Tag: self improvement

OPENING A GIFT 🎁

Here is a thought I had inspired by bishop T.D. Jakes. I might have mentioned my sources are vast and varied. In a sermon he was giving, he said a line that struck me. I was reminded of this line the other day while pondering the meaning of life in the shower. That line was simply that people often do not open the gift because they do not like the wrapping.

To me, this means that often our greatest blessings grow from our greatest pains. In my own life, I know when I found myself at one of my lowest points, I met the woman who would, and continues to, change my life in ways I could never imagine. I do not think I could have learned, or more to the point appreciated, the gifts that she gave me without going through the pain I did. Many of my wounds in life were self-inflicted. To a point, I think we can all claim that. We look back and wish we would have spoke and acted different. In reflection we can see that sting of regret is often the catalyst to improved outlook and behavior.

There is a big difference between reading something in a self-improvement book and feeling the emotions of going through it. If we could look at our life from afar, I am sure none of us would choose painful experiences. However, those are what often lead us to the greatest blessings. Think about your health. Who thinks that they would like to put their body through months of soreness and stiffness? Nobody. Who would love to be in great shape with lots of flexibility and energy? Everyone.

I have heard this quote many times. It is so true in what we are discussing. Another place this shows up is in the struggle to break free from addiction. It is a hard and daily process. Everyone wants to be free of their addictions, but it can be too much for many to go through the long and difficult process. The gift is worth it, but the wrapping is not appealing.

You may not be fighting an addiction, or struggling to get in shape, but life has so many gifts that we overlook because the wrapping in which they are contained can appear as pain or struggle. One last important note. Many of us through away the gift after struggling throw the wrapping. Asking ourselves what is the gift in our pain can transform our life. It may be nothing other than being able to relate to, and help, others who have gone through the same pain. When you do so, you will discover what a great gift that is. It is one that could not be accomplished without the pain.

A NEW PROCESS TO POSITIVELY TRANSFORM YOUR LIFE 😊

This title may sound a little like hype, but let me assure you that I do not believe it is. This is not a method I have read or heard about anywhere before. You may be the first of your friends and family to try, and to benefit, from it! If you recall a few posts ago we discussed the idea of never losing, just winning or learning. We took that famous quote from Nelson Mandela and tweaked it a little to become even more powerful. Today we are going to take it one step further by including a practice to help you in developing a shift in mindset.

In case you missed that post, we will give you a quick recap. We discussed a quote from Nelson Mandela, “I never lose. I either win or learn.” In life we can learn the most when things do not go right. In that way, even some of our darkest moments can facilitate some of our greatest growth. If you know anything about myself, and this site, we seldom stop and good. We tweaked that quote to say, “Lose or win, I will never fail to learn.” If you are only putting this mentality to work when you lose, you could be missing out on a great deal of information that could help you positively transform your life at a much more rapid pace.

How can you develop this mindset? It can be hard to think “What can I learn from this?” when you are in a severe negative emotional state. Just like a great many things in life, the answer lies in starting a daily ritual that will begin to train your subconscious mind to look for lessons in any experience in life. Just like any new habit, it may seem a bit like work in the beginning. That is because our brains do not like doing anything new. Stick with it, and soon it will not only become automatic, it will begin to lead to magical changes in your life.

Here is this simple ritual. All you need is a pen and a notebook. If you have read any of my 3 books, available on Amazon, you will realize how much magic we can create with these simple 2 tools. Keeping it simple, here is all you have to do. At the end of each day, before you drift off to dream land, grab your pen and notebook. In it, list one good thing that happened that day, and one thing that falls south of the ‘good’ category. Underneath, or beside each one, list at least one thing you have learned from each situation. You can do this at a different time of the day if it will make it more likely you will stick with it. The benefit of doing it right before sleep is two-fold. First, that is one of the times our brains are most susceptible. The other is right after we wake up, but that is a tough time for many of us without trying to start a new habit. The other reason this is a good time to do it is that it gives your subconscious mind something to work on as you sleep. Thus, making it even more powerful.

Like we mentioned earlier, if a different time would make it more likely you stay consistent, go with that. You can also try listing more than one of each situation, or listing as many things as you can that you learned from each one. At the beginning, I would start with one of each type of situation, and one lesson learned. Once you see the magic this brings to your life, you will want to increase both. You will benefit in two very important ways. First, you will be gathering lots of lessons and information learned. This, by itself, will help you grow and improve your life. Second, you will begin to train your mind to look for lessons in every situation in life. Before long, your mind will begin to do this as events occur. I would recommend sticking with this practice even after that point.

How powerful will you be when you can mine lessons out of every situation in life? That way nobody, or nothing, can stop you. Your life will be on a constant upwards trajectory! Even when it looks like you have suffered a setback, you will know that you learned something and that you are moving forward. There will be more about this in my upcoming fourth book. Until then, I would love to hear your experience using this strategy for improving your life.

LOOK BACK WITH LOVE ❤️

It can be difficult to look back at moments in our life and not cringe. I’m not just talking about some of our fashion choices in high school either. No, there are choices we made, be they actions or words, that change our life. This can often be not for the better.

It can be tempting to look back and have feelings of regret, despair and even a little anger with ourselves. Sure, a giving ourselves a little pain can make sure we do better going forward. Still, I heard Les brown say “If you are mad at yourself for something in your past that you would no longer do, than you’re convicting an innocent person.

Like we discussed last post, if you learn, it is all part of life. Now, about those high school fashion choices…

NEVER LOSE, JUST IMPROVE

That sounds like a great life. Never lost, just win. Also sounds a little impossible. Looking at this quote from Nelson Mandela, we can see it is not only possible, it may be easier than we think. Whatever life throws our way, we can use it to our advantage. That’s why I would like to tweak Mr. Mandela’s quote a little bit.

