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YOU’RE A PEACH!

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It always hurts a little when someone may not be our biggest fan. Especially if you are doing your best to be the best person you can be. Personally I find this hard to take at times because I care so deeply for people. When we factor in personal beliefs such as prejudice or racism the reasons people may not like you often have more to do with them and the way they look at the world. People’s opinion can also be colored by their past experiences. Perhaps they had an abusive uncle named Neil growing up. If they meet me they very well may not even take the chance to get to know me, or worse yet decide they do not like me based solely on my name. This can hold true for the color of your skin, the way you dress, what job you hold and a million other reasons. Before we start thinking to ourselves how ridiculous this may all sound, understand a lot of these opinions can come with some strong emotional attachment. In the case of racism, it may be how the person was raised and sadly beliefs that were engrained in them before they had to learn the truth about people. If the person has had a strong negative experience such as physical or sexual abuse related to someone who shares traits that you have, that judgment may also include a great deal of fear.

So what is the takeaway from all of this? Understand that people not liking you can often be none of your business. We must greet this judgment with a good deal of compassion. We rarely, if ever, know the story behind it. Is this easy? Absolutely not. It does, however benefit us in the long run. Changing anger and frustration into compassion and understanding helps us deal with the negative actions associated with people not enjoying our company. Another important thing this does is not reinforce their negative opinion. If someone chooses to not like us for reasons of their own creation the worst thing we can do is reinforce them. Do your best to show them what a great person they are missing out on. If they still choose not to like you, which often may be the case, treat their opinion with compassion and respect. Continue to be the best you can be and focus on those who do love you. At the very least you have left them with a good example of what a person can be. Remember like the picture says above, “Some people just don’t like peaches”

Feel free to share this post on your social media pages as well as with anyone you think could benefit. Feel free to leave any other suggestions you may have in the comments below.

HOW TO CONTROL YOUR WORLD

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Remember the only thing we truly have the power to change is ourselves.  If you don’t like your circumstances, work to change your role in them.  If you can’t, change the way you look at them.  By changing ourselves and focusing on what we can do is the only way in which we have absolute control over our world.

APPLE SEEDS

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What can apple seeds teach us about personal transformation? Let me share this story with you.  I heard this story perhaps a week ago and it really helped put into focus a point I often try to relate to others.
A young man was having lunch with his father when they cut open an apple. The father asked his son what was inside the apple. Thinking his father might be suffering from a moment of memory loss the son politely answered “they are just apple seeds dad”. The father informed him he was only partly right.  Seeing the son’s confused look he went on to explain. “They are only apple seeds right now. They are actually apple trees waiting to happen”.

Stop and read that last line again. Inside every apple are several apple trees that can create hundreds of more apples for years to come. The same holds true with us. All too often we look at our current situation and view that as reality. What we forget is each one of us is like an apple seed. We have the potential to become a tree and give blossom to many great ideas and inspire many for years to come.

So why do we not all become ‘trees’? The same reason all seeds do not. We need to plant our ideas, to water grow and care for them.  We need to do all of this in an environment that allows us to grow.

So look at your current environment. Is it conducive to allowing our seeds of greatness to grow? When you feel frustrated with your current situation remember sometimes a seed has to be buried and grow underground long before it breaks ground.  Keep working and next time you eat and apple, take time to notice the seeds and reflect on this lesson.

Feel free to share this post and inspire everyone you know!

Watch “PREPARE TO DIE!” on YouTube

Watch “THE RICHEST PLACE IN THE WORLD (and why you don’t want to end up there)” on YouTube

Latest YouTube video shot on location in a cemetery

JUST REMEMBER

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This weekend take time to go easy on yourself. Take time to recharge your batteries. I was speaking with Travis Jones who writes bringitivity.net last weekend. He took some bold steps to take some time away from the entertainment he does to focus on other more important aspects of his life.  The result? A refreshed spirit,done great new blog posts and energy going into the future.

Even if you are doing what you love, what you are passionate about and it hardly seems like work at all, you still need to focus on you from time to time. My favorite way to explain this, especially to the givers out there, is that you cannot fill a glass from an empty pitcher. If you keep giving and giving eventually the pitcher will be empty and no cups will be filled.

Another thing this does is give you fortitude. Life is sure to present some challenges to you at the most inopportune time. If those challenges find your energy and inspiration close to empty you may get knocked down. If they come up against a fresh and energetic spirit, they don’t stand a chance.

