This is something I think all of us are guilty of to some degree. I’ve been guilty of it even after I knew better. The irony is that by listening to understand, you are in a position to formulate a better reply.
Listening to understand instead of reply is so rare that it will make you stand out. Showing genuine concern and compassion for others will not only reflect well on you, it will have others reciprocating.
The next time you are feeling frustrated that someone does not appear to be truly listening to you, use that frustration to remind yourself not to do the same. Your friends will thank you. Your spouse will thank you.
On the journey to self-improvement there are many tricky obstacles. One of the toughest is that we share the planet with people who have no intent, or desire to improve themselves. There are those who feel the need to treat others poorly. I have seem a man berate a coffee shop employee because he coffee was 5 degrees too hot. Not only was it almost impossible to tell that exactly, he could have waited a few seconds and it would have cooled down. That is enough to make someone watching that behavior upset. A more constructive approach is to let it remind us of how important our kindness and compassion to retail employees is and how much it is appreciated.
There are those who have no regard or care for their health. This is especially hard to watch if it is someone we care about. If these people persist in neglecting their health and lifestyle, it will remind us how impactful those two things have in our own life.
To me, one of the most frustrating is watching those individuals who make it their life mission to live in a world of self-created drama and terrible decisions. Lack of accountability and any actions towards improving their life can drive you crazy to watch, and certainly to listen to. What every episode can remind us of is how important working on ourselves and our life is.
All of these people can be a challenge, but they can also be a great reminder. We should be grateful when the universe shows us how important kindness, compassion and self-improvement are. These fine folks can be just what we need in our life to motivate us to take the next leap in our own development. Be grateful for the lesson they bring.
This quote from Epictetus really makes it simple. For those of you who do not know, Epictetus was a slave before becoming a philosopher. That is certainly an auspicious start of there ever was one.
Picturing who you want to be is something we should do daily. Keep focused on the individual we wish to see looking back at us in the mirror. Myself, I wish to be staring back at a best-selling author who is changing people’s lives for the better and leaving the world a better place.
Once we get clear on exactly who we wish to be, the next step is thinking about what it will take to get there. Even if we do not know the exact steps to get there, we can focus on the traits this person would have. A best-selling author would write every day. They would focus on developing their craft and vocabulary. This is why, for the last 1300 days, you have seen a blog from me.
This weekend take some time to get clear about the kind of person you wish to be. This is not only professional, but personal as well. Do you wish to be more positive? More disciplined? Then decide what you have to do to get there. It would help to write it down and check in with yourself every morning. Maybe while looking in that mirror? Before long the person starting back at you will be the person you want to be!
It is so important to remember that greatness, and success, are habits. There is a quote that says “it is better to be a warrior in a garden than a gardener in a war. ” What that means is that it is better to be prepared for a situation and not have it come, than to be unprepared for an event that is now here.
When it comes to success and greatness, being prepared is so important. We have seen countless celebrities get fame quickly and not be able to deal with it. They end up in rehab or worse. We must practice success in every area of our life. It isn’t just how you do one thing. It is how you do everything. Make sure to keep this in mind next time you are making dinner, cleaning the house or any other supposed little thing. It is in these little things that the seeds of greatness can be found.
I cannot assume you had the chance to read my post on the one Christmas gift I wanted, so allow me to explain the title of this post. No, it is not a recommendation to be extremely materialistic. During Christmas, people asked me what I would like for a gift. Living in a state of gratitude as much as possible, I could not think of anything that would make my life more incredible. I have a gorgeous woman who loves me (see photo above), amazing friends that add greatly to my life, and experiences that bless me in ways I cannot often imagine. Walks in nature and coffee with my mother and friend Nick, fun and laughter with friends, and of course all of the amazing loving moments with my lady.
When thinking about all of the blessings I have, the only thing I could think that I would want, was more of the same. When pondering resolutions for the new year, the same thought came into mind. That thought was simply more. I enjoy making my lady feel special and loved, because she is both. In the coming year I will do that more. My passion is helping people see the greatness inside them and the world around them. This year I am going to work on doing that more. Sharing special moments of love and laughter with family and friends will be done more often.
