Today, in the United States, we celebrate Memorial Day. It is a day to honor all of those who have lost their lives serving their country. In a world that seems to be having new conflicts daily, we must keep this thought in mind.
Often, these brave men and women go to war to serve their country knowing what possible sacrifice might await. Those who do not make it home often leave behind a loving family. This family may often have to endure not only the pain of loss, but often financial worries in top of that. If there is one thing we can do to honor the fallen, is to make sure those they left behind are taken care of.
This memorial day, pause for a moment and thank all of those who sacrificed so you don’t have to. War sadly continues,and so do those who not come home. Let us all work together for peace to honor those who did not live to see it.
If you live in the United States, you are no doubt suffering from election and political burnout. In my mailbox, I received so many political ads I lost count. Most of them were filled with warnings of doom and gloom. The world ending if we voted for the wrong candidate. I wish I was being dramatic, but I am not. Couple this with radio ads, television, YouTube ads and the list goes on. Fear and hate were spread by both parties in abundance. I get it. Fear motivates people to take action. Now that the election is over, it is time for us to move on.
Even if you do not live in the USA, there is plenty of negative in the world. There is the wars in the middle east. There is the war in the Ukraine. Plenty of hate and negativity to go around. I am part Armenian. Lots of problems in that corner of the world. In short, there is grave shortage of love in the world. At least that is what we are told. If you spend your days with your eyes glued to the news, even the best of us can walk away disillusioned. What is the cure? Go out and talk to your neighbors. Not about recent political events. Not about war and what country is to blame. Talk about your favorite recipes. Talk about the dreams for your kids if you have any. Talk about your dreams and aspirations. Here is what you will find – your neighbors are not that different from you.
I am sure the people of Russia and the Ukraine wish the war was over. Families are being torn apart, economies are suffering. The only thing worse than global conflict, is to allow it to become generational conflict. Do not let the hatred of the few corrupt the love of the many. Find the beauty in those who are different from you. Yes, it can be hard. Yes, some may not deserve it. The truth is that we will never find peace if we continue to hang on to hate. It is a virus given to us by those we seek to divide us. Love can unite us and keep us moving forward. I am reminded of two quotes by great men. The first is by Martin Luther King Jr. “Darkness cannot drive out darkness; only light can do that. Hate cannot drive out hate; only love can do that.” Eventually, someone has to have the compassion and bravery to forgive. We need to use love to drive out hate. That is the only way in which it will work.
The second quote is by Buddha. He said, “Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.” Our anger only succeeds in destroying us. Even if we can inflict some damage on the party we are angry at, it does not come without a cost to us. If we fill ourselves with love, again not always an easy task, it will only serve to help us. The first step to filling ourselves with love, is to practice forgiveness. Not only to others, but to ourselves.
It is apparent that in many areas, anger is spreading faster than ever. Instead of focusing our energy on ‘stopping the anger’, let us focus on spreading the love and joy. Let us begin by learning how to forgive those who hurt us, including ourselves. If hate can spread this fast, let us show one another how fast love can spread.
This is an important message for today’s world. We need to shift from placing blame, to creating solutions. They only way to do this is by working together. It can be simple to say, but I know it is not easy to do. Hurt, years of oppression, violence, and division have been going on since the dawn of man. How can we hope to reverse this trend?
If you listen to what you hear from politicians, world leaders and the media, it is as soon as we Conquer the opposition. That is a lie. The solution lies in forming mutual respect with the opposition. This requires both sides to admit the wrong they have done and pledge to work together to create a solution to prevent those wrongs from occurring in the future.
What does this have to do with you and I? Plenty. We cannot wait for world leaders and those running out country to remove their thinking apparatus from their sitting apparatus. That may never happen. We have to startwith us. Work on eliminating our prejudices. At the very least, stopspeaking hate and division and start thinking of solutions. Vote for those who do the same instead of those running on a ticket based on fear, blame and revenge. Most importantly, raise children who respect others and want to make a difference in the world.
It is not to late to save the world and the people who live in it. The change has to start with someone. Why not let it start with us and why not start now?
