Tag: self-improvement

THERE IS STRENGTH IN YOUR STORY ✍️

This is a picture my friend Phil Posted. What a great message it has on the cup. I advocate surrounding yourself with as many positive and encouraging messages as you can. This may seem hokey to some, but it really is just balancing the scales. After all, the world today exposes us to many negative messages. There are positive ones too, but they don’t seem to get as much press. Sometimes, you just have to supply your own. It is even better if you are friends with someone amazing like Phil, who will help you by posting a positive picture such as this one.

As an author, this has an even greater message to me. That is one that I do my best to tell everyone, and now I am tell you, the dear reader. That is simply what is says on the cup – there is strength in your story. It amazes me how many people think that their life has nothing to offer the world. Nothing could be further from the truth! Maybe you are a single mother who is barely making it paycheck to paycheck. Do you know how many other single mothers you could inspire and give hope and a sense of community to by sharing your story? Are you someone living with a disability? A recovering addict? A struggling addict? A school teacher? A kid who is being bullied? Sharing our stories helps us create a greater sense of community in the global neighborhood we live in.

That last line may sound a little bit like Mr. Rogers, but that is ok. I happen to be a big Mr. Rogers fan. I think he would agree that each one of us has strength in our life story. Even if your life appears to be a total dumpster fire at the moment and you are barely hanging on day to day. That, my friend, can inspire others.

I recall a couple of gentleman I used to have the honor of serving at the meal program I volunteered at. I remember one fellow lost all of his teeth and had someone steal what few belongings he had. “How do you carry on?” I inquired. He pointed at the other gentleman he came in with. This man was a homeless vet who had lost his leg in war. He could not afford proper health care or even a decent set of crutches. “If he can keep getting up every day, then so can I.” The first man informed me. Even this man who was homeless, had lost his leg and could not afford a pair of crutches was inspiring others. How? Just by getting up to face every day. How many ways to you think sharing your story, in whatever form you choose, could inspire someone who truly needs it?

DON’T FORGET TO SET YOUR ALARM! ⏰️

I am constantly learning and being reminded of things to improve my life. Here is such a story. While organizing some of my things, I came across an item that both reminded me of something important, and gave me a new idea to write about. Before we get to the item I found, let me tell you a little bit about the idea and how they relate to each other.

One of the great things about living in the world we do, is that there is an app for just about everything. It also happens to be a little bit of a curse. I can’t begin to tell you how many I have on my phone, but it is a lot. There is an app for each gym I go to. The app for the fitbit that measures my fitness level while I am there. Starbucks to help me earn free coffee while I write these blogs. There are countless others, but I am sure you get the idea. People are often looking for the one app that will transform their lives. There are a lot of good apps that I recommend including to take a little stress out of the job of turning your life around.

Here is a screen shot of some of the apps on my phone. I use one to do my podcasts, there is one for motivational speeches I can listen to, even with a dark screen. There is even an app that sends me motivational quotes everyday! All of these apps, and more can assist you in living a more rewarding life. You can download a fitness app. You can get one that reminds you to drink more water. One that sends you the weather with a picture of a puppy. There are countless ones to make your day, and by result your life, better. Still, there is one that everyone has, that almost everyone overlooks – the alarm clock. That’s right, the good old alarm clock. The very thing that goes off every morning at 4am to remind me how much the United States Postal Service would love my company. On your phone, you can customize your alarm. You can pick a song or sound that would be the least painful to wake up to. You can even type something for your phone to say to you. This is kind of creepy, but fun. This is only scratching the surface. There is a bigger and better way to use the alarm clock to radically improve your life.

Now back to the thing that I found. I bet you forgot about that, didn’t you? I almost did and I am the one telling the story. I came across a copy of the book 3 Alarms by Eric Partaker. I read this some time ago and learned a great idea I would like to share with you. In this book, Mr. Partaker uses his alarm clock to remind himself of some very important roles he plays in his life. In fact, he used it to remind himself of what is truly important in life. I will give you the idea in a nutshell, but I HIGHLY recommend you get the book to receive the full benefit. Every day he sets 3 alarms on his phone. One to remind him to be the healthiest version of himself. One to focus on his career and lastly, one to focus on his relationships.

