HOW GOOD IS YOUR VISION?

In yesterday’s post we spoke of vision.  Why is it important?  How do we develop it?  Why bother?  Let us tackle the first question, ‘Why is it important?’  I can best describe this by using a story I heard about two different ships.  On the first one, we pick a destination, map out a course fill it with a capable crew and an outstanding captain.  Now, keeping the destination in front of them nine times out of ten it will get where it sets out to go.  True that along the way the map might need to be adjusted and the crew may need to be replaced, but it will arrive where it was destined to.  Now let us take a second boat, but on this book we will not say where it is going, we will not give them a map.  There will be new crew and therefore no need of a captain.  We will just fire up the engine and let it go.  How far out of the dock do you think that ship will go?  Where will it end up?  This may seem like an extreme example, but ask ten people where there goal is to end up in 5 years, 10 years or even 20.  Then ask then what their plan is for getting to that destination.  Very few will have a concrete, worthwhile goal in mind and even less will have a plan to get there.  There is another, more fun reason to do this.  Rewards.  How, if we don’t know where we are going do we know if we are getting any closer?  Where is the opportunity to pat ourselves on the back for a job well done? Where is the motivation?  Where indeed.

So if this vision is so important, how do we develop one?  Well they come in many definitions.  Companies call them mission statements.  Some people call them goals.  I prefer to just say “Discover your passion and then chase it with all your might”.  If you are chasing a goal you are really passionate about two things happen.  One, it seems more like an adventure then work.  Who doesn’t like a good adventure?  We pay good money to read about them in books and to watch them on the silver screen.  The second thing is obstacles naturally turn into challenges.  We will not anything stop us!  So start your adventure now.  Write down your destination.  Begin to map it out and select your crew to assist you along the way.

YOU ARE A SUPER HERO…YES YOU!!

We have all heard the story a million times.  An ordinary person rises from the ashes to become a hero, saving the day.  It happens almost daily in sports.  We’ve seen it in the movies.  We have read about it in classic literature.  How are these people different from us and what secret weapon do they use?  First the good news, these people are fundamentally no different from you and I.  I say fundamentally because is essence we are all the same, human.  Now it is understood that some people have certain obstacles and some people have certain advantages.  That was discussed in an earlier post.  For the most part however, we basically all start out the same.  Ok, so if we are all the same how come some people rise so above the crowd and some just trudge through life on a daily basis?  Here is the secret.  The heroes among us have two traits that the ‘average’ person does not have, vision and faith.  Now I want you to take a moment and a really think about those two words.  We will approach them separately in the days to come, but for now just think about them.  Vision, we must know where we are going and the end result we are aiming for.  This can be amended as we grow as individuals, but we must have an aiming point to begin.  persistance, as Earl Nightengale once said, is just another word for faith.  If we didn’t have faith we wouldn’t persist.  It is the absolute knowing you are going to arrive where you set your mind to be.  So what about all those times you have set a goal, tried and failed miserably?  Truth is the only true failure is giving up.  If you have faith and suddenly you are confronted with what appears to be a let down, you will know it is either a lesson to be learned or an opportunity to grow stronger.  The best way to describe this would be the stories of two people I consider heroes.

First, my friend Shannon started an online group of people she wished to share her journey towards a healthier lifestyle with.  At first it seemed only she and a few select others would have anything to offer to the group.  Although a bit dismayed, Shannon’s passion and commitment to share what she learned persevered.  Slowly, but surely people began to comment, ask questions and share their experiences.  Personally I have received meal ideas, work out tips and even a few new friends through this group.  In fact, as of the creation of this post I cannot go a day without interacting with someone from that group.  Shannon’s vision in sharing a healthy lifestyle and all its rewards and challenges with her friends has changed the lives of countless people for the better and made her a hero.

Next there is my friend Cari.  She had faced some serious personal challenges.  Some of which would cause a lesser person to give up on living a rewarding life.  Not this lady.  Cari developed a vision of using her struggles to help people going through the same thing.  This sounds easy enough, but how many of us really act on it?  Cari, with the help of her church, formed a class to mentor people.  They announced it, she prepared lessons, and…nobody came.  She found herself a little dismayed, but her faith as to the job put on her by her creator made her dust herself off and try again.  She began simply talking to people, some of them began approaching her asking for advice.  She is currently developing new and amazing ways to inspire and assist people all while still healing her own life.  That, my friends, is a hero.

