Tag: self-care

NEXT TIME YOU SHOWER..

Far be it from me to advise you what to do while you are in the shower. That seems a little invasive from someone you may have never met on the other side of the screen. This meditation might be another secret we could all add to help us reach that amazing life. Developing rituals that lead us in the direction we wish our life to go will be something discussed in depth in my next book. Until that is released, allow me to share this idea with you.

Showering is something we all hopefully do on a regular basis. Why not turn this experience into one that refreshes our soul and spirit? Picturing, and feeling, all of this happen can really give us a change in attitude. I often say when stuck around people who have a ‘sunshine challenged’ attitude that I need to take a shower. This is metaphorical, but I guess does not have to be. Showers are cleansing physically, why not mentally and spiritually as well?

Take the time you spend in the shower to mentally disconnect for a while. It is warm, you are by yourself, you can’t really hear much. If you have a shower speaker, maybe some meditative music would be nice. Picture all of the negativity of the day being washed off you and going down the drain. Feel your energy being renewed. It may be that little bit of peace you need in the middle of a chaotic day,

There are many other cleansing rituals that people do that can work as well. In Native culture there is smoke from smudge or sage that is used to cleanse spiritually. That are people who go to special mineral baths to bath in. Showers are nice because most of us use them on a regular basis. It might be fun to employ this same thinking next time you are caught in the rain as well. The waters could be washing all of the negative energy in your life away. By the time you arrive home, your clothes may be heavier, but your spirit will be lighter.

A GOOD MOOD CAN BE TOUGH

In today’s world, staying in a good mood can be a struggle. On top of all of our daily stress, we have plenty of sources in media, and social media, bringing us the world’s stress. Just keeping our head above water can be a challenge.

Fortunately for us, there are a few steps listed above that can help us reduce our stress and increase our joy. If you need more, check out my first book, A Happy Life for Busy People. Available on Amazon.

5 simple steps. Sunlight, exercise, good food, gratitude and sleep. If you can develop habits to work these 5 items into your life, your stress will reduce and life will be so much more enjoyable.

TAKE TIME WHEN YOU NEED

It seems there is so much talk in the ‘hustle culture’ of giving 120% every day. While I am a proponent of hard work, which you could see from a few posts ago, there needs to be balance. I can see some of you ready to disagree.

Here is why I think the ‘grind until you drop’ mentality is flawed. When we push ourselves to failure, there are lots of possibilities mistakes to occur. The closer you get to burn out, the more likely this becomes. When you show up on the verge of collapse, you are more likely to say or treat someone harshly. This can cause damage that takes time, or may never, be healed.

Another reason is becoming disenfranchised. You will lose the drive and desire to achieve you goal. You will start to view it as something that drains you instead of drives you. This will slow or kill your progress all together.

Lastly, is the amount of healing time. If you pause before you burn out it will take a lot less time to heal than if you push to collapse. It may be easier to understand this concept if we think physically. If you catch and treat an injury early, the damage can be less and the healing can be done quicker. The same is true mentally and emotionally.

This is not permission for you to be lazy. There is a big difference between healthy self-care and sloth. I’m just saying catch your mental health early, make it a priority and act accordingly.

CONVINCE YOURSELF! 😮

We are all worthy of a good life. Me, you, even the guy who cut you off in traffic. OK, we might not want to wish him a good life at the moment, but I’m sure he deserves one too.

When we convince ourselves that we are worthy of a good life we act differently. We  set boundaries and practice self-care. We take better care of our health and focus on the long-term goal instead of the short-term pleasure. We are also far more likely to treat others with respect and compassion.

How do we convince ourselves we are worthy of a good life? We earn it. How do we earn it? By keeping our word to others, and even more importantly, keeping our word to ourselves. When we say what we are going to do and then follow that up by doing what we say, we earn well-deserved pride. Self-discipline is the greatest source of self-love.

Convince yourself that you are worthy of a good life today! Keep your word. Stay disciplined. Treat others with compassion and kindness. That good life will be yours in no time at all!

