WHY GIVE AWAY YOUR CONTROL AND POWER?!

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Last post we looked at what not to do in life. There were 3 things to avoid which gave us three things to do. If you missed that post I highly recommend you take a look at it. The second of the things to avoid on that list was ‘Blame others for your problems’. I told you that I would tell you the dreadful thing that it does for you. Here is the thing, when you point the finger at others realize in addition to saying “It is your fault” You are also saying “you control me”.

What do I mean by this? If someone angers you it is because you decided to let that happen. The only person who is responsible for your emotions is you. If a complete stranger walked up to you on the street and said “I do not like you” it would not make you feel good, but you would probably just shrug it off and keep going. If a good friend of yours walked up and told you the same thing it may be crushing. Same thing on the positive side. If a complete stranger tells you that they find you attractive it will make you feel good for sure, but if the person you have been with for years tells you “You still take my breath away every time I look at you” That can certainly have more of an impact. Why is this? Because even though the words and the actions are the same you decided one means more than the other.

Same goes with blame. If it is another person’s fault that you failed or have problems, then what control do you have over fixing them? In any situation we have played some role. We also can determine that others actions will not stop us. Sure they can delay or sidetrack us, but then it is up to us to work harder, stay determined and not fail. Same with success. If we are eager to assign blame, what about credit? How likely are you to say about your recent life victory “Well really it wasn’t me, I had nothing to do with it”? You do not want to give someone else the credit for all of your hard work, so do not let them take the blame for your problems. When you accept your role in the negative things that happen in your life it tends to be liberating. You have a sense of control and with control comes a feeling of hope. If you got yourself into the mess, you can get yourself out. If you point the finger at others and say it is there fault you feel different. There is almost a sense of helplessness or at the very least a lack of control. If they caused this problem in your life, what is to say they won’t do it again? They might even cause some other problem in your life. What about all the other people in the world? Could they cause problems for you?

So here is the takeaway, assume responsibility for your problems and then set about to correct them. Notice the sense of freedom and control you feel. In fact, in every issue try to find something that was your fault. This may seem counter productive, but trust me it will lead to a feeling of more self control and power over your own life.

This is my take on life. I would love to hear how this works in your life as well as any other issues you would like to discuss here. If you enjoyed this please like/share/comment to your heart’s content.

WHAT NOT TO DO!

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I love this post because it points out something very important, there is a recipe for both success and failure. If you do the three things mentioned above life will suck, period. Number one, complain about everything, does little to change anything for the better. What it does do is put our focus on what is not working. This in itself is not a bad thing, we need to focus on what is not working in order to be able to correct it. However, complaining is seldom if ever solution oriented. It is actually totally useless. In fact, it is worse than totally useless. When you complain for a long period of time you are thinking and vocalizing what is wrong in your life, with the world, or with someone else you think should be living differently. You leave the conversation feeling worse than when you started. As for anyone who is listening to you they also feel worse and very well may look to avoid conversations with you in the future. This would only add to the negative and thus, life would suck more

Number two, blaming others for your problems we will deal with in the next post. What we can say about it here is that it often leads to number one. It also contributes to number three. Worse it does something that makes you feel even worse, but again we will discuss that tomorrow.

Number three, never be grateful, is a joy killer. When you fail to appreciate what you have in life, that leaves you to focus on what you do not have. How does this leave you feeling? Like your life is a state of lack. You always feel that your life is missing something. That also would suck.

So at the risk of this sounding negative this post also gives us the recipe for success. How? In the face of every negative situation, there is the seed of a positive one. In this case just do the opposite of those three. Reduce the amount of complaining you do and focus on what is going right and how to solve what is not working. Accept responsibility for your role in your life’s problems, and always, always find something to be grateful for. Those are the three ways to succeed in life.

If you found this read helpful or inspiring please feel free to share/like and comment. Tell all your friends about secret2anamazinglife.com Let us all work together to make the work a more positive place.

YOU DECIDE WHAT IT MEANS!!!

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I’m VERY excited to be writing this post. This is a picture that my lady posted on Facebook. I fell in love with it right away, much like I did with her. Here is the powerful thing about this, it points out a very important thing that many of us do not utilize. We can control what things in life mean to us. What it is often perceived as a negative experience can often be the greatest of all lessons and motivate us further. If you look at words they have a powerful impact on how we feel. When someone says you ‘FAIL’ it makes us feel bad, but if you ask any successful person they suggest you should embrace failure. Why? because when you fail, you are getting one step closer to succeeding. In fact, if we never fail, we would never learn anything. We would never grow. If we change our definition to “first attempt at learning” we can better understand how it can help us grow.

‘END’ is another word that can make us feel down. A job comes to an end, we can feel like we did something wrong. Only if we give up. If we change our definition to “effort never dies” it encourages us to keep going. So next time we are told we have come to an end, let us not accept that. If that door closes, let us go on looking for another which may very well open up into a room full of new opportunities that we may never have encountered.