So develop your vision.  I don’t care if you are 12 or 112! Decide now what it is you would like to do with your life and begin to develop the passion and faith to make a difference.  Truth is, we all have a super hero inside of us. Especially you.

It’s all up to you…

When talking to people about increasing the joy and passion in their lives I often hear such lines as “If I had more money I would be happy” or “I just was born under a lucky star” or even “You don’t understand all the bad things that I grew up with”.  It is no secret some people are born with more resources than others.  More money, more education, a large support network, but these can be just as much of an obstacle as a gift.  Sometimes being raised in such an environment can be as much of an obstacle as an advantage.  How can being born in ‘all the right situations’ be an obstacle you may be thinking.  Being raised with things that others do not have often robs us of that drive for a better life.  That is not to say all people who are blessed with being born in the right circumstances are lazy, quite the contrary.  Circumstances are what we make of them.  For those of you shaking your head, let me give you some proof.  First, let us flip this story around.  What would you predict for a girl born to a 13-year-old single mother?  Let’s say that girl after the age of nine is physically, emotionally and even sexual abused from the age of nine?  What if that same girl finds herself pregnant at the age of 13 as well? Not looking so good is it?  Now let us say this girl leaves her mother to find her father at the age of fourteen and 8 months along, and then shortly after arriving there gives birth to a still-born child.  What would be your prediction for this young lady? Well that event could have destroyed, and rightfully so, any fragile teenage soul, but it only served to galvanize this young lady.  She applied herself in school remained focused on her goals and while being employed as a journalist was offered her own daytime talk show.  You see Oprah Winfrey did not let her circumstances define her.  She knew the life she wanted, and when she couldn’t find it, went out and created it.  So let’s do ourselves a favor and not cater to our present or past situations. Let us not be defined by events we had little or no control over.  Let us be defined by our future, and by what we are yet to become! Let us create our own future, starting today.

EVERYTHING HAPPENS FOR A REASON…

Quite often I am asked by people what to do when this goes wrong, or that goes wrong.  My answer has always been that it is easier to worry about developing an amazing life BEFORE challenges appear.  Life will always provide us with lessons and opportunities to grow.  Some people refer to them as problems.  That is not an incorrect statement, but only one view of them. It is how we approach these events which will come up in everyone’s life and usually at the most inconvenient time.  That is why I stress the time to work on developing your joy is now.  Have a game plan in place and you will discover that when a challenge shows up in your life, as it always will, it seems to hold less power over you.  I know this sounds good in theory, but let me give you a fine example of seeing the sunshine even on a cloudy day.  April 11th I was on my way to work when another driver ran a stop sign.  My hand went through the windshield and my car was totaled.  I was forced to use my first sick day in 9 years.  I have been paying for a rental car out of my own pocket as I wait on the other drivers insurance to come to a settlement.  I missed two days of work and one job, and one day at another.  My back has been in pain ever since that day.  I came home from the hospital thinking i could try typing and work on my book only to discover my computer had a meltdown and all my Microsoft word programs were gone.

Wait!  This is not sounding very inspiring you may be thinking.  Well all those facts are true, there are other facts to consider.  First let us look at the day of the accident.  To begin with, nobody was seriously injured or worse.  I got to experience my first ambulance ride with emergency personnel who were kind and concerned.  The nurses and doctors at the hospital were amazing. Not to mention I was met there by family and friends who were concerned.  At my second job I received a card signed by the other employees and several customers.  Which made me feel far more valuable than I ever realized I was.  I met a new lady who is also working on her first book at the car rental company and we are going to help each other through the process.

Sure, it would’ve been better to have never been in the crash to begin with, but I take lots of good away from the situation.  As I go forward with this I now know how cared for I am, I will eventually have a newer vehicle and have made some great friends along the way.  Life, even with all of its challenges, shines when you do.

