Tag: secret2anamazinglife.com

HAMBURGER AND A HAND GUN…WHAT ARE WE DOING HERE?

Have you ever felt that the world is going to hell in a hand basket faster than you can believe? Have you ever looked around and the senseless violence in the world and feel completely helpless? What can one person ever begin to hope to do? I want to share a story with you that started me thinking about this. Do not get discouraged. Stick with me and we will look at the answer as to what we can do.

Above is a picture of a local hamburger chain. It is actually where I started my life of employment. Not this exact location, but same company. The food is not the best. The prices really are not either. What makes this place stand out is that it is open 24 hours. Many people visit after a night on the town to help them sober up or continue the party. The story we are about to share is neither of those.

A young lady had come in with her boyfriend one evening. They sat down and ordered some food. Apparently, the food was not coming as quickly as she had desired. This seems to happen a lot these days. Many places are short on help and the help they have is often not dedicated to the needs of the customer. This lady’s solution was to begin throwing things at the employees. I am not sure if this was packets of sugar or cups and silverware. Not the best move if you are hoping for quicker service. The employees began to throw things back at her. Again, not the best option even if the other party had started it. What did our friend do after that? She went to her car and got a gun. Yes, a gun. She came in and shot one of the employees. Fortunately, she was not well versed in the use of a hand gun and the magazine with the ammo fell out. Next she grabbed another employee, put the gun to their head and pulled the trigger…several times. Again, gratefully the bullets had fallen out of the gun.

When I read this story my mind was blown. This lady attempted to end the lives of two people, and pretty much threw away the rest of hers. Why? Because her greasy hamburger was running late. In what world does this make any sense? It was one meal. You eat three a day. You have almost 1,100 in a year. If one does not go to your liking you kill several people? It wasn’t even a good meal! Not that any meal is worth violence.

When we hear a story like this, we can ask many questions. “What is wrong with people?” “What is wrong with the world?” These are legitimate questions. It may also leave you feeling helpless. One person can’t fix the world. Can they? The answer is both yes and no. No person can wave a magic wand and make the world more kind and compassionate. Still, we have more power than we know. Yes, we can vote for change, but there is so much more we can do on a personal level.

One of the best ways to change the world is to change your little corner of it. What I mean by that is to lead by example. In this case, be kind and understanding when food is running late. Complaining will rarely, if ever, make it come quicker. My mother and I waited 30 minutes for a cup of coffee with our dinner the other day. Realize some things are beyond your control. Be a good example to those around you. Treat others with kindness and compassion. Also, do not get too fixed on the news. This story I read about online. There were many more just like it. Here is the thing you rarely read about – good things. They just don’t sell. Just because they don’t sell does not mean they do not happen. The more you read in the news, the more you will believe the sky is falling. Try reading something motivational every day. Create some balance.

Do not forget your power when it seems the world is falling to pieces. You can change the lives of everyone you come in contact with. Love, gratitude and appreciation can transform more lives than you could possibly imagine. Do not let the media convince you the world is as bad as they make it out to be. Look for examples of the good in humanity and the world. If you don’t find as many as you like, be one.

YOU DIDN’T KNOW 🤔

This continues the theme we were discussing yesterday. You should never be too hard on yourself if you are working to get better. This is easier said than done. Who doesn’t have those moments in their life that upon reflection fill them with feelings of guilt and regret over the way they acted or the choices they made? We all do. I certainly know I do. Those feelings serve a purpose. When you feel that pain, it makes you never want to act that way, treat people that way or whatever else it may be. That is not necessarily a bad thing. We can put that to use for us.

When it becomes detrimental is when that paralyzes us from taking action in the present. You must forgive yourself for past mistakes. Yes, it may have been hurtful. Yes, it could have hurt someone’s feelings. You definitely would take it back if you could. You can’t. You have learned. You have made many positive choices and decisions since then. You have learned. If you are punishing the present you for the actions of the past you, then you are convicting an innocent person.

As the year draws to a close, let us all work on being a little kinder to both each other and to ourselves. Creating and maintaining a positive self image will go a long way to helping us treat others with more kindness and compassion.

DO NOT WAIT TO BE PROUD 👏

It is almost the end of the year. Upon reflection, no doubt many of us are feeling a twinge of disappointment for resolutions we set at the beginning of the year that we failed to reach. You wanted to eat healthier but you are reading this blog while having a bowl of ice cream…after a large pizza. It is easy to do. Life can get pretty crazy over a 365 day span. Giving ourselves that little dose of pain and disappointment can be a healthy thing. It can spur us to action, even if that action comes at a significantly later time than we intended it to.

