After reading the quote in this picture, there is not much to say, but yet you could spend forever pondering it. We will spend a little less than forever but spend a little time pondering the virtues of spending our time wisely. Looking at time as a currency certainly gives it more value in many people’s eyes, which is ironic in itself. Can you imagine spending money never knowing how much you had? You could wind up with a bunch of worthless junk and not enough money to afford food and shelter. Sadly, this is how many people do live.
I often look at life like an hourglass. The sand only goes one way and it is always flowing. That is like our life. Our years are flowing from the top to the bottom. We can do things to slow the flow, but there is no putting the sand back. In addition, it is as if the top of the hourglass is covered. We never know how much sand we have left. Try looking at an hourglass and pondering this. Even a little timer that comes in a boardgame will do. Watch the sand flowing and realize the time you have left is doing the same. This should not make you sad, but create a sense of urgency.
We only have so many more tomorrows. How many, none of us know. That is why wasting our time on senseless gossip or the destruction of others is not only a vile use of our time, but a waste. There is a cliche that says, “Every minute you spend in anger is 60 seconds of happiness you lose.” That might not be it exactly, but you get the idea. We must use our time in ways that not only serve our peace and development, but that of those we care about. Doing things to help the world live in peace and harmony is a good use of anyone’s time. How about you? How are you spending your time?
This is a phenomenon that young people may have a hard time grasping. How do I know that? When it was told to me when I was young, I recall thinking it was the stupidest thing. How can an hour be more than an hour? Now I am 50 and it feels like every time I sneeze it is next week! Something that Mr. Einstein called the ‘relativity of time’. An hour at the dentist seems a lot longer than an hour out with friends. How can that be? They are both 60 minutes long. Once I read a quote that summed this whole time thing up nicely. The quote was this – “How long 3 minutes is depends on what side of the bathroom door you are on.
Why does time seem to go faster as we age? The photo above gives us a great look into the answer. We tend to have less new experiences. We find things we like and tend to stick with them. Security becomes more important when we age. The ironic thing is that security can cause things to fail. Think of romantic relationships. Far too many marriages end up in divorce. Why is that? Why do two people who were so in love they spent thousands of dollars and invited many of their friends and family to commit to each other, then suddenly never want to see each other again? The reasons can be varied and complex, but one of the main ones is security. A relationship without change is one without growth. If a relationship seldom has anything new, it becomes boring. Then, when it becomes tough or a challenge arises, nobody wants to fight for what is boring.
This is not a post exclusively about marriage or even relationships in general. The relationship example we just mentioned works the same with our life. When our life becomes boring and predictable, what is the point of living it? There is a cliche that states, “Ships are safe in the harbor, but that is not what ships were built for.” People can be safe in their predictable life, but would it really be worth living? Try that new restaurant, take that new class and start that new hobby. Not only will it help you savor your life, but it keeps the mind sharp well into old-age. We only have one life. Let us make sure it is worth living.
As most of you know, I had open-heart surgery in 2022 and had a brief flirtation with death. Grateful it was only brief, but it could have been permanent. At that point, there wasn’t much i could do. The time before the surgery was a different story
I cannot assume that you have read my book, The Beat Goes On. That is the whole story of my surgery and life after death. Rather entertaining read if I say so myself. The time from when I was told I need surgery to the actual surgery itself was 2 months. That is a long time when it comes to anxiety, but a quite short time when it comes to accomplishing everything you want to do before you die.
Sitting next to this lovely lady in the movie theater, this became abundantly clear. What if I didn’t make it through surgery? What if, in these 2 months, I had to show her how much I care? How do you give someone a lifetime of love in 2 months? How do you celebrate your last Thanksgiving? Your last Christmas or ring in what could be your last New Year? You start to realize how fleeting life can be!
In a world of smart phones, watches and even rings, I think the device that best demonstrates what we are talking about here is the hourglass. The sand always goes from the top to the bottom. It slowly runs out, never going backwards. That is much like our life. It is constantly getting less and less. You will have less of it by the time you finish reading this post!