ROME WASN’T BUILT IN A DAY…

This is an all to familiar phrase.  People understand you cannot construct a major city in mere days.  These same people wonder why after trying a cd they have bought, or reading a book, or even doing the steps on this blog they do not wake up feeling much different from the night before.  The answer is relatively easy.  You no more can build a coliseum overnight then you can go from living a unfulfilling life to an amazing one.  Give yourself and life in general a little time.  If there was a magic secret that would do that, it would be worth it’s weight in gold.  The truth is this, life does not change with one big event.  It is the small changes, done daily that have a cumulative effect on life. The formula is as follows, small changes done daily equal a big change.  So if things seem to ‘not be getting any better’ or they do, but then you end up right back where you started, just remember you didn’t lose all the joy in your life overnight, you are not going to get it all back overnight either.  Like the old sports saying goes, “It’s not how many times you get knocked down, it’s how many times you get back up”  So don’t give up my friends. Make your mind up, and find joy in every little moment of life you can. I will leave you with a quote from the 16th president of the United States, Abraham Lincoln “Most folks are about as happy as they make up their minds to be” a good thought to ponder as we head into the weekend! Until we meet again next week my friends.

ENJOY HAPPY HOUR…

For those of you who have read this blog for any amount of time, or happen to know me in person, are aware one of my many jobs is a bartender.  Here I have the great fortune of meeting all different kinds of people and hearing all different kinds of opinions and ideas.  The other day it was brought to my attention that I would be the perfect bartender for “Happy hour” since I am the one who does a blog and is writing a book all about happiness. After a good round of laughter I got to thinking. Why is ‘Happy Hour’ strictly a bar idea?  I think we each deserve to come up with our own happy hour.  If you can’t do a full hour, perhaps fifteen to thirty minutes? Make even more fun, find a group of like-minded friends and all meet for different happy hours.  Ladies, maybe all meet at the salon for a manicure.  Gentlemen, maybe meet in the park and throw a football around.  Either way, decide that time should be devoted to being happy.  Not complaining about work or our spouses, but just discussing fun and exciting topics that all enjoy.  If you would prefer a quite moment of solitude enjoying your coffee beverage do that! While I certainly do not wish to take people away from the bars (and be sure to treat your bartender great while you are there) Why limit our happy hour to that schedule and that location.  Let’s take a chapter from their book and create our own fun and unique happy hours!

MONEY ON THE BAR…

One fine day a customer at the bar I work at came running in set her coat down and said she had some ‘urgent personal business’ to attend to.  I told her she had won a raffle we had, to which in her hurry she simply yelled “Just set the money on the bar I’ll be right back” Well as this lovely young lady was otherwise occupied I went downstairs to grab some more beer from the cooler.  I came back upstairs and could hear her yelling before I even got back in the bar.  “what’s wrong?” I asked with concern.  “You left my money on the bar with the window open and it blew all over” I felt bad.  Indeed I had not noticed it had been a warm day and we wanted to get some fresh air in the place.  What she said next almost made me double over in laughter though.  “Do you know how long it took me to find all $25?” She asked. What’s funny about this? I had never told her how much she had won. The amount had actually only been $20. The other five had been dropped by others.  The point being made here is this. If I had told her she won $20 she may have stopped looking after she had gotten that far. How far could we go if we never placed limits on ourselves or listened to the limits of others?

This reminds me of a Native American story I heard growing up.  There were two hunting groups who had come to see the village Shaman for advice on where to hunt.  With this Shaman happened to be a young apprentice.  The first group said they were looking to find a group of 15 buffalo they had been tracking.  The second asked to find a group of 10 buffalo they were tracking.  The answer the Shaman gave to both was the same “Go north, you will find them there. No more, no less”.  They both thanked the Shaman and set out.  The young apprentice was confused and asked the Shaman which one he had told the truth to.  “Both” replied the Shaman.  Further confused the apprentice asked how can one group find 15 buffalo and the other just 10 in the same area? The Shaman looked at the young man and smiled “Because that is what they expect to find”

That story always reminds me why it is good to expect the best in life. Yes, sometimes you may be disappointed, but if you expect the worst, even if you’re right you’ll still be disappointed. So today do yourself a favor. Expect something great to happen and keep your eyes out for what it may be

