Tag: stress reduction

QUICK MONDAY BOOST

It is Monday. We have probably all worked very hard and the last thing we want to do is read a long blog post. Today we will just feature this handy list that might be worth printing out. Energy gainers and energy drainers. As the week goes on we will need more of the first and less of the second. Take a look at the two lists. There are some you might have thought of and some you might not. I am going to give you some from each list I am going to work on. I would love to hear yours in the comments below.

From the energy gainer list, first up I am going to use gratitude. A few post ago we touched on a new way to infuse more gratitude into our lives. This is a good idea no matter who you are. The benefits of being grateful could fill a book and has on several occasions. The new way we talked about was creating a gratitude picture folder on your phone. I am going to work on adding to mine and make it a point to look at the pictures of things I am grateful for at least once a day. The second one I am going to use is meditation. I normally meditate before falling asleep, but I am going to take a few minutes each day for a ten minute meditation. This doesn’t have to be complicated. You can even just close your eyes and count your breath. There are also plenty of meditations on YouTube you can just push play and away you go.

In the energy draining department, I am going to work on eliminating more news. With current political events, news is everywhere and it is seldom good. Avoiding it and focusing on news of friends and family would be far less stressful. I am also going to work on cleaning up some clutter. We may not think of this as an energy drainer, but it can be a big one. Looking at the paperwork you have stacked up, or little things you have to go through can sap your energy in a hurry.

These are my energy gainers and drainers I am going to focus on. How about you? Which ones jumped out at you? I would love to hear your answers in the comments below.

HIDDEN MEDICINE 💊

Last post we talked about what to do when you lose faith in humanity. Sadly, this can happen all to easy. In this country there is an election right around the corner and both major political parties are doing their best to convince us how terrible the other person is and how terrible the country and the world would be if the opposition wins. It wouldn’t be so bad if you could avoid these ads, but they are literally everywhere! On television, online, in your mail box, text, calling, radio, in your mailbox. I swear they would put it on toilet paper if they could. Come to think of it, that is probably where most of it belongs.

The point of all this is that there is a lot of negativity about in the world. Even doing our best to avoid it, we still can become overwhelmed at times. Then what? Last post we looked at some great solutions and I invite you to read them. One important thing we could all use is our space. What I mean is a place that you can escape to that brings you a great deal of inner peace. Above is a picture I took on the way to mine. Nature can bring so much peace and makes a great escape. It can be any place that is special to you. It can be a church, a coffee shop, a park or anything at all. Visit it as often as you need. I had been neglecting that, but went to my spot today. I just sat among the trees and birds and listened to the wind. In no time I felt more at peace than I had in a long time.

Here is a picture from inside my little spot. It helps to be able to meditate in your own way. The benefits of meditation are too many to list here. It does help reduce stress and help you feel grounded. Two very important things when you are feeling overwhelmed. This doesn’t have to be anything complex. Just being fully present and away from distractions will do. You can listen to nature like I did. You can pray. You can pay attention to your breathing. Whatever works for you.

If you do not have a place already, pick one out today. Try a few out. You can never have too many. The best time to find one is before you need it. Then, when the world knocks you over, you can retreat and heal your spirit. It is not only helpful, it is vital.

DO NOT SUFFER MORE THAN NECESSARY 😢

Here is a fresh reminder to do your best to keep things in perspective. We often suffer dreading an upcoming event long before the event occurs. This only extends the time we spent in suffering. This may seem like something only a fool would do. To that end, I would like to ask you if you can recall the days leading up to your last dental appointment? How about your last proctology exam? Hopefully they were two different doctors. We can get ourselves all worked up, and end up have a nearly painless experience. Then again, it may not be painless, but what has worrying and suffering before the experience done other than to serve us up an additional helping of suffering?

Instead, I would encourage you to focus on the best possible outcomes of any situation. Not only will this help reduce the stress before hand, but may also help manifest a better outcome. You can always focus on the long-term result. Such as the dentist. It may hurt in the short term, but you will end up feeling better, and usually looking better, in the long term.

