Ah, one of my favorite philosophers, Winnie-the-Pooh! It is a nice little poem one can repeat to themselves in their head, or out loud if you’re alone or really brave. Here at Secret2anamazinglife.com, we certainly believe in you. The fact you took the time to log on and read this blog, proves that you are invested in living an amazing life and becoming the best version of yourself. If you consistentlywork towards any goal, you will get there!
This poem should not only remind you that the people at Secret2anamazinglife.com believe in you, which we do, but also that you can give that feeling to someone as well! The power you give someone by letting them know you believe in them is priceless. You can be that person! How do you feel when someone says, “I believe in you.”? How many times do you say it to others?
Say this little poem from that lovable bear to remind yourself that you have a whole group of people at this website who believe in you. Also, let it remind you to let others know you believe in them too! The difference it will make will be unbelievable.
As I mentioned earlier, these posts are coming to you while I am on vacation in the tropics with the beautiful Margie. One of the great things about both vacation and the tropics is the fact that nobody seems to ‘sweat the small stuff’ as they say. In fact, there is a term called Island time which means things move at their own pace.
This slower pace can be frustrating to visitors at first. Considering that the leading cause of death in the developed world is heart disease, and the leading cause of that is stress, you think we would relish slowing down. Still, people seem to want everything yesterday.
After a few days on vacation, some of us adjust to island time. It not only involves slowing down, be prioritizing. You have to wait a little longer for your drink? Who cares? You’re relaxing on the beach. The restaurant you wanted to eat at is full? No worries. There is a great stand on the beach.
The small annoyances of life seem to fade away, which is where they belong. When we return to ‘normal life’ it would serve us well to keep this mentality. The restaurant we booked lost our reservation? Who cares? I’m still with the person I love having dinner. Someone cut us off in traffic? At least we are safer than they are.
This change in priority will reduce stress, increase joy and allow us to be the best version of ourselves. When we major inminor things, we are constantly filled with stress and worry.
As you read this, I’ll be relaxing at the Warwick Paradise Island in the sunny Bahamas. As the love of my life and I prepared for this vacation, we watched a show called The Bahamas Life. The show involves people leaving the dreary cold places they live in to move to the Bahamas. I found it very exciting and hopeful.
One thing that seemed universal on the list of reasons people were moving there, was the friendliness of the people. Itgot me thinking about something we mentioned here before. Your personality can define far more than just you. Sure, people can say,“Bob sure is a grouchy son of a gun.” Or, more positively, “Betty sure does have wonderful energy I enjoy being around. “
What if we don’t know Bob or Betty personally? What if we are just running into them at a grocery store? What if we are just observing them while out having dinner? They can change our opinion on the store or restaurant we are at, fairly or unfairly. The same holds true for people visiting from out of state, or out of the country.We often represent far more than we realize. How you treat others never defines them. It doesdefine you and quite often much more than that!
Next time you are tempted to lose your temper, or treat someone rudely, remember you represent far more than just yourself. Your behavior not only defines you, but those who raised you, and often more than that. Strive to be the best version of yourself at all times. You never know who is listening.
Are you like me, one of those people who really like to get someone the perfect gift? Not necessarily the most expensive or lavish gift, but one that will be most appreciated. Do you spend countless hours thinking about what you know of the person and then combining that with what gift would fit that knowledge? It can be stressful and exhausting. This post will help relieve some of that stress and give you a gift that will be treasured by anyone you want to feel special. How can we do that without knowing the first thing about the person you are giving the gift to? By giving you a gift that is universally loved, extremely rare, and although it does not cost much from a financial aspect, it is priceless. Care to know what it is? Read on my friends.
As you read this, I will be on my way to this amazing location. It is the Warkwick Paradise Island, in the Bahamas. It was a gift to my lovely lady for her birthday. That is not the amazing present I am speaking of. Not sure about you, but I could not afford a trip to the Bahamas for everyone I know. Although it would probably be received quite well by most, it would not be universal as some strange people do not like the Caribbean. This means I am going to give you a gift that is not only enjoyed by more people than a trip to the Bahamas, but it more rare and priceless these days. Fear not, it is one you can afford. It comes at a cost, but not one in dollar terms.
The present I am talking about is just that…being present! Giving your attention to someone. Actively listening to what they say. That is listening to learn and understand and not just to reply. Does this sound like something that isn’t that special? Next time you are out anywhere take a look at the people around you. How many of them are locked in eye contact, soaking in every word the person opposite them is sharing? How many of them are not even looking at that person, and are instead staring at the device in their hand? Care to put a percentage on those?
