Tag: Self-Help

STOP THE DANGER 🛑🚦

This idea was given to me by the love of my life. When we returned from an amazing weekend away we encountered and passed by several accidents. I am very grateful we were not involved in any of them. When you think of serious accidents on the road, usually drunk driving comes to mind. Rightfully so. In the country I live in, every day 37 people are killed in drunk-driving crashes. That is roughly one person every 39 minutes. That is inexcusable. With the advent of Uber and Lyft, there are so many options to use that there is no reason to get behind the wheel when you are impared.

Here is the scary part, according to another survey that is not even the greatest threat. 56% of fatal crashes stem from reckless driving. I get it, you are waiting for an important call or text. Maybe you had to leave the house before you could get your make up perfect. You don’t want to show up looking like you just got out of bed. Do you know what is worse? Not showing up at all. I tell Margie all of the time, “Better late than not at all.” If you feel you must do whatever it is that is pulling your attention away from the road, do yourself a favor and pull yourself away from the road. Can you imagine causing several thousand dollars worth of damage physical injury just to put on your lipstick? Sounds silly if we word it that way. To me, this is still not the worst thing to do while driving.

In reckless driving, you are trying to do too much. What is worse is “aggressive driving”. These are people who are full of rage. Their gas tank may be full, but their patience is usually on empty. We saw lots of these on our journey home. One man decided for himself that the red light we were all waiting on was too long for him and just went through. Another fellow drove with two wheels on the sidewalk at roughly 15 miles over the limit just to get around traffic. Ironically, we both got to the red light at the same time. I hear many people in the news arrested for such activities claiming their actions do not hurt anyone.

Let us look at the numbers for reckless and aggressive driving. According to Bankrate, speeding – a form of aggressive driving – was responsible for 11,258 deaths. Those numbers are from 2021, they have only increased since then. Road rage, when people get angry at other drivers, was responsible for 12,610 injuries and 218 murders. Can you believe that it is rational in someone’s mind to murder another person because you do not like their driving? As they are being sentenced to give up several years of their life behind bars, what will their reason be? He cut me off? Ridiculous.

Take steps to avoid being a reckless or aggressive driver. Wait to check your social media, or pull over to do so. If having your make up just so means that much to you, be ready to sacrifice your punctuality. Either that, or begin getting ready sooner. If you suffer from road rage, try a quick meditation, such as paying attention to your breath, before starting out. Please, save all the stunt driving for your video games. It is not worth your life, or worse someone else’s. This shouldn’t be any surprise, but never get behind the wheel if you are under the influence of any chemical.

All you need to do is view the pain caused to families who have been ripped apart by a person who took too many risks behind the wheel. If you are putting other people’s lives at risk, remember someone may be doing the same to yours. Only by acting together can we eliminate this entirely preventable tragedy.

AND IN THIS CORNER…🥊

I always enjoyed the beginning of a boxing match when the Master of Ceremonies introduces the fighters. “And in this corner….” It has such a feel of pomp and circumstance. Wouldn’t it be fun to be introduced like that everywhere you go? Imagine walking into work and you hear over the intercom, “Now entering the office…number one in sales…it is Jane!” This example only works if your name is Jane, but I think you can get the idea. This sounds great until you hear the next line, “Weighing in at….” Not many of us would want our weight broadcast to every room we enter.

Today marks the end of a four-week journey of health and fitness that Margie and I were on. It came from a local gym called Peak Physique. The owner was named ‘Trainer of the Year’ in our city. He is also a good friend. It included a meal plan and fitness classes. This will be our second time we took part. The difference between the two experiences was night and day. The first time, we followed everything by the book. We were focused on the result. We wanted to lose some weight and win the challenge. It felt like we were constantly in the kitchen or grocery store shopping for ingredients. In short, it felt like a sacrafice.

Fast forward to four weeks ago. We came into this challenge better prepared and informed. We also brought something more important with us – a better attitude. We gave ourselves a little more freedom with the menu. We stuck to the dishes recommended, but did the ones we learned that we liked from the previous time. Our focus was not on ‘winning a challenge’ or even so much on ‘losing a certain amount of weight, but more so on becoming more healthy. Instead of sacrifice, it felt like an adventure. Were there times it was a challenge to bring our sore bodies to workout? Sure. When that happened, we focused not on winning a challenge, but on how much healthier our bodies were becoming. We were falling in love with the process.

The truth is that we already feel like winners before we even get on the scale. Taking control of your health and what you put in your body can be a challenge, but like we discussed with emotions, if you eat solely for pleasure, you are constantly chasing that ‘high’. Not only will it take more of the food, but sweeter and more decadent food to achiever the same amount of pleasure. Then, the food controls you. In your head you know that it is making you unhealthy, but you are at the mercy of your emotions and your cravings, you become a slave. When you learn to eat to fuel your body, your strength, your health and your immune system, you take back control. You use food and not the other way around.