WE MADE IT! WE SHOULD NOT HAVE WAITED ✋️

It is Friday! The day so many of us wait for. In some ways, seeing this makes me glad that I work 7 days a week. That may sound crazy to many of you but let me explain. When it comes to planning dates with my beautiful lady, or maybe just treating myself to a bit of self-care like a good cup of coffee and a book, I do not wait for the weekend, as I will be working. I carve little bits of time whenever and wherever I can find them. Quite often we go on a date on a Thursday evening. Maybe I will take Tuesday after work to stop by the local coffee shop and get lost in the current novel I am reading.

The point of all of this is that I do not wait for the weekend, 5 o’clock or any other designated time. Do not misunderstand me, when I go on vacation, I am on vacation. It is more important to find joy in the life you are living rather than working to escape it. When you wait for the weekend, you are essentially resigning yourself to the fact that 5 out of 7 days will be a burden and lacking joy. Can you imagine giving anyone else that advice?

How do we create a life that we do not need a vacation from? By doing the things we preach on this site. Practice gratitude. Be present. Understand that we do not get more life. Time is truly our most precious commodity. Once it is gone, it is gone forever. One day will be your last. Before that day, you will witness the last days of many of the people you love and care about. This is not to sound depressing, but to impress upon you the urgency of changing your perspective of life now. Coming home to Margie is a blessing I am grateful for everyday. One day, it will be the last time we come home to each other. Saturday I am having coffee with my good friend Nick. By listening to him, feeling and expressing the gratitude for the friendship we share will help me be present and fully appreciate the moment. I never know how many more coffees we will share.

How about you? Are you putting off your joy until you reach the destination or are you working on ways to enjoy the journey?

THIS ONE IS IMPORTANT!

I love this thought. With life as busy as it is, many of the simple joys get pushed on the back burner. It is not only time to rediscover them, but to make a point of adding them into our life. These can be simple, inexpensive things that make us smile. Let me give you an example.

Whenever I go to a coffee shop, I’m there for one of two purposes. I’m either there to write. This could be the very blog you are now reading, or working on my next book. The second purpose is to connect and enjoy the company of others. After 23 years of being a bartender, my favorite place to meet friends is a coffee shop.

What does this have to do with simple joys? Those things do give me joy. What i forgot is the simple pleasure of a cup of coffee and a good book. Just relaxing and reading. Deadlines always looming, it makes it hard not to feel guilty about this simple pleasure. It is these simple pleasures that refresh our soul and allow us to face the world. What is your simple pleasure?

INCLUDE THIS IN THE LIST 📃

Who among us does not have a to-do list? There are things like taking out the garbage, doing the dishes and laundry. In all the craziness, how many of us add ourself on the list of things to take care of. This made sound cliche, but if you do not take care of yourself you will not be able to take care of anything else.

Think of when you have a schedule full of events. Kids soccer practice, dinner with friends getting an oil change or whatever it is you have planned. Suddenly, you get the flu. All your plans come to a crashing halt. You would think the one common denominator in all of our to-do activities (you) would be something we would put at the top of the list. Most of us, however, keep self-care as an item we will do if we have ‘extra time’. How many of us have any of that?

Today, make sure you take care of yourself so you can take care of everything you need.

WATER YOURSELF 💧

Think of what it takes for a plant to grow. To be honest, I am not 100% sure on this one as plants struggle to grow in my company. What is true is that they need to be watered. Without watering a plant, it will no longer continue to grow. Then again, if you water it too much, it will also not grow. People are much the same way. It is often ironic how so many things in nature are alike.

What does watering yourself look like? That can take many forms. One of the ways is to make sure you get what you need to grow. The first thought to jump to mind is things like enough rest, proper nutrition and exercise. That is one part of watering yourself. That would be proper self-care. Much like how different plants needs different amounts of water, different people need different kinds and amounts of self-care to grow. What is certain is that we all need some.

Another type of ‘watering’ that we need is the two ‘i’s. That is information and inspiration. They will help both our mind and our spirit to grow. If you are not watering your mind and spirit, you may think you are just staying the same. Imagine what would happen to a healthy plant if you did not water it. It would slowly wilt and die. The same is true of our spirit and mind. We need to learn, we need to be inspired. This could be watching a video on YouTube. It could be listening to a podcast. (Feel free to checkout both my YouTube channel and podcast) When it comes to watering your spirit, that is important too. This could be attending services of your faith, or reading something inspirational. It could be as simple as a conversation with an inspiring friend or a walk in nature. Much like our minds, if your spirit is not watered, it slowly wilts and dies.

