Tag: self improvement

WHAT IS YOUR DEFENSE?

The world can sure be a rough place. It can feel dark and overwhelming at times. It is then that we should think of this analogy. I ship in the ocean is surrounded by water, only a tiny fraction of which could sink it. Yet it can survive years, decades or longer without the slightest issue. Even an occasional leak can be fixed and the ship can continue to sail the oceans without succumbing to the water. We are not much different when it comes to the negativity of life. We are often surrounded by it. Some sink and some continue to sail through life unencumbered. What makes the difference?

The difference is, much like the ship, those people who sail through life have found a way to not let the negativity get inside of them. It comes down to having a good defense for the mental, physical and emotional challenges that we will come up against. The time to come up with this plan is now. As the saying goes, the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, the second best time is today. Do not wait until your drowning to learn how to swim. Yes, that was a lot of metaphors in a row, but I am hoping it helps get the point across. Life may be smooth sailing now, but a storm is always right around the corner. Yes, that was another analogy.

There are many ways to set up a defense. Some people meditate. Some, like my mother, walk in nature. My fiancé likes to shop and create. I go to the gym or write. You have to find a constructive way to keep the water, in other words the stress, out of your ship. Should a leak develop, and you start to feel the negative creeping in, patch that sucker and get back to sailing. Having a healthy stress reduction plan could be a therapist to talk to, a journal to write in, a friend to meet for coffee or a dog to go for a walk with. What is your defense against the ocean of negativity we are all sailing through?

EVERYTHING WILL SHIFT 😮

This is a great secret to overcoming life’s challenges. When you cease to have problems and start to have lessons, not only does your stress reduce, but your intelligence increases. This simple change in inner dialogue has a huge impact in your life. Changing the question you ask yourself may not seem like that radicle of a shift, but it is. The reason this is so, is because your brain will always come up with an answer. Look again at the two questions and consider what kind of answers could come from either.

Asking yourself the question, “Why does is this happening to me?” can lead to some disastrous results. You could start to assign blame and attach to things that it has no business being attached to. Like some kind of karma spin the bottle. You may start to compare it with the lives of others. “How come this never happens to Bob or Betty?” you might ask. The truth is that we never know what challenges Bob and Betty are facing. They have their challenges and we have ours. The bottom line is that the situation is happening to you. Those are the facts. To move ahead in life it is far greater to work with the facts than to wonder why they exist.

Asking yourself, “What is this trying to teach me?” or “What can I learn from this?” turns a challenge into an opportunity to come up stronger, smarter and maybe even a little happier in the end. Say you lose a job. That is a painful situation. It is also a good reminder that we should have multiple sources of income and always stay brushed up on our resume and skills. What if your car calls it quits? Perhaps it is reminding you to be better with preventative maintenance or to have savings set aside for such an occurrence.

The questions we ask ourselves will go a long way into determining the actions we take. Make sure the questions you ask yourself will lead to empowering actions that will improve your life. Start with changing the one above. Be patient with yourself. It takes time and practice to change thought patterns, but the returns will be well worth the effort.

LET US SHARE!

Whether it is political nonsense, office gossip or the news in general, we are regularly exposed to negative influences. Think about what you tend to share when you begin a conversation with someone. This could be in person, on the phone, social media, or even via text. How much of the conversation is positive verses negative?

I think we should make it as much of a point to share as much positive as we are able. If we look around, sometimes we have to look hard, there is always something good to find.

The benefits of this are two fold. First, we will make the person we are taking to feel positive by hearing the good news. We will also feel good sharing it. Second, by making sure we always have something good to share, our subconscious mind will be on the lookout for good things in life that we can share. This will go a long way to changing our perspective.

How will waking around with good news in your heart just bursting to share affect your day? My challenge to you is this – for the next 7 days share as much good news as you can. This can be sharing many good things with one person, or sharing one good thing with multiple people. You can start right here by sharing something good with our community!

1 RABBIT OR 2? 🐇

Before some well-meaning reader reminds me, I am fully aware that I used this quote in a post not long ago. No, I am not getting lazy on my mission to post inspiring content for 1000 days straight ( this is day 855) I am posting this quote again because this came up in conversation the other day. One of the wonderful things about having conversations in the self-improvement field is that there is always so much to learn. Even after over 2 decades in the field, I benefit tremendously by staying humble and keeping an open mind. The moment you think you know it all is the moment you cannot learn anything else.

Case in point, this quote. When I wrote about it last time, I used the example of someone who is multitasking. This is a great example as to why that is not a good idea. When we picture someone, even ourselves, trying to chase two rabbits at the same time, the visual is pretty hilarious. That is always how I viewed this quote. The person I was speaking with reminded me of the flipside. “I think it means that when you focus, you are more likely to ‘catch the rabbit'” they said.

What a great way of looking at this quote. It is a reminder of the power of focus, and the penalty of the lack of focus. Working together we had come to this conclusion! There were so many lessons to take away from this. If I had acted as if I knew everything there was to know in the self-improvement industry (which is impossible) than I would not have been open to hearing his great interpretation of this quote. If I had been stuck in my way of thinking I may not have rejoiced in seeing his. Working together we more than doubled the knowledge we took from this inspirational quote.

