Tag: self-improvement

IT IS NOT ABOUT THE SPEED 🏃‍♂️

In the nanosecond, results now world we live in, this can be a concept that is hard to warm to. Try to convince a younger person that the quickest way is not always the best way and you may receive some quizzical looks. Improving our diet and fitness is not a quick fix, but the effort is worth it. Just one example. If you want to accomplish anything, there will be challenges, delays and a host of other unexpected items to contend with along the way. We may want to throw away all of our junk food, start eating only healthy food and go to the gym everyday after work. What we really need to do is focus on small changes that will last and build on our success.

The fact is we cannot always do it all at once. We must be like water and use our persistence to cut through rock. It may take longer than we would like, but the results of not giving up are undeniable. Take a look at the Grand Canyon! Social change, like the kind Mr. King made, takes a great deal of time. We would like to change the minds and hearts of others overnight, but sometimes they need time. All we can do is persist.

Although you may not accomplish your goal as quick as you would like, if you take as much action as you can, accomplish it you will. It may seem like you are crawling at times, but remember, you are still moving forward. If you are tempted to think it doesn’t make a difference, maybe having a picture of the Grand Canyon around would help.

THE POWER OF SILENCE 🔕

There are so many ways in which technology, and the crazy world in which we live, have made it easier to be successful. One of the ways is to keep our mouth shut. What I mean by that is to understand the power of silence. In a world where everybody is doing almost anything for their fifteen minutes of fame, staying quiet and composed can put us above the crowd. One fact is that your words, whether spoken on a podcast, written in a blog or uttered in a YouTube video, will be used to judge and define you. I am not advocating never saying a word, just make sure they are good ones. Let other people fill social media with useless banter. Let us take the time to choose our words wisely. Pondering this brings to mind one of my favorite Abraham Lincoln quotes.

Honest Abe was pretty good with his words. His most famous speech, the Gettysburg Address, is a rather short but powerful one. He often told amusing humorous stories, but did not waste words. One thing he did when he felt the urge to expound on the negative thoughts he had about someone was to write a letter. Then, he would put those letters in a drawer in his desk. Many were only discovered after his death. There is a valuable lesson to be learned from the former president here. If we feel the need to vent or spew some literary venom, we might want to confine it to a diary or journal. Let us keep our words short and powerful like Mr. Lincoln’s famous speech. Let that work remind us that you do not have to say a lot to have a huge impact.

THE BEST REVENGE 👌

This should be a lesson we learn as we make our way into adulthood. Sadly, that is not the case. When we are in school, if someone calls us a name we would call them one. Often, we try to think of a more insulting name to use. At the end of the day, both of us are insulted and walk away feeling a little bit less about ourselves. It is a complete waste of both parties energies. Watching the world of politics, it is clear several adults have never grown out of this phase.

Rising above the petty actions of our enemies is seldom, if ever, a fulfilling action at the time. What is great is how you feel upon reflection of the event going forward. “Yes, I was the bigger person.” is an answer that will last longer than any name you are called. If we lower ourselves to the actions of our enemies, we become no better than they.

Old Blue Eyes has some amazing song lyrics, but none are as good as this quote. While people are busy coming up with a bigger insult, we should be busy on improving ourselves and our lives. While they are spending their energy on actions to belittle or attack us, we can be working on bettering our lot in life. Then, at the end of the day they will be no further ahead, well we will be more successful. In fact, they will be further behind. Why? They have squandered the most valuable resource that we have – time. They have spent theirs concerned with our life instead of improving their own. Even if they succeed at temporarily derailing our life, how has it helped theirs? It hasn’t.

Take the above advice from Mark and Frankie. Do not be like your enemy. Instead, focus on creating your own success.

IT IS OK TO STUMBLE 🔙

A few posts ago, we wrote about how important it was to get out of abusive relationships. The same can be said about a job situation that is slowly killing your soul or any other harmful situation. Although these are logical steps to living and amazing life, they are far from easy ones. Relationships can be very difficult to get out of. Shared economics, promises of people changing, family and religious expectations can make things difficult. That job may give us a false sense of economic security.