This is great for several reasons. The main one is that even the greatest intentions can be forgotten in a busy world. Like say this awesome book you read that you only recently found while organizing your home office. If daily your alarm clock would go off with a simple message of “Don’t forget to be the healthiest version of yourself.” and at that very moment, you are reminded of your goals to get both a smaller waistline and lower medical bills, what would that be worth to you? How about one that says “Remember to be the best spouse you can.” If it goes off on the way home, you might be tempted to swing by and pick up a surprise bunch of flowers. If it goes off in the middle of the work day, it might prompt an unprovoked loving text. Can you see how powerful this method is? Again, please get the book. I am only scratching the surface of how this can be used. You will be amazed by Eric Partaker’s story as well and the genius ways he uses a simple alarm clock to bring radical positive transformation to his life and how you can too.

As an added bonus, I suggest picking a time that is meaningful to you. It could be the time you were born. Not sure when that was for me. Even something like 11:11 or 3:33. The first picture is 12:34, which Margie and I use to celebrate…well…each other. It is an alarm clock of sorts. It reminds us to take a second out of our busy day to send each other love, if we can, or at the very least celebrate our love. What ways can you think of using the alarm clock on your phone to change your life?

MAKE SURE THEY MATCH 🔥

Last post we talked about celebrating the hard-working people. This post reminds us of a very important reason we do so. Actions always speak louder than words. We all know people who seem to constantly be talking a good game. They are going to start that business, they have that million-dollar idea that will change the world. Where do we find them a year from now? Right back where they were. Usually, we also find them saying the same things they were promising a year ago. The second time we hear it, we are always filled with a little less excitement, and a lot less expectation that they will follow through.

Those people sure can be annoying can’t they? Here is a shocking little truth. Aren’t we all quite often one of those people? “Oh not me!” I can hear you say. Still, once a year, usually around January 1st, we hear people say things like, “I have to start eating better.” or “I am really going to start working out.” When summer comes, where to we find them? Sitting on the couch with a remote in one hand and a doughnut in the other. I know. Temptation can be a hard one to overcome. In a busy world it is all too easy to choose the quick cheap option over the healthier, more involved option. It is far easier to spend $5 on a combo meal in the drive thru on the way home, then to go home, wash up some vegetables and make a salad. Even making ourselves some healthier burgers at home could take a good half hour. In which time we could have already thrown away our wrapper from our ‘not so happy meal’.

The cost of these decisions is far greater than the health aspect. It devalues something in addition to our heart health and waistline. It cheapens our words. When people hear us tell them we are going to start living healthier and six months from now we are buying the next size up, we look foolish. In fact, we may come across as being dishonest, or at least disingenuous. Do you know what is worse? There is someone else who is listening that values our words less and less. That person is the one who looks back at you in the mirror. When we do not keep our promises to ourselves, we feel consistently miserable and like a failure. What is equally terrible is we cease to even believe ourselves. When we declare that we are going to start living a healthier lifestyle, our declaration falls on deaf ears. This is true even if we are the only ones in the room.

To overcome this, realize a few things. When you say you are going to do something, create measurable goals to reach along the way. Write down your declaration on a piece of paper and place it where you will see it several times a day. Imagine you are a famous person being followed by the paparazzi and they are documenting your actions. Whatever it will take to help you stick to your goal. Hypothetically, let us say you slip up and eat some mini doughnuts at the farmers market you were at. What then? Put that extra time in at the gym. Make sure you eat a healthy dinner. Oddly enough, it may be healthy to give yourself a little pain. Feel bad about breaking your word. Remember, it is not as important what others think, but what the person between your own two ears thinks.

