I have a few relatives that come to mind with this phrase. I have a grandma who talks…a lot. She is imperfect. I have an aunt that says the most inappropriate things at the most inappropriate times. Again, imperfect. Don’t we all know people like this? In some ways, unique to us, we are all people like this.
Yet in this imperfections, these people are at the same time perfect. My grandma, for example, will share so many amazing stories of her life. There are never any awkward silences in the conversation. My aunt and her inappropriate comments often break the ice at stressful times. Think funerals as an example. She makes others feel comfortable expressing themselves. Perfect!
Whatever perceived imperfections you may struggle with within yourself, know that they are perfect in their own way. Each of us bring something vital to the world that nobody else can. We are a blend of perfect imperfections.
I love this quote! People so worried about how we look in comparison to others, they forget how their uniqueness is what makes them beautiful. Think of the flowers. They all look different. Some are green, some red or some blue. Some people prefer one over another. It doesn’t reflect on the flower, just the feeling of the observer. Often the most beautiful bouquets are the ones made of a mix of different flowers.
Can you imagine if a daisy was sad because it didn’t look like a rose? It sounds silly, but that is exactly what we do when we compare ourselves to others. Just work on blooming and becoming the best version of ourselves. Shine in all of our unique goodness. That is what will make us amazing. Today remember that being authentically you makes you the most beautiful part of the bouquet!
You see it everywhere, people taking selfies. This past weekend, Margie and I saw a little grandma at the diner we were at trying to capture herself in the best light. It can be tricky taking a picture of yourself. Finding just the right light and just the right angle. You want to both highlight your positives and hide your negatives. Margie informs me she takes dozens to find one she likes enough to send to me. I have given up on that a long time ago. After I send my picture, a message about being stuck with me usually follows.
That is why, when I saw this quote, I had to share it with all of you. In a world where we are obsessed with our image, how many of us invest in what really counts? You can make the outside look as good as you want, but if the inside is unattractive, you will be too. On this site we certainly recommend taking care of your physical appearance. Liking what you see in the mirror will have you feeling more confident and willing to try new things. Just as, actually more, important is taking care of the inside. Have you ever met someone who might not fit your usual definition of attraction, but because of their energy and personality, you can’t help but want to be around them? Happened to me when I first met this lady with bright pink hair. Ten years later, I find her the most beautiful person in the world.
How about you? If you could take a selfie of your soul, would you want to post it online? Would it be attractive? Are you compassionate towards others? How is your temper? Do you often do random acts of kindness? How is your level of inner peace? Next time you are trying to capture that perfect likeness of yourself, take a moment to think about how the inside looks.
Have you ever had a day where you feel like this? Not quite like a murdering doll, but where if how you felt on the inside could be seen, you might resemble this lovely character? I know I have. With many responsibilities, even enjoyable ones, comes much stress. When I have to fit in the day job, the gym and writing in one day , that can be rather stressful. I barely have enough energy to show my lovely lady how important she is to me. That only adds further stress.
What do you do when you feel burned out? Another reason why working on self-improvement and self-care is so important to start, and start now. If you get to the point of feeling burned out, the last thing you are going to want to do is spend mental energy on how to rid yourself of those feelings. What I can suggest is to start a self-care book. This is an activity that will be featured in my upcoming fourth book. In your self-care book, you can list everything that brings you feelings of peace, health and happiness. In other words, everything that refreshes your spirit. This can be songs that inspire you. Movies that make you laugh or energize you. It can be places you like to go, whether that is a park, a coffee shop or some place to eat. This self-care book can be updated as you discover new items to add. For me, who struggles during the long cold winter, this can be a life-saver. Place this book somewhere it can easily be accessed.
When you are feeling burned out, sad, uninspired or any of the other unpleasant emotions, pull out your self-care book and engage in one, or several, of the activities. When you find something that really brings joy, or inner peace, to your heart, pull out the book and add it. Having this resource available takes the thinking out of helping yourself. Composing the book is actually a fun activity. You can even ask your friends, family and spouse for ideas. You can do it together as a couple or as a family.
Just a quick reminder on your Sunday, that you should make a point to be kind to the person in the mirror? How often do we give ourselves a compliment? When we do, does it feel awkward? If so, that is a sign that we need to do it more often!
