Tag: Self-Help

WHERE IS YOUR HAPPY PLACE?

This statement could not be more accurate when it comes to me and my life. Sadly, I live where this is not a common occurrence. What that pushes me to do is develop other happy places. Why is this important, not only for this author but for you as well? Happy places are not only a perk to have in life, I feel they are a necessity! In a world where negativity and stress can quickly cause us to live in a state of overwhelm, having a place we can escape to is vital! My favorite happy place is a quite beach in a lovely tropical location. Two years ago Margie and I experienced this in the Bahamas. We met lovely people, had amazing food and enjoyed each other. Financially, doing this more often could pose a little bit of a challange.

 

What to do when your happy place is both thousands of miles, and thousands of dollars, away? Simple, develop more happy places. Who says you can only have one? Yes, I really look forward to Margie and my next trip to paradise, but in the meantime, there are lots of other places that make me happy. Going for coffee with my mother is always a lot of fun. Especially after a nice walk in nature. Conversation with my friend Nick is always insightful. Creating new content with my friend Jason is amazing. Going to the gym after a good night’s sleep and relieving stress is amazing as well.

As you can see, there are certain coffee shops, parks and other places that are happy places. One of the fun things to do in life is creating this list. By creating, I mean write the places down. It is easy to forget, especially in times of stress. Have you ever been going out to eat and can’t think of all the places you have been eager to try? Yeah, kind of like that. Plus, having a list of places that make you happy can be a fun reference. Looking at your list and saying to yourself, “I haven’t been there in a while.” can be fun. Not to mention, planning visits to these places, or with these people, can give you something to look forward to. This will make getting through the day that much easier.

How about you? What are your happy places? Do you have several? Some that are close and easily accessible? Have you written a list down of them? Here is something to remember when creating your list of happy places. They don’t have to be ‘places’ at all. Sometimes a happy place can be in the arms of the person you love. It can be time spent with a certain friend that always lifts your spirits. Then, it is not the physical place that matters so much as the company. Create your list of happy places now, and start visiting them often.

HOW TO GET AHEAD

Stop and think about this quote. Another way to put it, if you do not know where you are going, you will never get there. Purpose makes life so much easier. The crazy thing is that most of us are doing busy ‘doing things’ to spend some time to figure out our purpose. The irony is that without knowing our purpose, our actions are not as powerful. When we know where we are trying to go, we can tell if our actions are getting us closer or further away. Without knowing where we are going, we can constantly be second-guessing ourselves as to whether our actions are the correct ones.

One way that you can do this is by thinking about your eulogy. How can thinking about what people are saying at your death help you live your life? You can read more about this in my second book, Living the Dream. We will cover it here in brief. When you think of what you want to be remembered for, you know the type of life you have to live to do so. Think about what you want people to say about you. That you worked hard? Are you calling in every other day because you partied too much? That will not get the job done. How about a good husband/wife? Are you listening to, and putting your partner first? Or are your actions more self-centered?

Here is another crazy thing about all of this. How much time do you have to write your eulogy? When will it be given? The only correct answer to that is that we do not know. It could be next year, or even next week. My hope for you is that it will not be for a very long time, but the fact is we do not know. The time to get clarity and start to live the life you want to be remembered for is now! How about you? Do you have clarity? Do you know what your ‘why’ is? What you want said about you after you are gone? Spending some time answering these questions will be more valuable than digging in a vein of pure gold!

EXCELLENCE IS A HABIT 💪

There are far too many people that fail to see the power in this quote. It is a fool who thinks that they can be excellent when it matters. When stressed, we do not revert to our goals, we revert to our habits. This does not have to be a bad thing. What it means is that it is very important to establish successful habits. Act in excellence in everything we do. If you are cleaning the house, do not clean around things, but pick them up and clean underneath them. What you do when nobody is watching will have a huge impact on what you do when everyone is watching.

In my discussions with my new podcast partner, we discussed what I believe can be a very powerful habit that will not only set you up for success in all of your relationships, but will even improve them as you practice. The habit is both simple and fun. It will make all of your relationships closer and the bonds stronger. While doing so, it will also give you a boost of good feelings. This is the simple and powerful habit. Once a week, sit down and write out a greeting card. Yes, the old fashioned things that people used to send. You do not have to spend a lot. You can even order a pack online in a design that pleases you. Once a week, sit down and write what you genuinely appreciate about one person in your life. Then send it to them. Imagine how they will feel when they are expecting bills or ads and here comes a heartfelt card from you! The fact that nobody sends cards out anymore is part of what makes it special.