What words of yours cheapened by your actions? How can you correct this? We could all use a little help when it comes to this, so feel free to leave your suggestions below.

CHANGE THE CONVERSATION 🗣

Last post we discussed the magic we can create in our lives when we return the childhood act of finding the beauty that is all around us. If you haven’t read that, I highly suggest you do. When we are starting to make note of all the beautiful things that we might be missing in life, it can be helpful to at least start the habit alone. Once you see how much happier you are and how much more energy you have you will want to share this with everyone you care about! It would even help, sometimes to a greater extent, those people you find it difficult to be around. That is exactly what we are going to suggest you do in this post!

As tempting as sharing your new way of going through life may be, I suggest waiting for a little bit. The reason being, that some people could resist change, especially before they see the result. What is more amusing, I speak from personal experience, is to interject some of the beautiful things you have seen into your conversations with this person. When they are filling you will information about the latest violent crime or political happenings, just throw in the anecdote about how you had a nice saying written on your coffee cup you picked up in the drive thru or about a particularly charming garden you happen to see as you were driving. Initially, these may be swept aside after a brief acknowledgement. That’s to be expected. Many people do not know, and often feel uncomfortable, carrying on a positive conversation.

This may seem deflating initially. Especially in the beginning. Remember, these people have been programed, as we all have, to notice and concentrate on the negative in life. Do not be discouraged. Notice it, have an inward chuckle, and share a little bit more of the beauty you have discovered. Slowly, maybe after several meetings, they will stop resisting the positive elements you bring to the conversation. They may even feel compelled to share one of their own. They may realize, “I am meeting Neil for coffee today. I know he will have some positive thing to share. I guess I better have something to share as well.” Before you know it, they may even bring up positive elements to discuss. In this way, they will be helping you to remember to continue to focus on the beauty and magic in life.

There is one more very important reason to develop this habit of positive conversation. That reason is that adding positivity to anyone’s life, could literally be a lifesaver! We never know how our interactions can affect someone’s life. Let us make sure that they are positive ones. Sharing one more depressing news item, or one negative thing about the world at large, can push someone over the edge. The opposite is also true. Adding some positive conversation or some beauty and magic to someone’s life may change their entire day. It may also save their life if they are on that edge. Something we may often never know. Why take that chance? Make sure what you share with the world, and those it, is positive. The best way to do that? Use the tips discussed in this, and the post before it, to transform your life to one of beauty and magic!

NEVER STOP DOING THIS! ✋️

One of the saddest things that seems to happen as we age is that we lose an appreciation for the magic and beauty of life. It is no surprise. When we are young, most of the things we are exposed to offer an encouraging motif. Think of children’s programing. Most of it is a blend of encouragement of teaching and encouraging. I recall shows like Sesame Street and Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood when I was young. I learned a lot, but there were also positive messages about myself, others and the world around me.

What happens as we get older? What we are exposed to takes a decidedly negative shift. News, crime shows, content on the internet and even that sent to our phones. Is the answer to stop using technology? Limiting our use of it may help somewhat, but that will not save us from interacting with other people. What are these other people exposed to? That’s right. The same negative influences we just mentioned. If you even attempt to be a light in this dark world, you will often be looked at as strange, weird or delusional. People will tell you things such as “You are looking at the world through rose-colored glasses.” or my favorite, “You just have your head in the sand. Can’t you see how bad the world is?”

What can we do to remedy this malady? Start doing something we may have stopped doing in childhood. That is looking for the beauty and magic that is all around us! It may not get the press and attention, but it is there. On social media, try subscribing to positive news stories and motivational pages. On your cell phone, download apps that send you motivational quotes everyday. These things really do exist! As for the sunshine-challenged people we share the planet with? Know most of them have just lost their ability to see the magic all around them. When they give you a crazy look or attack you, pity them. There life is one stuck in the darkness. In addition, add people who have the opposite mindset. Spend as much time around them as possible!