So do something for you this weekend.  Find something that inspires you or recharges your batteries. If you feel guilty about that, remember that you must have a full pitcher if you hope to fill someone else’s cup. So take care of yourself so we can all take care of each other!

Feel free to share this post as well as your ideas for recharging your batteries in the comments below.

3 SIMPLE THINGS

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These 3 simple things can change your world and everyone involved in it. The first one compliment people is very important. Our lives are full of people trying to criticize or even sometimes just waiting to prove what’s wrong. By being the person who always looks what’s right in a person you will be the one everyone looks forward to seeing. You will not only make them feel good but you will feel good about how enthusiastic everyone greets you. The second one magnify their strengths is equally as important. People love to hear what it is that they do well. Which is why the third one not their weaknesses is important. Truly when there is something wrong with those we care about we do like to let them know but trust me there are plenty of people and sometimes even the mirror to let them know what they have to improve on. Plus when we build people up they will also want to improve every area of their lives. So try these three things today and see how the lives of those around you and your life as well improve

SECRET FORMULA FOR A POSITIVE LIFE.

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I posted this on my Facebook page 4 years ago. It showed up in my memories and I was interested to note although I agree with this statement, my approach is almost opposite. While it is true if you fill your days with attention to negative people and situations there leaves little time to focus on what is good. This will leave you feeling at the very best uninspired at the end of the day. Do this over a prolonged period of time and you will feel tired, worn out and depressed.

So how can you eliminate the negative from your life? Here is a very painless and easy formula I share at my seminars. If you are anything like me telling your negative friend “I can’t hang out with you because you just bring me down and complain all of the time” is not that easy. So how can you eliminate negative things in your life? Here is the formula. The best way to limit and get rid of the negative is by adding the positive.

How does this work? Well I heard people say that they don’t like looking at their Facebook pages because it is to negative and drama filled. I tell them to get rid of those people or at the very least hide their newsfeeds. I hear a million and one reasons why this can’t happen. “It’s my uncle though” or “I have to work with this person everyday”. Ok, well then add positive pages and people. At least that way when you log on between the politics and drama you may find some motivation and inspiration. Same works for negative people that want your time. Find some positive people and pursuits and commit your time to them. Then when the negative Nancys come calling you can honestly say “I’m sorry I am busy that night” Even if you feel obligated to spend some time with these folks if you also add positive people and experiences they can certainly be a little easier to take.

Feel free to share this blog post and formula with all of those you care about. Thank you.

RELISH THE NOW

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Here is something great about being older,  you know how to appreciate and live in the moment. Have you ever noticed how in reflecting upon some of your greatest moments you often find yourself thinking “I wish I would have paid more attention to that”. Maybe it is just me. Take vacation for example. My last trip to the tropics was one day more than forever ago. I find myself forgetting what the ocean air smells like. The accent of the local people, the taste of the food. At the time you can become so involved with enjoying the experience that you forget to look around and soak it all in. As I’ve grown older though I not only look forward to more things I try to appreciate them not only after the fact, but while they are happening as well.

My latest example happened just the other night. After a long week apart and a morning helping her daughter purchase her first car, which we enjoyed being a part of. We were starting to really miss each other. Even though we DJ together Thursday through Sunday and I bartend while she is the DJ on Monday, the time is usually spent talking with our friends and singers, or looking up songs and addressing computer issues. What this means is by Tuesday we are really longing for time together. This particular Tuesday We began the day excited to go to the car dealership with her daughter and pick out just the right car. The whole experience was quite fun, but lasted all morning and then I had to leave them to go to work. I work until 6pm, by then I was really eager to go home to bed. Still my lady had been busy herself. After her daughter had taken home her new dream car, my lady Margie had met with some ladies to discuss details of a specialty cake she was going to create for them. She was also quite worn out by the time I got off of work, but asked me if I could stop off for a cup of coffee before coming home as she was working on a surprise for me. I was really tired and may have even heard a whisper from my pillow asking where I was, but seeing how she was taking the time and effort to do something nice for me after a long day herself I was more than happy to relax at the local coffee shop.

Here is where it gets good. As I walked through the door I noticed she had made the house clean and it smelled of candles and incense. She lead me by the hand into the kitchen before telling me “Wait the surprise is not in here” This was followed in the same manner in my office, and a few other rooms. Finally stopping in our hallway she said “ok, here it is”. She opened the bathroom door and showed me where her effort had been. After cleaning the entire bathroom, she had filled the bathtub with Epsom salts scented with eucalyptus and mint, lit candles and poured a cold glass of wine. “Take your time, there is more” she said as she left me there.