Now imagine you could not see how much sand is left in the top of the hourglass. You just new it was less and less by the second. Oh, you could guess based on the size of the hourglass, the thickness of the sand and other factors. What you would end up with us speculation at best. It could be a large hourglass with only a few grains of sand left. It could be a small hourglass packed with sand.
Our life is like that. We don’t know how much sand is left in our hourglass. All we know is that it is constantly running out. We can affect the rate to a certain degree by staying safe and healthy, but there are still factors beyond our control.
All of this to say is you don’t have time! Chase that dream now. Tell that person you love them now. As a person who had to stare down the possibility of death, and briefly experience it,let me assure you life is shorter than you think.
Today everyone is looking where to invest. Is it real estate? How about the stock market? Crypto currency?I have an investment that is not only more valuable, but will pay far greater dividends. If you would like to know what this investment is, and how you can take advantage of it, read the rest of this post.
First, let us look at the value of this investment. Diamonds, for example, are rare and expensive to mine. Therefore, they hold great value for the consumer. The value of stocks is relative. They can be worth $70 in March and be worth a little as $15 by September. This investment is not only more valuable than Diamonds, it is literally priceless. Speaking of price, the value of this investment never decreases. To the contrary. As time goes on,this investment becomes more valuable.
The investment I am speaking of is time. Before you roll your eyes, or stop reading right here, let me explain. There are many things you can get back. Lose a lot of money? Many people have lost money only to regain their fortune. Even if you lose a diamond, another can be purchased. What if you lost time? You wastedit with mindless scrolling online, or you were forced to sit in an airport because your flight was delayed. Can you get that time back? No. It is gone forever. I don’t care how wealthy or well–connected you are, you can’t get more time.
The way to take advantage of this investment? Make good use of your time. Have plans. I heard a quote that says, “For every minute of anger, you lose 60 seconds of happiness.” Meaning that time spent in anger is gone. You will never have that 60 seconds back.
This sense of urgency in regards to time was brought home to me when I knew I was having open-heart surgery. There was a 2 month time frame. I realized I could be staring down my last 60 days on earth and thought about all I wanted to accomplish. Here is the thing, you don’t have to be facing a dangerous surgery. Any of us, or our lovedones could check out at any time. The thing about time, it is always running out. The time to invest in our time is now, before it is too late!
This could not ring more true. Our time is far more valuable than our money. They say that you can always earn more money, but you can never earn more time. What makes life so precious is the fact that it ends. Far too many of us spend time stressing about the past. Mistakes we made, things we could have done better, things we should have done. This is rather crazy. Get the lesson from it and move on. The past is over with and cannot be changed with all the regret in the world. On the opposite side of the spectrum, many of us spend a great deal of time worried about the future. There is one, and only one way to affect the future, and that is by making the most of today. Worried you will not have enough money in the future? Start by saving and starting a retirement plan today. Worried about your health in the future? Start a fitness and healthy eating program today.
The best way to fully make use of your time is to be fully present today. How do we do that? Put down the phone, the remote and the laptop. Pick up a cup of coffee with a friend or with the birds in the park. A great exercise is to sit still somewhere and pay attention to each of your senses in turn. Think of sitting in a coffee shop. You could smell the fresh ground coffee, maybe some caramel. You would hear the roaring of the espresso machine. You could touch the wooden table, feel the warmth of your coffee mug. Taking a sip of that coffee, you could really focus on the taste. Try to discover as many flavor notes as you can. Look around and take note of what you see. What is the most common expression people have on their faces? How is the sun coming through the window, or did some heartless soul close all the blinds so the room is dark and resembles a tomb?
Another one of my favorite places to do this is in nature. To really make the most of it, you should be stationary. Find a nice bench in a park and grab a seat. Look around and notice the different songbirds you see. Maybe the sun reflecting off the pond. Close you eyes and listen. Do you hear the songs of the birds? Perhaps you hear the sound of the leaves blowing in the wind? Keeping your eyes closed, you can feel the wind blowing on your skin. Smell the oxygen in the air from all of the trees. Wait…is someone grilling in the picnic area? You could always try to convince them you need a hamburger to do the taste portion of this exercise.
