Tag: Self-Help

FIND YOUR TRIBE

We discuss in great detail many of the tools and strategies you can use to improve yourself. Things such as gratitude and discipline. One of the most important things you can do to assist you in this matter is to surround yourself with like-minded people. This should be done both digitally and physically. Your tribe will support you when you feel you cannot go on. They will encourage you, hold you accountable and provide opportunities you may not have thought of. That is why it is so important to choose the right people to be a part of your tribe.

How can you go about finding the right people to join your tribe? Consider the qualities we discussed moments ago. Do you know someone who is good at encouraging you? How about someone who will hold you accountable and make you live up to your standards? Someone who shares the same goals as you? There is a good chance that you know people like this already and have a few in your life. That is good. Make sure to spend a good amount of quality time in their presence. Then, work on adding more people who fit the traits we just mentioned. Try to get a mix of them all.

How does one gather people of like-mindedness? One of the ways is to join groups and forums that reflect either something you are interested in, or a goal you are chasing. I have been to a few writers groups and belong to many author pages on social media. You can bounce ideas off of each other and get valuable advice, encouragement and accountability. Once again, do this both online and in real life. You need a mix of both.

If you want to improve your tribe even quicker, ponder those who no longer fit with where you are going in life. Try to limit, or eliminate spending time with them. Yes, you may want to help them, but be careful it is not at the cost of your own life. Being around others who are negative, encouraging you to bow to instant gratification and not try to better yourself can be poison for living a healthy and fulfilling life. The best way to move on from these folks is to spend more time with those who inspire, encourage and improve your life. Then, by default, you will have less time to spend with those who don’t.

One thought to keep in mind. When you are searching for others to join your tribe, do not forget to be a good tribe member yourself. Give as much as you get. Brainstorm and share your ideas with others. They will thank you by doing the same.

THE BEAUTIFUL LIFE COSTS NOTHING

How many self-improvement books do you imagine there are in the world? I have written 3 by myself. A quick Google search says that over 11,000 self-improvement books are published each year. Let us narrow it down a little. How many books do you think there are about happiness? Once again asking good old Dr. Google, they estimate thousands. I think that would be a very conservative estimate.

The point of all of these questions is that there is a ton of information out there on both improving your life and the level of happiness in it. It can feel impossible knowing where to start. (My suggestion would be the great book, A Happy Life for Busy People) The ironic thing is that we are making this far more complicated than it need be. Yes, there are amazing tools and strategies we can use. Many of which are both on this website and in my 3 books. You do not have to google sites like secret2anamazinglife.com or even wonderful authors like Neil Panosian to discover a beautiful life. Your life can improve dramatically using the 11 items listed above.

None of these items cost a thing. They can all be done whether you live in a studio apartment or a mansion. Each one of us has a surprising amount of tools at our disposal to improve our life. How about getting and giving a hug? Both parties end up better for it and it costs nothing. Things like gratitude, meditation and watching a sunset or sunrise. I think we could all agree that these would make our live a bit more amazing. If you were to do all 11 items on the list above every week, your life would improve by leaps and bounds. What is stopping you? Time? Most of these take no time at all. How long does it take you to feel grateful? How about to do a little deep breathing? There is nothing standing in our way from taking these simple, no-cost actions to improve our life.

Print off the list or save the picture on your phone. Try to work all 11 in through the course of a week. See how much more joy you find. Can you imagine doing all 11 in a single day? Why not? it would take you all of 5 to 10 minutes and serve you a lot better than scrolling mindlessly on your phone. It would still even leave you plenty of time to do that as well should you choose. A beautiful life does not need to cost a lot or be very complicated. It only need a few simple items like those above. What other items can you think of that will not cost a thing and bring you a more beautiful life? Let us know.

GET THAT TRASH OUT OF HERE!

How do you start your morning? Do you roll over and check your phone? Do you turn on the news while you get ready? Maybe listen to some talk radio on the way to work? Do you spend time reading something motivational to start the day? Do you spend 5 minutes in quiet reflection or are you running around like crazy?

The next question may sound a little weird, but who do you invite over to your house? Is it just friends and relatives? Do you see strangers of the street and invite them in? When people do come over, how do you expect them to act? Polite and helpful or do as they please? Let me ask you a further question. Whether that person was friend or stranger, if they started throwing trash all over your house, how long before you would ask them to leave? Would it be 5 minutes? Would you wait an entire hour or maybe even a day? Most of us would be alarmed the moment they started it doing it and ask them why. More than likely in a way that cannot be printed here.

When we wake up in the morning and expose ourselves to social media, the television or any other medium, it is the same as inviting strangers into our house. We often do not know what these people will say or do. Will it make us happy, sad or angery? Who knows. Quite often it can be a bunch of negative material. In that case, it is the same as someone coming into our house and littering. We would not allow it in the physical sense. There is no reason we should allow mental littering in our mental house either.

