Tag: thinking

AVOIDING EXACTLY WHAT WE NEED

I have discussed this topic with all of you before. It is a key tool that we all need for success, but as society advances it seems to become more and more rare. It will help us succeed and accomplish great things, yet it is shunned and looked upon as something negative. Do too much of this and people call you ‘unfocused’ or even ‘lazy’. It is something that I do daily, but do not use it productively. It costs nothing, but could offer a return that is very valuable.

What is the mystery tool of success we are discussing? It does not have a scientific name. At least as far as I am aware. The best term I have heard for it came from my friend Heidi who called it “Duh time”. Does not sound like a key to success, does it? What is ‘Duh Time’? Let me explain how it shows up in my life every morning. You may recognize it in your life as well. I wake up for work at 4am. At that hour, I confess to not being as sharp as I could be. One of the last things I do before leaving the house is put my shoes on. This should take mere minutes. Half awake, I sometimes just sit there staring blankly as if my brain is buffering. That is my ‘duh time’. Quickly, I admonish myself and get moving as not to be late.

 

What ‘duh time’ represents is an opportunity to allow our brain to organize itself. It is one of the only chances our subconscious mind has to send information to our conscious mind. It is where creativity lives and thrives. Have you ever noticed how when you lay down to sleep your brain is suddenly flooded with great ideas and answers you have worked to find for hours, days or perhaps longer? That is because we busy our minds with trivial matters in an attempt to feel some sort of progress. Now, with the advent of cell phones, even time that was normally used for this purpose has been filled with activity. This leads to stunted creativity and a mind screaming for a chance to rest and recharge.

Even when we experience an unplanned moment of ‘duh time’ such as my morning buffering, we view it with distain. We feel emotions such as guilt and shame that we are not doing something more ‘productive’. The ironic thing is that the more time we spend on focused and undistracted thought, the more productive we will be. In a world where hustle culture is praised, we forget that one thought could save us lots of hustling. This is not to say that work is not required for a successful life. Just that work backed by focused thought would be far more productive.

This quote above can be found, in some version or another, throughout history. It can be found in the bible, with many great philosophers and thinkers. Most of them thought they were the first ones to come up with the idea. What that translates to, is that this is one of the great truths of life. What we continue to focus our thoughts on, that is what we will become. What happens if we do not take time to focus our thoughts at all? Then, it will be very difficult for us to become much at all. That is why allowing ourselves time to think is so important. If you find yourself thinking, “Neil, where on earth am I going to find this time?” I get it. As someone who works 40+ hours a week at a day job, is a DJ on the weekend, is working on his fourth book and now has posted daily over four years straight, time is a premium. If you are worried at making the most of the time you have, you need to devote some of it to letting your mind wander.

Our minds are able to accomplish amazing things, but we must provide them the opportunity to do so. We cannot rely on that moment before we fall asleep, or when we find ourselves in the shower, to let our minds speak to us. First, those moments are not very convenient for recording the information we come up with. Are you really going to get out of bed and write down what you are thinking? Do you have a pen and paper in the shower? What we need is to provide ourselves with a digitally free moment of contemplation. Try this for thirty days. Give yourself a dedicated 30 minutes or more a day for mental gymnastics. You will be amazed at what you come up with. You can do this while you wait in line at the grocery store. Maybe a walk after dinner. Just make sure whenever you do so you have no distractions. Also make sure you record the thoughts that come to you. Many of them will end up being worthless, but it only takes one good thought to change your life.

1 THING YOU NEED FOR A SUCCESSFUL LIFE

“Who is this charming and handsome man?” you may be asking yourself. This is what I look like when I am supposed to be writing. At this moment there was a little flash rainstorm and I was looking out watching it. What was even more important was where my head was at. I was thinking of my life. Not only was I just pondering it, but I was thinking of all I have to be grateful for in it. I was sitting inside, dry and comfortable. I was working on my fourth book. At least that was what I was intending to do. My mind was filled with these positive distractions.

Many of us, myself included, view these moments as a mistake. Perhaps a hiccup on the road to productivity. The ironic thing is that we, as a society, need more moments like this. We are so busy trying to get so much done that we do not give ourselves the one requirement that would help us the greatest. That requirement is time to sit and think. With all that I have going on in my life, I do not take this time enough. I work 40+ hours a week at my day job, DJ on the weekend, write this website and, as mentioned above, am writing my fourth book. Moments of relaxation and contemplation are viewed as some sort of guilty pleasure. That is the emotion that comes up often when enjoying a moment of cerebral solitude – guilt. This time could be used for doing something productive. It could even be used to spend time with the woman I love. At the very least, I could use it to catch up on the sleep I never seem to fit into my schedule.

