Let me begin this by saying that I FIRMLY believe cauliflower cannot become pizza. In fact, I feel it is not good for much at all. Personal opinion part now over, let’s get on with the post.
Often you may think you are not cut out for your dreams. Perhaps you may think you just don’t fit in the role you are striving for. I think today’s technology where they make plastic out of plants, and a million other things, it should be evident that you can make anything out of yourself as well.
On behalf of all of us here at Secret2anamazinglife.com, Welcome to 2025! We have a lot to look forward to this coming year. Are we looking at facing some challenges? We sure are, but we are going to do them together. You reading this blog are part of a supportive community that are all striving to improve themselves, their lives and the world around them. You are not alone on your journey. We also have many milestones we are looking at reaching here at this site. We are less than 100 days away from reaching our goal of 1000 straight days of content. We will be close to 3000 total posts on this site. My fourth book will be released, hopefully by the end of July.
I want to hear what you are looking forward to this coming year? What goals are you chasing in 2025? More importantly, how can being a part of the Secret2anamazinglife community help you in reaching those goals? If the last few years have taught us anything, it is that we go a lot further together than we can alone. In the coming year, I look forward to interacting with more of you here on this site as well as hopefully meeting more of you in person. When it comes to 2025, we got this!
By this time tomorrow we will be in a new year. The quicker we come to grasp the thought above, the better that year will be. The quicker we take full responsibility for our own life, the quicker we will be able to make the changes necessary to go from striving to thriving. If we are truly serious about improving our life and changing what isn’t working there are two things we must do first. We must be honest and clear about what isn’t working in our lives. If we say on occasion we don’t eat the best, when in reality our 4 food groups are ice cream, pizza, chips and beer, we will not stick with the change. Even if you have a map, you cannot get where you are going if you are not clear on where you are starting from.
That leads us to our second step. We have to become disgusted with where we are. If you want to get in shape in the new year, but the 30 extra pounds you are carrying around doesn’t bother you that much, let’s be honest, it is not likely you will stick with the change. We must demand better of ourselves. We must fully desire the best version of ourselves. We cannot do it for the money, for the opinion of others or for significance. No, we must be unwilling to accept our current state in life. Change your inner dialogue to one that drives and motivates you. Create a powerful ‘why’ that will carry you through on days you might not want to take action.
It is important to know that the only one with the power to save us in the New Year, is the person staring back at us in the mirror. If you put the power to do so in the hands of others, you are sure to be disappointed. Nobody should care more about your life than you. It is time to save ourselves in 2025!
There are several examples of this that we can look at. In 2024 we may have been hurt. We might have been knocked down. None of this could have been our fault. What we must focus on in the new year is what is our responsibility. That is our healing. There is a Latin phrase Amor Fati. It means the love of one’s fate. What we should strive for in the new year is accept what our situation is and learn how to make the best of it. We might not be where we want to be, but we must be honest about where we are. Not quite a best-selling author just yet? Good. You have a chance to learn more about the wonderful world of book marketing. Perhaps your blog that is followed in over 200 countries is still not in Greenland? Great! There is still room to expand and goals to reach. These examples are purely hypothetical of course.
The point of all of this is to say that we must not curse our fate, but learn how we can improve it. Change our focus from our hurt to our healing. That is how we will make the best of the coming year. 365 days from now we can look back and be grateful for the healing we have experienced. We may still have hurt, we may still have struggle. By changing our focus from hurt to healing, we will be well on the path to inner peace and a more fulfilling life in 2025.
The next 3 days we are going to look at things to get ready before the New Year. Today’s post is about changing our perspective on happiness. Many people spend their lives chasing happiness. It really is a fool’s errand. For one, happiness is usually a reaction to outside circumstances. Joy, on the other hand, is more of an emotional state. Put another way, happiness is a destination, and joy is a way of traveling. What we can do is focus on the setting up situations that create happiness for us. It would be even wiser to focus on what has us feeling joy in our hearts. Let us take a look at a few of these.
During these last 360+ days of posts you may have grown tired of me bringing up a certain topic, but here we go again. What of the greatest ways to not only feel happy, but create inner peace and joy as well, is to foster an attitude of gratitude. The reason gratitude gets so much attention is because it works. Being grateful turns what you have into enough. It helps us frame life in a more positive perspective. Realizing there are many things that are worth celebrating in life. It can conquer fear, anxiety and anger. It can help with depression. Finding a gratitude practice to start in your life would be one of the best things you can do for yourself in the New Year. You could start a gratitude journal. You could fill a photo album of things you are grateful for in your cell phone. That way gratitude is a push button away.