This post is not to sound cynical, but to prove how rare and special being truly present for someone is. Distractions are everywhere. Using our devices and social media has shortened our attention span to one slightly longer than that of a squirrel. Stealing the love of my life away from our chaotic life to one of tranquil paradise will mean little if we are not giving each other our time. That gift is one that everyone appreciates. Knowing what you have to say is important to the other party, in fact knowing you are important to the other party, is something that will be appreciated by everyone. We all deserve this, but it is a gift that is becoming harder to find. I invite you to be the giver of this great gift.
Whether it is for a birthday, anniversary or just because you want them to feel special, give the gift of your presence. Not your physical presence, but your mind, body and soul to the moments you are spending with that individual. Not only will it be a great gift in the moment, it will strengthen your relationships and give you knowledge you can use to provide other great gifts in the future. The more you know, the more impactful in their lives you can be.
It is the weekend, should we still be keeping self-improvement in mind? Fair question. Let me ask you this, which areas of your life would you like to improve? A lot of people view self-improvement as ‘fixing what is wrong with you’. That could not be further from the truth! It is, as the term states, improving yourself. Every area of our lives can always be improved. In my life I try to remain both happy and unsatisfied. I suggest you take that philosophy as well.
Take for example my relationship with this beautiful lady. Am I happy with it? For sure! Just the other morning she even had a cup of coffee waiting for me when I woke up! If that isn’t love, I do not know what is. Am I satisfied with it? Not in the slightest! There are so many ways in which we can improve our relationship. Our love, as fabulous as it is, can always be deeper and further reaching. Finding new ways to love the person you are with is the key to keeping a relationship fresh and loving.Our communication is the key to success, as it is in any relationship. The better that gets, the better the relationship will become.
There are 2 steps to taking your life to the next level. The first, as our first photo shows, is to wake up with a goal. If you do not know the purpose for getting out of bed, you likely will not achieve it. If your purpose is to work, pay bills and die, you will not live a very inspired life. Maybe you start the day with no purpose and just let the day ‘happen to you’. This is even worse! You will not live a very inspired or fulfilling life. You must have a purpose bigger than yourself. That goal can be ‘discovering more ways to add joy to your life and that of others’. It can be ‘finding new ways to love and show love in your relationships’, as we discussed above. Goals do not have to be about fixing something. They can be about taking something that is already great and taking it to the next level!
The second is to wake up with positive energy. Before you think this is impossible, let me assure you it is not. I get up at 4am Monday through Saturday. I also DJ until 1am on Sunday which makes a very short sleep opportunity. If there is anyone who might find waking up with joy a challenge it is the fellow writing this post. The key is setting up and taking control of your life. This means, having positive influences ready before you make it out the door. The outside world has plenty of interactions that are beyond our control, and many of them may not be that pleasant. That is why we must determine our day and not leave it up to chance. There are so many ways this can be accomplished. I will share a few of mine, and would love it if you would share any you have. The more we all have, the more likely our day is to be positive. I have a motivational day by day calendar. Each day it has a saying that will start your day with a positive thought. I have an app on my phone that sends motivational quotes. Each day I get a message that is motivational. How awesome is that? In addition, I fill my social media feed with as many positive sources as I can. These are just a few of the things you can do.
This weekend, set your days up to be successful! Find that purpose, or reason to get out of bed. Surround yourself with positive influences to affect your energy before the world has a chance to affect it. Do these simple 2 steps and your life will reach new levels! Don’t forget to share what you do to positively influence your energy every day.
It is Friday, and it seems like we have been waiting forever for the weekend. What we should have been doing is preparing for it. What do I mean by that? When you find yourself in any situation where you are waiting for a goal, be that the weekend or a business of your own, use that time to prepare for its arrival. The weekend, for example, can often seem fleeting. Preparing to squeeze as much joy and life out of those 48 hours can make it that much mor enjoyable.
This doesn’t mean that you have to account for each and every second of time. That can often take some of the joy away from that time. What you can do is look forward to ever moment you get to spend. Find ways to be present. This is a key to slowing time down. We will dive deeper into that in a future post. Know that if you are too busy looking forward to the next thing, you will fail to fully appreciate the current thing. It can be a fine balance to walk, but one that makes all of the difference.
Often, the longer you have to prepare, the more amazing the goal is when you finally achieve it. It may allow something to occur to you that you had not thought of. It may allow you to be able to soak in and appreciate your accomplishment more than you would have if you had not had the time to prepare.