I cannot emphasize enough how many of us lack the ability to be present. It is a difficult thing to do in today’s world. Distractions are everywhere. The phone is beeping. There are flashing electric signs everywhere. All too often, we only appreciate the moment in a memory. Those memories will be a lot richer, as will our lives, if we take time to be present. Try the activity mentioned above. Pick somewhere and notice as many of your senses as you can. You will be surprised at how much you are missing. If you like, share your experiences in the comments below.
Today is one of the most important posts I have written in a while. I will be appearing on television on Tuesday to discuss ’10 minutes to change the world’. The link will be shared in a post later in the week. This started me thinking on what we could all do in 10 minutes to change our worlds. The answer reflected something that occurred to me and played perfectly into the subject of my upcoming fourth book. I am going to give all of you a peak at this today.
I am going to share the 10 minutes that changed my world and give you the tools and strategies that I took out of that. These same very tools and strategies you can use to change your own life. The great change occurred in November of 2021. I had a doctor’s appointment earlier in the day, in which I had scheduled my open-heart surgery. In typical Neil fashion, I choose January 11 because the date would be “1-11-22”. That would be a full house. Had to be lucky I deduced. I also choose ‘high-noon’ as the time. Why? Because I always heard them say that in westerns and I thought it sounded cool. This is the way in which I approached one of the most important moments of my life.
That evening I went to the movie with my lovely lady, Margie. The story is explained in detail in my third book, The Beat Goes On, available on Amazon. While there, two thoughts occurred to me. First, never drink several cups of coffee before sitting down to a movie that is over two hours. Second, and the point of this blog, is that this could be the last movie I saw with the woman I love. As I excused myself to attend to the first matter, the second started bouncing around in my head. It was November. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, and this could be the last one I enjoyed. Same with Christmas, and most importantly, my lady’s birthday which falls on December 15th.
All of these thoughts had been precipitated by a comment the doctor’s nurse had said. She informed us that due to where they were operating, there was a chance of death or stroke. Seeing my look of concern, she reassured me, “It would be a mini stroke in anything.” I asked if it would also be a mini death. This was said in jest, but turned out to be more accurate than I would have thought. Again, that full story is in the book.
While attending to my business in the men’s room, these thoughts bounced around my head. Here is a fact that may surprised you, and certainly surprised me – it did not scare me. What it did was create a sense of urgency. I realized that someone had set a timer for two months and pushed go. I thought of the hourglass and the sand slowly, but continually, running from top to bottom. If there were only two months left to spend with my lady, how could I make her understand and feel the intense love that I had for her? What memories did I want to create? How could I make those holidays, and her birthday, as special and memorable as they could be? Then, I started to think about the other people in my life. How could I do the same for them? What about those of you who read this website? How could I continue to put forth a positive influence even after I was gone? My head started spinning.
As I returned to my seat next to Margie, my brain was working overtime. My fingers were drumming on the seat. Margie, half annoyed and half curious, asked what was wrong. I told her I would tell her after the movie. Unable to focus on the superheroes fighting to save the earth, I gave myself over to my thoughts. When the credits were rolling, I had to be nudged awake by my beautiful lady. I explained all about my time being fleeting and the urgency to create the best memories and convey the most love. She began by assuring me she believed I was not going to die. Seeing this did not satisfy my spinning thoughts, she said something quite simple yet profound. “Let us make a list of everything we want to do, and everything you want to make people feel.”
I began to appreciate the relativity of time. Waiting 2 months for my upcoming Bahamas vacation has seemed like forever. Having two months to think of, plan and carry out life-lasting memories? That seemed such a fleeting time it was next to impossible. As I began to work on all of this, a sobering, but powerful, thought occurred to me. We are all going to die. That may sound negative, but it really shouldn’t. It is a fact. Every single one of us has an internal hourglass that has sand running from the top to the bottom. Here is an interesting fact. None of us can see how much sand is in the top. Whether we are 18 or 80, it can be a lot, or only a few grains. There are certainly facts that can slow the sand. We can enjoy a healthy diet, exercise regularly, and most importantly, manage our stress effectively. This, however, is no guarantee. In my case, I was working out four days a week, meditating every night and still had an aneurism. This was due to a deformed heart valve I was born with that I never even knew I had. This was the same condition that killed the writer of the the movie and play Rent. He never even knew he had it. Just dropped over. That is why we should all be aware of that hourglass.