How about when we have been pushing and doing our best and someone tells us ‘NO’? We must not accept that as a final word. In my own life I have faced many ‘NOs’. Each one has had me feel let down. From now on, thanks to my beautiful Margie, I will understand that is just means “Next opportunity”. In my professional career I have been pushed to new jobs, new people and new gifts and talents I would not have discovered had I not lost the position that I had previously. In my personal life, a lot of ‘FAIL’ ‘END’ and ‘NO’ has changed my life for the better more than anything else.

If you like this as much as I did, thank Margie and feel free to like/comment/share with others!

Watch “A NEW WAY TO PICK YOUR POSSE” on YouTube

My latest video with insights that could change your life for the better!

Watch “SUPPORT FROM BEHIND THE CAMERA…” on YouTube

My lady finally makes an on camera appearance and talks about life with Neil!

Watch “INSIDE THE MIND OF NEIL (watch at your own risk)” on YouTube

Get to know yours truly via an interview done at my home. Worth watching!

Watch “WHY I WORK SO HARD” on YouTube

Become motivated! This video shares some powerful ideas

WHY YOU SHOULD BE KIND AND NOT AN ASS

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This post was inspired while having lunch with my lady, my friend Gail and her son. Gail was mentioning how people routinely come up to her and mention certain things she has done that have really touched them. If you were to ever meet Gail you would find this easy to believe as she has a very good energy and spirit about her. The funny thing is the same thing happens to my lovely Margie and myself quite often. Just last night a gentleman thanked Margie for making him get out and be social. People often remember me as the “Friendly guy from the post office”. Sometimes things end up a little more intense. Considering the kind of work I am involved in there are occasions when tools I have passed on, or just different ways to look at the world have inspired people and helped them take the actions necessary to turn their lives around.

It always reminds me of the importance of being kind. You never know when what you say, be it a kind word or an inspiring idea that can have a great impact on their lives. You never know if someone may be going through a challenge we know nothing about. What you say may inspire them to follow their dreams and become a blessing to so many others. Imagine what the world would be like if Einstein never pursued his passion? Being Jewish in the World War two era he could have easily just become bitter and walked away. You have heard me mention Walt Disney who was rejected by over 300 bankers before being approved for a loan for Disneyland. In addition to strong personal power I believe these people must have had a person or two who inspired them along the way. Einstein himself said that he used to say “thank you” over 100 times a day.

So what about the second half of the title of this post? The reason why you should watch what you say especially in times of great emotional upset is this, you never know who is listening. You could shatter someone’s dream and they may give up and never go on to bring their gifts to the world. We may lost the next Walt Disney, or the next great doctor, scientist or author. Your seemingly foolish comment may give someone a complex for the rest of their lives, or worse push them over the edge in a battle they have been fighting.

So the point is this, use kind words and encouragement often, and do your best to swallow your criticism and angry words. If you wish to encourage more people feel free to like/share and comment on this post. Together we can turn the world into a better place for all.

CHANGE…IT’S A GOOD THING!

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I hear a lot of people complaining about change.  Last post we talked about the importance of learning.  Today we are going to discuss why you need to keep changing and why that is a good thing. When I hear people who say they dislike change or who are even afraid of change I feel compelled to ask them why. The answers fall into a category something like “I just wish everything would stay like it was” or they tend to focus on things in the world that have changed for the worse.

I will tackle the first argument this way. Ok, if things never changed I would love for you to ride a horse to work today. When you get there try using a computer that would only store so much data before you had to remove one of those floppy disks and start over. I even remember having to wait for nights and weekends because they were cheaper to use on my cell phone. Medical treatments have certainly become more advanced. I don’t think any of us would want to check into a hospital where they are using medical practices from the dark ages.

So what about the second point that change can often bring about negative results? That is always true to some extent. We mentioned the medical field before. While new knowledge there has saved countless lives I think the new ‘pill pushing’ paradigm is the wrong way to go. Still I wouldn’t sacrifice the knowledge gained. This was brought home by a conversation I had with a coworker at my job at the post office. “I don’t use the internet. All they have on there is porn and other garbage. I have lived this long without it, I don’t need it now”. On one had he is right. There is a lot of garbage on the internet and a fair amount of adult entertainment, or at least that is what I heard. Still this man is an avid bicyclist and could learn a great deal about that. There are also search engines for any questions you may have. YouTube videos that show you everything from preparing your dish, to secrets to improving your life. The latter of which can be found on my channel under “Neil Panosian”. My point here is this, if we look at the negative side of change it becomes something to fear at the most extreme or at the very least something unpleasant at best. If we focus on everything we gain from change it becomes something far more encouraging.

If you know someone who fears change feel free to share this with them. In fact, feel free to share this post with anyone and everyone. If there is any issue you would like addressed in this blog feel free to list your question in the comments and it could be featured in an upcoming post.

Watch “RESOLUTIONS FAIL…UNLESS” on YouTube

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My latest YouTube video.  Great way to stick with your resolutions and accomplish them with greater ease and less effort