Tag: Self-Help

MAKE IT AN ADVENTURE!

I thought this a humorous little picture, but as with many things, I saw the opportunity to use it as a self-improvement tool as well. For many of us, there are days at work that seem rather trying. You work 12 hours only to find the clock has only moved 3 hours. It can feel like you worked all week but find out it is only Wednesday. Even if you love your job, there are days you would like to escape. That is where this funny quote seems to give me an idea.

At my day job, we have some interesting characters to say the least. One gentleman, who has since moved on, had a unique take on making the day more enjoyable. When I asked him how he does it every day, I expected the usual sarcastic response. Instead, his eyes lit up as if he had been waiting for someone to ask him that very question. “I think of my work vehicle as the Bat Mobile and I am Batman.” Not quite what I expected, but you could tell he was passionate and excited. It got him through the day.

Imagination is a very powerful tool. As I was sweating with my new trainer, I explained that in my head we were having this workout on the beach drinking out of coconuts. Recently it was several degrees below freezing here. It takes a good imagination to think you are on the beach, but with a little help you can do it. Put on some fun tropical music. Have a diffuser with some scents of pineapple, vanilla or coconut. Look at pictures of tropical locations you have visited, or want to visit. All of these things can help transport ourselves to another location.

Next time you find yourself in a situation that you would rather not be in, remind yourself that there is no law of physics or biology that states your mind and body have to be in the same place at the same time! Close your eyes and transport yourself far away.

SURVIVAL GUIDE 📖

This has been something I have been sharing for even longer than the two decades I have been working in the self-improvement industry. What you go through will often be painful. You may doubt that you will ever make it through. When you do, it may very well become your greatest tool, and your greatest gift to others. Sharing your story, including mistakes you made and hurt you felt, can be what saves the life of another. So many of us can feel alone when we are going through our struggles. Hearing a story of someone else who has went through the same struggle can help give us hope and the will to power through. At the very least, it will help us understand that we are not alone.

It would be foolish to think that going through a painful experience would be anything less than devastating. We will hurt, we will suffer. We may even doubt that we will make it through. If we can somehow keep in the back of our minds that we will one day use it to help someone who feels just like we do now, that may give us the strength we need to make it through.

For those of you who have already made it through your pain, or maybe are currently working through it, please share your story. It doesn’t matter if you are still struggling. It is actually is better if you are. It will help you better relate to and reach other souls who are in pain. In doing so, you may find the healing that otherwise seemed out of reach. No matter what your struggle is, no matter where you are in your healing, someone out there needs to hear your story.

SUCCESS IN PROGRESS 🚧

Have you ever dreamt that you wake up with a new talent? Maybe you can play the piano, maybe speak another language? When you went to sleep it was something you could not do, but when you wake up you are perfect at it. Have you ever heard of this happening in real life? Of course not. Which is another reason to remember that honestly, there does not have to be anything called failure. The only time we really fail is when we give up. If we haven’t given up, it isn’t failure, it is just a lesson we have learned. Like playing the piano, where we might hit a wrong note more often than a right one, or speaking a new language when we accidentally call someone a pig when we just meant to say hello. We will make mistakes along the way.

This is far easier to understand intellectually than emotionally. I get that. In fact, I am one of the people who really hate to look foolish at anything. Luckily, I always have a beautiful woman to remind me I am learning and to cheer me on along the way. We must learn to be our own cheerleaders, however. We must also find a way to remind ourselves we are learning and not failing. How would you do this? I am open for suggestions.

WHAT IS YOUR SYNDROME? 😷

This picture came up in my Facebook memories from 12 years ago. What a different lifetime ago that was! I had not even met the love of my life yet. I was also an entirely different person. I have learned and grown so much in the last 12 years, I would not even recognize myself in the mirror if I were to look back. This made me think of the difference in what syndrome they might name after me now verses then. It is an odd and somewhat humorous way to look at things, but it could really serve us.

How about you? What characteristics do you think people think of when you pop in their mind? Are they positive? Are they negative? If it is the former, keep it up! If it is the latter, you know what to do, change them! Do you have some qualities that you would hope that people would associate to you? If so, just start working to embody those very traits more often. Personally, I would like people to think of someone who encourages and empowers others when I come into their mind. Therefore, in the new year I am going to do my best to live those qualities. How about you? What traits do you think you are an example of? What traits would you want to be?