Realizing that there are awesome things about us, and mentioning them to ourselves, does not make us arrogant. We seem to mention and discuss what is wrong with us and not working in our lives quite often. How does that make us feel?Try saying something good about yourself. Even though none of us are perfect, we all have some amazing things inside of us. Let’s appreciate a few today. 😃
There are many great things that we can get from having social media in our lives. This site is one of them. Having a resource to share and contribute what makes an amazing life can offer benefits to your life and the lives of others. Far too often, people confuse what they see on social media as the entire picture. You may hear about the amazing self-improvement book published by your favorite author. What you don’t hear is the endless suffering of questions endured by his beautiful cake-designing lady. Most people share their victories on social media and not the struggles they overcame to get there.
This is not only true online, but can be true at work, in the gym and any other place that humans regularly gather together. Let me ask you a question, who is a better singer, Michael Jackson or Prince? Who was a better baseball player, Babe Ruth or Jackie Robinson? Before you start lining up your facts and preparing your argument like Perry Mason, who might or might not have been a better television lawyer than Matlock, let me tell you the point of this post – it doesn’t matter.
I think we can all agree that in order to succeed greatly at any endeavor, it takes a great deal of risk. I can tell you this is certainly true of writing a book. What if the people don’t like what you wrote? What if they tell you it is no good? What if you spell your own name wrong on the cover? There are endless risks and doubts you must overcome to succeed. What allows us to overcome these challenges in life? It is one word – confidence. I find a lot of people struggling with this very subject. The chief reason for the struggle? In today’s world, more than ever, people are busy comparing themselves with others. We may have finally been able to trade in our beat up 1980’s sedan for a 2015 SUV. We are happy for a while until we see our neighbor Bill just bought a brand new sports car. We begin to think, “I wish I had a brand new sports car.” or “How come neighbor Bill has all the good luck?” “I wish I made more money than neighbor Bill.” Listen, he might be a nice guy, but in this case, forget neighbor Bill! Great for him he has a nice car, but you know what is better? Improving our own driving situation!
Here are two great secrets for improving our own self-confidence. First, mind our own damn business. That might sound harsh, but why should we concern ourselves with what neighbor Bill is doing, or worse yet, compare ourselves to him? We should be so busy working on improving our own lives that we would only learn about neighbor Bill when he comes up to us to tell us he just bought a brand new Bugatti. The second secret to developing our own self-confidence involves what we do when neighbor Bill tells us about his new ride. We should celebrate others successes as if they are our own. Why does this help our self-confidence? It is hard to start comparing yourself with someone when you are busy celebrating them. Also, jealousy and envy are a complete waste of time and energy. We would be better served spending that time and energy sending out feelings of gratitude and celebration for neighbor Bill.
Another upside of this is it makes you a lot nicer of a human being. The more cynical of you may be asking what does that get me? A lot! It certainly will get you a lot more friends. After all, would you rather be around someone who gets down every time you share some good fortune that happened to you or someone who celebrates with you? Would you want to surround yourself with people who are filled with jealousy and envy when it comes to your success or a person who celebrates your success as if it was their own? I think the choice is pretty clear. With more friends comes more opportunities and more…you guessed it confidence! Stop comparing yourself with others. It does not serve you. Instead, focus on the person you were yesterday! You are one of a kind. Comparing yourself with those of a different DNA, different social circles and just different person over all makes as much sense as comparing apples and oranges!
Welcome back to our celebration of 30 days of gratitude. Each day we will focus on one area of our life to be grateful for. If this is your first day doing this I invite you to go back and do the days before this. You can do them in your head, write them down and home, but it is my hope you decide to share what you are grateful for with our community here on Secret2anamazinglife.com. There are no rules. Do one day or do all 30. Let us now look at today’s area of gratitude.
I like today’s topic in our 30 days of gratitude for a reason other than fostering gratitude. It can also help to boost our self-confidence. Often we focus on our shortcomings. This can be done with the best of intentions. Mostly, we are doing it because we want to be better individuals and make the world a better place. Some of us may feel focusing on our abilities makes us feel selfish or self-centered. That is really not so, especially when you are focused on being thankful for them. Some we were born with, but most took some hard work and practice to develop. Even those we may have a natural talent with took some work to be proficient in.
When I first began pondering what abilities of mine I was grateful for, my writing naturally came to mind. I started to feel how grateful I am in my ability to put my thoughts into words and share them with all of you. Then I was grateful for my ability to absorb and retain what I learn. I never realized how much of a gift this is until Margie repeatedly pointed this out to me. I guess that would lead me to being grateful for my ability to talk to and pick out the best life partners. There is my ability to talk to complete strangers. Although sometimes a blessing and a curse all rolled into one. My ability to help people see the positive aspect of the world. My ability to help myself see the positive side of things. I am working on the ability to control my mind and emotions and proud of how far I have come with that.