Keep your mind open and stay humble. Do not forget the power of focus and the penalty for not focusing. Remember, if we chase too many ‘rabbits’ at once we will catch none of them.

PARTY WITH THE DEAD! 💀

Today is one of the days that the Day of the Dead or Dia de los Muertos is celebrated. Personally, I think it is a fabulous holiday. On this day, or actually several days usually, people celebrate the lives of loved ones who have passed on. There are so many ways these are celebrated and it would really benefit you to talk to our friend Mr. Google and do a little research.

Many people who do not celebrate this day have a hard time understanding what there is to celebrate. Let us take a look. When you think about the miracle it takes for you to be reading this blog right now, you will realize how much you have to celebrate. If you read to the end, I am going to throw another interesting thought for you to ponder. First, think about the odds of the exact DNA that is you being here. Not to be too graphic, but there is roughly 300 million sperm released at the time of conception. If you take in all of the other factors that need to happen for you to be born, the odds increase from 1/300 million, to 1/400 trillion. That is more than ten times the national debt of the United States! The odds of winning the lottery are 1/292.2 million. You have already won the greatest lottery of all!

You might be wondering what you being a walking miracle of a lottery winner has to do with celebrating your loved ones that have passed on. Good question. Think of what many of them went through. Some went to war. Some struggled with poverty. Some battled addiction. If we go back even further, some have had to survive slavery or abuse. Some had to move to an entirely different country! Many times with little or no resources. How many modern folks would be prepared to do that? Some even had their country taken away. Through it all they persevered. It is due to their resiliency that we are able to be here sharing this moment together. Your ancestors and mine. We owe them all a great debt. Even those so long ago that we never met them. Often, the further back you go, the more challenging the life was.

So I say celebrate your ancestors today! Raise a glass, light a candle or do whatever else you think is appropriate. Their lives allow us to be here today. Without them, and the decisions they made whether good or bad, allow us to be the exact people we are today. As I have often mentioned in this blog, many of my ancestors are still teaching me to this day. I recall advice they gave me when I was young that I can only now fully understand. I recall examples they had set that I did not even realize I was watching.

I promised you if you stayed until the end that I would give you a thought to take with you and ponder. On a day where we celebrate all that those who have gone before us have done, it might be wise to spend a moment thinking what you will want people to celebrate about you. Are you living the life that people will celebrate after you are gone? If not, when would now be a good time to start? It is never too late to live a life worth living. One of my favorite saying states that the best time to plant a tree is 20 years ago, the second best time is today.

WHAT WE CAN LEARN FROM DOG FOOD

One of the interesting things in life is doing your best to watch something on YouTube, and being subjected with ad after ad. Most of the time these are geared towards something you might be interested in. Maybe something you had searched, or videos previously viewed. In my personal viewing adventures most of them have been political ads of late. Telling me how the world is about to end and if you do not vote for the candidate that sponsored the ad, the blood will be on your hands. Sometimes this is put forth metaphorically, sometimes literally.

Before the election came about, and I am sure once it is gone, my ads were a lot different. Some that always popped up were for dog food. More specifically, fresh dog food. This was either for the Farmer’s Dog or the company owned by actress Katherine Heigl called Badland’s Ranch. The fact that I had to look this up to get the name will assure these ads keep coming. Two of my favorites come from each of the companies just mentioned. One, from Badland’s Ranch, has Ms. Heigl asking the question why dogs lived longer in the 1970s then now. She goes on to explain it has to do with the quality of food they were given. The other, from the Farmer’s Dog, has starts dramatically with the sound of dry dog food being poured into a dog bowl. A booming voice informs us that “No living being should eat processed food for every meal of their lives.” This is a hard point to argue.

There are two other points that these ads brought to mind. First, I do not have a dog at present. I am being shown these ads at least 20 times a day and I do not even own a dog. This is much to Margie’s dismay. The second is what I find both ironic and amusing. These companies, and advertisers, have figured out how important it is to dogs to eat whole, natural food. How limiting the dogs exposure to processed food helps with a range of issues from digestion to problems with their joints and coat. They also recognize the fact that consuming all of this processed food has resulted in a reduction in lifespan.

Here is a crazy thought, how come we do not see ads for this in humans? They have proved that 90% of disease is lifestyle driven. We are currently consuming more processed food than ever before. Insurance companies would rather pay for ads selling you the latest medication, with a million side effects, than to tell you how important eating whole, unprocessed food is. In fact, very rarely are things that promote health covered by insurance. They would rather treat you once you are sick. Which to me sounds more like sick care than health care.

The two things that I want to bring to your attention here are as follows. First, if they have had all of this success with dogs by simply switching them to whole and healthy food, imagine what changes could await you by doing the same. If you can, try to eliminate, or at least limit, your consumption of processed food. Read labels. It should not take 35 ingredients to make meat loaf. Second, is pay attention to everything around you. Even a dog food ad can offer some inspiration.

