There are many great things that we can get from having social media in our lives. This site is one of them. Having a resource to share and contribute what makes an amazing life can offer benefits to your life and the lives of others. Far too often, people confuse what they see on social media as the entire picture. You may hear about the amazing self-improvement book published by your favorite author. What you don’t hear is the endless suffering of questions endured by his beautiful cake-designing lady. Most people share their victories on social media and not the struggles they overcame to get there.
This is not only true online, but can be true at work, in the gym and any other place that humans regularly gather together. Let me ask you a question, who is a better singer, Michael Jackson or Prince? Who was a better baseball player, Babe Ruth or Jackie Robinson? Before you start lining up your facts and preparing your argument like Perry Mason, who might or might not have been a better television lawyer than Matlock, let me tell you the point of this post – it doesn’t matter.
I think we can all agree that in order to succeed greatly at any endeavor, it takes a great deal of risk. I can tell you this is certainly true of writing a book. What if the people don’t like what you wrote? What if they tell you it is no good? What if you spell your own name wrong on the cover? There are endless risks and doubts you must overcome to succeed. What allows us to overcome these challenges in life? It is one word – confidence. I find a lot of people struggling with this very subject. The chief reason for the struggle? In today’s world, more than ever, people are busy comparing themselves with others. We may have finally been able to trade in our beat up 1980’s sedan for a 2015 SUV. We are happy for a while until we see our neighbor Bill just bought a brand new sports car. We begin to think, “I wish I had a brand new sports car.” or “How come neighbor Bill has all the good luck?” “I wish I made more money than neighbor Bill.” Listen, he might be a nice guy, but in this case, forget neighbor Bill! Great for him he has a nice car, but you know what is better? Improving our own driving situation!
Here are two great secrets for improving our own self-confidence. First, mind our own damn business. That might sound harsh, but why should we concern ourselves with what neighbor Bill is doing, or worse yet, compare ourselves to him? We should be so busy working on improving our own lives that we would only learn about neighbor Bill when he comes up to us to tell us he just bought a brand new Bugatti. The second secret to developing our own self-confidence involves what we do when neighbor Bill tells us about his new ride. We should celebrate others successes as if they are our own. Why does this help our self-confidence? It is hard to start comparing yourself with someone when you are busy celebrating them. Also, jealousy and envy are a complete waste of time and energy. We would be better served spending that time and energy sending out feelings of gratitude and celebration for neighbor Bill.
Another upside of this is it makes you a lot nicer of a human being. The more cynical of you may be asking what does that get me? A lot! It certainly will get you a lot more friends. After all, would you rather be around someone who gets down every time you share some good fortune that happened to you or someone who celebrates with you? Would you want to surround yourself with people who are filled with jealousy and envy when it comes to your success or a person who celebrates your success as if it was their own? I think the choice is pretty clear. With more friends comes more opportunities and more…you guessed it confidence! Stop comparing yourself with others. It does not serve you. Instead, focus on the person you were yesterday! You are one of a kind. Comparing yourself with those of a different DNA, different social circles and just different person over all makes as much sense as comparing apples and oranges!