This is a very difficult struggle for many. It is okay to indulge on occasion. Just make that the exception and not the rule. Once you begin to turn it around, you will be amazed at the positive changes taking place in your life. Tony Robbins once said, “Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels.” Eating that sugar and deep-fried food may sound fun and pleasurable, but at what cost? A body full of inflammation and sickness? Is that worth it? Becoming healthy is a process. You must be patient with yourself and your body. Those cravings will stick with you. After all, they have had their way for years. Everyday you get a little bit stronger. Everyday you get a little healthier. Be proud of yourself for every accomplishment you experience on your journey toward a healthier you. If you want guaranteed success, do what Margie and I did – fall in love with the process.

THIS IS WHERE THE POWER IS 🔋

Here is one of the secrets to an amazing life. This may seem like an obvious conclusion, and for the most part it is. Here is the tricky bit, try remembering it in an emotionally charged situation. Reacting, as easy as it is to do, makes you a slave to outside circumstances. They control your emotional state, they control you. This is true whether that is a rude driver or a flat tire. Mindful acting, as difficult as it can be, puts you back in control.

Would you like to control your life, or would you like others to? Again, that sounds like a foolish question, but one that could serve you when you are tempted to react. Here is another thing that reacting to outside circumstances steals from you, in addition to control, it steals a feeling of security. If your emotional state is determined by things outside of your control, you will never be certain how you will feel. Can you imagine trying to plan anything not knowing what kind of mood you will be in? This can be demonstrated at work the day before you leave for vacation. Nothing seems to bother you. Boss upset? It is alright old chap. Project you were working on fell apart? That is a problem for another day. You walk through life unfazed! What if I told you that you could go through life this way? It is true. Unless you are my boss reading this, in which case I do need to go on more vacations to demonstrate.

Gaining control over your emotional state not only provides you a feeling of security, it also helps add a great deal of inner peace. Knowing that you are not going to let outside circumstances influence your emotional well-being gives us a sense of calm and inner peace that those who react will never have. I have been on both sides, trust me on this one. You decide how you want to feel. Look at outside obstacles for what they are, challenges to test and strengthen your resolve. With each test, you will gain greater control over your emotions and gain a greater sense of inner peace and security. Try it this weekend!

ARE YOU BUYING OR SELLING? 💰

Ben Franklin said many interesting things in his lifetime. I think this might be one of the best. In today’s world, a lot of people are addicted to material bliss. You see packages from Amazon on their doorstep daily. They have to purchase the latest model of cell phone whenever one comes out. When we tie our happiness to the accumulation of material possessions, we cease to own them and they begin to own us.

This is not an anti-material post. I am not advocating selling all of your possessions and donating the money to a worthwhile cause. I like to purchase items here and there as well. The problem comes when we derive our main source of pleasure from accumulating material possessions. Ask yourself, is that me? It is good to purchase nice things for you and your family, but there is something better.

Another great quote! I love the first line, “You’ll never see a U-Haul behind a hearse…” If we spend our lives focused on obtaining material objects to the detriment of everything else, where will that leave us? Think of when you were a kid and had to have that new toy. When you finally got it, you were so excited. It was the best day ever. What happened two months later? It just became another object. You moved on to want the next greatest toy. In essence, your money, or in this case your parents, did not buy a toy, it bought two months of happiness. There is a better way to use your capital than always chasing the latest and greatest new thing, be that electronic gadget, fashion or social status.

To demonstrate what I am saying, let me refer to the pictures above. On top is Margie and I at the Wisconsin State Fair, one of my favorite places. I have purchased many things there. Can’t think of one off the top of my head. I can remember lots of silly times with my love. Then there is a picture of me, my uncle and my sister at a reenactment. Do you know what we bought there? Me neither. Do remember lots of interesting things I learned. Then there is Margie and I at an October Fest. I obviously purchased a large container of beer. Can’t tell you what kind, or even if I liked it. I am more of a rum guy. What I do remember is having fun and discovering new food and drink together. Lastly, there is a picture of Margie and my mother making bracelets. I can’t remember much about the bracelets. I do remember they were made on a soup crawl through the city we live in. It was in the middle of winter and very cold, but we all had fun.

Referring back to the Quote from Denzel Washington, look at the last line. “It’s not how much you have but what you do with what you have.” As you can see by the examples above, spending money to create memories goes a lot further than a material item. In fact, material items can become a burden. You have to find a place for them. You have to clean them. The more things you have, the more you have to put away and clean. When the fateful day comes that you must leave this world, think of what will become of the stuff you leave behind? In short, it becomes someone else’s burden.

