TIME TO CELEBRATE!

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Today is one of my favorite days. Not only is it the first day of spring, it also happens to be international day of happiness. Yes, there is indeed such a holiday.  So two quick things for you.  First, in honor of spring, look again at your goals for the year. What would you like to grow in your life? Is there any renewal you want to do? Use today to start.

Second,in honor of international day of happiness, find and do something that makes you happy. Talk to someone you love, read a good book. Personally I recommend A Happy Life for Busy People maybe even watch a movie that makes you smile. The best thing to do today? Spread happiness whatever you go. Be a light in a world that can often be dark and cold. Remind others of their happiness.

Please feel free to like/share/comment on this post.  Thank you

WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU GOING?

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The question in the title of title of this post is what we are going to think about today.  If you were to approach a ships captain in a harbor and ask his next port of call he could tell you in one sentence. Now at the moment the captain cannot see his destination, nor can he forsee the challenges of the journey to get there. Still he knows where he is going and can picture it in his minds eye. He also knows if there are challenges such as weather he will make adjustments to his heading and continue on. It is even worse for an airline pilot. They are of course a full 80% of the time! Making constant slight adjustments they arrive most of the time on time.

What is the point of all this? The reason why both people can arrive safely and on time is simple – they know where they are going. Do you know where your life is going? What is your life’s destination? Quite often people are afraid to think of one, or to set a goal. Why? They are afraid. Afraid of failure. Much like our two people above your course will take detour after detour. Still without a port of call in mind your journey can often feel hopeless and senseless. A ship or aircraft would never set out and say “who knows where we are going, but let’s hope we end up somewhere nice”. The odds say they would both end up in tragedy. Would you get on a plane that did not list where it was going? Of course you wouldn’t! Still this is what most of us do with our lives. Sure we have wishes and things we want, but know concrete goals or destination. So take some minutes today and sit down with a pen and paper. Write down what you want your life to become. Who you wish to become as a person. List every detail. Then look at that list at least weekly. If you find you are failing or seeming to be drifting off course,that’s great!  At least you know and can make adjustments. Your life will have direction. You will feel as though you have a purpose. When someone asks you where your next port of call is you can answer them in just one sentence.

Feel free to share your goals in the comments below.  Also feel free to like and share this posts with others. It is always more fun to be around others with goals.

MASTERMIND

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My bio was recently posted on the West Allis library Facebook page for the Wisconsin authors festival event I am going to do next Saturday.  Feel free to stop by, check it out and comment if you like.

https://m.facebook.com/story.php?story_fbid=793830877388460&substory_index=0&id=326342164137336

I am so excited to do this. One of the reasons is being around like-minded people. One of the keys to success I believe is finding and associating with at least one other person who is traveling the same road you are. Our friends and family can be great sources of support and encouragement, but it is my opinion you should have someone on the professional path you are on. My lovely lady in the picture above is amazing in so many ways. At the event above we were not as busy as we had hoped, but not only did she keep my spirits up, she also was great company. She is also very creative and in business for herself. We recently had a great conversation about small projects verses big projects. I am working on my next book and the difference in writing that verses writing these blog posts is interesting. We discussed the difference for her in making specialty cupcakes verses creating someone’s wedding cake. The challenges on bigger projects and the stress that goes with them is greater, but the reward and sense of building something great is also greater.

As awesome as this conversation was, and to be honest how pretty much all of ours have been, writing is an area she cannot 100% relate to. Interestingly enough we are going to do a project together and that very well may change, but for the time being writing a book is something she has not done. Interestingly enough we met some of her former coworkers for coffee and they discussed crafts, creating scarfs and hats for homeless people out of piles of yarn. Something yours truly will never be able to do. Which is ok. We can both relate to each other about creating projects, but I think it is wonderful that we both have people to discuss details with that neither of us can fully understand. I think having that balance is important and vital to success. So today begin to form your ‘mastermind group’. Include a mix of people who both support you personally and can relate to you professionally. You will be glad you did.

Watch “THE LATEST AND GREATEST SOURCE OF INSPIRATION” on YouTube

A great man, and another great source of inspiration

Watch “THE SAME THING THREE DIFFERENT WAYS” on YouTube

Why it is important to have 3 people doing the same positive thing

Watch “LETTING YOURSELF DOWN…NOW WHAT?” on YouTube

What to do when you don’t meet your own standard

Watch “CREATE AN EVENT!” on YouTube

Another video ‘classic’ filmed this past summer

Watch “ANOTHER SECRET WEAPON FOR YOU” on YouTube

This was a video filmed in one of my favorite secluded spots as my poor lovely lady was being eaten alive by mosquitos

TAKE A BITE OUT OF LIFE!

