This should be everyone’s goal. We all have those people in our social media circle we think would be amazing friends, and once we get them we discover they are a dark cloud to every bit of sunshine. Then we face the daunting task of not only avoiding being sucked into their tar pit of negativity, but how we can skillfully remove them from our associationwith the minimal amount of drama.
A better course of action would be to work on our own positivity. “But Neil, it is they who are negative.” I can hear many of you saying. That very well might be true, but are you radiating positivity at your maximum amount? Do you fall victim to lowering yourself to arguing with those sunshine-challenged souls? If you do, you have already lost.
Just like the quote above says, arguing in and of itself, is negative. Therefore, if you are engaged in it, you are sacrificingyour positivity. Instead, shine so bright and refuse to engage in their banter. It will not only frustrate them, which is a nice added bonus, it will also make them search for an easier target to commiserate with. We have all heard the saying “Misery loves company.” Well, if you refuse to be company, Misery will not love you so much.
The more positive your disposition, the more likely you are to attract like-minded people. Can you think of examples of this in your own life?
This quote could not be more accurate for the world today. Unlike any other time in history, there are so many distractions to keep us from focusing on our goals. As a writer I can tell you that this is true quite often. Usually, most of my writing is done in coffee shops. Today is a rare time in which I am writing from home. I do that for the simple reason that there are less distractions at the coffee shop. At home I look up and see household chores I am supposed to be doing. Maybe my beautiful lady walks by and I pause and appreciate how lucky I am. None of that exists at the coffee shop.
That is not to say that there are no distractions. I use my phone to do research on topics I am writing about on my laptop. As I am looking up something about how the subconscious mind works, I see that the Dalai Lama sent me a friend request. (This didn’t really happen, but would be cool) Suddenly I am scrolling through social media for several minutes. Then a man in a strange hat comes into the coffee shop and I pause to notice him. I glance to the parking lot to make sure some over-caffeinated soul does not back into my car. There are a million things that can take your attention away from your goal.
The secret is knowing this ahead of time and taking actions to block out the distractions. That could be plugging in your phone in the other room while you clean. It should be not texting while you are driving. You no doubt have your own examples. We need to see distractions for what they are – the enemy. We must take action like we would for any other enemy. We must be merciless. I can hear some of you saying, “But Neil, I need to take a break.” Well, how bad do you want the goal you are working towards? Understand the more you give into your distractions, the further away from your goal you are getting.
Make your goal a priority. My fourth book has been coming out for a while now. I must sit down and complete writing it. There are social events I will have to say ‘no’ to. Sleep might be a little less. Of course that will also be no time to see what uncle Fred has posted to his Facebook page. I would love to know what are some of the distractions that get to you the most and what ways have you found to help you stay focused. The more we share with each other, the more ideas we can have and the closer we will all be to living an amazing life.
I can see my mother, and many others who know me, rolling their eyes that I am writing this post. Truth is, I am not very good at getting rest. I average around 5 hours of sleep on any given night. About half of that on Sunday night. Like I have mentioned many times on this site, there is always opportunities to improve life and to learn. One of my main areas I could improve on is rest. As you can see, rest involves a lot more than sleep. Different aspects of our being require different kinds of rest. Looking at this list, I…well…kind of suck at all of them. Let us look at a few.
The type of rest that everyone knows is sleeping. Even though we all know about this, sleep deprivation is at an all-time high. As mentioned earlier, I am guilty as charged. It can seem like we have 36 hours of things to do in our 24 hours. What has become painfully obvious to me is that you are far less productive when you are lacking sleep. Not to mention the health risks this can bring on. These include, but are not limited to, increase risk of heart disease, increase risk of diabetes, obesity and depression. Not much good stuff there. Just thinking of that has me feeling tired. Quick note. That is not me in the picture. When I am sleeping my hair looks like Albert Einstein and Don King had a love child.
This is also not me. Not only am I not flexible enough to sit that way, but I do not look good in orange. Mental rest can be just as important as physical rest. I love meditating. There are so many great guided meditations on YouTube and different platforms. All you have to do is pop on headphones and push play. One of my favorites is a company called ‘Brain Sync’. I would encourage you to check them out. The benefits of just a few minutes of meditation are well documented. Even if meditation is not your thing, try a nice quiet walk, It is kind of like a form of meditation, but that is beside the point. What the point is, your brain needs rest just like your body.
Skipping to the bottom of our list from above, is sensory rest. We are bombarded with electronic stimulation from the moment we wake up (the alarm) to the moment we go to bed. Whether that is the radio in the car, listening to headphones at the gym, watching television or surfing the internet, take a break. Your mind may have important things to tell you that cannot get to the surface because there is too much stimulation. Do your best to set aside time each day to just sit and think You will be amazed at what comes to mind. When I am working on a book, I get more accomplished doing this that forcing myself to write. It seems to get the creative juices flowing.