YOUR LIFE IS WONDERFUL 😊

Today I am going to see the movie It’s a Wonderful Life with my mother. It is her favorite movie and a holiday classic. In it, a man during the depression faces many set backs and challenges. Fearing he may not even be able to provide for his family he contemplates taking his own life so his family could at least collect the life insurance policy. While deciding weather to jump off a bridge and end it all, an angel appears and decides to show him what the world would be like if he had never been born. He realizes all of the lives he has touched and the differences he has made. Eventually, it occurs to him that despite all of the challenges his life was…well…wonderful.

During the holiday season, we can face so much stress, and sometimes sadness, that it may become overwhelming. We may not reach the depths of feeling the character in the movie did, but we can suffer some seasonal, or even daily depression. We may not have the benefit of a heavenly being showing us what a difference we make, but we all do make a difference. There are so many lives we touch on a daily basis that we will never know. Some may be too shy to voice their appreciation. Many never even think of doing so. After all, if it is not something you grew up doing, the chances you will do it are quite slim. All this to say that so many lives are touched simply by having us in them and we may never know.

Many of you might be thinking, “I really don’t make a difference. Trust me, you do. There is an answer to this feeling. Go out and make a difference. This doesn’t have to be something grand. It can simply be offering a smile and a genuine compliment to every person you encounter today. During the holiday season, I am sure all of my friends working in retail will tell you what a tremendous difference this makes. Another way that you can make a positive impact in someone’s life was mentioned in the paragraph above. Did you catch it? Letting someone know that they make a positive impact in your life is a gift worth its weight in gold. Nothing touches the heart like knowing you touch someone else’s heart.

There is today’s message. Your life is wonderful and you have a chance to make other’s lives wonderful as well. Take care of each other.

IT WILL COME…

We have all been here, have we not? You are working towards a goal and it seems nothing is happening. I certainly can relate. I am sure you can too. Even though it may not seem like anything is happening, there is much going on that we cannot see. Even the strengthening of character that is coming with the patience waiting to see progress. More often that not, when we look back we realize that we could not have accomplished what we did without the progress that was happening that we did not see.

It reminds me of the growth of the bamboo tree. Once a bamboo is planted, it must be watered and taken care of every day for five years. If it is not, it will die. During those five years, nothing visible happens. If you didn’t know better, you might think the seed was no good. Once is does start growing, however, it can grow up to three feet…a day! This can be like our goals we are working for. It can see nothing is happening, but if we do not continue to work nothing will happen. If we persevere, one day our growth will explode. Keep this in mind as you continue to strive towards your goals.

DO YOUR DUTY 🫡

As the holidays get into full swing, our calendar becomes full. We are running around shopping for others. Perhaps we are at home cooking for others. There are still the usual commitments on top of that. What gets lost in the shuffle is time for ourselves. This doesn’t only happen during the holidays either. Life moves at such a rapid pace we can wear ourselves out trying to keep up. One job that we cannot slack on is loving ourselves. It is of the utmost importance.

Loving yourself does not involve arrogance. What it does involve is self-care. We need to take care of our health so we can show up for life and for those we care about as the best version of ourselves. It involves making ourselves a priority. Knowing that we may not be able to attend every holiday party we are invited to. We may not have the finances to buy gifts for everyone we would want to. That’s ok. By taking care of ourselves, we allow others to do the same. By loving ourselves, we demonstrate that we feel we deserve that love. We also learn what makes us feel loved. This is important when others wish to make us feel loved. In fact, if we do not love ourselves, we can make it impossible to feel that we deserve love from others.

Loving ourselves allows us to really appreciate and fully receive the love that others share with us. When your spouse tells you that you look attractive, but you are used to putting yourself down, it can be hard to believe much less appreciate. When you know that you have beautiful qualities, that compliment from your loved one is much easier to believe. When you can fully receive a compliment, it not only makes you feel better, but the one giving you the compliment as well. Think of it. If you tell someone they look nice and they always respond, “No I do not!” How likely are you to continue to compliment them? If they respond, “Thank you so much for saying so. That really means a lot.” How much better would you feel knowing that they appreciated your compliment.

It is your duty to love yourself. This does not mean you have to be perfect. It means that you are doing the best you can and showing up for others the best you can. You might have things about yourself that you don’t like, that is fine. Those things might be what someone else loves. You are an amazing soul and realizing that will not only benefit you but everyone else that you share life with. Don’t they deserve that? Don’t you?