IT DOESN’T JUST HAPPEN

Sometime in our life we went from being the adventure seeking young child, to the adult waiting for life to happen to us.  A view that also affects our view of happiness. I was told the other day that someone was “Never happy, but it’s not their fault because nothing ‘happy’ ever happens to them”.  Here is when a slight change in perception can make all the difference.  Going back to that adventurous toddler, when we are young, we seek out happiness, we don’t just sit in our cribs and wait for it to ‘happen to us’ much to the chagrin of our parents.  When we grow older, however, lots of us just sit in the house and watch tv waiting for something happy to happen.  Here is when a good definition of what happy means to you would certainly help.  While enjoying a cup of coffee at the local Starbucks with a group of friends the other day, I asked them what would make them happy. There were two very different kinds of happiness expressed.  There was what I shall call ‘high excitement’ happiness. The “brand new sports car” “winning the lottery” “night in Vegas” to the ‘low excitement’ variety, “having the dishes done” “a good book and a bottle of wine” “a nice long walk in the woods with my dog”.  Although these answers are very different, they both work for the people who said them. So I asked, why are you not working toward saving for that trip to Vegas? How about working with you spouse to schedule some time alone for a book and a glass of wine.  Sometimes we forget a little pursuing on our behalf, and a change in perspective can make all the difference. Plus, let’s be honest, we all deserve it! Have an amazing day my friends!

AT YOUR SERVICE…

An interesting fact I seem to run into time and time again is the close relationship between the “Law of Attraction” and living a positive rewarding life.  Not to surprising as attracting the life we desire would certainly lead us to be happy.  For those of you not very well versed in what the law of attraction may be, here is the most basic, nuts and bolts of the matter.  basically that what we focus on and how we feel, the thoughts we send out to the universe influences the situation we find ourselves in.  This has been, in some form or another, been put forth by almost every great thinker and spiritual leader throughout time.  The formula for using this law to our advantage is ‘ask, believe, receive’ this was made popular in the movie and book “The Secret“.  Well, I do not have a problem asking and always enjoy receiving, but like many of you until I see something I have a problem believing it.  Faith, well it has not always been my strong point.  Earl Nightingale put it this way, “Your rewards will always be in direct proportion to your service”  Well, even though I endeavour to serve people to the best of my ability be it at the post office, the bar or in life in general I still had problems accepting that all this ‘good karma’ would come back.  Ok, maybe I understood it intellectually, but couldn’t really grasp it emotionally.  That is until today.  I was watching a film with the famed Author Napoleon Hill.  The man who wrote the famous book “Think and Grow Rich” back in 1937.  He put it in such a way that helped me better understand faith, service and how that all comes together.  He used the metaphor of the farmer.  In the spring the farmer must purchase seeds, till the land, plant the seed and take care of them.  Up to this point, not only has the farmer not made any profit he is actually in the hole for his time and the price of the seeds.  Then, he sits back, let sunshine, rain and mother nature take her course.  Along with some work by the farmer to maintain the soil.  Then after a few weeks the seeds sprout, and blossom and the farmer is returned the only the seed money but several times that.  The key was first he had to put in the investment, plant the seed and do the service.  Then he had to sit back and wait.  Confident his returns would come.  This is not the first, nor the last time I am sure to learn a lesson from a farmer.

A CONSTANT REMINDER…

Wouldn’t it be great if we had somebody to follow us around and let us know when doubt, fear, negativity and all those other spirit vampires come calling?  Somebody to follow us around and remind us “look for the good in life”  or  “Don’t let your outside control your inside”.  Well unless you have a lot of discretionary income, or friends who really have nothing better to do, chances are this will not be possible.  So if all your friends have healthy social lives and you can’t afford to hire a ‘personal reminder’ what then?  Employ someone or more accurately something you can afford!  Just what is this crazy guy talking about?  Symbols!  They can be anything.  Something visionary, a trigger phrase, a scent.  Just pick something you may see on a regular basis in your daily life.  Now don’t make it to obvious.  I work at the post office so I wouldn’t choose ‘a stamp’.  It has to be somewhat random.  For example I might choose the phrase “First Class” and it will remind me to live my life in a first class manner, or to have a ‘first class day’.  I’m also a bartender so every time I see a bottle of gin I can think to myself ‘give individuals niceness’ or when I smell coconut rum, I can remind myself to “live like I am on vacation” and enjoy each life to the fullest.  These may all sound a little corny, but one they are off the top of my head, and two, why not put the world around us to work?  I know each day presents its own unique challenges, so each one should come with little reminders to keep smiling and enjoy the life we have been given.  So pick just one or two reminders. Deciding what they can be and what they will mean to you is just the start of the fun!  I must go now, I have the sudden urge for a rum and coke…