How can I manage to do more of all these things? It will definitely take more energy. It will take more knowledge as well. How can I gain more energy and more knowledge? By working on becoming a better version of myself. Eating better, working out more consistently and listening and learning more. There is so much material at our fingertips, we can often overlook some of the easiest ways to improve. Eduardo, one of our self-improvement family from Italy recommended a great book on how to improve communication in a relationship. Not only were there great tools and strategies in this book, but it reminded me that there is always so much to learn. Pick any subject and spend an afternoon on Google and YouTube exploring that topic. You will be amazed at what you will learn. Do that for a week and you will walk away an entirely different person.
It is exciting that you can Google, “How can I be a better author?” for example. There will be many ideas for you to explore. Type the same question into YouTube and there will be videos addressing the same subject. Think of the possibilities! You can do this with how to be a better husband/wife, how to be more romantic, how to be a better listener, how to be a better friend and a million other questions. For once, we could use technology in a constructive manner to serve us instead of the other way around. Some of the information we will discover may not be a fit for us, but if you were to spend an hour, five days a week invested in learning on these or any other subject, think of how much further along you would be! That would be over 6 working weeks of time spent on self-improvement! You would only need to do it an hour a day and you could even take weekends off! Do you see how easy it could be to get ahead?
The best way to add ‘more’ to every area of your life and to make each area better is to work on the common denominator in all of those situations. That common denominator is YOU! By becoming the best version of yourself, you positively affect every area of your life. It is as easy as consuming content that is already out there. It does not cost you anything but a small fraction of your time. This should excite all of us in the year to come! I look forward to bringing you more, and better, content in the year to come as I work on improving myself. What areas of your life are you looking forward to learning more about?
It is the first day of the year! 2026 is upon us. Let us start the year with intention. Everyone says “have a healthy and happy new year. ” What do we plan that puts us on the path to doing so?
This day, let us take a few moments to think of what we can do this year to add to our health and our happiness. It does not have to be a grand gesture. In fact, it is better to have something that you can do consistently. A small act that that can add just that little bit of joy, or a little bit of health.
What could these things be? It could be a walk after dinner. It could be taking 5 minutes a day to pause and reflect on what you are grateful for. We will take a closer look at that in the coming posts. What little thing do you feel you could consistently do to add health and joy to your life? Feel free to leave it in the comments below.
Here we are sitting at the end of another year! We all made it through. That itself is an accomplishment! There are many ways in which people celebrate this occasion. Many people go out drinking. Not sure i see the benefit of starting the year with a hangover. To each their own i suppose. Another tradition is creating resolutions. This is better, but self-improvement should be a year-round process.
This year I’m going to start a new tradition. Quite simple. Before the clock strikes midnight, take a few minutes to sit down and record the 3 best blessings that happened to you in the last 12 months and what they brought into your life. You could even purchase a nice journal to do this in every year.
Ending the year with a grateful heart does more for your life than a hangover. Do both is that is your thing. Just be smart and safe about it. You could add things to your journal if you like. Maybe 3 blessings you are looking forward to coming in the new year. Either way, this would make a fun transition from old to new. Tell me what you think!
One of my favorite things I have ever written (see my book Living the Dream) and also my favorite YouTube video I have done (search Neil Panosian on YouTube) is writing your own eulogy. The reason why is that it offers an amazing solution to many of the things we struggle with in our life. That can include direction and clarity. There are countless books read and billions of dollars spent on finding our life’s purpose and on the best way to live our life.
The irony is that it really is not that complicated. One of the quickest and easiest ways to answer these questions is to write our eulogy. When we ponder what we would like our life to be remembered for, we know whether the actions we are currently taking are moving us in that direction or not. We also know what to do and what not to do that will have us living a life we want to be remembered for. Like planting a tree we will never sit under. Taking actions that will have a positive effect on future generations is what not only gives our life purpose, it is what creates a great legacy.
Recently, more value to this writing your own eulogy has been brought to my attention. That is thinking of specific areas of your life and certain people. Think of people that you consider important in your life. What would you like them to say at your funeral? Even though you will not be there to hear it, the point is that it will be what they remember you for. This will not be the same for everyone, obviously. What it does provide is direction on how we should treat and act with each person individually. When I think about my love, Margie, I think of one set of actions. When I think of my friend Nick, the actions are obviously different. However, each ‘eulogy’ would give us the proper actions we should take.
