Tag: self-improvement

DON’T TAKE 5 YEARS! ðŸ˜•

I love Marilyn Monroe. One of my favorite Hollywood icons. Margie and I have many Marilyn things at our house. This quote, although an exaggeration I am sure, makes a good point. How many of us have a hard time letting go of anger and frustration? When I use the term ‘us’ I am certainly including myself. When someone does something to upset me, I have a hard time letting it go. This is even more true if I do not understand why they did it in the first place. This is a character flaw I am working on, but still working on. Finding myself hours later asking, “Why would someone say/do something so hurtful?” is not only frustrating, but debilitating.

What I mean is that holding on to anger only extends the physical, mental and emotional discomfort after the original event has passed. This is like letting that person hurting you over and over again. It can also cause you increased blood pressure, upset stomach and suppressed immune system. This can lead to things like heart issues, ulcers and other illness. Is that really worth pondering why some fool cut you off in traffic? I would guess not.

One of the best ways not to have this issue is to take the suggestion of Marilyn above and try to avoid getting upset in the first place. There are several ways to do this including the realization the we can never be 100% sure of anyone’s intention. It also includes attaching new meanings to actions that offend and upset us. The most powerful way to beat anger is with gratitude. Being grateful will not allow us to be angry, at least not at the very moment we are being grateful. Whatever you do, work on reducing the amount of time you spend in anger.

MONDAY MOTIVATION 😎

Preparation, dedication and discomfort. Those are three words not many of us like to hear much less apply. Opportunity, success and growth sound a lot better. Yet, the first is the price of the second. We do not like going to the gym, but we like to be able to make it up a flight of stairs without employing a host of sherpas. We would much rather eat pizza everyday, but it is nice to be able to fit in our clothes. We find it uncomfortable to meet strangers, but we love making new friends. One has to happen in order for the other to take place. The more we do the former, the more we receive the latter.

Understanding this simple formula will not only allow us a greater measure of success, but will also help us make it through a greater deal of challenges along the way. When you are hyperventilating on the treadmill and your mind and body are screaming for you to stop, you know eventually this will lead to a stronger heart and more energy on the back end. When you are tempted to quit hitting the books, and start hitting the clubs, remember the formula. One action gives you a diploma to hang. The other course of action leaves you with nothing more than a hangover.

In life, there are rules that if we use them, will help us to live an amazing life. Knowing the harder we work, the more successful we will become is not only an important thing, it is the only thing. The more you prepare, the better you can take advantage of opportunities. The harder you work, the more successful you will become. Sure, it may not happen as soon as you want, but it must happen. You can rest peacefully in the knowledge that your labors will lead to success. It is as simple as this formula.

A LIFE SECRET ðŸ™Š

This is one of the many thought patterns that I use to help me live an amazing life. Allowing situations to be what they are is so key to reducing stress and increasing productivity. So many people spend their energy upset and complaining about why a situation is not to their liking. The only effect that this has is to raise their own stress level. We all know what a prolonged raise in stress can do to us both mentally as well as physically.

Allowing situations to be as they are does not mean you allow yourself to be victim to those situations. Quite the opposite. Fighting against the reality of the situation is like swimming against a current. You may certainly wish the river was flowing in the opposite direction. You can even complain that it is not. Neither of these will change the situation of the river, or more importantly, your situation. Conversely, accepting the river is going in the opposite direction you may want to go, and then making the best of it, may be getting out of the river and walking on the shore. Sure, it might not be as quick as if you were in a river flowing in the right direction, but it will be a lot less stressful, and a lot more productive, than swimming against the current.

In your own life, there are many situations that we wish were different. Accepting them for what they are, followed by asking ourselves how we can make the best of them is a secret to an amazing life.

HOW MUCH YOU LEARN ðŸ“š

Today is Thursday. It is about that time in the week when we begin to falter. Where we might have started the week out with enthusiasm and gusto, the weight of our endeavors may begin to start feeling heavy right about now. This holds especially true if you find yourself going through one of those periods where everything you touches turns to…well…manure let us say. Whatever you are involved in seems to go wrong. If you haven’t had one of these periods, rest assured it will happen. It is also rather frustrating. The harder you seem to try, the more mistakes you seem to make. It can feel like digging your way out of a hole.

It is leaning into the photo that started this blog that will help us. Raise your hand if you know that you learn far more from mistakes than from almost anything else. Keep your hand up if you look forward to making those mistakes in an effort to learn. I am guessing most of you put your hands down now. None of us like to make mistakes. At the moment we make them, it can be hard to look at them objectively and understand they are nothing more than a learning opportunity. Practicing this will benefit us in two ways.

My lovely lady is a cake designer. A very good one at that. This is one of her many creations. Being that all I know about cakes is how to eat one, I usually try to stay out of her way when she is creating them. On occasion, our paths do intersect when this process is taking place. What she is able to do never ceases to amaze me. Here is another fact about this amazing lady – she usually takes things to the last minute. wanting to deliver fresh cakes, and the need to make some parts shortly before the order is picked up, leave very little room for error. With stress levels that high, when a mistake does occur…well did I mention I usually try to stay out of her way?

