Tag: success

2 THINGS ESSENTIAL FOR SUCESS IN ANYTHING 

In life, love, business and any other venture there are two things that are essential to possess if you hope to succeed. The only cost associated with them is time and effort. If you have these two things you are all but guaranteed to accomplish what you set out to do. Still most people begin projects,relationships and jobs without one or either of them. Some have a vague not powerful version of them. This leads to ‘treading water’ in situations.

Ok, so what are these two things and how can we all get them? They are a goal and a purpose, sometimes referred to as a ‘why’? Think about playing a game. If you did not know how to win or what outcome you were going after how likely would it be that you would win? How about going on a trip? If you didn’t know where you were headed how would you know if you are going in the right direction? In both circumstances the journey would be far more enjoyable if you knew the end game. 

Now on to the second thing, purpose or the why. Having a goal or an outcome we are going towards is a great start, but what happens when obstacles show up? What separates the people who give up from the people who keep going? It is their why.  To say you want to be rich,  for example, will only keep you motivated so long. Focusing on the freedom the money will give you, or all the sick children/animals you could help. Now that will keep you going. 

Here is the takeaway, next time you find yourself on the way to meet a friend for coffee ask yourself “what do I hope to get out of this meeting?”. Perhaps it is to convey how much you enjoy your friend’s company. Perhaps it is to thank them for being a good friend. Maybe it is just to relax and and enjoy the great conversation your friend supplies. Now ask yourself why this is so important. Perhaps your friend knowing how much they mean to you will strengthen your friendship? Perhaps relaxing and enjoying conversation and coffee will allow you to face the world a little better tomorrow. 

If we know what we want out of our lives we are far more likely to get it.  It will also be easier to see when things need improvement. Imagine how much more successful our jobs, our relationships and our lives would be if we only spent a few moments of contemplation as to what we would like out of them and why that is important to us. Doing these two things will change our lives for the better and do so quickly. 

WHAT NOT TO DO!

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I love this post because it points out something very important, there is a recipe for both success and failure. If you do the three things mentioned above life will suck, period. Number one, complain about everything, does little to change anything for the better. What it does do is put our focus on what is not working. This in itself is not a bad thing, we need to focus on what is not working in order to be able to correct it. However, complaining is seldom if ever solution oriented. It is actually totally useless. In fact, it is worse than totally useless. When you complain for a long period of time you are thinking and vocalizing what is wrong in your life, with the world, or with someone else you think should be living differently. You leave the conversation feeling worse than when you started. As for anyone who is listening to you they also feel worse and very well may look to avoid conversations with you in the future. This would only add to the negative and thus, life would suck more

Number two, blaming others for your problems we will deal with in the next post. What we can say about it here is that it often leads to number one. It also contributes to number three. Worse it does something that makes you feel even worse, but again we will discuss that tomorrow.

Number three, never be grateful, is a joy killer. When you fail to appreciate what you have in life, that leaves you to focus on what you do not have. How does this leave you feeling? Like your life is a state of lack. You always feel that your life is missing something. That also would suck.

So at the risk of this sounding negative this post also gives us the recipe for success. How? In the face of every negative situation, there is the seed of a positive one. In this case just do the opposite of those three. Reduce the amount of complaining you do and focus on what is going right and how to solve what is not working. Accept responsibility for your role in your life’s problems, and always, always find something to be grateful for. Those are the three ways to succeed in life.

If you found this read helpful or inspiring please feel free to share/like and comment. Tell all your friends about secret2anamazinglife.com Let us all work together to make the work a more positive place.

THE WORD OF THE DAY IS

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Here is a word I have been accused of using way to often. In reflection there is a lot of truth to that. Even this site is called secret2anamazinglife For a while I began trying to use different words. ‘wonderful’ ‘great’ were some I chose. None really fit the bill, and before long the word ‘amazing’ was coming out of my mouth quite often.

I began to think about why this is. I know it began when trying to think of a name for this site. Amazing seemed to have the power I was looking for. So why do I use it so much? that is a good question. I realized that I view a good amount of things in my life as amazing. I also know that the words you use most often can have a great impact on your life. This is more true than many people believe. Here is a quick test. think of these 3 phrases, perhaps even say them out loud if you happen to be alone or don’t care if people think you are sane or not. First, say “I did something stupid” We have all done something stupid. Said something without thinking. Put our sweater on backwards(I did this just the other day). Ok, now the second one. Say to yourself, or out loud “I am being stupid” There have all been moments I’m sure we felt like this. You are in a bad mood and just acting difficult. Perhaps you have had too much rum and are doing several things you may regret in the morning? Doesn’t it feel different than doing something stupid? A little more intense? Ok, now the last one. Say to yourself or out loud “I am stupid”. How do you feel? hurt? sad? See there is a difference between “Doing something stupid” “feeling stupid” and “Being stupid”.