Not into the whole greeting card thing? Maybe you do not know the addresses of many of your friends? Another opportunity exists on social media! Can you imagine a post that is nothing other than a genuine list of why you appreciate the friendship you share with someone? It will not only inspire and make the person it is addressed to feel good, but everyone who happens to read it as well! Often, online worlds have a shortage of positive material. Adding this one thing can change the day for many people.

Getting in this habit of appreciation will program your mind to look for the good in people. I cannot tell you how amazing that will be for your life. You will not only feel better about the world, so will everyone you share it with. Imagine doing this to 52 different people in a year! (Once a week, 52 weeks in a year) If you do not know 52 people, you can even repeat yourself. What kind of impact do you think this will have on your relationships? Think of how you can apply a habit like this in other areas of your life to help them grow. Soon, you will be developing excellence in all areas of your life.

YOU ARE THE FAVORITE! 😊

You never know how much you are loved. Rarely do people convey how much you mean to them. Let us be the change makers in that. Tell people how much they mean to you and why. Then, watch them light up and your relationship with them grow closer. It is these actions that will allow us to change the world in a positive way!

GET YOUR FILL OF ALL 4!😊

Here is a list of the 4 feel good chemicals in the brain and how to get your fix of all of them. Each chemical has a list of 5 actions we can take to get those feel good vibes going. Do you think you could take one of the actions from each category to help yourself? Might not be a bad idea to print this out and have a check list of sorts.

Here is another great way to improve your life and increase the feel good vibes. Pick someone close to you and incorporate one action from each category for them! You will not only only increase their happiness, you will strengthen the bond between you and increase the joy in your friendship.

These lists are far from complete. Think of what actions you could add to each category. Increase the good feelings and vibes as often as you can!

WHAT STANDS BETWEEN YOU AND YOUR GOALS 💪

Have you ever thought about what stands between you and your goals? When I ask people this question at seminars, a lot of different answers come up. Money, time, network are just a few. What many people either fail to realize, or fail to admit, is that it is not lack of resources that is stopping them. It is lack of resourcefulness.

If we were to look back at the evolution of even the largest companies, we would no doubt see humble beginnings. They worked with what they had until they learned our acquired more. My own success has mirrored this path. Starting this blog came with a great deal of ignorance to begin with. I knew nothing of how the blog world worked. Today  we have been viewed in over 200 countries. Writing my first book? Same story. It seems with every book I publish, I learn something new.

How about you? Are your excuses standing between you and your goals? With a little more effort, could you overcome a seeming lack of resources? Denying this is only serving to hold you back.

CHOOSE THE RIGHT OPTION

Many people are confused when I tell them I listen to motivational content almost daily. Sometimes on my morning commute. Sometimes at the gym or on a walk. Why would someone who has spent the last 20+ years providing such content listen and learn about it? Firstly, because I am a lifelong learner. There is always something new around each  corner. Only fools think they know everything.

Another reason is hinted at the quote above. So many of us check social media first thing in the morning. A lot of us listen to the news on the way to work. This can be poisoning our minds before the day even begins. Could you surround yourself with negativity and still have a positive life? I suppose you could, but it would be a lot less likely and a lot more difficult.

Putting good stuff into a body, brain and spirit will increase the likelihood that good stuff will come out! Want an even more compelling reason to surround yourself with positive things? It makes having a great life that much easier! Having a daily motivational calendar makes it far more likely you will come across something to inspire you than hoping your coworkers will quote Marcus Aurelius.

How do you get good stuff in? What actions do you take to surround yourself with positive influences? Subscribing to this blog is one way to introduce positivity into your life daily. What are some other actions you could take?

HEY YOU!

Falling in love with life will be the theme of my upcoming fourth book. Do you remember how it feels when you first fall in love with a person? You feel like you are floating on a cloud. Nothing can bother you. Imagine feeling the same way about life!

There are secrets to get this feeling back. It is much like love in a relationship. After a while, we begin to take things for granted. We begin to see the cracks and faults. Sometimes to the detriment of all the good and the magic. That is why children have a much more magical view of life than adults. Life is new. Everything is a miracle. My next book will help you capture that again as an adult.