This may sound like a fatalistic post for uplifting Wednesdays, but it really is not. In fact, I debated titling this post “Everything is special” but decided on the one I did because it has a sense of urgency. Last week, we discussed how quickly things change and how the not so distant past can seem like a lifetime ago. Isn’t that true to some extent in your own life? I know it is in mine. Places you used to go are no longer there. Businesses you used to frequent have ceased operations. People sadly pass on. Animals become extinct.
Again,this is a little depressing, but it also provides us a sense of urgency. My friend Curtis gave me a great reminder about the power of being present. All too often we busy ourselves reliving memories and fail to pay attention to the ones we should be creating. Then, without a warning it seems, they too become memories. Consider this – each second of time is unique and will never occur again. The beautiful sunrise you are witnessing? Yes, the sun will rise again tomorrow, but it will look different than what you are seeing right now. That bouquet of flowers you received will be different than any you will get in the future.
One of the interesting things that I reflect on in life is how seemingly tragic world events change the way things are done. I recall what travel was like before September 11 of 2001. Recently, we all saw the effects Covid had on the way we socialize and do business. Life can change in an instant. Change is actually the only thing we can count on. That is why each moment is so precious. War has broken out in many places in the world and the lives of millions were upended ina heartbeat. The reverberations of that situation can be felt across the globe. Very few us could have predicted that was going to happen.
It doesn’t even have to be on a global scale. Think of all the people in your life. Above is a picture of my lovely lady and I. It was taken at my work’s holiday party. It was also a retirement party for one of my coworkers. That means it will be the last time he will be there as my coworker. Who knows if my work will have another holiday party or if this was the last one I will attend? A few years back during my open-heart surgery, it was almost the last time I spent with my lovely Margie. That story is shared in great detail in my book, The Beat Goes On, available on Amazon.
Challenges provide us great opportunity to see everything for the miracle it is. Recently, I shared the story about how my car was having trouble and my mother was giving me a ride to work. Although this proved to be far more stressful than we first thought, who knows when I will be able to share the ride and great conversation with my mother at 430am. Looking back, we had fun on my way to work. Who knows if those moments will ever happen again. I would much rather have a working vehicle, but the ride with my mom was a good memory.
Everything, and everyone, in life is fleeting. It may not seem like it, but as we discussed earlier, it can all change in an instant. Health is precious. Love is precious. So many things we can fail to appreciate until they are gone. Take a second an be present and grateful for everything in your life. Everything is a miracle. Everything is precious.
For my younger readers, this here is Robert Plant. He sang for a rock band you may have heard of – Led Zeppelin. I am not sure if he really said the quote above or not. It doesn’t really matter. It is great advice we should put into action this weekend. Monday through Friday we are so inundated with news of the world. This can come from coworkers, family, friends and is even sent directly to our phones. There is war between Russia and the Ukraine. There is one now in the middle east. There are politicians fighting to outdo each other in looking asinine. It is never quite clear who is winning. I suppose it changes depending on the day. Do you know what being up to date on all of this information gets us? Not much. We can carry on a conversation in the office. It also seems to foster a feeling of hopelessness for the human race and a feeling of disgrace for humanity. Sounds fun, right? Not hardly.
This weekend, turn off the news and turn up the music. Do you know what you will lose by not being up to date on the world’s conflicts and the fools often put in charge of them? You will lose stress and a disturbance to your inner peace. Instead, do what Bob Marley advocates, and let the music take the pain away. In my first two books, A Happy Life for Busy People and Living the Dream, I advocate creating a ‘happy playlist’. Songs that lift your spirit and fill you with good vibes. It is my firm belief we should expose ourselves to positive influences at least 51% of the time. Far more than that if you would like an amazing life. Since you are reading a website titled “Secret2anamazinglife” I would surmise this to be the case.
The more we balance out the negative influences we are exposed to with positive ones of our choosing, the more inner peace we will experience. In today’s crazy world, being able to exist in peace is nothing short of a super power. Turn off the news and put on some Led Zeppelin, Bob Marley or music of your choosing. Let the music carry you away to somewhere happy. I know I will be as I celebrate my lovely lady’s birthday. How about you?