So how can we use this to improve our lives? Think of times you use the same word. A greeting perhaps? Then think of how you want your life to be. When people ask how I am doing, my answer is almost never ‘fine’ or ‘good’ it is usually ‘living the dream’ ‘legendary’ or yes, ‘amazing’. Words have emotional power. Find some you would like to include in your life and try using them.

If you enjoyed what you read here or find it to be amazing, please share and tell your friends about http://www.secret2anamazinglife.com

THE RICH GET RICHER . ..

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We have all heard this expression, “the rich get richer while the poor get poorer”. This works for a lot of different situations other than money. At first glance this may seem and sound unfair, but upon closer examination it is actually very helpful.

This was brought home by a conversation I had with a new coworker of mine. We were discussing his online classes and he mentioned how one teacher only dictated and there was no interaction. I asked him what he liked least about that. What he told me really got me thinking. He said the part he liked least was the inability to perceive emotion. He said the lesson could really be interpreted differently depending on what mood he was in. He then gave me the example of how if someone sends you and email and you open it in an anger mood some of what they say could seem confrontational where the same email opened in a pleasant mood would not draw those same conclusions.

Here is the interesting part of all this. The same is true on the opposite side. What really is powerful is the fact that this is a self-fulfilling lifestyle. What do I mean about this? Let us play this situation out. You wake up in a bad mood. You start the day by checking your emails. A friend sent you an email letting you know they can’t make the dinner you had planned later in the week. Great you think, he can’t even call me? You feel a little rejected. You grab your coffee and go off to work. “Damn why can’t the car be warm already?” you find yourself thinking. My coffee won’t stay warm for long you think. You begin to think about everything you dislike your job. Suddenly you just want to turn around and go back home to bed. By the time you reach work you are in a less than pleasant state. As you walk in a coworker greets you with a nod. “can’t even say good morning?” Nobody has time for being pleasant you say. This is just the beginning of your day.

Now let’s look at the opposite. You wake up after a good nights sleep in a pleasant mood. You start your day by checking your emails. A friend sent you an email to let you know they can’t make it to the dinner you planned next week. Nice of them to let me know and not just show up, you think. I really must plan something with Joe you say. Feeling grateful your friend let you know ahead of time. You leave feeling thankful for having such considerate friends. You grab your coffee and head off to work. “Damn it’s cold out here, glad I have a car to drive to work” As your driving you are thankful for your hot coffee until the car warms up. By the time you reach work you are feeling pretty good about how many amazing things you have in your life. A coworker greets you with a nod. “Nice he noticed me” you think. feeling you have friendly coworkers. This is just the beginning of your day.

Notice, none of the situations on the outside changed. Just your perception of them and how they made you feel. This may seem extreme to you but it really is not. Being in a bad mood does more than just color your view of the world, it also may cause you to miss out on certain opportunities that may present themselves or friendships that may be available. This is why some of the most successful people tend to be the happiest. It is not because they are grateful they have everything it is because they are grateful for everything they have! This is why it is important to foster an attitude of gratitude and happiness as soon as we are able. Feel free to use the tools presented in this blog as well as discover your own. Also feel free to share any you have in comments below for other readers.

This is why the happy tend to get happier. If you enjoy what you read here please feel free to let us know and to share this with all of your friends.

EMPOWER YOUR LIFE!

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Here is your weekend homework. I promise this one will be fun! What are you good at? Last post we looked at what was great about us. Now let’s look at those skills and look at what we do great. I mentioned I enjoy talking to people. What can I do well with that? I can help people who feel lonely. I can use that to inspire people. I listed I love reading and learning new knowledge. What can I do with that? I could read to shut ins, I could read to children, I could share what I learn with people who would like to know.

Ok, so take the list you created yesterday and look at the things that you feel are great about yourself and think about how you can use them. Even if you can’t come up with an answer right now, start thinking about that. Let the thought bounce around your head. Then as you go through your day look for ways to bring what is great about you to the world. This does two very important things. First, it will bring something beautiful to the world. If it is something you are naturally good at, it will shine. People will appreciate you sharing it with them.

Second, it will make your life seem easier. It is naturally what you are good at so while you are working at it you will feel inspired not obligated. You will work harder than something that doesn’t inspire you. You will excel at a rate that will amaze even yourself. By all of this happening you will hear people begin to compliment you. You will be doing something you enjoy so you will have a smile on your face and in your heart. People will pick up on that. You will be sharing your gift with the world and making the world a better place.