As the picture above tells us, just to attempt such things takes a great deal of bravery. If we let our boss talk us into staying a little longer while we keep our eyes open for another opportunity, that is understandable. Do we give that person we know won’t change another chance? That’s up to us, but we must consider our own well-being. These things may take several attempts to accomplish before we can finally follow through. Do not beat yourself up if you fail on your first attempt. The fact that you are endeavoring to better your life takes a lot of guts.

Whether it is giving up unhealthy eating, smoking or an abusive partner, it may take time and several attempts, but each one is an act of courage and a chance to learn something new about ourselves and our situation. Even if you stumble, do not beat yourself up, and certainly do not give up! You are brave for even trying.

A NEW ADJECTIVE FOR US ALL 🫂

Here is a word that I would like to put in all of our vocabularies. The ability to embrace things about us that are not perfect, especially in today’s world, can be quite difficult. To do so and still be able to understand that we are still beautiful, wonderful and amazing people can be next to impossible. One thing that may make that easier is having a word to describe just that. “Flawsome” is something we should all be. We all have flaws, yet we are all rock stars at something too.

Flaws are not always the curse we see them as. When viewed by others, flaws can make us relatable. Often, having flaws gives us credibility. How much would you trust someone who tells you they are perfect at everything? I know I wouldn’t. When you own your flaws, and understand they do not make you less of a person, you make it more difficult for others to use them against you.

If there are two things I know about the people I love in my life, it is the fact they have flaws, and they are still totally awesome! Those two facts hold true about you as well. Do not let things about you that need improvement convince you that you are anything less than the beautiful soul you are. You, me, and the rest of the world are all “Flawsome”.

USE THIS DOUBLE-EDGED SWORD ⚔️

One of the most interesting things in my life has been regret. This emotion is certainly a tricky one. It can paralyze us. How many of us beat ourselves up over actions we took long ago that we can’t undo. I know I still do on occasion. I used to tell people that this was foolish. However, much like everything in life, I asked myself how I could use this feeling. The worse I felt, the more powerful the feeling was. That, in itself, was the answer. It was a very powerful emotion, albeit a negative one. How could I, and more to the point you, use this situation to our advantage?

Regret is one of the worst emotions. At funerals it even surpasses loss. Wishing you would have, or should have done or said this or that can torment you for the rest of your life. Here is what I have learned about regret – it can be something to be grateful for. This may sound crazy, but let me explain. In my own life there have been so many regrets. I think about the way I acted and treated certain people. Many of those words and actions cannot be undone. What those terrible feelings can do is drive me to treat everyone the best I can moving forward. I regret not taking better care of myself, but those feelings can help me focus on my physical and mental health moving forward.

A lot of people will tell you that you should get over regret. I am going to tell you to use it. Whenever those feelings crop up, find a way to do the opposite. Regret not telling someone you love them before they passed away? Reach out to a friend that is in your life currently and let them know how much you care. The best way to deal with regret is to put it to work for you creating an amazing life.

THE ULTIMATE MEASURE OF A PERSON 📏

A few posts back we spoke about the dangers of letting comfort become an addiction. Many of you were asking, “Why seek discomfort?” This is a fair question. Why spend your life pushing and pursuing the difficult path. For one, it leads to greater destinations. The steeper the climb, the better the view. If you wish to become truly great in any field, there will be lots of work and sacrifice. Nobody has ever grown to greatness sitting on the couch.

Another reason is put forth to us in the quote above by the great Martin Luther King Jr. It is challenging times that give us the best opportunity to show our true character. In this quote he uses the term ‘man’ but it holds equally true no matter the gender. Challenges provide us an opportunity to stand up for others and for our principles. It is easy to stand up for what is right in a room full of people who agree with us. Will we still be willing to stand up for what we feel is right when it is unpopular? When it is difficult?

More important that the opportunity to prove ourselves to others, is the chance to prove ourselves to…well…ourselves. Will you still make it to the gym after a hard day at the office? (hint, that is the day it might be most beneficial) Will you still be able to be kind to others when your life is going through a rough patch? These are things that you can only find out for sure during the dark times.