In life, it can be easy to confuse battles with wars. What exactly does this mean? Our goals are like a war to win. In the journey to achieve them, we must fight several battles. My goal of reaches and serving as many souls with my writing is one that has its ups and downs. My first book, A Happy Life for Busy People, was a great success. It has sold roughly 5000 copies and is owned by rockstars, movie stars and billionaires. Some have even sent me personal letters to thank me. My most recent book, The Beat Goes On, has not done nearly as well as I had hoped. Does that make me a failure as a writer? No, it just means that battle did not turn out as I had planned.
Just like in war, we can learn even more from our loses than from our successes. Many people think viewing their goals as a war to win seems a bit over the top. That viewing life as some sort of life or death struggle may be a bit too dramatic. I am here to tell you that life is a constant struggle for territory, as Les Brown likes to say. If you do not stay committed to living a positive rewarding life, those negative thoughts will start creeping in. If you do not stay dedicated to your health and fitness, those calories will start showing themselves in unflattering ways.
Even in these examples, there are wins and loses. You may lose your temper and snap at someone who does not deserve it. You may give in and have one of those doughnuts in the breakroom…or two. This does not mean you are a failure, or have lost the war. No, it simply means that you have lost a battle. Use that to motivate you. Use it to learn from. The more battles you win, the sooner you will win the war.
In the United States, today we recognize Memorial Day. Originally called Decoration Day, from the tradition of decorating graves with flowers and flags. It is a remembrance of those who have died in service to our country. It is sad that after thousands of years on earth, humans have not learned how to avoid war. As I write this, the terrible situation in the Ukraine rages on. Soldiers from both sides are perishing every day. Not because they personally dislike each other, but because of decisions made by their governments. Not only is this true of the soldiers sent to war, but the innocent families torn apart for political gain.
Here in the United States, we have seen our share of casualties. In the civil war alone, 620,000 soldiers lost their lives. That occurred between 1861-1865, when the population of the country was a lot lower. In World War II, an estimated 70-85 million people perished. At the time, the earth’s population was only 2.3 billion. That means roughly 3% of it was killed as a result of war. These numbers may seem to big to fully appreciate. Let us just take one. How does it affect your life when someone you care about passes away? Does it just affect you, or is there a ripple effect? Think of how painful that is. Now, can you imagine multiplying that times 70-80 million? Each person we lose to war is someone’s son, brother, father, mother, daughter or sister. The pain is felt by everyone they know. Each loss could be someone who could have a great impact in the world. It could be someone who could help us cure disease, feed the poor, or even feed our spirit.
No matter what country you are reading this in today, I ask that you take a second to offer thoughts and prayers for not only those we have lost to war, but to the friends and family they have left behind. Pray for the human race that we may better appreciate the value of human life. If we all do this, perhaps we can heal the hearts of nations.
This post may sound a little doom and gloom to some of you, but I ask you to hold your judgements until the end. Every great thing in life we are working on doing is a war. I am not always fond of this comparison, but let me explain. I recall hearing my lovely lady sing the song “Love is a battlefield” by Pat Benatar the other day. I recall my thought that night was the same as every time I heard that song. “That is a pretty sad comparison.” Your love should not feel like a battlefield. In some ways, it really is. So it the relationship with you and your children. It is the same when it comes to your career or your mission in life. They are all wars and we are on the battlefield.
Here is an even more dark thought – we will never win these wars. Why? Because they will never end until we do. Are you working to be the best parent you can be? When do you finish that? Is there one thing you can wake up and do that will make you a great parent for the rest of time? If you are a rockstar parent today, does that mean you can ignore your children the rest of the week? If you are a loving and caring spouse today, but you do not consider your partner’s feelings tomorrow, do you think they will refer to you as the best thing that ever happened to them? I am guessing not. These are all wars. They will never end. I do have great news, however.
The good news is that wars are made up of individual battles. In the case of our quest to be the perfect parent, the only way to win that war is to win the battle of today. Did you love enough? Did you listen enough? Were you understanding or condescending? How about being a perfect spouse? Yes, love is a battlefield. There is winning the battle of support for your partner when the world seems to be beating them down. There is the battle of humbling yourself when you make a mistake. You can really apply this to any area of your life. The war will only be decided when are days are up. In the meantime, all we can do is kick ass on the battlefield. The bad news is you may also lose some battles. You may feel disconnected with your kids. You may have a misunderstanding with your spouse. That is fine. You have not lost the war. In fact, you may have gained valuable knowledge that will allow you to do better in future battles.