Do not sell yourself to pleasure. Find that pleasure in the smile of the one you love. Find that joy in a beautiful sunny day. Feel the refreshing drops of rain. Create beautiful memories to leave with your children instead of the latest gadget.

MAKE SURE TO ADD THESE TO YOUR WEEKEND PLANS💯

Taking time to just enjoy the company of good friends is something that friends our soul. After work, stress and negativity fill our week and days, we need time with someone who lifts our spirits.

It is essential to not only have these people in our lives, but to spend time with them and appreciate them. Another great thing we can do is to be this kind of friend for others. Be someone who is a breath of fresh air to everyone they encounter. It is a gift that is priceless. Make time with people like that this weekend.

GOOGLE TAUGHT ME A VALUABLE LESSON 📱

Every so often, I search myself on Google. This is not some exercise in vanity, or to serve my ego. As an author, I like to make sure that the information and links are correct. Go ahead and Google “Neil Panosian” yourself. You will discover many new and fun ways to connect with this author.

In doing so last night, I learned something that taught me 2 very important things. They came one right after another. I learned that an interview that I had done was picked up by a local Fox News affiliate in New York. That means I was able to reach and hopefully inspire people in a new region. I was keenly unaware this even happened.

That is where the second lesson came to mind. This one was even more important. It made me realize the parallel between this interview and life in general. All too often, we feel we are not having the impact, or doing as much good, as we would like to. Much like this interview, the good we do can often travel farther than we ever realize.

Unfortunately, there is no Google to see how much we have impacted the lives of others. What this story does remind us of, is that we may never know how far our influence may reach. Let’s make sure it is a good one and know that we make more of a difference than we can ever know.

CLICK HERE TO READ THE INTERVIEW I GAVE THAT WAS PICKED UP IN THIS GREAT STORY IN NEW YORK

WORK ON YOUR SUPER POWER TODAY!🦸‍♂️🦸‍♀️

Do you ever find yourself getting discouraged at the state of the world today? I think we all can. With the wars, civil unrest, violence and general discord we see and hear about, it can be a bit difficult to remain positive. Yet, the more negative the world becomes, the easier it is for us to make a difference. Traits like love, kindness, compassion and encouragement become more special the less they appear. Some days, using them at all makes you a super power. Sharing a smile with a stranger is not only unexpected these days, it is shocking to many. A kind and encouraging word to someone working in a busy retail environment? Nothing short of a miracle!

You may be asking yourself how much of a difference you are really making. That is understandable. If we are putting forth effort to make everyone’s day a little brighter and we seem to be outnumbered by those who are determined to complain and bring everyone down, it can seem like we are not making a difference at all. The opposite is true. To illustrate how powerful being kind and loving to the world can be, please allow me to use an analogy. If you think of all the positivity you attempt to bring to the world as light, which is pretty close to accurate, this example will ring true with you. If you are in a bright room, or it is the middle of the day, and you turn on a lamp, how much of an impact does it have? Not much generally. Sometimes, you can’t even tell you turned a light on. Now, imagine being trapped in a cave, unless of course you are Closter phobic, then a dark bedroom would do. What happens if you even turn on a flashlight in that situation? It transforms the entire room! That is how kindness and compassion work in a negative world.

Next time you feel like your kindness is not making a difference, think of this example. When you feel like the world is becoming a very dark place, know that being a light will make an even greater impact. Here is one more thing to consider. How many dark rooms do you encounter? Meaning, how many negative environments do you find yourself in? It could be the gossip at work. It could be the stress of a busy retail location. How about a stressful situation at home? The darker the room, the greater impact your light will have. Kindness, love, compassion and encouragement are not only powerful, they are super powers! Develop yours today!

MAKE IT A PRIORITY THIS WEEKEND 😊

It is the weekend and we deserve to relax. However, we also deserve to live a life where our dreams are accomplished. One way to make this happen is to realize that what we do is based on what we find important. Perhaps you are thinking that after working all week, you need your rest this weekend. Maybe your weekend is filled with plans with family and friends? Then getting up early could be the answer for reaching your goals. I can hear the responses now. “Get up early?” “On the weekend?” Most people say they are not morning people. If spending an hour a day could help you write that book you have always wanted to do, would you do it? What about starting that new business you dreamed of? If it is important to you, waking up early is not that difficult. If I were to tell you that you could have 5 million dollars if you met me at a coffee shop at 6am, where would you be at 5:59? Why? Because 5 million dollars would change your life.

What works even better is if you do take the weekends off. Schedule your hour first thing in the morning. That way everyone is still sleeping. You can make yourself a nice cup of coffee and focus on your goals. You might think it would not be worth it to wake up a whole hour before you actually have to. Let me give you some numbers. If you work one hour a day on your dreams and goals. If you only do it during the week and take the weekends off, how much time is that? That would be 260 extra hours a year. That is 32 and a half 8 hour days, or over 4 and a half working weeks dedicated to achieving whatever goal you are pursuing. How much further do you think you could get with that extra time?