Last post we discussed guarding the gate of our mind. This includes evicting negative tenants. This who little our mind with negativity and gossip. Those who belittle us and others. It is the same as dumping trash in our house. Our minds become cluttered with negative influences and make it hard to enjoy a truly positive life. Next post we are going to look at some powerful ways to live a beautiful life. The great part is that all of them are 100% free! See you next post!

IMPORTANT PASSWORD INFORMATION!

The other morning I was listening to a video by Tony Robbins and I would like to share with you a little of what I got out of that video. In it he referenced Jim Rohn, his mentor. That is where the idea comes from.

The idea revolves around passwords. It seems today we have a password for everything. We have a password for our cellphones. We certainly do not want just anyone being able to get into there! We have passwords for our computer. Even things like online shopping and social media have passwords. Even logging on to the platform I write this blog on has a password. Just in case any of you would want to come on here and write an inspiring post for me. Actually, if you would like to be a guest author, we can work on that.

The one thing that we need to guard does not come with a password. That is our minds. You must stand guard at the gate of your mind. We are almost force-fed information from a variety of sources. We hear the news, family, friends and coworkers just to name a few. Many are like chicken little telling us the sky is falling and how terrible the world is. Some give us gossip about other people that may only be true to some degree or maybe not true at all. We often let this all inside our mind without deciding if it belongs there. We must safeguard our minds my friends. The place between your ears is the most powerful spot in our lives. It deserves just as much guarding as our cell phone or computer. WE decide what goes into our minds. Let us make sure not everyone has the password.

WHEN THINGS ARE TOUGH AND YOU CAN’T SEE THE LIGHT

We have spent countless posts and words on this site talking about the benefits of developing an attitude of gratitude. One of the main benefits is to help you see the light in the darkest of times. That it why it is important to develop that attitude when things are going your way. It makes it a lot easier to develop gratitude as a lifestyle when you start using it when things are going good for you. What happens when you have not sufficiently developed your attitude of gratitude, or when you are facing a situation that feels so dark to you that it is impossible to find the light? It is then that this quote above will serve us well.

In the worst cases. That is the toughest times we face. It can be hard to think of what to be grateful for. Given some time and hindsight, it will usually occur to us. What about those first few moments? The day we lost that job? The weeks after we suffer the breakup of that relationship we thought would last forever? Even losing someone we love, what then? Our world seems so dark it can seem as if the light as abandoned us. It can be stark reminder to take a hard look at things we may not have fully appreciated. Everyone complains about going to work, but being unemployed is far more difficult. A breakup is difficult, but did you spend the time you were together loving to the fullest and appreciating the love you received? When we lose a loved one, can we double our efforts to love those that we still have in our life? How about honoring and keeping the memories in our heart of the person we lost?

There are times when life is so dark it is impossible to see the good in anything. It happens to all of us. When that does happen, it can be a great time to reflect on much of the good that we take for granted. You lost your job? Do you have people in your life that love you? Do you have skills that will allow you to get another job? Your partner leave you? Is this a chance to better yourself and learn from your mistakes so that your next relationship will be even more rewarding? It can be hardest to lose someone we really care about. Even then, we can think of our own health. We can realize what a great gift it was to have to opportunity to love someone. Being able to share connection with someone is a gift that should not be overlooked. It is sad when that gift ends, but in reflection, it was great to have. Not everyone does have such a thing.

When you face the darkest periods of your life, be grateful it was not always that way and it will not always be that way no matter how dark it looks. Do your best to notice things unrelated to the area of your life that is hurting. Do you have your health? Do you have friends? You have the ability to read a site like this and be a part of a community dedicated to seeing the beauty in themselves, others and the world around them. You can, and you will, outlast the darkness!

REFLECT… EVEN IN THE PRESENT

As most of you know, I just returned from a well-deserved vacation in Jamaica. It was a wonderful week at the Princess Senses the Mangrove resort in the city of Green Island. We met a lot of wonderful people. Some of which we mentioned in the last post, some we will mention as we make our way through this week. We enjoyed a lot of good food and engaged in some fun activities.

Several times throughout the week, I sat down to record my thoughts and what we did in a travel journal that I bring with me. Some of you might ask why I would spend time in a beautiful tropical environment journaling. It is a fair question. The answer will not only help you enjoy vacation, but quite possibly life more. Have you ever had a week of fun that goes by in a whirlwind? You find yourself back at work and before long you can barely remember what a palm tree looks like. That is why it is important to record these memories. “I take pictures on my phone.” you might be tempted to say. That is true, but how many times do you look back at pictures and ask yourself, “What is this a picture of again?” I know there have been far too many times that has happened in my life! That is why you should try to capture as many memories as you can.

Journaling does another thing that snapping a picture does not. It forces you to be present. Pushing a button on a camera or a cell phone is a fairly mindless activity. Journaling not only helps you reflect, but knowing you are going to do so helps you remain present. If you know you are going to record what is happening around you later, you tend to pay a lot more attention to what is happening. What was that person’s name? How did the food smell? What color was that car I liked so much? You can get the idea. If this works so well to preserve vacation memories, imagine what it could do in your life?