So that is this weekends homework. Be on the lookout for ways to use your talents and passions in life. Is it through a side business? Maybe a hobby? In my case I love helping people see the beauty in themselves and the world around them. I do that through this blog, I do it through my first book A Happy Life for Busy People I will continue to do so in my second book. I also realize I can do that while I am working at the post office with  my coworkers, while I am DJing as people perform, while I am bartending and serving people cocktails. Here is the greatest thing, while I am doing so I am not only sharing my gift with the world and helping them feel amazing, guess how I feel when I am doing it? That’s right I am feel amazing. It turns any situation into one filled with passion and joy. So find your talents. Find out what is great about you and then find ways to share that with the world. If you need any help with ideas feel free to post here and we will all work together to bring your beauty to the world!

ANOTHER BENEFIT OF FOCUS

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Yesterday we talked about the importance of focus. Here is a picture of me from last Friday. Why does me sitting in front of a DJ board have to do with focus? Just about everything. Let me explain. I normally DJ with my lovely lady who has been doing just such a thing for over 15 years. When something goes crazy, she knows what button to push, or what plug may be lose. On this evening she had to focus on her goal of creating designer cakes which is another one of her amazing talents. So there I was alone for the first time as a DJ. If I had focused on everything that could go wrong and how much I still have to learn that evening would have been a disaster, but I decided to focus on what I did have and what was working for me. The owner of the bar is also a DJ and could help if I needed. My lady was only a phone call away. The people that attend our shows are very understanding if I were to make a mistake.

When I tell people about looking at what is working instead of what is not I hear a lot of things about living in a fantasy world, or not admitting things are wrong. That is not at all what this is about. It is important to realize what is not working so you can be on the lookout for a solution. Just don’t live there. Once we know what is not right we can begin to work on making it right and begin to look for what is working. We do not have to focus on how terrible things are and what we lack, when all of us, no matter what our situation is, has so much. So is this a fantasy world? No. There is nothing less true about what is working than what is not.

This has more to do with feeling. Seeing what is both bad and good in any situation and choosing to focus on the good not only helps you feel better and enjoy your life more, but also helps you see solutions better and accomplish more. Why? Let me ask you when are you more productive when you are happy or when you are sad?

Here are two examples to prove this theory and an experiment you can try to prove this to yourself. Recently I dislocated my shoulder. I had to miss a few days of work. My job gave me a lot of grief. I have to ask for help doing the most basic activities. If I focus on this, which does happen on occasion, I feel frustrated. I really start to dislike both my job and my boss who has been not very understanding. In that same breath, that feeling has me focused on completing my schooling and moving forward with that. It has me realizing how many great people around me who are willing to help me with all of my needs. Both of those are equally real. Looking at my current situation either way would be true, but one feels a hell of a lot better. That is a big difference between living a life that feels great and one that feels terrible.

Ok, one more example and you can try this yourself with your current situation. Look around and find everything about your situation that sucks. I am writing to you from Starbucks. The door keeps opening because people are coming in and out. It is loud and a bit hard to concentrate. The coffee is rather pricy. They are a corporate giant that can put some small coffee shops out of business. These are all true. If I were to focus on this I would be having a rather uninspired time here. Ok, now look at your situation and find everything good about it. In my case, they have free internet I can use without having to pay for it. The have a reward program where every 12th drink is free. With my reward card I can get a refill on my high quality coffee for less than a dollar. The people who work here including my friend Kenny are both helpful and amazing. They are a corporate giant allowing them to offer these things at many locations which are always close to where I am.

Both of those views are true. One feels good and helps me enjoy life, the other does not. Try it yourself in your current situation.

ALL ABOUT FOCUS

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Let’s talk about what I consider one of the greatest skills one can master and that is focus. I used to give a passing fancy to the subject of focus but recent events and conversations with friends has changed the importance of focus. When I started thinking of it and reflecting on my past it became clear how much of a role focus played.

Have you ever felt like you could have 48 hours in a day and still not get everything you need done? I am sure we all have. One major reason we seem to resemble the hamster in a wheel just running in place and not going anywhere is our focus, or should I say lack of focus. You are starting to clean the house, but then you think of something you wanted to check on Facebook. An hour and several videos about your friend’s pets you realize pretty soon you have to start dinner. You start making dinner and a friend sends you a text about going to lunch. You tell her about how you spent all day trying to clean the house and didn’t get anywhere. 12 messages back and forth and dinner is on pace to be served at midnight.