When you are looking to improve your life, it is always easer to add the positive than to eliminate the negative. You might want to read that line again. If you are trying to eat healthier, it would be easier to add a healthy meal than to starve yourself of meals that are not so healthy. The more you fill up on healthy food, the less room you will have for junk food. The same is true with everything in life. The more time you spend reading or listening to something inspiring is that much less time you could find yourself exposed to negativity. Adding smiles? Less time frowning. One minute of laughter? 60 seconds less of anger!

In regards to today’s post, spend more time actively looking for beautiful things in life. The more time you spend doing so, the less time you will spend noticing and dwelling on the negative. That doesn’t mean you are ‘burying your head in the sand’ and pretending they don’t exist. No, you are simply choosing not to dwell on them. As an example, above is my coffee as it was served to me at the pick up window at Starbucks. Not sure which employee took the time to do this, but it added a little brightness to my day. As I was in that sunny mood, I noticed the dandelion growing through a crack in the pavement right next to a dumpster. Proof that there is always a little light in the darkness. When we are children, we don’t have to look for the magic. It seems to show up at every turn. As adults, we need to train ourselves to get back to that. This may mean a little concentrated effort searching for the beauty in life. Done enough, it will start to show up in your life everywhere.

Another great idea is to keep images around you that remind you of the beauty you have and are currently experiencing in your own life. Above is a sample of mine. Great times with the beautiful love of my life, Margie. My mom celebrating Octoberfest. There is fun times watching a pig race at the Wisconsin State Fair and a very beautiful and loving sentiment that Margie wrote in the sand while we were enjoying time away in Jamaica. This not only reminds me of the beauty and magic in my life, it adds what could be the most powerful thing to create an amazing life. That one thing is gratitude. How could I not be grateful for all of these things? Being grateful and looking for all the beauty that is around us will positively transform our lives. Next post we will learn how to take all of this information and not only help others transform their lives, but create an almost automatic way to fill our lives with these things! Please come back tomorrow to learn all of that!

BEGIN BY MASTERING THIS 🤔

In my first two books, A Happy Life for Busy People and Living the Dream, we discussed how our inner world affects our outer world. Your mind can either be your biggest obstacle, or done right, your biggest ally. Anyone interested in the law of attraction, has heard this countless times. It is true. What we think determines what actions we will take. The actions we take, in turn, will determine, to a great extent, the quality of life we live. If our minds are positive and encouraging, we will take actions that will lead to a positive and fulfilling life. If our heads are filled with self-doubt and negative thinking, we are unlikely to put ourselves out there and take many, if any, actions at all.

Like many self-improvement actions, this is simple, but not easy. Improving your inner dialogue and thoughts is a lifetime endeavor. It is an investment that is worth its weight in gold. The time you invest on improving what happens inside your head will manifest itself as a greater sense of well-being, inner peace and increased opportunities and accomplished goals. I recommend beginning this journey right now. You can pick up either of my first two books mentioned earlier, or even search “Improving my inner dialogue on YouTube or Google. There are so many resources available.

Working on improving the workings of your mind may seem like just one more thing you do not have time for. Let me assure you that it will be the most profitable investment you make. It will also be one you cannot lose. What you gain in knowledge and confidence will be with you the rest of your life and positively impact every area of your life. As Earl Nightingale once said, “Never give up on a dreamjust because of the time it will take to accomplish it. The time will pass anyway.” If you know of a resource that you have found especially helpful with helping you get control of your mind and thinking, please share it with the rest of us.

SPEND A LITTLE MORE TIME ON THIS ⏰️

I am big fan of the 80’s. Not only is it the decade in which I grew up, but I feel a lot of great music and films came out of that era. John Hughes, was a great filmmaker in the 80’s. One of his most popular films was Breakfast Club. A coming of age film that helped launch several careers. In the movie, kids from several different social cliques are forced together to serve detention on a Saturday afternoon. The principal requires them all to write a paper explaining who they are and why they are there. What is supposed to be a punishment, turns into an opportunity for the kids to transcend their peer created barriers and discover they have a lot more in common than they knew, or willing to admit.