In the meantime, I would love to hear things and situations that help you fall in love with life. Even if just for a moment.

DO NOT AVOID THINKING OF IT

A few posts back, we touched on the benefit of writing our own eulogy and how it can help us gain both clarity and direction for our life. The majority of people who listen to this concept whether through my book or in a seminar, can see how powerful it can be. By pondering how we want to be remembered and what we would like people to say about us and our life after we are gone, we can clearly see if we are taking the right actions. If not, we certainly know how to fix them. Having clarity and direction to our life can reduce a great amount of stress and a foster a greater sense of fulfillment.

When discussing this there are still a few people, some I know very well, find this concept morbid. I am not sure why exactly. Death is something that happens to 100% of us. It is one of the very few things that every human on the planet has in common. It should be something that unites us. The quotes above are Latin. They loosely translate as “Remember you must die” “Remember to live” and of course, “Seize the day.” These together provide a good map to life. Remembering we must die is what gives life its value. If we lived forever, it would little matter what we did. That fact that our time here is finite makes it priceless.

“I do not want to think about dying!” some people cry to me. As if not thinking about it will somehow delay its arrival. It will not. The only thing that not thinking about your death will do is leave you unprepared for its arrival. I do not know about you, but that would lead to a lot of stress as the end is drawing near. One tricky bit, as the first quote tells us, we do not know when that day will be! The older we get, the more likely it is to arrive. It is vital to know that old age is not a prerequisite to death. I died when I was 47. Lucky for me and my family, it was a temporary condition.

In the days leading up to that operation and temporary flirting with the other side, it became abundantly clear what was important to me. I no longer fear death. My fear is not accomplishing what I set out to do. Love my lady. Leave the world a better place than I found it. Inspire, encourage and empower all of those I come in contact with. Ignoring the fact that my death is drawing ever closer would rob me of a great source of urgency that I use to get a lot of things done in my life. Knowing that any hour could be our last to impact the lives of those we love, not to mention the world at large, should push us to be the best version of ourselves that we can be.

LIFE IS STRANGE 🤪

Think of this quote for just a moment. When a baby is born, it has no material things to call its own. When we are about to pass away, any material objects we may own stay here. Wealth may help you get better health care on the way out, which is a sad commentary about our society, but you will leave with nothing. It reminds me of a great quote from Denzel Washington I will share with you in just a bit.

Knowledge of these two facts is not anything that eludes us. We may not dwell on them, but we are certainly aware of the truth of them. Ancient Egyptian pharaohs tried taking it with them, but many years later we open their tombs to find it all still there. Still, in today’s more advanced society, we spend our entire lives in pursuit of material things. To some extent there is more of an accent on things like peace and happiness, but they are treated as more of a commodity than a way of being.

There is the quote I promised earlier. “You will never see a U-Haul behind a hearse. If that isn’t true. Why do we not spend more time and effort on things that will feed both our soul and our legacy? The answer is usually that we are fixed on the idea of comfort, or preoccupied with how we appear to others. It starts when we are young. You have to have the ‘cool’ brand of shoes or clothing. This is true even if another brand is more comfortable and more economical. A good many of us never outgrow this way of thinking. This highlights one of the hypocrisies of living this way. We spend our money, focus and energy on things to make our life more comfortable. Often, these things are not the best option for our life.

Here is one thought to ponder. There is nothing more soothing and comfortable than inner peace. Despite what advertisers may tell you, that is not something you can purchase. There is a song lyric I like that says, “An honest man’s pillow is his peace of mind.” Knowing that I have given my best and tried to focus on what really matters allows me to sleep at night. Not concerning myself with material status or image for others allows me to focus on more important things. How do I make my lady feel loved? How can I add more joy and positivity to the world? Am I taking actions that will leave the world a better place than I found it? These are the important things to be working on.

One great exercise to help you gain clarity on these matters is discussed at length in my second book, Living the Dream. That is the act of writing your own eulogy. To some this may sound morbid, but it will help you gain both clarity and direction for your own life. Pondering what you want people to say at your funeral, and how you want to be remembered, will show you what actions you should be taking now. It will also become abundantly clear if you are currently taking the proper actions, or if there is something you need to work on. How about you? What are you working on?