Do not suffer the needless in your mind. Focus on both the long-term results as well as the best possible outcome. This is one of many ways to reduce stress in our lives.

SUFFER LESS😬

This really is one of the secrets to living an amazing life. Not to spend too much energy on things we cannot control. Instead of worrying about whether someone likes you or not, spend more time on making yourself the best you can be. That way, if anyone doesn’t like you, it is more about them than about you. Most of have heard the saying, “I might not be everyone’s cup of tea.” Here is one to consider. You could be the best cup of tea ever, and there will still be people who don’t like tea. I am a coffee person myself. That is to say, you could be amazing and some people still may not like you. Maybe they have prejudices or preconceived notions that have nothing to do with you.

Another example is focusing on what you can control in an uncontrollable situation. I dislike cold and winter. As I write this, I am looking outside at snow blowing and temperatures below freezing. Try as hard as I might, I cannot control the weather. What I can control is making sure I have warm clothes and a cup of hot coffee, as mentioned above. I also plan trips to warm destinations and try to convince the love of my life that spending the winters in the tropics is a far better idea. It is what I can control in a situation that I cannot control. Focusing on those things instead of trying to change the weather is a lot less stressful and a lot more productive.

Save yourself some stress and focus on what you can change. When you seem to be facing a challenge that is beyond your control, ask yourself, “What can I control in this situation that is beyond my control?” You may not be able to control your job downsizing, but you can control polishing your skills and networking to place yourself in a better position. You cannot control the economy at large, but you can control your own personal economy. Stress less. Worry less. Control what you can.

WHAT IS YOUR MAJOR? 🎓

As I mentioned earlier, these posts are coming to you while I am on vacation in the tropics with the beautiful Margie. One of the great things about both vacation and the tropics is the fact that nobody seems to ‘sweat the small stuff’ as they say. In fact, there is a term called Island time which means things move at their own pace.

This slower pace can be frustrating to visitors at first. Considering that the leading cause of death in the developed world is heart disease, and the leading cause of that is stress, you think we would relish slowing down. Still, people seem to want everything yesterday.

After a few days on vacation, some of us adjust to island time. It not only involves slowing down, be prioritizing. You have to wait a little longer for your drink? Who cares? You’re relaxing on the beach. The restaurant you wanted to eat at is full? No worries. There is a great stand on the beach.

The small annoyances of life seem to fade away, which is where they belong. When we return to ‘normal life’ it would serve us well to keep this mentality. The restaurant we booked lost our reservation? Who cares? I’m still with the person I love having dinner. Someone cut us off in traffic? At least we are safer than they are.

This change in priority will reduce stress, increase joy and allow us to be the best version of ourselves. When we major in minor things, we are constantly filled with stress and worry.

A SIMPLE FORMULA 🧪

Sometimes we over complicate life. When it comes to finding more joy and less stress, it can often be as simple as prioritizing the things that bring us joy. I wouldn’t even worry so much about reducing the things that bring us stress. If we just focus as much of our energy as we can to finding and doing things that bring us joy, the stressful stuff will naturally begin to fall away.

How about you? What brings you joy? What makes your heart soar?

TAKE YOURSELF AWAY..🏝

One of the great secrets that I use to make through tough times is taking mini mental vacations. I often tell people that your mind and your body do not have to be in the same place at the same time.

Mini mental vacations can be done in a variety of different ways. You can put on headphones and listen to ocean waves. You can take a short trip to a tanning booth in the middle of winter. You can use some vanilla and coconut essential oils. You could do all 3 at the same time! Having pictures of places you want to visit helps as well. Whatever you can do to take yourself there mentally.

This week, give yourself a mini mental vacation. Take some time to escape from the stress of the work week. It will be good for your health and good for your productivity in the long run.

MAKE SURE TO ADD THESE TO YOUR WEEKEND PLANS💯

Taking time to just enjoy the company of good friends is something that friends our soul. After work, stress and negativity fill our week and days, we need time with someone who lifts our spirits.