One of the coolest parts of this happening, is that she always finds a way to create a new process or create a new way of putting things together that allow the cake to be completed and look amazing. Many of these ideas would never be realized had the misfortune not occurred and the pressure not be on. If you were to ask her if she would like for the frosting to melt, or some other cake related tragedy to happen at the last minute, I am positive she would say ‘No’. Being the honest lady she is, I am sure she will be the first to tell you that some of her best ideas come in these situations.

How about you? Do stress and challenges force you to stretch your mind and engage creative thinking that you may normally not use? That is true of all of us. Mistakes can be a vein of gold in regards to learning. To get the most out of that mine, we must be looking for what we can learn from our mistakes. Next time you find yourself seemingly making one mistake after another, ask yourself, “What on earth can I learn from all of this?” In order to overcome the emotional aspect of the moment, here is an idea. Start by reflecting on some mistakes you have made in the past and ask yourself what you have learned from them. The more you do this, the more mistakes will actually be something to be grateful for.

HOW SOCIAL MEDIA ‘DOESN’T’ WORK ðŸ’”

Ah, social media, the blessing and curse of modern society. There are two great lessons in the example above. To get the most out of social media, and life in general, we are going to look at both of them. We will want to repost this as often as we can in an effort to help the social media experience be better across all platforms.

The first lesson should be obvious, but since there is such an example, it must not be. That is this – if you find something that you object to online, feel free NOT to comment on it. You could just scroll past. Also, drawing conclusions such as the ones our imaginary friend did above happens far too often. Especially during an exchange between what is, at least chronologically, two adults. On social media, and in life, because someone likes something, or perhaps does not like something, does not mean they are evil, have a plan to take over the world or any other conspiracy that people launch into.

The second, and slightly less obvious, lesson is that you do not need to share everything on social media. If it will not add to the good of the world, what is the sense of posting it? Perhaps it may start some disagreement such as above. As we noted earlier, the world is full of people just waiting to get offended by something. This is not to say you just restrict yourself, just ask what is the reason for you posting what you are about to share with the world. Are you someone constantly posting ‘anti’ things against causes you despise? What is the purpose of that? Do you honestly think you will change someone’s mind? I hate to ruin it for you, the answer is likely ‘no’.

In conclusion, while enjoying social media, do not feel compelled to comment on everything that may affect you emotionally in a negative way. If something inspires, motivates or just makes you happy, by all means thank the person. Ask yourself why you feel so compelled to comment and why something someone wrote on an online platform excites you so much? Could your energy be better spent on a task that would help take your life to the next level? Is getting so upset by some words on a screen really good for your health or your spirit? If you find yourself so upset, go for a walk in nature. Do a good deed for another. These actions will have you feeling far better than a juvenile back and forth online.

PLAN WHILE IT IS EASY💪

It is Monday and many of us are facing that weekly challenge of getting back after it while doing our best to stay inspired. Today is a lesson that was brought home to me 2 years ago. I would say I knew this intellectually, but understanding it emotionally took some very extreme circumstances.

As most of you already know, in 2022 I had open-heart surgery. It included some bumpy moments including a brief flirtation with death. In talking to the surgeon and respiratory therapist after the procedure, they both informed me that had I not been in such good shape the outcome could have been quite different. Here is the thing, how long does it take to get in shape? The short answer? Far too long! Had I waited to take care of my body until I was informed of my need for heart surgery, there would not have been enough time.

Life seldom, if ever, gives us a warning that things are going sideways. That is why it is so important to do the difficult things while they are easy. Yes, it is tough to go to the gym after a long day at work, but it is easier to do than after we discover we have a health challenge that may prevent us from doing so. It is hard to get up and go to work, but it is far easier to do so before we have some financial challenge that may require us to do so even more. It may be difficult to turn down the doughnuts and not eat pizza every night, it will be even more difficult than when our health will prohibit doing such things.

If we do the difficult things daily, it will build a character that is strong and full of self-discipline. This will serve us when the difficult things are no longer easy. The same holds true for doing great things while they are small. I believe no matter how small the action you take is, if you do so with love it will be great. Ponder this as we begin our journey in to the week ahead.

DO NOT TRY TO WIN AWARDS THAT DO NOT EXIST.

How many of us pursue these goals? The quest for perfection in any category is a fool’s endeavor. We should always pursue becoming the best version of ourselves. That doesn’t mean we will be perfect. In fact, when we make mistakes, that gives us the greatest opportunity to learn about life and about ourselves. Being able to set boundaries and say the occasional ‘no’ will keep us mentally and physically healthy to be able to bring our best when we do say ‘yes’.

When you are pursuing awards, think in terms of ones that speak of your character. How about the award for being a true friend? There should be an award for being a loving spouse. A helpful coworker is always appreciated as well. These are awards worth pursuing. At present, it is a shame that none of them exist either. Make sure whatever you are pursuing will lead to the best for you and for your life.