Look around at those in your life. What if you did not have tomorrow to tell them how you truly feel? You could be gone tomorrow or they could. Sobering, yes. True? absolutely. The sand is running out for all of us. We can deny it, or “not think of such dark things”, but that does not change the reality of them. What is the secret to living an amazing life in the time that we have left? I say it is by embracing those very facts!
It is the fact that life ends that makes it so valuable. If we lived forever, there would be no urgency and little value to what we did daily. The fact that life is fleeting, and can end at any second, makes it priceless. This holds true for both us and everyone we come in contact with. If there is one thing all of humanity has in common, it is the fact that we will all die. Here is what I propose. Embrace that fact. Start by thinking of what you want to be remembered for. I often suggest people take a shot at writing their own eulogy. What do you want those you love to say, and more to the point, remember about you? Then, look at if you are indeed that person. If not, what actions can you take to change that and become who you want to be? Is it something you need to say? Something you need to do? Realize the time is passing. Get yourself an hourglass to provide a poignant reminder.
There is some debate as to Crazy Horse actually saying this. However, the point is this. Live every day that if you were to die, you would be at peace with that fact. Go to sleep at night with your soul at peace. That means to make sure your loved ones understand how much you care. It means having your legacy in place so that those who come after you will continue to learn from the person you are.
There are certain things I recall hearing as a child that made absolutely no sense to me. One of them was, “Once you get older, time really seems to fly.” I recall thinking how absurd this sounded. A day is a day, a week is a week and a year is a year, no matter how old you are. Then it happened – I got old. Where some people may debate as to what age this happens, there is a certain intellectual stage you reach where I think life starts to change. Perhaps it is because I am at an age where I have lived more years than I have left to live? I am on the downhill, if you care to look at it that way. There is a quote from the movie The Crow, which is a movie I rather enjoy, in which the bad guy says “Childhood is over the moment you know you’re gonna die.” I am not sure I 100% agree with this. I believe that realizing you are going to die is one of the best motivations to start living. I do think something changes though. There is a certain sober reality that sets in.
When this happens, I think the time speeding up issue begins. In my case, my vacation, and the warm weather, is drawing to a close soon. It seems like yesterday that I was wishing for warmer weather. It also feels like the cooler weather comes quicker every year. In an odd twist of fate, it seems the colder weather lasts longer. I am going to have to figure that one out. It seems that I have been working on putting together my third book and podcast for a while and time just seems to fly by. The question becomes, “How does this happen?” and “What can we do to hold on to time?”
Most of us take the approach of this guy in the picture above. We run around trying to ‘catch time’. Oddly enough, this can have the opposite effect. I think the answer to both of our questions can be found in the picture at the beginning of this post. I believe the best way to treasure a moment and to hang on to time is to become more present. In a world where more and more information is flying at us, and we feed on distraction, it is a real battle to be present. If you do not believe me, look where any large group is gathered and count the amount of people who are staring at cell phones. It seems this percentage increases by the day. If it involves waiting of any kind, the percentage can approach 100%. Sure, it is no fun to wait, but often that might be the only time we have to ourselves and our thoughts. We may think of and notice things that we miss in our busy world.
What is crazy is how often we do this when we could be better involved in far more pleasurable activities. I see couples out to dinner where both of them are sitting across from each other on their phones. In a few years, I would imagine these couples will either wonder where all the time went, or find themselves drifting apart wondering why their connection has seemed to lesson. The same holds true for families, friends and even coworkers. It is not just cell phones. There are video games, computers and a million other distractions. None of these things are bad in and of themselves. We just need to practice them all in moderation.
