminder of the power we have over our own situation. Most people spend their energy trying to control what happens to them. This can be slightly beneficial, but it is important to note that we have little or no control over events in our lives. What we have complete control over is ourselves.
This is another great example of the 80/20 principle. We should spend about 20% of our efforts on affecting the events around us and 80% on our attitude and mentality. Whether we view an event as a obstacle or an opportunity will not change the event. What it will change is the actions we take, and thus, our quality of life. It is the glass half full or half empty argument. One will see life as a constant struggle and full of lack. Can you imagine how it would feel to go through life like that? The other will view life with gratitude and a feeling of potential and abundance. How would that feel? Same situations, and entirely different life.
When people ask how important attitude is to your quality of life, I ask them how important granite is to the Himalayas. (Ok, I stole this quote from Earl Nightingale) Attitude truly is everything, as the saying goes. The pessimist, and even those calling themselves realists, may say that this does not change the facts of life. I would counter that they are 100% correct. What it does change is the quality and enjoyment we receive in life. Is attitude important? I don’t know. How important for you is the quality and enjoyment you receive out of your life? We should put less effort worried about things we can’t control and more effort towards improving our attitude.
Confused by today’s title? It really is as simple as the quote above. Let us be honest with each other here. The week is ending. The month is drawing to a close. Even the year is almost over. Many people think that with a month left to go, it is a little late to make any grand improvements. Here is the truth about improvements, especially self-improvements, they all start with a single moment. Yes, the may take days, months or even years to complete, but they all start with a single decision. It all starts to change when we finally say “Enough!” or “Now is the time!” The end of our rope is the location for many of our best beginnings.
One of the most profound changes we can make is our own attitude. It is our attitude at the onset of a project that most determines its outcome, as William James mentioned. We can think of how this may be true. If we begin a project with the belief that it will not work, how hard will we look for solutions to the challenges that may arrive along the way? Not very hard I would imagine. If we are determined to get in better shape, how many options will we be willing to explore? The net worth of the weight loss industry is estimated to be 72.6 billion. That is people trying a lot of options. How well any will succeed depends a great deal on the attitude of the person attempting them.
With one month left in the year, there is no greater area we can work on improving than our own attitude. We will have bad days. Many circumstances are out of our control. What is completely in our control is our attitude. The better our attitude, the better our chances of success in life. The worse our attitude, the worse our chances for success will be. This is not limited to just one area of our life either. Our attitude crosses over and touches every aspect of our life. This makes it one of the most important areas of study and improvement we can make. Why not work on entering the new year with a new, and improved, attitude?
With so many crazy events in our world, and more to the point in our life, we can often be left with feeling that we have a lack of control. To a certain extent that is true. Realizing a lot of what we worry about, and get upset about, is beyond our control. We cannot worry about what politicians do. We cannot worry about what criminals do. In fact, we cannot even worry about what other people do. Even the ones closest to us. Right now, I have grave concern about what the weather does. Do you know what I do not have? Any control over it.
Here is two things we do have control of. We control our attitude and our efforts. I am not a fan of cold and snow. What I should be focused on in not only my attitude during this tough stretch of weather, but my efforts in keeping my spirits up. In many places where this blog is read, there are far greater concerns. There are wars going on. There is corrupt government. There is extreme heat and extreme poverty. We have to be concerned about these things. We also have to be concerned about our fellow humans going through them.
In the midst of all this craziness, we must fully understand that we cannot control them. We must check in and ask ourselves, “How is my attitude? Am I determining it, or am I letting outside circumstances and people do it for me?” Then, focus on the other side of the coin. Ask yourself, “How are my efforts?” Are you just complaining the boss isn’t letting you get ahead, or are you studying and pursuing other opportunities on the side? Are you complaining about the corrupt politicians or are you doing something to change that? It could be as simple as voting, or as complex as running for office yourself.
A quick note. Complaining about things without taking any action to correct them does not count. Not only is it really a lack of effort, but it shows a bad attitude as well. Our attitude is often the most important factor in any situation. Our attitude at the beginning of a task goes a long way into determining the outcome of the situation. Do you know what else it will affect? Our effort. That is why Earl Nightingale called ‘attitude’ the most important word. They are both under our complete control. If there is an area of your life that feels like it could use some work, make sure to check on your attitude and efforts first. Only you can change them.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 