I LEARNED TO SPEAK IN A PARKING GARAGE ðŸ—£

Here is an inspirational story that occurred to me when I was not expecting it. This is one of the perks of being an author and blog writer, you are subconsciously on the lookout for inspiration. Margie, my mother and I were on our way to the Milwaukee Public Museum for a special behind the scenes event. We were all pretty excited because the museum will be moving in a few years and you may not have an opportunity to see many of the things that were on display that night. The only downside to going there is driving and parking downtown. Luckily for us, at night there is an attached parking garage that is not to full in the evenings. This is where the inspiration happened.

It is ironic the inspiration of the evening came before we viewed any of the 4 million objects the museum has, including this cool whale over a staircase. When we were entering the parking garage, we were greeted by a friendly young man we will call Chad. This was kind of a small miracle in itself as the people at a parking garage barely recognize your existence, much less are friendly. After exchanging some banter, he even gave me a fist bump and raised the gate to let us in. I recall saying to Margie and my mom, “Hey, I just got a fist bump from the parking guy.” We all had an appreciative chuckle and enjoyed our night at the museum. I am sure this gents friendly greeting made it that much easier.

When we left, the parking garage was a lot busier as everyone was leaving the even at the same time. As we made our way up to the gate to leave the parking structure, guess who was there? My new friend Chad. We exchanged more pleasant banter and he even explained a little about the economics of the parking garage. He was so friendly, I gave him a card for this website as I felt he would really appreciate it. Although all of this was enjoyable, what he said next is what inspired me to write this post. “Thanks, I have an issue with my brain and they tell me I only have a year and a half to live.” I did my best not to be too shocked by this revelation, but I was thrown for a loop.

Here are the points I walked away from this experience with. One, I was extremely grateful that I was motivated to exchange some pleasant back and forth with this young man. Many times we just go about our business and fail to appreciate the human element involved in it. Second, it amazed me how upbeat and friendly this gentleman was. He only had a little over a year of life left and was working in the cold in a parking garage, yet he made our night so much better through his friendly demeanor. He could have been like every other parking attendant I have dealt with, and barely acknowledged me at all. Instead, this young man shared some friendly conversation, helpful information and a great smile. We are going back in a couple of weeks for another event. I hope to see my friend Chad again.

THE KEY TO BEING POWERFUL ðŸ’ª

The lust for power is one of the strongest urges in human nature. Wars are started over that very thing. In fact, we have several going on at the moment. Having power over others is the main motivation of many politicians and some in the religious field. Yet, many of these lack the true source of power. That is power over ourselves. If you have all the knowledge and tools to become successful, but lack the discipline to consistently put them into practice, you will not be successful. If you have no power over your emotions and let them control your actions, your relationships will certainly suffer.

Conquering ourselves may sound like it should be easy, but nothing is further from the truth. I recall hearing in a talk from David Goggins how the mind has the tactical advantage over us. That is so true. Our inner dialogue knows our greatest fears, it knows what our strongest desires are. If left unchecked, our mind can make us its slave. When we foster self-discipline and emotional control, we make the mind our servant. We use those fears and desires to drive us to take actions that lead us towards a successful life. If we do not invest in taking this control it will have us making the same self-sabotaging actions we have for years.

Gaining control over ourselves can be one of the most powerful investments we can make. It will allow us to become better in whatever field we are pursuing. It will also allow this to happen quicker and with less resistance than if we do not have control over ourselves. Invest in power over yourself and you will become a powerful person.

STOP INSULTING THOSE WHO BELIEVE IN YOU. ðŸ›‘

This quote is new to me, but the idea is not. When I am having a hard time staying committed to the actions that will improve my life, such as going to the gym on a cold raining morning, I think of those who believe in me. There are days that I do not feel I have the energy to write these blogs, but I think of all the encouraging comments I have received from all around the globe. These wonderful friends believe in me, I do not want to let them down. It can be hard to believe in ourselves. It can often be easier to think of those who do believe in us and let their belief carry us through until we can develop belief of our own.

One of the greatest motivations is pride. When you look in the mirror, do you like the person looking back at you? Sure, they might not be perfect, but if they are working their butt off to improve, you have to be proud. Sometimes, that feeling of pride isn’t enough. Then what? I will tell you what works for me. It might work for you. I think of all the important people in my life. When I do not want to work out, I think about giving Margie a man she can be proud of. Not only one that is in shape, but one that is disciplined to stick to his commitments, even when the motivation to do so has long since departed. When I do not feel like working on my blogs or books, I think of being the kind of son that will make my mother proud.

When we cease to make life all about ourselves, and stop and consider the people who love and believe in us, we can have all the motivation we need to tackle any challenge. Next time you are facing an obstacle, whether it is wanning motivation or something more concrete, think of who you would be letting down if you quit. To me, it is what keeps me going long after doing it for myself would have quit.