In what is a somewhat less personal aspect, think of other areas of your life. How would you like to be remembered at work? Someone who always complains or someone who always encourages others? Either way, you know the actions to take. How about in your community? Do you want to be remembered at all? If so, make sure to get involved. It could be as the helpful neighbor. You could get involved in community groups or neighborhood clean ups. To, of course, how you want to be remembered as a person. This may seem vague, but it should not be. It is how you act and treat people on a daily basis. How are you to retail employees? How are you when you talk on the phone to people? How do treat strangers and people who can do nothing for you? These people may not give a eulogy at your funeral, but their memories will be there just the same.
As you can see, writing a eulogy can offer a lot to your life while you are living. It can offer direction and clarity. This is true with not only your life in general, but specific people and situations as well. When your life seems turned upside down and you are not sure what direction to go, I suggest doing two things. First, list everything you are grateful for. This will give you a better mindset and help you see that you still have a lot going for you. The second is to write your eulogy and think about what you would want people to say about you. Is that currently where you are? If not, what actions do you need to take to correct that? The answers will reveal themselves and you will know where to go from there.
We speak at length how to accomplish many things in life. Goals, aspirations and relationships. One of our greatest accomplishments can be found in the relationship we have with ourselves. Is it a truly authentic one? This also plays into our relationship with others. Are we confident enough to be ourselves in the company of others? In a world of social media highlights and filters, being ourselves can seem like less than everyone else. Here is a newsflash we all may have forgotten, there canbe a competition. Here is why – we are the only person we can be. Nobody can be us, and we cannot be them. We could strive to do so, but we cannot only end up a cheap copy of the real thing.
That should be liberating to hear. When people, including our own brain, think we should be further, they are forgetting that each person has a unique journey that travels at the speed that is right for them and their lives. The only person whom we should strive to be is a better version of the person we were the day before. This takes courage and resiliency of character. If we are able to be ourselves in a world that is trying to change us into something else, that is one of the world’s greatest accomplishments!
This post could have been titled “Secret to an amazing relationship”. That is what this quote is. A truly great relationship is not just about intensity, but longevity. That may seem painfully obvious, but it is worth saying here in black and white. Even if a relationship has the burning passion of a bonfire, what good is that passion if it burns out rather quickly? Of course it would be great to have a passionate relationship that lasts for a very long time, if not forever. The million dollar question is how to do that.
Consideration is one of the very important tools you can use to give your relationship longevity. Being able to look at a situation, and consider its ramifications, from your partner’s point of view is a priceless skill. It is true that we will never know with 100% certainty how something will affect our partner, friend or coworker. What we can do is use the tools and strategies at our disposal to be able to have an educated and informed thought on the matter.
What tools and strategies will allow you to best be able to consider the other party’s feelings and how the situation may affect them? There are a few big ones I would advocate putting into practice. The first one is active listening. When the other party is venting about something that upsets them, pay attention. When they mention what would bring them joy, pay attention. If you ever have a question about the matter, do not assume. Asking questions for clarity is part of active listening. Listening with the purpose of learning and understanding is also part of active listening. If you go into a conversation with a plan of learning more about the other person, you are more likely to be successful with it.
The other aspect that can really help you better consider another party’s position on a matter is having meaningful dialogue. Many people call this “Having the hard conversations”. They may seem like something you may not want to do, but being able to know where someone stands on a difficult issue prior to that issue occurring, is a big advantage. Begin the conversation by letting them know you are asking because you want to know how best to act should that situation come up. Make it clear you are interested in their feelings and the health of the relationship between both of you. When they do tell you how they feel, or where they stand on a certain issue, accept it without judgement. Remember you are not trying to get them to think like you, just understand how they think.
Using these tools and strategies your relationships will stand a lot better chance of succeeding. When you show consideration for another, it demonstrates that you value them as a person and their roll in your life. If you are wrong in your estimation of how a situation may affect them, or how they feel about it, learn from that too. Before long, all of your relationships will start to improve.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 