We all have days like this. Myself included. We have all had the opposite days though, haven’t we? You know when we get lost planting the garden and are suddenly interrupted and look up and have all the rows planted. How does this happen? Focus. When we are focused on the end goal and keep that in front of us our actions become more focused. So how do we stay focused on committed to our goal? I have found something that works for me. Two things really. First, whether it is cleaning the house or getting in shape, create a strong ‘Why’ this will be discussed in greater detail in my next book, but here is the nuts and bolts. WRITE DOWN both what you will gain by doing what you are striving for, and what you will lose by not doing it. I know what you are thinking “So you are giving me even more to do, that is not going to help” Well taking five minutes to do this step will save you stress and grief going forward. I capitalized the first part of that statement because writing it down, especially when it comes to a goal that needs to maintain focus on for long periods of time it is essential to not only keep your goal in front of you but the reasons you need to get it done. Then when your cell phone starts talking to you send it right to voicemail. As Eric Thomas one of my favorite motivational speakers says “most of us would be more successful if we gave up our phone” So keep your goals and reasons in front of you. do this for a week and see what happens. There is one more thing you can do that I learned from major league athletes.

If I were to ask you, “who is the greatest of all time?” A lot of us, especially those of us who follow sports think of Muhammad Ali. Why would we think that? Because he told everybody. More importantly he told himself. That is what he focused on, being the greatest of all time. That is what we all need to do. We need to tell each other and ourselves that we are going to accomplish our goals. Les Brown, another one of my favorite speakers tells us to let ourselves “you got the right stuff” Put that on the mirror. There will be more about becoming the legends we were born to be. For now, focus on what you have to accomplish and why and enjoy the ease in which it seems to happen.

LIVE ON PURPOSE

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Here is your Friday post and yes it will come with some weekend homework. Do you ever feel like something is missing in your life? Do you ever get frustrated life seems to be passing you by? Do you ever get the feeling it all amounts to nothing?
I used to feel that way quite often. Seems like you are working just to survive. I say used to because one of the secrets to the amazing life cures all of these feelings. What is that? Purpose! You need to find a bigger purpose in life than just working to pay the bills. Being a part of a purpose bigger than yourself gives you an opportunity to make a difference.  To have a sense of meaning and fulfillment.  Now I am not saying you need to quit your job and join the peace Corp, but think of what really gets your blood pumping. Is it painting? Environmental issues? Feeding the poor? Maybe you’ve always wanted to write a book. Whatever that purpose is begin to pursue it. Not only will you find life becomes sweeter, but oftentimes you may find a whole new life waiting for you.
So this weekend your homework is two fold. First, find your purpose. Find what speaks to your heart, your passion, your bliss. Then, find a way, even part time, that you can pursue that. Your life will never be the same.

THE RICHES OF GRATITUDE

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This is a quote from Oprah Winfrey, one of the wealthiest women in the world. In a day when we stop to give thanks she certainly has a lot to be thankful for. Before you start with feelings of jealousy or envy you may want to research her story. I’ll spare you the details but tell you she didn’t always have it all.
So what does this have to do with you and I? Are we saying here of you are grateful you will be as rich as Oprah? Yes and no. I cannot promise you the money, although that may very well come, but i can promise a feeling of wealth if you develop an attitude of gratitude.  How do you do this?
Here is a very powerful exercise i share at my seminar. It will literally change your life in a major way in a short time.  I know because i owe the turn around on my own life a great deal to this very practice. It is simple but extremely powerful.
Here it goes. Get a pen and paper and write five things you are grateful for and why. Ten sentences. Then read those ten sentences before you go to bed and first thing in the morning.  Takes all of 3 minutes at the most. Not too hard so far right? Here is where the magic happens. Everyday write one more thing you are grateful for and why. Then continue to read your list before bed and first thing in the morning. This does two very interesting things. One, it keeps you focused on what is working on your life and two, it trains your brain to be on the lookout for things to be grateful for. Do this for three weeks. Even take the
weekends off if you like. I promise you after three weeks your life will never be the same! I invite you to share your results in the comments below

STRIKE WHILE THE IRON IS HOT

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Tonight, or more accurately this morning I told my lovely lady “you should write a book entitled my life with a motivational speaker” some of you may chuckle at that thought, but as I write this it is 3 am and I woke up with a million thoughts for my books, blogs and seminars. I began to rattle them off to her so fast she lovingly just touched my hand and said go write them down. So here I sit typing with one arm because I recently dislocated my shoulder at 3 am in our living room. Why? As my little lady knows because I love the grind. You must want success more than you want sleep. You must want to study more than you want to play on Facebook. Give today your all and watch what tomorrow gives back to you!
A special shout out to my lady for understanding my need to work when inspiration strikes even if it is at 3 am