We all know what being uninspired and not growing feels like. Nothing seems to move the needle of excitement. Fatigue is our constant companion. The world seems dull and lifeless. That does not mean our life sucks, it just means we need to be watered. Much like a plant that is starting to wilt, when watered, can perk right up again. What we need is a does of watering for our minds and spirits.

Spend a few moments today thinking of ways in which you can water both your mind and spirit. How to help yourself grow. This could be learning about something that interests us. It could be going for that walk in nature. If we are feeling overwhelmed, we could be overwatering ourselves! That might mean focusing a little more on self-care. Spend a little more time in meditation or quiet reflection. Make sure to write down ways in which you can water yourself. When you need it most, it can be impossible to think of.

REMEMBER TO HAVE FUN 👍

Here is a reminder that in the midst of spring cleaning, working on getting that summer body back and wondering where our New Year resolutions went, that we should always have a little fun.

The quote in the picture above captures this perfectly. Feet dirty, hair messy and eyes sparkling. The first thing that came to mind was a charity race I did a few years with Margie’s daughter. It was 30 obstacles in about 5 miles. Raised money for children with cancer. At the end of it, we were covered in mud, scrapes and pride. Not only had we completed the challenge, we raised money for a great cause. Our eyes were sparkling.

The next thing I thought of was children. When we are young, every day is an adventure. We dive right into life. Our feet are usually dirty, our hair is usually messy, but our eyes are usually sparkling. I think we need more of that as adults. I would love to hear what you do to put the sparkle back into your eyes.

6 TYPES OF REST EVERYONE NEEDS 😴

I can see my mother, and many others who know me, rolling their eyes that I am writing this post. Truth is, I am not very good at getting rest. I average around 5 hours of sleep on any given night. About half of that on Sunday night. Like I have mentioned many times on this site, there is always opportunities to improve life and to learn. One of my main areas I could improve on is rest. As you can see, rest involves a lot more than sleep. Different aspects of our being require different kinds of rest. Looking at this list, I…well…kind of suck at all of them. Let us look at a few.

The type of rest that everyone knows is sleeping. Even though we all know about this, sleep deprivation is at an all-time high. As mentioned earlier, I am guilty as charged. It can seem like we have 36 hours of things to do in our 24 hours. What has become painfully obvious to me is that you are far less productive when you are lacking sleep. Not to mention the health risks this can bring on. These include, but are not limited to, increase risk of heart disease, increase risk of diabetes, obesity and depression. Not much good stuff there. Just thinking of that has me feeling tired. Quick note. That is not me in the picture. When I am sleeping my hair looks like Albert Einstein and Don King had a love child.

This is also not me. Not only am I not flexible enough to sit that way, but I do not look good in orange. Mental rest can be just as important as physical rest. I love meditating. There are so many great guided meditations on YouTube and different platforms. All you have to do is pop on headphones and push play. One of my favorites is a company called ‘Brain Sync’. I would encourage you to check them out. The benefits of just a few minutes of meditation are well documented. Even if meditation is not your thing, try a nice quiet walk, It is kind of like a form of meditation, but that is beside the point. What the point is, your brain needs rest just like your body.

Skipping to the bottom of our list from above, is sensory rest. We are bombarded with electronic stimulation from the moment we wake up (the alarm) to the moment we go to bed. Whether that is the radio in the car, listening to headphones at the gym, watching television or surfing the internet, take a break. Your mind may have important things to tell you that cannot get to the surface because there is too much stimulation. Do your best to set aside time each day to just sit and think You will be amazed at what comes to mind. When I am working on a book, I get more accomplished doing this that forcing myself to write. It seems to get the creative juices flowing.

Do yourself a favor and get some rest. Not just sleep, but rest in all of the areas listed above. My struggle is to stop working and get into bed. I am going to work on that. What area of rest do you struggle with the most? I would love to hear your answers and any suggestions you have to help the rest of us get more rest.