You would think the lessons learned in a movie 38 years ago (I am feeling old now) should be something we mastered. Yet, in 2023 we can feel more divided than ever. People are being attacked for their color, their religion or their political beliefs. High school kids, disconnected through a world existing mostly online, never are forced to get to know each other. We still belong to certain social cliques. Not only as children, but as adults. As we grow older we tend to limit our exposure to those who are different than us. In some cases, we even vilify them. In the same turn, we often work to impress those we are associating with.

If we were to change our focus to bettering ourselves, I think we would discover a great deal about ourselves as well as others. That lesson is that despite our differences, we share many of the same struggles and aspirations. By focusing on bettering ourselves, we can be both an example as well as a source of hope for others. You only learn something by exposing yourself to something new. That not only holds true for books and experiences, but for people as well.

Let us all take a lesson from this movie from the 80’s. (watching it again might not be a bad idea) Let us take the time to really learn about those who are different from us instead of judging them. Let us change our focus from impressing others by making our life look perfect, to admitting our faults and vulnerabilities and working on improving them. This way, our life will not only look better, it will actually be better.

2 SITUATIONS TO AN AMAZING LIFE 👏

As so often happens, as I was writing my last post, a revelation occurred to me. There are 2 words that can really help us in living an amazing life. We are going to share those with you today, and hopefully you can find ways to apply them in your own life. Even better, you can share how you do so with all of us on this site. The more ideas we have, and the more we work together, the more likely we all are to live an amazing life.

The first word is tradition. In life, I find it is helpful to have traditions. We are not talking about traditions that you feel obligated to do. Quite the opposite. These are ones that bring you joy, inner peace or any other wonderful feeling. I mentioned that I had my yearly vacation at the Wisconsin State Fair. Without even knowing it, I applied these two words to make it one of the best years I have spent there. Which is saying a lot.

In terms of traditions, there are plenty we have. One of which can be found in the first photo. It is food from one of the stands, Krautland. We enjoy the family that owns it and the amazing hospitality they provide. The second, a more recent addition, is a picture of the dog diving. These dogs compete by catching toys the owners toss into a 40 foot pool. Both the crowd and the dogs have an amazing time. When we take part in either of these events, we are not only creating new memories, but reflecting on the great memories of the past. It always gives us something to look forward to.

The second word we touched on last post. That word is new. I think finding something fun and new is the key to keeping life fresh and exciting. We want to avoid falling in the trap of feeling like we are in a rut. Nothing can deflate the spirit more than feeling like there is nothing to be nervous or excited about. Again, I will use my recent vacation as an example of how to incorporate this. We discussed how we used tradition in the paragraph above, here is how we used newness. People often ask how I do not get bored going to the fair every year. Simple, I enjoy the traditions, and incorporate new things. This year, we did new foods such as a sweet potato latte, and the brat-e-o. We also went to different parts of the park such as the new Valentine coffee shop. I discovered a new local band I like. These are only 4 of the new things we tried among many.

In our lives, it is important to blend the traditions we know will bring us joy with the excitement of the new and unknown. When it comes to both, keep and open mind and be flexible. Perhaps the new restaurant you try may not be to your liking. That is ok. Maybe the tradition you enjoy may not work out as it has in the past. That does not mean you have to give it up. All of these are just stories and memories to create and share together. Tradition and new may seem like opposites, but they can work together to create an amazing life. How about you? What traditions and methods for incorporating something new do you have?

ASK YOURSELF WHY?🤷

Here lies the secret for reducing stress and saving energy. It amazes me how many educated adults waste their time worrying about other people and their opinions. That is not to say you should charge through life without a care about anyone else. Not at all. Those closest to you, and those who play an important role in your life should be handled with care. What we are talking about is those who do not play an important role in your life.