In addition to gratitude, another great way to increase joy in your life is to focus on how you can best serve others. When you increase the amount of joy and smiles in someone else’s life, you cannot help but feel better yourself. The best service usually involves something you are naturally good at or enjoy. If you are a good listener, find a way to help people really be heard. If you are a good baker, fill people’s hearts with joy by filling their stomachs with treats. Help an elderly neighbor with the grass or shoveling snow. Whatever you do, use it to help others and your world will end up a brighter place.
In the coming year, do not waste time chasing joy. Instead, focus on filling your heart and journey with genuine joy. Be grateful. Find ways to serve others. Remember, the more people you bring joy to, the more happy people you will be surrounded with and the more they will want to do the same for you. That way, you will not have to chase happiness, it will naturally come to you.
This weekend as many of us ponder what our New Year resolutions might be, let us frame them in a way that we focus on what we will gain. Want to quit a bad habit such as smoking? Don’t focus on ‘giving up’ cigarettes. Instead, focus on ‘gaining‘ freedom and fresh smelling clothes and better breathing and sense of taste.
Whenever making an adjustment, whether that is a healthy diet, a calm mind or anything else we are looking to accomplish, I suggest focusing on adding a positive instead of eliminating a negative. Social media is a great example of this. Many people say it is too negative. They begin to try to eliminate negative people and sources. Not a bad plan. By simply adding more positive ones, the likelihood they will see negative decreases. This is the same way life works.
Think of healthy eating. If you add eating one healthy meal a day, your stomach will have less room for junk. If you spend more time with positive people, that’s less time you can spend with negative people. Focus on the gains this coming year!
When I was young, I liked the cartoon Mighty Mouse. He would swoop in at the last second with his favors cry, “Here I come to save the day!” After which, he would pretty much do just that. Growing up, that’s what I wanted to be. That’s why I always worked to be the best at whatever I did. I recall winning an award for being Milwaukee’s best bartender. That was cool. I won the ‘Friendliest person in Greendale’ award… twice. Also very nice. Came with a little plaque and flowers. Nominated for best Milwaukee author. That was an honor.
All those were great, but I failed to recognize what all these were a part of. It is the greatest award that any of us pursue, and none of us will be officially recognized for. Sounds great, doesn’t it? That is being the best version of ourselves. It is an award we will chase daily. Sometimes we will come close. We will not get a plaque or flowers. Nobody will hand us a trophy. What we will get is something even more priceless. We will have peace in our mind and our heart knowing that we did the best we could. As they say, an honest man’s pillow is his peace of mind.
The reverse is also true. When we don’t give it our all. When we cut corners. Perhaps we even cheated to get ahead or were dishonest. Yes, we may accomplish the immediate results, but at what cost? That knowledge will continue to eat away at our soul until there is nothing left.
I tip my hat to those brave souls who battle to be their best everyday. Not for recognition or rewards, but for the virtue of it. For the peace of mind and for the example it sets for future generations. Those are the true super heroes. Those are the people who will truly come to save the day.
One of the greatest self-improvement tools are affirmations. They help us access the subconscious mind and improve our inner dialogue. This can be vital as according to research, 70-80% of our inner dialogue can fall into the category of negative criticism. Can you imagine being forced to hang out with someone who talks negatively about you 70-80% of the time? That is what most of us do between our own two ears. Changing your inner dialogue can be a tough task. That is why affirmations can be such a helpful tool. As helpful as they are, there are several issues with affirmations.
Some of the greatest challenges of affirmations are the conscious minds disagreement with the statements. If you are repeating “I am full of abundance.” and you are sitting in your broken down car, your brain will be tempted to say, “No you are not! Look at your car.” This is why is is helpful to change it to things like, “Abundance is all around me and flowing to me.” Something your brain can’t argue with. Another way to get around this is using ‘Askfirmations’ which we will address in more detail in a later post. Essentially, it is rephrasing your affirmation as a question. Such as, “Why am I getting more abundant?” “Why do opportunities keep showing up for me?” The reason this works is that if you give the mind a question, it is hard wired to find an answer to it. It is rather like putting your mind to work for you.
Affirmations work best when done consistently. One of the challenges to this is the crazy busy world we live in. How do we remember, and more importantly, dedicate time to doing affirmations? One way to tackle this is to set an alarm on our phone. We do this for a time we can reasonably count on. For 5 minutes we repeat our affirmations. We can do them 5 minutes before bed. Not only will we say them, but the mind will continue to work on them as we are sleeping. Our partner may wonder what we are mumbling on the pillow next to them, but we can just reassure them we are working on creating a better version of ourselves.