It is essential to not only have these people in our lives, but to spend time with them and appreciate them. Another great thing we can do is to be this kind of friend for others. Be someone who is a breath of fresh air to everyone they encounter. It is a gift that is priceless. Make time with people like that this weekend.

SECRET TO MY CALM 😌

When asked to describe me, I always find it interesting to hear what words people choose. I am always hoping for dashing, handsome, charming. Instead, I often hear words like calm, laid back and relaxed. Not the description of the gent on the cover of a romance novel, but not bad either. Usually, after giving such a review, I am asked the same question. It is usually some version of, “How do you remain that calm?” The answer is a simple one – I only give my emotions to that which is truly important to me. This is easy to understand, but to many, almost impossible to do.

This usually generates the follow up question, “How can you do that?” One of the ways I do that is to remind myself of how I used to be. Those who let other people and situations control them are putting control of their life at the mercy of others. You must ask yourself, “Do you want to control your life, or do you want others to?” If you are reading a blog dedicated to living an amazing life, my guess is you want to be in control over your own life. When we live in reaction, that is the opposite of what we are doing. I know. I used to live that way. It can leave you feeling like a ship in the ocean without a rudder. There is no way to steer your life and you are at the mercy of the wind and the waves.

It is important to understand that the same holds true of your own emotions. When you let yourself react to life and those in it, you are a slave to your emotions. They own you. People often tell me things like, “Neil, I can’t help if that is how things/people make me feel.” I get it. Life, and the people in it, are often less than ideal. That is an eloquent way of saying they can sometimes suck. While they have the freedom to act as awful as they please, what they don’t have the power to do is to make you feel any way other than how you choose to let them. This may sound difficult, but it really isn’t. Controlling our emotions can be done by understanding how they are formulated in the first place. What you feel is determined primarily by 2 factors. What you focus on, and what you decide it means.

Yes that person may have called you a racial slur or some insulting name. Are you going to focus on their ignorance or your truth? What does it mean to you? Does it mean the world is full of hatred? Does it mean you are less than? Does it mean that you have an opportunity to demonstrate a positive example for your race and make this person look foolish? Does it mean this person is serving as an emotional trainer to help you strengthen your compassion for the less-enlightened? That is also an eloquent way of saying having pity for the ignorant and stupid. There is nothing that infuriates someone trying to upset you than not allowing it. Not to mention, not getting upset about that which does not matter greatly reduces your own stress.

You will certainly be faced with situations in which you need to be emotionally involved. There are situations that disrupt your spirit and upset you. I was once told that the most important decision in fighting a battle, is whether it is worth fighting in the first place. You must ask yourself the same thing when you find yourself at the mercy of your own emotions. It is a fool who wastes his time trying to master others. The true power is learning to master yourself and your own emotions. That is the secret to my calm. That is a secret to an amazing life.

ONE DAY AT A TIME ⏰️

This is a great and valuable reminder. All too often in life we spend too much time working on, and focused on the future. I am not saying you should not have plans and goals, but not to find yourself prisoner to them. What on earth does that mean? So glad you asked. Let us say you are trying to write the next best-selling book. (mine is due out in late spring/early summer so stay tuned) If you remain focused on the fact that your book is not finished and how much more you have to do, life will have a very stressful and not so fun feel to it. Instead, do your best to make what you write everyday the best it can be.

If you will permit me to mix my analogies, it is like building a brick wall. If your focus is on how to build the best brick wall it can be overwhelming. If, however, you focus on how to lay the perfect brick each and every time, you will look up one day to find you have built the perfect brick wall. Life is the same way. People are concerned with controlling their future. That is good. The best way to control the future is to make each day the best it can be. If we do that, it is like the brick wall. If we just think about making each day the best it can be, one day we will look up to see we have built the perfect life.

The best part about this way of living is it reduces your stress. If all you focus on is the 24 hours you are given, the burden seems lighter. If you work hard to make each day the best it can be, it often makes tomorrow that much easier. This holds true in your job, your family, your health and nearly every other aspect of your life. Do your best to make today the best it can be. It is your greatest insurance for a better tomorrow.