As I lowered myself into this amazing world I must confess the writer in me was the first to kick in. “I have to blog about this!” was my very first thought. Then something great happened. While I was figuring out what exactly to say I began to focus on every detail of the experience. First was the scent. The eucalyptus and mint had a calming yet invigorating effect on my brain. Then the feel of both the salts and hot water on my body. It was both calming and healing all at once. Aches and pains that had been there for a week straight began to melt. Then I looked at the tropical colors and decorations all lit by the candles and thought how much it all resembled the finest spa. Then the taste of the wine, cool in contrast to the hot water. As I lowered myself into the bath the world was still and quite, silenced by the water covering my ears. That is something you do not get in the daily world of quick showers before work. I forgot how much I enjoyed the simple pleasure of being under water. as I looked up I saw clouds of steam floating over my eyes. I watched as they danced around each other before disappearing as they cooled. Something I had probably witnessed but never noticed until that very second. Then the feeling of gratitude for the amazing efforts of the lady that put this all together.

This was followed by a series of other wonderful events that continued to spoil me. I took the time to notice and appreciate every detail as much as I could. I also tried to employ as many of my senses as I could. Then when I recalled the event as I did while writing this blog, it seems as real and amazing as can be. Far too often I have had great moments only to fail to recall the details, just that they were fun, romantic or happy. By being present, not on my cell phone or thinking about what is for dinner the next day or a million other worries not only was the event so much more enjoyable, but so is the memory. By the way the evening concluded with watching one of my favorite movies I had been wanting to watch for weeks followed by some of the most blissful sleep I have had in ages.

So here is the takeaway on this one. Starting right this very moment do your best to be present. Enjoying and taking in whatever circumstance you find yourself in. Out to eat? Notice the decorations in the restaurant and the waiters personality. enjoy the aroma of the food as it arrives at the table. Feel grateful you do not have to do the dishes after. Enjoy the looks and conversation of the people who took the time to join you. Enjoy every second of every experience in life.

Feel free to share this post as well as your own memories you enjoy in the comments below. To conclude I want to again thank my beautiful lady for not only making this blog possible, but the evening and the memory as well.

MY OLD FRIEND MOE

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I’m here to talk to you about a dear old friend we share.  Our friend moe. Not this moe who happens to be the leader of the comedy group the 3 stooges. No I’m talking about a different moe, one who can and does have a great impact on our lives. This moe was brought to my attention in a conversation with my good friend Bret.

So who is this friend? This friend’s name is motivation. Have you ever noticed how hard it can be to get motivated some days? Have you ever noticed how easy it is to get things done when you are ‘on a roll’? Even if you experience challenges you seem to just find your way through our around them. 

Here is some great news, you can to a large extent control your motivation.  In fact, if you are not you may find yourself fall victim to our friend moe. Yes it’s true motivation can be negative. It can seem to turn against you.  Perhaps you may have heard this in sports.  The talk about teams losing motivation, or that the motivation has switched teams.

So how can we not only get motivated,  but stay motivated? Again more fabulous news.  In this day of modern technology it is all around us.  Viewing motivational videos on YouTube is something I do daily.  You can download or purchase these for your mp3 player as well. There are books on motivation as well.  Don’t have time? They are even on audio book as well.

Still the best motivation doesn’t come from outside it comes from inside. How can we develop inner motivation? Some people refer to it as ‘drive’. Here are some quick ways to develop yours. First, learn your why.  Knowing what has to be done is only part of the job. Knowing why you need to do it gives you motivation.  Be it ‘negative’ motivation such as if I don’t get my job done at work my boss may fire me, or ‘positive’ motivation such as if I surprise my wife by doing the dishes she will be happy and more loving. Knowing why gets you moving. Second, find a reward for you in it.  It’s great if you can get that externally such as my wife will give me more affection if I help her. More often than not, however the reward misty come from within.  Whether it be the feeling of accomplishment you get, or something more tangible such as “I’ll treat myself to ice cream if I can make it to the gym 3 days this week”. Then you also meet moe’s friend discipline.

So put our old friend moe to work for you! Feel free to tell anyone you like about your old friend by sharing this post. Also feel free to share your secrets to getting and staying motivated in the comments below.