My favorite way to do affirmations is to work them into things we do everyday already. One opportunity that often goes under used is your reply to a common greeting. How often do people ask “How are you doing?” or some other form of the question? Average people are asked several times a day. If you are in an occupation where you work with the public, that amount goes up considerably. Therefore, the answer to that question is something you say daily. Why answer with a simple, “Good.” or “Fine.” when you could turn it into an opportunity for improving your inner dialogue? Can you imagine answering something like “I am great and getting better all of the time.” or “I’m getting healthier and happier every day.” If you get in the habit of making this your response, you will be automatically saying an affirmation several times a day.
You can see how your response to a simple greeting can improve your life. One word of serious caution is to avoid what people think are cute, sarcastic answers. They work in reverse of what we just talked about. I can’t count the times when after I tell someone I am living the dream they respond, “Are you sure it is not a nightmare?” I hear people say things such as they are barely surviving and trying to get by. Why you would be feeding your mind this kind of thought over and over is beyond me. It not only brings down your frequency, but does so to anyone else in earshot, including the person inquiring about your well-being. Use the opportunity to make your life a more positive and enjoyable place to be and to make that voice between your own two ears a more positive one!
Today is the day of the week when we have something to uplift each other. We are going to switch it up slightly. I am going to share the main thing that uplifts me on the site. That thing is engaging with all of you. Seeing the over 200 countries that have viewed this site, and hearing how and what people think has really filled my heart with gratitude. I always do my best to respond to each comment anyone leaves. In a busy world it takes time and energy to sit down and share your thoughts. That fact that these posts are not only read, but someone cared enough to share their thoughts is the greatest gift.
A special ‘Thank you’ to all of you who take the time out of your busy lives to read what we share here. It is my sincerest hope that I am of service to you in some way. Special gratitude for those of you who engage with us. I enjoy meeting as many virtual friends as I can. Whether you are down the block or across the globe, I consider you a friend and a fellow adventurer on the path to an amazing life. I wish all of our readers a healthy and happy holiday season and a peaceful and prosperous New Year.
When I grabbed this quote, I liked many things about it. It is very close to what we discussed a few posts ago how your mind and body do not have to be in the same place at the same time. Before we get into the actual quote, I have to share something about it. What made me laugh after further inspection was where this quote came from. When I was a senior in high school, I did not do well at English class. As mentioned in my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People, my teacher even told me, “I pray to God you will never have a career in writing.” At the time it was a fair assessment. Three books and over twenty five hundred blog posts later, maybe not so much. One of the reasons the teacher thought this way is my lack of appreciation of classic literature. When I read something, I like to be able to enjoy it and not search for what it is supposed to mean. Give me the story straight I say. The story that stands out the most in this regard? You guessed it, Paradise Lost. The very story today’s quote comes from.
Now that we have had some humorous back story, let us look at the quote itself. The very first part I find intriguing. “The mind is its own place…” How many of us stop and think of the mind that way? Many things only exist in the mind. Fear is a great example. It is created by, and exists solely in the mind. Many of the stresses in our lives reside between our own two ears. The mind has its own dialogue. As Mr. Milton goes on to explain, “…and in itself, can make a heaven of hell, a hell of heaven.” What this means to me is that the mind we bring to a situation goes a long way to determine the quality of the situation.
This is the reason that you can see two people in exactly the same situation, but one is happy and one is miserable. One place I see this a lot is at the gym. Some people working out there look miserable. Some are lifting weights with smiles on their faces. If you stopped and focused on everything you have to do to get to the gym and get a workout, coupled with how sore you might feel after, it would be a pretty miserable experience. You also wouldn’t show up that often, or for that long. If you were to change that focus and realize that every rep of weights and every step of cardio are getting you that much closer to being the healthy person you are working to become, you would be motivated to keep pushing on.
This holds true in any situation in life. At a funeral for example. We can think about the regret of moments lost or never pursued. It will expand the pain and make the feelings of hurt and loss that much greater. We could also focus on the fond memories we have with the dearly departed and ponder ways in which we will honor their memory. This may very well help ease the pain and may even see a smile cross our face as we think about a silly or happy memory.
Switching focus is a great way to control what kind of place the mind is, a heaven or a hell. When I find myself in particularly trying situations, I ask how I can use that to serve others. This obviously does not change my circumstances, but it certainly changes the person I bring to them. Finding ways to bring happiness and gratitude to any situation can turn a hell into a heaven. I would love to hear your secrets for making your mind a positive place to be.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 