Do yourself a favor and get some rest. Not just sleep, but rest in all of the areas listed above. My struggle is to stop working and get into bed. I am going to work on that. What area of rest do you struggle with the most? I would love to hear your answers and any suggestions you have to help the rest of us get more rest.
Isn’t it great when you receive some good news first thing in the morning? Maybe it is a phone call from a friend? A text from a loved one, or a greeting card in the mail? With modern technology, coupled with old-fashioned ideas, there are so many ways to send love.
Why bother sending love? In a world that seems to get crazier by the minute, sending someone some loving thoughts becomes a gift greater than ever. When you are sending thoughts to encourage, uplift and inspire someone, you are strengthening that relationship. Can you imagine how your life would change if you would send out one loving thought a day? That would be 365loving messages in a year!
Sending love can take a few seconds if it is a text, to a few minutes for a phone call or a greeting card. I suggest picking up a pack of cards and a book of stamps so you are prepared when the mood strikes. You will spend less then a half hour doing this in a week, yet you will drastically improve both your life and that of the recipient.
In my upcoming fourth book, I go into greater detail about how to do this and the benefits you will receive. I would love to hear about ways you send out love. Who knows, they may even make it into my next book! This week, try sending out at least one loving message a day of one kind or another. See the change it makes.
I cannot count the amount of time people tell me, “I’m giving up social media because it is too negative.” When I ask them who chooses what they see in their page, they just stare at me blankly. The truth is that we pick what pages and people, we subscribe to. If yoursdoesn’t inspire you, then you have the power to change it.
You can even subscribe to our Secret2anamazinglife.com Facebook page! That way you will have at least one inspiring post a day to look forward to. With the advent of AI,even what we talk about shows up on our phones and social media. How scary is it that you are discussing brands of sugar with your cake baking lady and suddenly you are seeing ads for sugar!
We can use all of this to our advantage. Subscribe to pages that inspire you and make you happy. Worried about your phone, and advertisers listening in on you? Then speak only of love and abundance. Not only do those things generally confuse our friends on Madison Avenue, you will also be flooded with more positive things!
This past Saturday, I attended a funeral for the mother of a gent I used to hang around with in the neighborhood many years ago. We had lost touch after his family had moved away when we were still young. It turns out that he manages a bakery not far from where I live. One that my mother likes to frequent quite often. As is the case in these situations, I wondered if this gentleman would even remember me. After our first introduction, I wasn’t clear if he recalled who I was. Understandable considering the stress of losing someone so close and how many years it had been. My purpose for being there was just to offer support and letting him know how many people care.
A few moments later, I was sitting having some of the snacks they had put out discussing things with my mother. She had known the family as well and went with me. As we were discussing the days gone by, my friend walked up to our table. “Do you know what I feel my children will never have that we had?” He inquired. I indicated that I did not know where he was going with this. “Having friends to just hang around with in the neighborhood.” He went on to mention another gent we often shared time with and things we did. It seemed to me that who I was might have dawned on him in the time since the introduction.
We went on to discuss how today’s kids spend a good deal more time online instead of in person. We undoubtedly sounded like two old men. The more I pondered the change in social interaction over the last few years, the more it astounds me. The sense of adventure that can be had taking your bicycle out with a few friends cannot be replicated online. Covid threw a further wrench into our ability to socially interact. This is not to say “Things were better back in my day.” We discussed how the internet and social media can keep us connected in ways that would have been impossible back in our day. He used the example of his wife discovering a ‘mom group’ that allowed her to connect with other mothers in the neighborhood. In this way technology can make face to face interaction easier. The trick is not to allow social media to replace face to face interactions all together.
I walked away thankful I could offer support to a friend in a very dark time. I was also grateful for the lessons and thoughts he shared with me. We must work to make sure that the generations to come still have a chance to explore with friends. As adults, we must make sure to blend in person social interaction with online interaction. We must also learn to treasure friendships that last throughout the years.
Last post, I mentioned a negative experience I had with a gentleman on social media. I wanted to revisit that story because it brought to mind another great secret to an amazing life. This man really did inspire a lot of good ideas. In case you did not read the last post, let me give you the tale in a nutshell. I wanted to share this site with my neighbors in hope that I could bring a lot of joy to those living in my city. I went to social media and shared a little story about this site and what everyone can find here. Careful to mention that it is indeed free.
That is when things took a turn I wasn’t quite expecting. This gentleman said that I was telling him what to think and he wanted no part of it. Explaining that this was not at all what this site was about did nothing to satisfy him. He then went on to state that I was an influencer looking to make money off of people for doing nothing. Reminding him the site is completely free and is just intended to bring positivity to people only prompted him to call me a liar. He was soon joined by a woman who echoed his feelings. Here is the ironic thing, neither of them even looked at the site.
My lady, in a desire to defend me, wanted to inform them of a bit more than what this site was all about. Informing her this was a waste of our energy and would only incite them further, she shortened her rebuff. Here is the crazy thing. These two people who have such a cynical view of the world, are exactly who could use this site the most. It may help them lift themselves out of the negative view they have of the world and those in it.