Does this really make that big of a difference? It just reminded me of a quick story I would like to share with you. It involves Rodney Dangerfield, who was one of the most popular comics of the 1980’s. He was in movies, on talk shows and performed in front of sold out crowds. He even owned his own night club. It was at this night club where our story takes place. Norm Macdonald, another comic was performing there when Rodney walked in. The crowd went so crazy, that Rodney had to tell of few jokes in the middle of Norm’s set to appease the crowd. After the night was over and the club was closing up, Norm approached Rodney who was having a cocktail at the bar. “Wow, you sure are popular. It must feel great to be so loved and successful.” Norm said. Rodney looked at him, slammed his drink and replied, “No, it sucks. It should have happened years ago.” Here is a man who was wildly successful but couldn’t enjoy it because it happened too late for his liking. Rodney died still bitter his success came too late instead of elated it came. He viewed the wait as a punishment and it ruined his entire life. Do not let that happen to you.
It is Monday! Depending on what time of day you are reading this, you may be dreading going to to work to start a long week away from the family, or coming back in exhausted after the first day back over the weekend. This can have you asking if this is all there is to life. Certainly, life has to be more than just waking up, paying bills and feeling tired! You are right. That is why we all need a new job. Don’t worry, you do not have to quit the job you have. That’s right, it is another job. Before you stop reading because you think I have completely lost my mind, let me explain. I think you might be up for this one.
I believe it was Les Brown who said “At a job they pay you just enough that you won’t quit and you work just enough that they will not fire you.” This seems to be true for a lot of people. Life can feel like a job. What is the most popular abbreviation for those 3 letters? Most of us have heard a J.O.B. referred to as “Just Over Broke.” In many cases, this is sad but true. In your life, we are going to change that.
Starting today, J.O.B. will mean something entirely different and it is your ‘job’ to make it a reality. That is ‘joy of being’. If we can work half as much at finding joy in our lives as we do to pay the bills, we will become richer than we have ever been! After all, the reason we go to work is to pay for things to bring us joy. Even things as simple as keeping the lights on and a roof over our heads. We should work at keeping the joy in our hearts as well.
This week, spend some time working to explore things that bring joy to your being. What really makes your heart soar and puts a smile on your face? Spend some time not only discovering that, but engaging in it as well. We all could stand to have that J.O.B.
I think we could all benefit from this quote by Bruce Lee. Viewing defeat as the first step to something better changes our perspective. It takes us from a feeling of going backwards, to taking the first step forward.
Starting today, when you feel like you have failed, ask yourself, “What better outcome could this be the first step of?” It will change your perception of the problem
The work week has begun and we are all on our own journeys. The quote above has two amazing points. The first one is just that. Our journeys are unique to us. When we see someone doing something that does not make sense to us, we must remember that their journey is different than ours. Where we are going and where we have been is very different from them and their life. Even if something seems to make no sense to us, if we consider that their experiences and thoughts may be the exact opposite, it could make perfect sense to them.
Keeping these facts in mind will allow us to forgo judgement and approach each other with compassion. Not everyone, dare I say not anyone, we cross paths with will have the same destination, the same beliefs or the same journey. We may even be heading towards the same destination, but are taking different paths. That is ok. That last fact is something very important to keep in mind. It is ok if someone’s journey takes a different path than our own. It is not only ok, it is what gives life its variety. If everyone’s journey and destination were exactly the same, life would be insanely boring. Even when we find ourselves seemingly sharing a journey with someone, know in reality it is just that our paths are crossing for that period of time.
The second point is perhaps the most important. When our paths do cross, we should do our best to encourage and lift each other up. How many times do we get a chance to share the journey of life with each other? It is not as many as you think. Even with those in our household, or those we see every day at work. There can be a million reasons why these paths may go their separate ways. People can get promoted. They can decide to pursue a different path in life. Sadly, they can also pass away. We can never be certain that our paths will cross again.
I can think of no better legacy to leave behind than to be remembered as someone who has positively impacted the lives of others. This does not have to be someone like a Mother Teresa who used her extreme love and compassion to care for some of the most neglected members of society. Although, there is always room for people like that. Positively impacting people can be as simple as always sharing a smile and encouraging word with those you come in contact with. How valuable are those two things when we are having a rough day? The gift of hope can be one of the most valuable gifts we can give.
When you cross paths with someone today, remember those two facts. First, their path and journey are different than yours. This holds true for everyone in your life. From strangers you meet for a moment, to those you live with. Our paths may cross for a little, or a long time, but our journeys are still our own. Second, remember to encourage everyone you cross paths with. You never know how hard their journey is, and you can never be sure you will cross paths with them again.
Today is one of the most important posts I have written in a while. I will be appearing on television on Tuesday to discuss ’10 minutes to change the world’. The link will be shared in a post later in the week. This started me thinking on what we could all do in 10 minutes to change our worlds. The answer reflected something that occurred to me and played perfectly into the subject of my upcoming fourth book. I am going to give all of you a peak at this today.