In today’s world of social media and ‘keyboard rangers’, there are a lot of people who feel the need to express their unnecessary, and often unwanted, negative opinions. I often relate the story of a stranger on the site Nextdoor who placed negative comments on a post of mine for 2 days straight. Why? Simply because my title was in all capital letters to delineate the title from the body of the post. He felt I was personally yelling at him. For 48 hours straight, this man continued to post hateful things in the comments of my post about positivity. What did he think of the post itself? He never actually read it.

Sun Tzu, who work the great book, The Art of War, tells us the wise warrior avoids the battle. Does that mean we should live our lives as cowards? Certainly not. What Sun Tzu was telling us was that in every battle there will be losses on both sides. This holds true not only in war, but in business, our career, friendships and our personal relationships. Even if one ‘wins’ a battle, or argument, there will be some damage done. That could be in the form of some resentment from the other party, damage to our reputation, hurt feelings from words or deeds that can’t be undone and a million other things. The point is, there is no battle that does not have casualties. Which leads us to our final point on the subject.

The most important decision when fighting any battle, be that militarily or personally, is whether it is worth fighting in the first place. You might want to write that down somewhere. If we run around responding to every fool out there, we will not only become very tired, very quickly, but we will become a fool ourselves. For it is a fool who attends every argument they are invited to. Again, you might want to write that down. Take, for example, a young lady at my day job. She has some severe anger management issues and seems generally unhappy with her life. There are times she lashes out at me and even spreads lies and vicious gossip about me. If I were to get upset every time she did that, I would end up as unhappy and angry as she is. Like our first photo reminds us to ask, is why would I care if this generally unhappy and angry lady is unhappy and angry with me? I don’t. If I were to spend my energy on that, I would have less energy for the things that really matter. I would have less energy to check in with friends. I would be too exhausted to make it to the gym. There would be less energy to put towards loving my beautiful lady. For what? To sink to the level of someone else? I don’t think so.

How about your life? Do you spend energy fighting battles that really don’t matter in the big picture? Do you worry if everyone likes you? Are you overly upset when one person decides not to like you? Why do you care? Again, if it is someone you genuinely care for, that is a different matter entirely. However, if this is just a negative Nancy, do not let them bring your energy down. Another warning about letting everything upset you, if you do so long enough, there will be a greater price to pay. When you are in a negative emotional state for a long period of time, your immune system goes down. You develop physical ailments such as an upset stomach or ulcers. It also starts to affect your outlook and well-being. It may even turn you into Negative Norman. Ask yourself, “Is the battle I am about to fight even worth fighting?” It will save you a lot of stress and a lot of energy for things that are far more important.

THE MEANING OF YOUR LIFE🤔

“Life has no meaning, life is an opportunity to create a meaning.” That is powerful stuff. Have you ever asked yourself, “What is it all for?” I am sure at some point in our lives, we have all asked that question. The ironic part is most of the time we ask it of others. Whether that be directly, as in asking a person what the meaning of life is, or searching for meaning in books, seminars and even blog posts and YouTube videos. The truth is the meaning of life is whatever we decide to make it.

That may seem a little scary to some of us. You mean there is no right answer written down somewhere? No book that will provide us the answers? No. What the meaning of our life is depends on what we decide we want it to be. Once we make that decision, there is a wealth of information to assist us in our endeavors. The secret is to not only decide on an empowering meaning for our life, but one that we are committed to emotionally.

In my own life, I decided the meaning of my life was to help others live a more positive and rewarding life using the tools and strategies I learned and have continued to learn. I do that by not only posting this blogs, but with my books, my YouTube videos and my Living the Dream with Neil Panosian podcast. The meaning of your life may be to bring joy and comfort to people through the creation of a special cake. It may be to pass along the healing power of creating art. It could be to be a good example to your children. It could be to correct social injustice. None of these are more noble than any other. In order to live a great life, you do not have to do great things, you just have to do everything with a great love.