Here is the crazy part of all of this. This unproductive time will help me do everything better! Many of the best ideas for writing that I have came to me in moments where my mind was free to express them. That is true for both the website you are now reading as well as my books. As far as my relationship goes, that was one of the things I was thinking of. My lady had sent me a picture of her earlier and I swear she looks younger and more beautiful every day! She is amazing cook and we are going to have a great meal tonight! Do you think spending a few minutes thinking thoughts like that are likely to help or hurt my relationship? It will not only make me feel good, but increase my gratitude for both the relationship and the lady I share it with. By allowing these thoughts to manifest themselves while I am awake, I may even be able to sleep a little better. Have you ever laid down at night, your body ready to collapse, only to have your mind be flooded with a million thoughts? That is because they finally have a chance to manifest themselves. We are so ‘busy’ during the day we never have time to listen to our own thoughts.

Do yourself a favor today. Spend a few moments just sitting and thinking. You will be amazed at what might pop in your head! If you want to level up even more, maybe jot it down in a journal. It is like having a conversation with yourself. Will people think you are crazy? Perhaps. Just remember there is a thin line between genius and insanity. Looking at the picture above, I am not sure which side of the line I fall on. What I am sure of is that giving my mind time to let loose will only improve my life and it will do the same in yours!

WHAT ARE YOU THINKING ABOUT?

This great stoic quote speaks to a power many of us leave to chance. When was the last time you paid attention to your thoughts? Many people feel their thoughts are something that are thrust upon them. That they come out of nowhere.

Let us take it a step further. When was the last time you decided what you were going to think about? Yes, you really can do this. It can be very beneficial to set aside at the very least, 5 to 10 minutes a day to do some focused thinking. It can be thinking about what you are grateful for. This could change your life faster than you can imagine. It could be thinking about how it will feel when a goal is reached or accomplished.

We think an average of 60,000 thoughts a day. According to research 80% of that is negative. Further research indicates that 95% of our thoughts are repetitive! Think about that. We are thinking 95% of the same things, 80% of which are negative, and wondering why our life is not improving or changing.

By not utilizing focused thinking, I feel we are missing a great opportunity. Setting aside 5 minutes a day, which is less than .5% of your day, can make a huge difference. What if you used those minutes as a chance to practice some positive self-talk? How about picking someone we love and spending 5 minutes thinking about how we can improve our relationship with them? The difference could be life-changing!

Let me know what you will spend your 5 minutes thinking about.

THERE ARE ONLY 2 PROBLEMS ✌️

Life is a balance. This quote is a good representation. I think most of us fall on either side of this equation. How about you? Do you act without engaging your thinking apparatus? Perhaps opening your mouth while keeping your mind shut? Perhaps you are someone who sits on the sideline wargaming everything but never engaging in action? Worried about making the wrong decision so you never make any decision at all.

Next time you are facing a challenge in your life, ask yourself which one of these two camps you fall in. Are you acting without thinking things through? Maybe you are spending too much time in your head and need to get out there and start taking more action. Even if the action you take is incorrect, you will certainly learn that quicker than if you never acted in the first place. Can it really be this simple? Find out for yourself. Next time you are challenged, ask yourself if you need to act or to think more.

MY MOST IRONIC POST YET

Going into the new year a lot of us think of things we would like to change about ourselves or our lives. If you follow my work at all one of the axioms I base my work on is that it is far more productive and successful to add positive things to your life, than to work on removing negative. Just how the brain is wired. Recently, I sat down with Margie and discussed things I would like to add to my life in the coming year. This is where this post becomes ironic.

I told Margie there are three things I would like to get better at in 2018. I would like to spend more time both reading and writing, I would like to spend more time in nature (hiking, camping or even just sitting), lastly, I would like to spend more time just thinking.  When composing my last book it was often just sitting in a park watching the birds, or Starbucks sipping a coffee pondering life’s great mysteries that some of my best ideas came to me. As any supportive spouse would do, Margie simply replied (she has a gift of keeping things simple which is very helpful dating someone like myself) “Well you should do that then.”

In an effort to quickly make use of this sentiment of hers before it changed I decided to do that today. I had a survey I had to complete, then I was just going to relax and think. The advantages of this is that it engages your subconscious mind to begin thinking about what you are pondering. This is especially useful if you are spending time on things like worthwhile goals you are aspiring to, ways in which you can be of more service to your world, or even just how to make someone’s day brighter. What happens is your subconscious mind will begin to think of this very thing, and continue to do so in the background while you go about your day. Then, at what seems like an random moment, an idea will pop in your head that is a solution to what you had been pondering. This works especially well if you are an author.

Do you see my dilemma with this? As this idea occurred to me, another voice in my head spoke up. It never amazes me how many there seems to be in there. This voice said, “You should write a blog and let everyone else know this.” Which, as you can tell by what you are reading I decided to follow.

As ironic as writing about taking time away from writing is, it brought to like another principle I spoke about at my last author symposium. When we use our brains the in the same fashion over and over, like finding daily things to be grateful for, we begin to train them to do so on their own. Before long, even if it is subconsciously, the voices in our head (assuming you have more than one like myself) will begin to ask, “What can we be grateful for?” Same holds true with me being diligent in my writing and spending over twenty years looking for ways to improve life and then sharing them with others.

My message for you hear is to take time to just think, but know it may be a struggle with yourself at first. I am going to prepare to DJ now, so I will continue to work on carving away time to think again tomorrow. Have a great week my friends!