How about you? What ability are you grateful for that you have? Are there abilities in others you are grateful for? I think once we start being honest with ourselves, we really have a lot of abilities to be grateful for. However you are recording your grateful list for these 30 days, whether in a journal, on a sheet of paper or in the comments here, I hope you take time to list what abilities you are grateful to have. Many skills we take for granted others would relish having.Â
As most of you know, this blog is all about discovering ways in which you can live an amazing life. If you were not aware of that, you could ascertain that from the name of said blog.
One of the simplest ways to begin living an amazing life, yet for a lot of us very difficult, is to celebrate ourselves. It is the middle of the week. Hump day as some us say. It is time to take a step back and tell the world what is great about you. If this makes you uncomfortable that is a sign you need to do it even more.
A great way to live an amazing life is to grow our strengths and give of ourselves to the world. In order to do that most effectively, we need to know what we are good at, or put more simply what we rock at. If you are not sure, feel free to ask around. This does not make you self-centered or egotistical. Quite the opposite really. By learning what you are good at you can discover how you can best bring joy to others. Not to mention let others know what they can come to you for.
To help you get a idea of some things you can use I will list a few of mine.Â
I am good at putting thoughts and feelings into words.
I am good at discovering ways to turn even the most negative situations to our advantage.
I am a good bartender.
I love to bring joy to those around me.
Hopefully you are getting the idea. Please list some of yours. Let us know why you rock! If anyone wants to add to each other’s lists go right ahead! Let’s all build each other up to finish the week strong! If anyone can think of something I missed on my own list feel free to mention that as well! I can’t wait to hear all the awesome things about each and every one of you!!
Here is something that does not serve us – being jealous of someone else. We touched on this a few posts ago when we explored comparing our private struggles with other’s public successes. If we were to be given their lives and their problems, quite often we would long to have our own back.
More to the point, jealousy is a nonproductive emotion. If I were to be jealous of Michael Jordan’s ability to play basketball, that would not change the fact that I am vertically challenged and not well-versed in the sport of basketball. If I were to constantly compare myself to him while working on my own skills I would leave disillusioned and disappointed. Staying focused on how I have improved my own skills and noting those improvements will keep me excited and pushing forward.
Here is another thing to consider, the best person you can be is the best version of you. If you try to be someone else, the best you can do is come in second. They are the original and you will be nothing better than the best copy. Doesn’t sound too impressive does it? I am an author and a coach. There are many authors and coaches I admire. Although I learn from and on occasion borrow from them, I do not want to be them. I want to be the best author and coach Neil can be. Not to mention if an inspiring author and coach were to send me a book I certainly would take the time to get back to them.
Be the best version of you that you can be. It will be the greatest gift you can give to the world and large and those you love. Most importantly, it will be the greatest gift you can give to yourself. Never spend your time and energy being jealous of other’s lives. Instead, spend that time and energy improving your own.
Welcome to Monday, a day most people dread. The work week is ahead of us and as many people fear, the opportunity to make mistakes. Personally, I don’t mind making mistakes. There are three wonderful, yes I said wonderful, things that come from mistakes.
First, like the picture said they are proof you are trying. There is no way to live a mistake free life. Sure, you could sit around and not do anything, but then you don’t live at all and in my mind that is the biggest mistake. We might misjudge, need to improve physically, mentally or emotionally. There are a million reasons why we might make mistakes. Maybe we just didn’t have all the information needed to make the correct decision or take the correct action. Not only is it proof we are trying, but it is an opportunity to learn. When we make mistakes we often think to ourselves such disempowering things as, “I can’t believe I did that!” or “I was so stupid for making that mistake!” What if you replaced those statements with ones such as, “Next time I know how I will do that!” or “I am so glad I learned how to do this. I will be better next time!” It is a totally different mindset. Mistakes are some of the best teachers. The third thing I think is wonderful about mistakes is that is provides us a unique opportunity to show our character. Owning up to mistakes and not letting them get you down shows that you have a strong character. You cannot display this unless you do make a mistake. Through showing what kind of character you have you can earn respect from others. Everyone loves and respects someone who owns up to their mistakes, don’t they? From now on let us put mistakes to work for us. It sucks when they happen, but we can turn them from a negative to a positive using the three examples above.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 