Tag: self improvement

NEVER LOSE, JUST IMPROVE

That sounds like a great life. Never lost, just win. Also sounds a little impossible. Looking at this quote from Nelson Mandela, we can see it is not only possible, it may be easier than we think. Whatever life throws our way, we can use it to our advantage. That’s why I would like to tweak Mr. Mandela’s quote a little bit.

“Lose or win, I will never fail to learn. – Neil Panosian

Did I really just quote myself? Yes. The reason why is simple. This is a mantra I have used, and continue to use to put my life on a never-ending upward trajectory. Whether my life is in a peak or a valley, it is always improving.

How do you accomplish this continuing and never-ending improvement? Through a change in mindset, but even more simply, asking a simple question. That question is “What can I learn from this?” When you learn your life improves. You can learn in celebration. What went well? What skills did I use to create that success? What bad habits might I have avoided that could have sabotaged my success?

We learn a great deal in pain and loss. Feeling the pain of losing a loved one, which can be the most painful, can show us how to better love those we still have in our life. Losing a job sucks, but we can learn how to develop new skills, be resilient and better prepared next time.

One of the most powerful situations to use this in (although I recommend using it all situations in life) and one of the situations with the most dramatic returns is intimate relationships. Think of it. You do something that lights your partner up. What was it? What about that thing you did or said affected them so greatly? You did something to hurt or disappoint your partner? You can learn from that. What not to say or do. What hurts them and what emotions may get triggered.

Bonus learning – try looking at the opposite of situations to gain twice the knowledge. That way you can improve your life twice as fast. The successful times can teach us about failure, just as hurt and pain can teach us what truly brings us joy. Get the most out of each moment in life and you will get the most out of your life in return.

YOU HAVE TWO CHOICES ✌️

This simple mindset shift transforms life. One feels good. One does not. One makes your life feel good. One does not not. Neither changes events, yet both change your reality. How can reality change if facts do not?

The reality we feel is seldom reality in actuality. Instead, it is a reality as viewed through the lens of our past experiences and our focus. The first we have little control over. The second we have absolute control over. In fact, the only way we can effectively change the past, is by changing the way we view it.

How we do this is simple. Have you had a tragic event in your life? You can view it as the trauma that prevents you from moving forward. Then again, you can view as the reason you developed such resilience. The facts didn’t change, just your response to them and the meaning you assigned them.

In a broader sense, the same applies to life. There are things that appear negative to us. We can choose to view them as so, or we can ask ourselves how we can use them. Can they teach us something? Can they remind us to be grateful for something else? Perhaps, like we mentioned earlier, they can help us be more resilient? The choice is ours. We cannot often change events, but we can change what we decide they mean to us and our reaction to them. More on this next post.

NEVER STOP BEING THAT PERSON 💯

Here is something that rings true. You will never know the effect of every bit of kindness you have shown. This should not stop you from being kind. On the contrary. It should encourage you to know that you positively impact far more lives than you will ever know. Your actions, be they good or bad, can have a lingering impact years after they were committed.

Knowing that what you say or do can affect people’s lives for years, if not longer, should motivate you to be the best human you can. That small word of encouragement could help someone make it through a trying time years down the road. That harsh criticism can prevent someone from becoming all that they could be.

Knowing this, we should plant all the seeds of kindness, compassion and encouragement we can. We should do so to as many people as we can. We should also guard against speaking negative unless it is absolutely necessary. We make a difference whether we know it or not. Let us make sure it is a good one.

MY HAPPY DAY! 😃🍉🍍😊

Happy first day is summer to my friends in the northern hemisphere! This is my favorite day of the year. I am definitely a summer person. Love the sun and the warm weather.

Today is supposed to be the ‘longest day of the year’. Meaning that the sun rises the earliest and sets the latest. That kind of reminds me of life. We all have the same 24 hours. What determines the quality of our life is what we do with them. Is there more sunshine (positive and productive activity) or is it more darkness (negative and wasted energy).

Today, let the first day of summer remind us to have as much light and positivity in our 24 hours as we can!

CONVINCE YOURSELF! 😮

We are all worthy of a good life. Me, you, even the guy who cut you off in traffic. OK, we might not want to wish him a good life at the moment, but I’m sure he deserves one too.

When we convince ourselves that we are worthy of a good life we act differently. We  set boundaries and practice self-care. We take better care of our health and focus on the long-term goal instead of the short-term pleasure. We are also far more likely to treat others with respect and compassion.

How do we convince ourselves we are worthy of a good life? We earn it. How do we earn it? By keeping our word to others, and even more importantly, keeping our word to ourselves. When we say what we are going to do and then follow that up by doing what we say, we earn well-deserved pride. Self-discipline is the greatest source of self-love.