Challenging times are never fun, and life can often seem too full of them. Still, they can provide opportunities that just cannot be found when life is easy. Next time a challenge comes into your life, ask yourself how you can put it to use for you. Before long you will become just as grateful for the challenges as you are for the good fortune.

BECOME INDEPENDENT!

Today in the United States, we celebrate this country’s independence. Our wonderful friends across the pond in England, I imagine not so much. Today’s post is about something a little more personal. Something that we should all be looking to celebrate – personal independence.

In the world we live in, there are far too many people doing things for social media likes, click bait and to strive for their 15 minutes of fame. Here is what many of them fail to realize. If you are doing something for the approval or attention of others, you have become indebted to them. They rule you. Of course we do not want to look at it that way. This does not stop it from being true. What we need are individuals who are brave enough to declare their own independence. Free from the opinions of people on social media. Free from the approval of the masses.

Few things are more painful than when you hear about a young person doing something because they wanted to be cool. Most of the time these things are dangerous, harmful to others or just stupid. All because they did not have the independence to do what they knew was the right and honorable thing to do.

Today, let us declare our independence. Let us do what we know is right and not what will get us likes. You cannot be truly free until you are free from the concerns of the opinions of others. We must be free to take the actions that will allow us to become the best versions of ourselves, even if they prove to be unpopular. There may not be fireworks or a parade, but personal independence is something worth celebrating.

THE VITAL FIRST STEP ☝️

Another great stoic quote! You may be thinking that you are not currently sailing to any port. In life, a ‘port’ can be any worthwhile destination. The greatest failure of modern humans is their lack of clarity on what they want out of life. If you ask someone what their goals are, they give you answers like “I want to be healthy, happy and make more money.” Sure, we all do. Those goals are generic and pretty much go for everyone.

The ‘port’ to which we are referring to is the overall purpose of your life. What are you here for? Some people say they are waiting to discover their purpose. As if life were going to drop down out of the sky and hand them a big sign telling them what they should be working towards. That isn’t going to happen and that is not how it works. We must decide what our purpose is. What sets our heart on fire with passion and desire? Here is a clue, it has to be something greater than ourselves.

Without clarity and direction in our life, any amount of good fortune will be wasted. Not to mention, the more clear we become in our purpose for life, the more likely we will be able to use any wind in life to assist us. Even the ones that seem to be blowing against us. Without a destination in life, we are not very likely to get far. In fact, we are most likely to spend our days filled with confusion and frustration. It will seem as if life is going in circles and we are getting nowhere.

Invest some time today to get perfectly clear what you want out of your life. It will be one of the most profitable investments you could make. It will not only help you take advantage of any good fortune in your life, it will help you reduce stress along the way.

ONE OF THE WORST ADDICTIONS 🫨

What a perfect post for a Monday! While it may be true that Marcus Aurelius was not privy to some of the wicked substances we have today, he is certainly on to something here. All of us, myself included, are guilty of becoming slaves to our comfort. There are things we know we should do, but we do not because they cause us some discomfort. Yes, we should meal prep, but that takes time and effort. We worked all day and it would be far easier to throw in a pizza. We know we should work out, but eating that pizza and watching a little television certainly sounds a lot more comfortable.

Once in a while it can certainly be to our benefit to take a little take to ourselves. Here is the tricky bit, it can lead to quite a bit of time. I find this true with the gym in my own life. I love going to the gym. It helps me a great deal with stress more than anything. I know after a great workout, I will not only be less stressed, but I will have more energy in the back end. I usually go to the gym 3 or 4 times a week. There are times when something crops up that I miss a day. Do you know what seems to happen after that? Something else crops up the next day…and the day after that. Before long, it has been a week or two and I haven’t returned to the gym. Comfort becomes…well…too comfortable. I know that I will feel better if I go, but my mind and body have become used to the sloth it is engaged in.

The ironic part about comfort, is that it slowly ruins our life. It is in discomfort that growth occurs. Think of any area that you wish to improve in your life. It will take some discomfort and effort. Comfort can become a habit…a dangerously destructive habit. Do not become addicted to comfort. Become addicted to success and improving yourself.