I usually write for an hour after work as I already wake up at 4am. That still gives me the time we mentioned. In addition to the 55 hours I work at my day job, I have managed to write 2 books in the last year. I have also delivered blogs for the last 330 days straight. All from an hour a day. Try dedicating a focused hour of your day, only 5 days a week to your goals and see what happens. Do this for a month straight and see how much you can accomplish. You will be amazed!

SECRET TO MORE HAPPINESS 😊

It is Friday. Wouldn’t it be nice to just be able to relax a little after a week of work? That is exactly what this post is not only about, but advising! The quote from Nathaniel Hawthorne above says it best. When you chase happiness, it always remains just beyond your grasp. Do you know why that is? It is because happiness is an inside job! When you chase happiness is some thing, or every someone, there are many times when you will end up disappointed. You are putting the key to your happiness in their pocket. Sometimes, they are too busy to take that key out of there pocket.

When you sit down in a calm and focused manner, happiness, much like the butterfly, will find you. This is shown in pictures of one on my mom’s shoulder and in the hair of my beautiful lady. The key is being calm and focused. What should you be focused on? What you can be happy about in the moment. It is easiest to try this on a good, or even neutral day. Another way of looking at this, is what you could be grateful or thankful for. Try this right now. You could feel joy that you have access to the internet on which to read this. The internet not only allows you to read this inspiring blog, but material on every other subject you choose. Think about this. You have access to more information that even the greatest leaders in the world had only 50 years ago. You can be grateful you have health, to whatever degree you do.

This works great to give ourselves a lift to brighten our day. This works good when things are going well, or even neutral, as we mentioned earlier. It can work even better when we are having a tough day. If you have practice doing this on the good days, which I cannot urge enough to do, then it will make it easier when times are tough. Just had a tough day at work? Be grateful you have a job. Furnace went out at home? You have a place to live. You got a flat tire? Well, you get the idea. Every bad situation could always be worse. Even losing someone we love, which to me is probably the worst situation to have happen, leaves us grateful for having love for that person while they were in our life. Many people live a life devoid of any real connection. It may be cliché, but it is indeed better to have lost in love, than never to have loved at all.

Begin today to make a habit of sitting down and noticing what you can be happy for in your life. It only takes roughly 5 minutes of your time, but can transform your whole day. Not to mention, it puts control of your personal joy and inner peace right where in belongs – with you! I would love to hear what practices you have for developing a feeling of joy and gratitude and what you are thankful and happy for today.

YOU ARE WELCOME TO JOIN US! 🙏 😀

I would like to share two things with you in this quick post. I would like to begin by sharing something that makes me happy and that I am very grateful for. I will follow that by giving you a personal invitation.

I want to begin with something that really makes my heart soar and fills it with gratitude. This blog now has followers in over 200 countries. Some of you who are regular followers that stop by rather often. I consider you friends and companions on the road to living an amazing life. Eduardo in Italy, Elena in Romania, Grace in both Tanzania and Kenya. Thank you for not only reading what I write, but for also offering your amazing feedback and insight. I feel like I have a friend in almost every country around the world. The exceptions being ones who cannot access what we share here for political reasons, and Greenland for their own reasons. If you have a second after you read this post, I would love to meet all of you. Until I become a rich and famous author and can fly to you in person to shake your hand, it would mean a great deal if you would take just a few seconds to introduce yourself and say where you read this blog.

I love hearing stories from every corner of the globe. There is a gentleman in Lebanon who prints out posts to hang in his office to share with his coworkers. My good friend in Italy I mentioned earlier, shares them on his social media. To a woman who reads them to her Grandmother in Peru because she is not online. This I am so grateful for as well. I can hope to reach everyone, but without your help in sharing, I could not imagine succeeding. A big thank you to all of you who share our inspiring content.

Now for that personal invitation I promised you. I want to invite you, the wonderful individual who is reading this, to join our global community. You can subscribe to this blog at secret2anamazinglife.com, join the Facebook page of the same name, or even follow our podcast at Living the Dream with Neil Panosian. In any of those cases, you will be a part of a positive-minded community that spans over 200 nations. In our online family, there is every race, creed and culture. We encourage and inspire each other. When you do subscribe, you can drop in whenever you have a need for a little motivation and inspiration, or even better, when you have a little extra to share.

I want to again thank all of you in our global, online family. 200 nations strong and only growing. Every time you hit “like” or leave your feedback in the comments, you bring a smile to my face and joy to my heart. Whenever you share our content, you do the same to so many across the globe. So, once again, I want to express my deepest gratitude and invite you to join us on our journey to live a more positive and rewarding life.