Convince yourself that you are worthy of a good life today! Keep your word. Stay disciplined. Treat others with compassion and kindness. That good life will be yours in no time at all!

ARE YOU PLANTING A TREE? 🌳

This is a quote from one of my favorite poets. It sheds light on a very important way to live your life. In my second book, a corresponding YouTube video, I encourage people to write their own eulogy. Not only as a reminder that life is fleeting, and you should live with a sense of urgency, but because it will help them better clarify what they want their legacy to be.

A eulogy is what people will say about you after you die. Sadly, if it is a good speech, you will not be there to hear it. You do have a great amount of control of what it will contain. What do you want yours to say? Do you want them to say you were a leader of your family? Are you currently acting like one? How about a loving partner? A hard worker?

One you decide how you want to be remembered, you can start working towards earning that eulogy. Meaning you are living in such a way that people will say kind things about you long after you are gone. Put another way, you are planting a tree you will never sit under.

DO NOT GET STUCK

Remember my friends, as the week begins, focus on what we have to be grateful for. If something disturbs our peace, learn from it and let it go.

WHAT DECIDES YOUR FUTURE?

I am not sure what a man fighting a lion has to do with this quote. Maybe he made a habit of fighting lions. Seems like that habit would lead to a fairly short life. That does reflect the point we are attempting to make here. The man may not actively choose a short life and quick death, but by choosing a habit of fighting lions, in a way he is.

The decisions we make in life decide our future. Do we make a decision to pursue comfort at any cost? If so, it would be highly unlikely that we will accomplish anything to great. Truly worthwhile goals require discipline, sacrifice and consistency. Even if our intentions are noble, if our habits are not it will amount to very little. When life gets tough we do not rise to our ambitions, we fall back to our habits.

Most of us would like to be successful in life. Success too is a habit. You cannot strive to be a success in one area while being lazy in others. If you are a person who drops trash in the ground and doesn’t pick it up, chances are you will not be able to maintain a high standard in areas of life you deem more important.

Take a hard look at your habits. What kind of future are they going to deliver for you? If it is not the future you want, what habits could you adopt now to change that?

2 RULES OF THE SPIRITUAL PATH ✨️

I love things that are simple. This is one of those things. When following any spiritual path, these 2 rules should apply. First, you obviously must begin. Dedication to a spiritual path does not need to involve some fancy ritual. It takes place inside of you. Sure, you could go to a secluded place in the woods to meditate, but that is not necessary. A commitment to a new spiritual path, or recommitmemt to a path, can just as easily happen while riding a city bus on the way to work. Neither one is more powerful than the other. The power comes from the commitment in your heart.

Second, you must continue. When you truly dedicate yourself to a spiritual way of being, it is not a if/when proposition. You adhere to the principles of your path whether it is sunny or not. It does not matter if you are dealing with another spiritual person, or someone less-informed. You also continue even if that less-informed person is you. We all stumble. Being spiritual does not mean being perfect. It means being committed. Even if you are imperfect 

Being truly enlightened means understanding that you will stray from the path and occasionally not live up to your standards. It means both giving yourself a little pain when you do, but also being able to forgive yourself and learn from it.

These 2 rules are very important on any journey. You must begin and you must continue.

KEEP BLOOMING 🌻

This is so true. In a world where people are mistakenly focused on material gain and other outward signs of success, it is important to remember where real change starts. If there is anything you wish to accomplish, you must start by becoming it. That may sound backwards to some of you, so allow me to explain.

Real change happens internally. If you do not change who you are inside, that change will usually not be long-lasting. That is why so many who won the lottery end up broke. They have not changed to someone who is comfortable with having a lot of wealth.

You must work on changing your mentality first. If you want to be fit, you must become a person who likes, and is dedicated to fitness. You want to eat healthy? You must become someone who  has a better relationship with food. Someone who understands that you should eat to live and not live to eat. That healthy can be both delicious and fun!

Here is the tricky bit. When you start changing your mentality, you would think everyone would be behind you. Especially, those closest to you. Often, this is not the case. It can be a fear, be that conscious or not, that once you level up you will leave them behind. Sometimes that might have to be the case. When you are working on sobriety, you can’t hang around with addicts anymore. Maybe they just do not possess the drive to improve their lives? A little encouragement and reassurance can go a long way here.

In the end, you might be doing it alone. Quite often, self-improvement is just that – improvement by yourself. Those closest to you might be your most difficult test. Do not stop them from allowing you to bloom!

Quick side note. Be careful not to judge them either. Many people lack either the knowledge or the discipline to improve their lives. Some of the best ways we can help this is to offer encouragement and a positive example of what can be done! It may just be your success that will change their life!