The ironic part is that they will be the last people to ever read it. This is something that I learned years ago as a bartender. You can bring knowledge, encouragement and inspiration to the masses. You can plant seeds of motivation and inspiration. For some souls, it is like throwing those seeds on concrete. It is the concrete parts of the world who could use the flowers the most, but if you spend your life and energy here, you are throwing your seeds on concrete. The chances anything will bloom are slim. It is certainly worth introducing everyone to the good you discover in life, but your energy is best served by sharing with those who are open and looking.
In life, it may feel like all of your efforts are not accomplishing much. Chances are there is nothing wrong with your efforts. You may just be tossing your seeds on concrete. That is not to say you should abandon those folks. Just spend most of your time, energy and seeds on those who will be open to your efforts.
Today in the United States, we celebrate this country’s independence. Our wonderful friends across the pond in England, I imagine not so much. Today’s post is about something a little more personal. Something that we should all be looking to celebrate – personal independence.
In the world we live in, there are far too many people doing things for social media likes, click bait and to strive for their 15 minutes of fame. Here is what many of them fail to realize. If you are doing something for the approval or attention of others, you have become indebted to them. They rule you. Of course we do not want to look at it that way. This does not stop it from being true. What we need are individuals who are brave enough to declare their own independence. Free from the opinions of people on social media. Free from the approval of the masses.
Few things are more painful than when you hear about a young person doing something because they wanted to be cool. Most of the time these things are dangerous, harmful to others or just stupid. All because they did not have the independence to do what they knew was the right and honorable thing to do.
Today, let us declare our independence. Let us do what we know is right and not what will get us likes. You cannot be truly free until you are free from the concerns of the opinions of others. We must be free to take the actions that will allow us to become the best versions of ourselves, even if they prove to be unpopular. There may not be fireworks or a parade, but personal independence is something worth celebrating.
Ah, social media, the blessing and curse of modern society. There are two great lessons in the example above. To get the most out of social media, and life in general, we are going to look at both of them. We will want to repost this as often as we can in an effort to help the social media experience be better across all platforms.
The first lesson should be obvious, but since there is such an example, it must not be. That is this – if you find something that you object to online, feel free NOT to comment on it. You could just scroll past. Also, drawing conclusions such as the ones our imaginary friend did above happens far too often. Especially during an exchange between what is, at least chronologically, two adults. On social media, and in life, because someone likes something, or perhaps does not like something, does not mean they are evil, have a plan to take over the world or any other conspiracy that people launch into.
The second, and slightly less obvious, lesson is that you do not need to share everything on social media. If it will not add to the good of the world, what is the sense of posting it? Perhaps it may start some disagreement such as above. As we noted earlier, the world is full of people just waiting to get offended by something. This is not to say you just restrict yourself, just ask what is the reason for you posting what you are about to share with the world. Are you someone constantly posting ‘anti’ things against causes you despise? What is the purpose of that? Do you honestly think you will change someone’s mind? I hate to ruin it for you, the answer is likely ‘no’.
In conclusion, while enjoying social media, do not feel compelled to comment on everything that may affect you emotionally in a negative way. If something inspires, motivates or just makes you happy, by all means thank the person. Ask yourself why you feel so compelled to comment and why something someone wrote on an online platform excites you so much? Could your energy be better spent on a task that would help take your life to the next level? Is getting so upset by some words on a screen really good for your health or your spirit? If you find yourself so upset, go for a walk in nature. Do a good deed for another. These actions will have you feeling far better than a juvenile back and forth online.
Who wouldn’t want to be loved by everyone? In a world where many people view their value on social media ‘likes’, it is important to consider this quote issued thousands of years ago. No matter where you stand on an issue. No matter how pure and good your intent is, you will face criticism. Can we remember, and more to the point respect, that others have a right to be different than us? It is what gives flavor and excitement to life. Can you imagine a world full of people just like us? It may sound good on the surface, but it would quickly spiral downward.
What would be so bad about everyone being the same? There would be no disagreements. While this is true, there would also be very little growth. There are also people who hold opinions that would harm others. Be that emotionally or physically. When we hear everyone being the same, most of us just assume that means that Betty and Bob would have to be just like us. None of us would stop and consider that we have have to become just like Betty or Bob. We may have to change our beliefs, our likes and dislikes. How would you like to be forced to do that? No? Than why should we expect anyone else to do the same for us?
When we receive criticism, it is important to remember this fact. All people are different and that is ok. We have all had different experiences and face different environments. A person born and raised in Fiji, for example, would have a much different view on life and what goes on in it, than myself. Although, if they would like to trade places for a bit, I would be down. Someone born in a single parent household verses a two parent household would be different. The list, as we can imagine, could be endless. Just remember, if you are going to say or do anything, there will be those who criticize and disagree. Also remember, that is just fine.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 