We could fill this website with ways that can help you remain present. There are a few articles on here to do so. There are also books, cds and many other resources that could assist in this activity. My suggestion? Take time throughout the day to be an active observer of your environment. What this means is to notice every sound you hear. Note every smell that is in the air. Take time to really listen and appreciate those you are spending time with. When you eat, for example, slow down and notice subtle flavors, textures and scent of the food instead of trying to consume it quickly so you can move on to your next activity. I would LOVE to hear your suggestions for slowing down time and savoring the good moments.
This picture really sums things up quite well. Here is something to think about, the hourglasses in this picture could easily be reversed. As I was preparing to write this I learned a close childhood friend of mine passed away on his 41st birthday. It would be nice if we all had hourglasses or some other sign to know when our time was about to expire. Here is the thing that is rather sad, as people see that your time is drawing to a close they are more likely to tell you they love you, spend quality time with you and share emotionally with you.
Why is that sad? It is sad because we should not wait until the sand in our hourglass is running out to treat each other that way. It is easy to remember when your 80 year-old relative is in the hospital, but like the passing of my friend shows, it can be any time. Treating each other with dignity, compassion and respect should be a daily activity.
Here is another thought to ponder, not only are we unable to know when the sands of time are running low for those we love, but we never know how much sand we have left ourselves. Try asking yourself every morning if today was my last day what would I want to tell those I love? In what ways would I go out of my way to spread love? The crazy thing about asking that question is one day you will be right.
Building on our last post, this is another way of looking at how negative people can affect your life. When someone spends time gossiping or complaining to us that is like the $10 that was wasted. When we spend time upset or thinking about what they said, that is like throwing the other $86,390 away. Time, in fact, is worth far more than money. We can always find a way to earn more money but time, once it is gone, is gone forever. We never know when we will breath our last breath or something may happen to dramatically alter our lives. Is losing even more of our precious time here worth someone else’s negativity? That is like good money after bad as they say. When some of your time is wasted do not waste even more by being upset about it. Learn from it, use it and then move on.
Welcome to post number 1000 on Secret2anamazinglife.com. I never imagined I would get here. It has been many countless hours of reading, research and writing to get there. This has been time away from sleeping, relaxing and most importantly time with those I love. Writing happens to be one of the more solitary professions. As I reflect on the time that has passed since the beginning of the website you are reading, I am amazed on how much my life has changed. I am also amazed at how much of my life was wasted. Wasted on negative emotions such as worry, anger, frustration. Don’t get me wrong, all emotions have their place and can be useful for personal growth and learning. It is when we do not use those emotions in a healthy manner and instead stay in a negative state that we are quite honestly wasting our lives away. In this milestone post, we are going to change our life in 60 seconds. I suggest writing or printing out the above quote. You would be amazed at how much a printed reminder can turn our thinking around. I don’t expect you to trust me on this one. Prove it to yourself. Print this quote out, or write it in some colorful ink and place it somewhere you will see it several times a day. Put it in the car, by the coffee maker or across from the toilet. Wherever it is you will see it and read it. What next? Begin to try to be in a state of complete joy for just 60 seconds. How do you do this? That is a personal choice. Look at a picture of your spouse…or your dog…or the spouse or dog you wish you had. Read a funny joke. Remember a great moment you had with a friend. Think of an upcoming vacation you have planned. If you are reading this on the toilet think of how good you are feeling now. Just stay in joy for 60 seconds. The more often we do this the more our lives will improve. Joy attracts Joy. Without going to much into the law of attraction, like attracts like so it will do you good to feel as good as much as possible. The real challenge is being able to do this when you find yourself in a challenging situation. That will come in time. For right now just experience joy 60 seconds at a time. These minute-long mental vacations will change your life! It will all happen in 60 seconds. On a personal note, it gives me great happiness to celebrate 1000 posts with you and I look forward to sharing ideas, inspiration and motivation in the next 1000! This will be something that will give me many 60 seconds of happiness. From the bottom of my heart, I want to send a big thank you to those of you who both read and support my efforts!
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 