DO NOT WAIT TO BE PROUD 👏

It is almost the end of the year. Upon reflection, no doubt many of us are feeling a twinge of disappointment for resolutions we set at the beginning of the year that we failed to reach. You wanted to eat healthier but you are reading this blog while having a bowl of ice cream…after a large pizza. It is easy to do. Life can get pretty crazy over a 365 day span. Giving ourselves that little dose of pain and disappointment can be a healthy thing. It can spur us to action, even if that action comes at a significantly later time than we intended it to.

That brings us to today’s point. You can start a new beginning at any time. Not only can you, but you should be proud when you do. If you ate like complete garbage for the first 10 months of the year, give yourself a little feeling of guilt and disappointment. That is ok. It will help motivate you not to do so any longer. Following 10 months of supporting local fast food chains, if you have a healthy week of eating, give yourself some love for that. A week of healthy eating is still something to be proud of. It doesn’t matter if it comes in January or November. The more positive associations you attach to a healthy behavior, the more likely you are to maintain it.

You may not have accomplished the goal of being in better shape by the end of the year. You can still be proud of not having any soda this week. Perhaps you haven’t stuck to your gym 3 days a week plan. You can still be proud for taking walks after dinner. Build on the momentum. Your goal will get closer each and every day.

CLEAN YOUR FILTERS! 🧼

This may be hard to believe, but that is an actual picture of the cabin air filter that came out of my car. No wonder my allergies acted up whenever I turned the heat on. When it comes to my car, I am really good with upkeep, but this is a part that I never thought of. Thankfully, now I am breathing free and clean. It started me thinking, as so many things do, of the things we discuss on this site. This filter was supposed to keep out things that would be harmful. Instead, by not inspecting my filter, my car was being filled with all kinds of unhealthy things. It was literally causing me to be sick.

You might be able to guess where I am going with this. In our life we have many filters. One of mine is that I do my best to limit the influence of negative people and situations. Why surround myself with things that will lower my energy if I have a choice. I also try to limit my exposure to unhealthy diet options. Both of these filters need constant inspection. There could be some negative people who have positioned themselves in my life. This is often a ‘friend of a friend’. There are the unhealthy snacks bought as gifts from well-intentioned friends. If I do not examine my filters often these can slip through.

These negative influences can sneak through and end up making big impacts if we are not careful. Check your filters. Make sure there is nothing getting through in your life that may have a negative impact. While you are at it, you might want to check the cabin air filter on your car as well. Take my word for it.

YOUR ORIGINAL WEIGHT ⚖️

In a world full of Instagram models, social media filters and AI photos, far too many of us are chasing unrealistic and unhealthy goals. That model you are aspiring to look like may spend all day in the gym, have a professional chef and maybe even cosmetic surgery. The picture of a fitness guru may be airbrushed or altered in some way. What may be healthy for them, may not be healthy for us. Speaking of health, is that what you are chasing, or just an appearance? Have you given any thought to the inner beauty you have and how you can improve that?

One of the things that can drive us crazy is picking some arbitrary goal. “I would love to get down to my weight when I was ____.” someone will say. Forgetting that our bone density, hormonal profile, level of activity and many other factors have changed. Even picking one factor, such as weight, is a mistake. With the new smart scales, it can give you a much clearer picture of what your weight actually means. How much is fat? How much is water? How much is muscle? You may be healthier at a slightly higher weight depending on these factors.

Next time you are tempted to chase some arbitrary goal, think of this silly picture. You should not worry about going back to some version of you that you used to be, and focus on being the best and healthiest version of who you currently are.

USE THE MOST POWERFUL WEAPON IN THE WORLD 🌎

Do you know those people who cannot seemed to be stopped? You know the ones. Every obstacle seems to push them even more forward. If they do experience a setback, they dust themselves off and get right back at it. They seem full of energy, even after a long day. Instead of feeling envy for these wonderful folks, let us learn from them. What is it that they possess that would change our lives and give us a life like we described above?

We touched briefly on the importance of a ‘why’ last post, but let us dive a little deeper on the subject. Your ‘why’ is more than just the reason you are doing something. It is your emotional connection to the desired outcome. One of the easiest ways to get to a powerful ‘why’ is to keep asking that very question. You want to get healthy, why? Perhaps to look better in your clothing. Why is that important? It will give you a greater self-confidence. Why is that important? It will make you more likely to put your self out there. Why is that so important? It will help you take advantage of opportunities in the dating world, the career world or any other world that excites you. Why is that important? It could lead you to job satisfaction, a healthy relationship or success in whatever field you are in. Why is that important? It will give you a life of peace, purpose and love.

As you can see, developing a strong ‘why’ can set your soul on fire and give you a drive and purpose that lacking a why will never give you. Keep asking yourself why something is important to you. Write down your answers to help you keep track. Before long you will have a soul that will set the world on fire and nothing will be able to stop you.