I am going to share the 10 minutes that changed my world and give you the tools and strategies that I took out of that. These same very tools and strategies you can use to change your own life. The great change occurred in November of 2021. I had a doctor’s appointment earlier in the day, in which I had scheduled my open-heart surgery. In typical Neil fashion, I choose January 11 because the date would be “1-11-22”. That would be a full house. Had to be lucky I deduced. I also choose ‘high-noon’ as the time. Why? Because I always heard them say that in westerns and I thought it sounded cool. This is the way in which I approached one of the most important moments of my life.
That evening I went to the movie with my lovely lady, Margie. The story is explained in detail in my third book, The Beat Goes On, available on Amazon. While there, two thoughts occurred to me. First, never drink several cups of coffee before sitting down to a movie that is over two hours. Second, and the point of this blog, is that this could be the last movie I saw with the woman I love. As I excused myself to attend to the first matter, the second started bouncing around in my head. It was November. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving, and this could be the last one I enjoyed. Same with Christmas, and most importantly, my lady’s birthday which falls on December 15th.
All of these thoughts had been precipitated by a comment the doctor’s nurse had said. She informed us that due to where they were operating, there was a chance of death or stroke. Seeing my look of concern, she reassured me, “It would be a mini stroke in anything.” I asked if it would also be a mini death. This was said in jest, but turned out to be more accurate than I would have thought. Again, that full story is in the book.
While attending to my business in the men’s room, these thoughts bounced around my head. Here is a fact that may surprised you, and certainly surprised me – it did not scare me. What it did was create a sense of urgency. I realized that someone had set a timer for two months and pushed go. I thought of the hourglass and the sand slowly, but continually, running from top to bottom. If there were only two months left to spend with my lady, how could I make her understand and feel the intense love that I had for her? What memories did I want to create? How could I make those holidays, and her birthday, as special and memorable as they could be? Then, I started to think about the other people in my life. How could I do the same for them? What about those of you who read this website? How could I continue to put forth a positive influence even after I was gone? My head started spinning.
As I returned to my seat next to Margie, my brain was working overtime. My fingers were drumming on the seat. Margie, half annoyed and half curious, asked what was wrong. I told her I would tell her after the movie. Unable to focus on the superheroes fighting to save the earth, I gave myself over to my thoughts. When the credits were rolling, I had to be nudged awake by my beautiful lady. I explained all about my time being fleeting and the urgency to create the best memories and convey the most love. She began by assuring me she believed I was not going to die. Seeing this did not satisfy my spinning thoughts, she said something quite simple yet profound. “Let us make a list of everything we want to do, and everything you want to make people feel.”
I began to appreciate the relativity of time. Waiting 2 months for my upcoming Bahamas vacation has seemed like forever. Having two months to think of, plan and carry out life-lasting memories? That seemed such a fleeting time it was next to impossible. As I began to work on all of this, a sobering, but powerful, thought occurred to me. We are all going to die. That may sound negative, but it really shouldn’t. It is a fact. Every single one of us has an internal hourglass that has sand running from the top to the bottom. Here is an interesting fact. None of us can see how much sand is in the top. Whether we are 18 or 80, it can be a lot, or only a few grains. There are certainly facts that can slow the sand. We can enjoy a healthy diet, exercise regularly, and most importantly, manage our stress effectively. This, however, is no guarantee. In my case, I was working out four days a week, meditating every night and still had an aneurism. This was due to a deformed heart valve I was born with that I never even knew I had. This was the same condition that killed the writer of the the movie and play Rent. He never even knew he had it. Just dropped over. That is why we should all be aware of that hourglass.
Look around at those in your life. What if you did not have tomorrow to tell them how you truly feel? You could be gone tomorrow or they could. Sobering, yes. True? absolutely. The sand is running out for all of us. We can deny it, or “not think of such dark things”, but that does not change the reality of them. What is the secret to living an amazing life in the time that we have left? I say it is by embracing those very facts!
It is the fact that life ends that makes it so valuable. If we lived forever, there would be no urgency and little value to what we did daily. The fact that life is fleeting, and can end at any second, makes it priceless. This holds true for both us and everyone we come in contact with. If there is one thing all of humanity has in common, it is the fact that we will all die. Here is what I propose. Embrace that fact. Start by thinking of what you want to be remembered for. I often suggest people take a shot at writing their own eulogy. What do you want those you love to say, and more to the point, remember about you? Then, look at if you are indeed that person. If not, what actions can you take to change that and become who you want to be? Is it something you need to say? Something you need to do? Realize the time is passing. Get yourself an hourglass to provide a poignant reminder.
There is some debate as to Crazy Horse actually saying this. However, the point is this. Live every day that if you were to die, you would be at peace with that fact. Go to sleep at night with your soul at peace. That means to make sure your loved ones understand how much you care. It means having your legacy in place so that those who come after you will continue to learn from the person you are.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 