“Lose or win, I will never fail to learn. – Neil Panosian

Did I really just quote myself? Yes. The reason why is simple. This is a mantra I have used, and continue to use to put my life on a never-ending upward trajectory. Whether my life is in a peak or a valley, it is always improving.

How do you accomplish this continuing and never-ending improvement? Through a change in mindset, but even more simply, asking a simple question. That question is “What can I learn from this?” When you learn your life improves. You can learn in celebration. What went well? What skills did I use to create that success? What bad habits might I have avoided that could have sabotaged my success?

We learn a great deal in pain and loss. Feeling the pain of losing a loved one, which can be the most painful, can show us how to better love those we still have in our life. Losing a job sucks, but we can learn how to develop new skills, be resilient and better prepared next time.

One of the most powerful situations to use this in (although I recommend using it all situations in life) and one of the situations with the most dramatic returns is intimate relationships. Think of it. You do something that lights your partner up. What was it? What about that thing you did or said affected them so greatly? You did something to hurt or disappoint your partner? You can learn from that. What not to say or do. What hurts them and what emotions may get triggered.

Bonus learning – try looking at the opposite of situations to gain twice the knowledge. That way you can improve your life twice as fast. The successful times can teach us about failure, just as hurt and pain can teach us what truly brings us joy. Get the most out of each moment in life and you will get the most out of your life in return.

YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES ✌️

This simple mindset shift transforms life. One feels good. One does not. One makes your life feel good. One does not not. Neither changes events, yet both change your reality. How can reality change if facts do not?

The reality we feel is seldom reality in actuality. Instead, it is a reality as viewed through the lens of our past experiences and our focus. The first we have little control over. The second we have absolute control over. In fact, the only way we can effectively change the past, is by changing the way we view it.

How we do this is simple. Have you had a tragic event in your life? You can view it as the trauma that prevents you from moving forward. Then again, you can view as the reason you developed such resilience. The facts didn’t change, just your response to them and the meaning you assigned them.

In a broader sense, the same applies to life. There are things that appear negative to us. We can choose to view them as so, or we can ask ourselves how we can use them. Can they teach us something? Can they remind us to be grateful for something else? Perhaps, like we mentioned earlier, they can help us be more resilient? The choice is ours. We cannot often change events, but we can change what we decide they mean to us and our reaction to them. More on this next post.

NEVER STOP BEING THAT PERSON 💯

Here is something that rings true. You will never know the effect of every bit of kindness you have shown. This should not stop you from being kind. On the contrary. It should encourage you to know that you positively impact far more lives than you will ever know. Your actions, be they good or bad, can have a lingering impact years after they were committed.

Knowing that what you say or do can affect people’s lives for years, if not longer, should motivate you to be the best human you can. That small word of encouragement could help someone make it through a trying time years down the road. That harsh criticism can prevent someone from becoming all that they could be.

Knowing this, we should plant all the seeds of kindness, compassion and encouragement we can. We should do so to as many people as we can. We should also guard against speaking negative unless it is absolutely necessary. We make a difference whether we know it or not. Let us make sure it is a good one.

MY HAPPY DAY! 😃🍉🍍😊

Happy first day is summer to my friends in the northern hemisphere! This is my favorite day of the year. I am definitely a summer person. Love the sun and the warm weather.

Today is supposed to be the ‘longest day of the year’. Meaning that the sun rises the earliest and sets the latest. That kind of reminds me of life. We all have the same 24 hours. What determines the quality of our life is what we do with them. Is there more sunshine (positive and productive activity) or is it more darkness (negative and wasted energy).

Today, let the first day of summer remind us to have as much light and positivity in our 24 hours as we can!

CONVINCE YOURSELF! 😮

We are all worthy of a good life. Me, you, even the guy who cut you off in traffic. OK, we might not want to wish him a good life at the moment, but I’m sure he deserves one too.

When we convince ourselves that we are worthy of a good life we act differently. We  set boundaries and practice self-care. We take better care of our health and focus on the long-term goal instead of the short-term pleasure. We are also far more likely to treat others with respect and compassion.

How do we convince ourselves we are worthy of a good life? We earn it. How do we earn it? By keeping our word to others, and even more importantly, keeping our word to ourselves. When we say what we are going to do and then follow that up by doing what we say, we earn well-deserved pride. Self-discipline is the greatest source of self-love.

Convince yourself that you are worthy of a good life today! Keep your word. Stay disciplined. Treat others with compassion and kindness. That good life will be yours in no time at all!

ARE YOU PLANTING A TREE? 🌳

This is a quote from one of my favorite poets. It sheds light on a very important way to live your life. In my second book, a corresponding YouTube video, I encourage people to write their own eulogy. Not only as a reminder that life is fleeting, and you should live with a sense of urgency, but because it will help them better clarify what they want their legacy to be.

A eulogy is what people will say about you after you die. Sadly, if it is a good speech, you will not be there to hear it. You do have a great amount of control of what it will contain. What do you want yours to say? Do you want them to say you were a leader of your family? Are you currently acting like one? How about a loving partner? A hard worker?

One you decide how you want to be remembered, you can start working towards earning that eulogy. Meaning you are living in such a way that people will say kind things about you long after you are gone. Put another way, you are planting a tree you will never sit under.

DO NOT GET STUCK

Remember my friends, as the week begins, focus on what we have to be grateful for. If something disturbs our peace, learn from it and let it go.