THE WEEK AHEAD

The quote here applies to all genders. As we are in the middle of another work week, keep this in mind. Plenty of people and circumstances will test your patience and resolve. True strength is being able to remain calm in the middle of chaos.

Why is remaining calm so important? When we react with emotions, we seldom make good decisions both in our words and actions. This tends to make our situation even worse. When we act from a calm state of mind, we speak and act with a better state of mind. This may help us out of chaos. At the very least, it will not take us further in it.

Remaining calm in the middle of chaos is not easy, but it is worth it.

TRUE MASTERY

If we want a truly successful life we must focus on one thing. That is mastering ourselves. If we can manage to control our own emotions, actions and thoughts, there is nothing we cannot do. Can you imagine being able to control our own inner conversation to one of an encouraging and empowering one? Can you imagine taking control of your thoughts and being able to focus on opportunities instead of obstacles? How about controlling your actions and only taking those that live up to your standard and align with your goals? How would just these three things change your life?

So many of us look to control the outside circumstances in our life. We try desperately to control many things that are beyond our control. Instead of focusing on controlling circumstances in our life, how much better off would we be focusing our efforts on controlling our resilience to them? That we have complete control over. It will take effort and consistency, but we do have control over our reactions whether we wish to admit that or not,

This week focus on improving yourself. How can you take better control over you thoughts, emotions and actions? How will doing this improve your life? By focusing on these two questions we will get further than worrying about outside circumstances over which we have very little control.

FORGET THE BILLS FOR A MINUTE!

Let us be clear from the start. This is not a recommendation to be completely fiscally irresponsible. What it is advocating is making sure to budget some money on creating joy in your life. If we wait to have fun until all of the bills are completely paid and everything is settled in our life, we might be waiting forever.

In addition to waiting forever, think about how life will feel. It will feel as though joy is constantly being delayed for responsibility. Chasing instant gratification with no thought for responsibility is a recipe for disaster. So is denying ourself any joy. It can lead to feelings of frustration and resentment. Not to mention life rather sucks while we are going through it. Who wants that? As you read this, I will be on my way home from a week-long escape to the tropics. Was it expensive? Yes. Is it worth it? Absolutely. My lady and I work so hard, we need and deserve time to reconnect. Do I still owe money on my car and need to save more for our wedding? Yes, but by taking this time away it will keep me refreshed and able to push on towards those two goals. Plus, it will keep the love strong between Margie and I so the wedding will still happen!

In your own life, be responsible with your money. This will include setting some aside for fun while you look to take care of all of the bills you have. Memories are a bill of sorts. What is a life worth that has no joyous memories to look back on? One that was solely focused on getting ahead and material acquisition? Not much at all. A life filled with lots of love, joy and happiness with a few bills still left to pay is worth a great deal more!

3 ITEMS FOR MAXIMUM SUCCESS

These are 3 items that will change your life. Putting them to use in any area that you are working to improve will help immensely. We will break them down one by one and take a look at why it is important to learn and use each one in life. The picture alludes to a physical benefit, but it holds true in any area of your life. Let us take a look at some personal examples and how we can put it to work for us.

Discipline. This is one of the most powerful skills you can develop. Mike Tyson once famously said, “Discipline is doing what you hate to do, but doing it like you love it.” Perhaps ‘hate’ is a strong word, but working out after a long day or when you are still sore from your last workout can come close to something you hate to do. If we reserved action for when we felt like it or when we felt motivated to do so, how often would we act? Not nearly enough to make any useful progress towards our goal. When you learn to be disciplined, you are on your way to being able to accomplish any goal.

Routine. When you can develop a routine of action, it can make it easier to stick with your discipline. Personally, I go to the gym every Tuesday, Thursday and Saturday. My family knows this. My lady knows this. It keeps me from having to think too much. When we get stuck in our head with planning and other aspects of success, it can prevent us from taking action. Setting up a routine allows you to schedule success. This makes the likelihood of success that much greater. This is the same with meal prepping. Having a routine of scheduling healthy meals ahead of time takes a lot of the guess work out of progress.

Consistency. This last one can be the most difficult for many of us. Sticking with something and trusting the process even when you don’t see quick results. We expect years of unhealthy behavior to be erased in a month of diet and exercise. No, lifestyle change is what we need. Sticking with a behavior and celebrating small wins is the key to success. Going hard for a short period of time is not as good as steady consistent effort. Running 20 miles one day will not help our health as much as running one mile for 20 days straight. The same holds true for diet, self-care and anything else you are doing to improve your life. Be consistent and trust the process. Even when the results are not coming as fast as you would like. If you quit, you will never win. Do not give up!

Why is it so important to develop these three skills? In doing so, as the picture above states, we will become the asset! All of our material possessions, and positions of power, can be taken from us in the blink of an eye. The skills we develop in our mind, heart and spirit stick with us forever. If you develop these three skills and everything is taken from you, even unfairly, you have the foundation to build it back again. What is more important to focus on, things that can be taken from us, or skills we will keep forever? I think we all know the answer to that question.