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What is this a picture of? Some of you may say it is a picture of a sandwich with a bite out of it. True, but not exactly. It is much more than that. Let me tell you what this picture symbolizes. First, a little background on the picture. It is indeed a sandwich, in a plastic bag with a bite out of it. My lovely lady made me this sandwich to take to my day job which is with the United States Postal Service. She had it put in a bag along with a few other items.

Ok, so I know what must be on your mind at this point, why the bite? For those of you sensitive to romantic situations this would be a good time to stop reading. Although we have the great fortune of working together 4 nights a week and spending another working in the same building time apart happens far too often for our liking. This day we had a great morning working out at the gym together, we had went to a winter market a few days before and were just generally enjoying the time we were sharing. So my lady being as sweet as she is decided to help me save some time on my morning routine of getting ready. Which, I must confess often resembles the fury of activity and speed displayed by a Nascar pit crew, by packing me a lunch. That was a very sweet gesture and one that I did appreciate oh so much. Plus, it gave me a healthy alternative to the sugar filled junk in our lunch room.

So what on earth is with the bite already? Ok, here is the romantic thing. We both mentioned how we were having such an enjoyable time with each other that we found it particularly difficult to be apart that day. So after she made my lunch, she took a bite out of my sandwich so I would remember who made it. Ok, so yes it may seem mushy and overly romantic to some of you, but I found it rather cute. The point of all of this is that the littlest of things can mean the most. My mom used to pack me lunches on occasion when I was in school. It was very nice of them in both cases, but my lady went a little further. That little act of silliness and thoughtfulness stuck with me so much I not only took a picture, but I still think of it to this day.

So if you would like to increase the romance and little things in your relationship, feel free to share this with your partner and start thinking of little things you can do for them. You do not need to buy a new car or an expensive gift to have your partner fall in love with you (Although honey, if you are holding out on giving me a new car feel free) all you have to do is show them you thought about them and you care. Feel free to share this with anyone else you know, or on your social media page. Also feel free to leave romantic things that you and your partner do for each other in the comments below so other readers can try them as well.

 

DON’T BE COMFORTABLE!

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Why on earth would I not want someone to be comfortable? Trust me, I am all about comfort. When I get home it is in a warm bed with a nice electric blanket and a perfect pillow! I love sitting on the porch in the sun with a good book and some great coffee. So what on earth am I talking about here? I’ll explain in just a moment, but let me explain how this topic came to be. Last night while bartending on what turned out to be a rather busy night I had some great conversations. One in particular stood out. It was a conversation between myself and my friends Meghan and Bret. Meghan was mentioning to Bret and I how people can get comfortable with the wrong type of environment.

What did she mean by this? Let us consider people in an abusive relationship. They start to get used to the things that happen. How on earth can someone get used to being in such a relationship? It is like the story of a frog. If placed in a kettle of boiling water, the frog will quickly jump out. If, however, the frog is placed in a pot of warm water and the water is slowly brought to a boil the frog will get used to it until it is dead. That is often how we become used to things that are not good for us. If slowly people begin to treat us harshly and then that treatment increases to the state of abuse we may have become so used to it we do not see it for what it is.

Besides being obviously bad for our well-being, it does something that can be far more damaging. When one finally escapes the abusive relationship and finds the good fortune to be loved the way they should they often find it hard to accept. If you are told over and over that you are less than, or no good it may be very difficult to fully realize the beauty that is inside of you. Even when surrounded by people who are angry and emotionally abusive one may have a hard time feeling completely comfortable in a calm and healthy situation. This may sound crazy for those of us who have never went through it, but it really is not.

So what is the takeaway here? If you find yourself in a relationship with someone who used to be abused, understand they may need more time and you may need to exercise a little more patience. They may need more reassurance and it may be difficult for them to accept or believe genuine compliments. Do not get frustrated and realize you are actually working to not only love this person, but heal them as well. If you tend to be the type of person who is prone to anger and saying things you might not mean, remember these can have long-lasting effects. Sometimes taking years to heal and undo.

Lastly, if you are a person who has been in an abusive relationship. This is what you need to know. You are good enough. The actions, words and feelings you suffered through were not your fault, but the action of a person who had not matured enough as a human being. Understand that the people trying to make you feel good are doing so out of love and their care and concern for you. Accepting what they have to say will not only help heal yourself, but make their heart feel good as well.

Please like/share/comment on this post. There are sadly far too many people who need to see this message. People who fill all roles of this tragic situation. Feel free to leave and questions, comments or suggestions you have as well. Let us work together to heal the world.