When you find yourself feeling a little defeated, remember the quote from the famous Russian tennis player above. You may have lost a battle, but that does not mean you have lost the war. Love, work and life in general is a battlefield. What we must focus on is winning as many of those battles as we can. Even though I was taken aback by the theme of the song, my little lady sounded like an angel singing it!
My schedule is one that is quite full. I spend roughly 46 hours commuting and working at my day job at the post office. On top of that, I spend about one to two hours at the gym three days a week. I record three podcast episodes a week. I am currently working on my fourth book. People are always asking me, “How can you still spend time doing blogs everyday?” This is compounded by the fact that they bring me very little, if any, financial gain. The picture above can help us answer that question. It is a partial list of countries that had logged on to read my blog during a particular week.
The last country on the list is Ukraine. This country is facing one of the toughest times in its history. People are being forced from their homes. If they are staying, they often have to do so without power, running water and under the threat of violence and destruction. To know that a person in this country took the time to log on to secret2anamazinglife.com, is not only a great honor, but a great responsibility. How many of us have thought to ourselves, “I sure wish I could say something encouraging to all of the people in the Ukraine.”? In this case, I get that chance. When you are living in a country that is at war, you need all of the inspiration you can get. It is difficult to keep your head above water, not to mention deal with all of the death and destruction. A voice of inspiration, encouragement and motivation from afar could be, at the very least, a welcome escape.
If you look a little further up on the list, you will see Puerto Rico. This view happened shortly after the island was devastated by a hurricane. There was almost no power on the entire island. Yet, someone still managed to log on to this blog to read what was written here. Very likely, their valuables were washed away. It is probable that their house was damaged in some form. They may have even lost some loved ones. These people came to read what I have written. Again, quite an honor, but an even greater responsibility. What could I possibly say to someone in that situation?
It does not have to be people in countries who are both ravaged by war and natural disasters. Take a look at any of the other countries. Any one of the people in Ecuador or Ethiopia could be facing one of the darkest days of their lives. Maybe they have lost a job. They could be experiencing the grief of losing a loved one. It is thoughts like this that are in my mind as I write these words. How can I write these blogs? To me the question is more accurately, “How could I not write these blogs?” If my words could improve the life of a neighbor down the street, or halfway across the globe, I owe it to them to share both the knowledge I know, as well as the love in my heart with them.
You may be thinking to yourself, “That is great Neil, but I don’t have a blog.” It is not just the online community that needs our love and encouragement. In todays social media world, where many people can forget the power of their words, we must remember what a positive impact ours can have. It could be someone who is in our social media network. It could also be a coworker or even the guy sitting at Starbucks with no shoes on. That last one is a personal observation I made while writing this. Any of those people could be facing some of the challenges we mentioned earlier. You may never know the impact your positive words or actions may have, but know they do make a difference.
Further proof you can find inspiration anywhere; here is a sign I saw in the men’s room while on a date with my beautiful Margie. Yes, I am always on the lookout for something beneficial I can share with all of you. Don’t worry, I did wash my hands.
In today’s world it can seem like there is a new tragedy everyday. We read about war, we see news coverages of mass shootings and rising crime. Here in the United States, we are having an election. That is a time when lots of people try to convince you how terrible the world is, and who is to blame. Here is a news flash for all of us – There is a lot of good and beauty in the world. It doesn’t get a lot of press. It doesn’t sell.
Here is another wonderful fact. Our world is not out of our control. There are very powerful forces that would like you to believe that, but it simply is not so. Sure, there are variables that can provide the unexpected challenge, but even our reaction to those are up to us. There is also a great deal we can do to positively influence the world around us. This sign is a great example. It is a simple and universal message that would leave to a better world. What other signs can you think of that would do the same? I encourage you to spend some time thinking of some. Here is another powerful idea – put these signs up where you can. The more messages of inspiration and motivation we put out there, the more we can change the negative narrative we are being fed. What would your sign say? Where would you put it?
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 