NOT EVERYONE…🤨

When you are on the journey of self-improvement, you can often to run into people who seem to be going in the opposite direction. Maybe they are just sunshine-challenged. Worse, they may try to be a cloud to your sunshine. My first inclination was to try and help them improve their lives. That is a good thing to do. Some people suffer simply out of ignorance. They do not know what they do not know. Introducing them to some fun and simple self-improvement tools that could make their life happier and healthier is a noble venture. You would be giving them a gift greater than any other.

What happens when they reject you and your attempts to bring light into their lives? What happens when they continue to be a downer or even worse? I refer you to that great bit of wisdom, “You can lead a horse to water but you can’t make it drink.” Many people doubt that they can improve their lot in life. You can plant the seed, but if the soil is not fertile, it just will not grow. Rather than waste your time watering it and giving it all of your sunshine, use it as a reminder of what your life might look like if you do not work on your self-improvement. It helps me to even send them a ‘thank you’ for reminding me to stay on the sunny side of the street and keep a positive outlook. This is best done in your head. Changing the feelings of frustration with their behavior to one of gratitude for the reminder will make our life much less stressful. It will also decrease the likelihood that there will be a conflict between the two of you.

Remember that not everyone wishes to improve their lot in life. Working on saving the entire world is not only exhausting, it is a fool’s errand. Some are just happy leaving their life up to outside circumstances. Inside your head thank them for the reminder to maintain your own efforts. By maintaining a sunny disposition, they may come to you when they are ready to improve. If that day never comes, you will at least be less stressed by not spending the energy on watering a seed that will never grow.

MY PLAN FOR TODAY ☕️

I hope this quote gave you a little chuckle like it did for me. I think it is helpful to have something that is not only a little silly, but encouraging as well. A quote like this can start your day with a smile and a little boost. As for me, I am certain to accomplish the first part of the quote and as long as Margie thinks the second part is true, I will be good.

Life is full of challenging times and challenging people. Having a quote like this to help get us through could be worth its weight in gold. It would also be a great response to the question, “How are you?” or “How is it going?” Having an empowering answer to this question can have a great impact on your life. Why? Think about how many times a day someone asks you how you are. At the very least, it is something you will answer at least once a day. Having an answer that is positive and uplifting means that you will be saying that very thing at least once a day. It is like repeating an affirmation. Conversely, I have heard all manner of sarcastic and negative answers to this question. Why you would want to speak negative over your life is beyond me.

Find your empowering and silly quote now. You can use this one until yours appears. Think of a positive response you can reply with when someone greets you. If you can make them smile as well that is an added bonus. Think if you ask someone how they are doing and they smile and look at you and say, “Living the dream with amazing people like yourself!” That may very well brighten your day. The more you repeat positive statements, the more they seep into your subconscious mind. Doing this long enough, it becomes your reality. I would love to hear some of your ideas of positive and silly quotes below.

YOUR ENERGY IS YOUR CURRENCY 💶

Have you ever read a great deal of negative news, or perhaps been a part of a very negative conversation? One so negative that you actually felt exhausted when it was over? That is because you have spent a great deal of your most valuable currency foolishly. We only have so much mental, emotional and spiritual energy. It can vary from day to day. Just like you have more physical energy on some days than you do on others. Maybe you didn’t sleep well? Maybe you have a physically exhausting job to tackle. The next day you may have gotten sleep, had an extra cup of coffee and are ready to go!

The same can be said for our emotional and spiritual energy as well. We only have a finite amount of it every day. Are we going to waste it on the negative news of the day? The sad part is that often we waste so much of our energy on the unfulfilling, that we are ‘energy bankrupt’ and unable to afford to give any attention to things that would fill our hearts with joy.

Mastering our attention does not mean being ignorant to the fact there are challenges in life. It is deciding how much of our energy and/ focus currency we are going to spend on them. It would be a good idea to use the 80/20 principle here. Spend 20% of our attention on the problem. Defining it clearly. Then, spend the remaining 80% of the time on possible solutions. It would be a great idea to start every morning giving our attention to something that feeds our soul. Read something from your faith. Find an inspirational website, such as the one you are currently reading. Begin each day giving attention to something positive. It would also be wise to devote your last bit of energy before sleep to something positive as well. This again could be reading something positive. It could also be keeping a gratitude journal, meditation or a host of other things. You will not only sleep more peacefully, you will wake up with more positive energy for the following day.

Think of this as you go throughout your day. Remind yourself you only have so much energy and focus currency. Ask yourself, “Is this really what I want to be spending my emotional currency on?” If not, acknowledge the issue and move along to something that makes your heart happier.