That brings us to today’s point. You can start a new beginning at any time. Not only can you, but you should be proud when you do. If you ate like complete garbage for the first 10 months of the year, give yourself a little feeling of guilt and disappointment. That is ok. It will help motivate you not to do so any longer. Following 10 months of supporting local fast food chains, if you have a healthy week of eating, give yourself some love for that. A week of healthy eating is still something to be proud of. It doesn’t matter if it comes in January or November. The more positive associations you attach to a healthy behavior, the more likely you are to maintain it.

You may not have accomplished the goal of being in better shape by the end of the year. You can still be proud of not having any soda this week. Perhaps you haven’t stuck to your gym 3 days a week plan. You can still be proud for taking walks after dinner. Build on the momentum. Your goal will get closer each and every day.

CLEAN YOUR FILTERS! 🧼

This may be hard to believe, but that is an actual picture of the cabin air filter that came out of my car. No wonder my allergies acted up whenever I turned the heat on. When it comes to my car, I am really good with upkeep, but this is a part that I never thought of. Thankfully, now I am breathing free and clean. It started me thinking, as so many things do, of the things we discuss on this site. This filter was supposed to keep out things that would be harmful. Instead, by not inspecting my filter, my car was being filled with all kinds of unhealthy things. It was literally causing me to be sick.

You might be able to guess where I am going with this. In our life we have many filters. One of mine is that I do my best to limit the influence of negative people and situations. Why surround myself with things that will lower my energy if I have a choice. I also try to limit my exposure to unhealthy diet options. Both of these filters need constant inspection. There could be some negative people who have positioned themselves in my life. This is often a ‘friend of a friend’. There are the unhealthy snacks bought as gifts from well-intentioned friends. If I do not examine my filters often these can slip through.

These negative influences can sneak through and end up making big impacts if we are not careful. Check your filters. Make sure there is nothing getting through in your life that may have a negative impact. While you are at it, you might want to check the cabin air filter on your car as well. Take my word for it.

NOW IS THE TIME TO TRY 💪

One of the greatest pieces of advice that took me years to understand came from one of my grandparents. I am not sure which, but it was a simple warning. “Life goes by quicker the older you get.” As a young man, I thought that was the stupidest thing I heard. After all, a year is a year, a day is a day and even an hour is always 60 minutes. Sitting here just shy of 50, a whole new appreciation for that line has taken place. There are so many things in my life that seem like they occurred in a different lifetime. Not to mention hearing songs that you thought were released ‘a few years ago’ on the oldies station.

When we are young, very few of us give serious thought to the future. Sure, we have plans and things we would like to do or accomplish. Seldom do we take actions to make sure those goals are achieved. One of the greatest blessings in my life has been my open-heart surgery and brief flirtation with death. It was as if the creator was reminding me, “Hey kid, it can be over without any warning.” Far too often it is. People we loved are gone often unexpectedly. “If I had only known.” we hear ourselves saying. If we confront a hard truth, don’t we all know? Raise your hand if you are completely unaware that someone can seem to be in amazing health and be gone the next day. It would be my guess very few of us have our hands up. We all know this fact.

It might not be the start of your life, but you are being told – there are only so many tomorrows. This is not fatalistic. It is true. The clock is ticking and it doesn’t run backwards. Every second in life is precious. It is time we start viewing them that way in the present and not just in reflection. Whatever you want to someone to know, tell them. Whatever dream you want to chase, chase that dream. The worst end we can experience is one filled with regret.

We may prefer not to dwell on the fact that the end is ever approaching, but I think some casual attention on the matter would serve us well. Could this be the last time you spend with your friend? Unlikely, but a possibility. Something as simple as fully appreciating the food at that restaurant you love in case they close unexpectedly. Life is full of ends and beginnings. Let us cherish each and every one of them.

ONLY 3 MONTHS LEFT! 😳

Time is ticking my friends! Whatever goals you have set for the year are still a possibility. What you need to do is get rid of the distractions. It is not just Betty who keeps on bringing over doughnuts, or Bob who keeps telling you that you can come over and watch the game and eat pizza instead of going to the gym. It is also your phone, your social media account, the television remote and Netflix. Whatever is keeping you from accomplishing your goals is the enemy.

For the rest of the year, focus on you! That way we can bring the best version of ourself to the rest of the world next year. We can improve every aspect of our life at once by improving ourself. How can you improve the version of you that shows up to work everyday? How can you improve the version of you that you bring to your relationship? Even a general improvement in yourself such as your physical fitness or overall health will positively impact every area of your life. Can you imagine how much more productive a healthy version of you would be at work? Would more energy and stamina brought to your relationship improve it? I think we all know the answer to that.

For the remainder of this year, focus on you and improving you. If this makes you feel guilty, remember it is actually one of the most selfless things you can do. Creating a better version of yourself will benefit all of those you come in contact with. What are some ways in which you will work on creating a better version of you in these last three months of the year?

YOUR ORIGINAL WEIGHT ⚖️

In a world full of Instagram models, social media filters and AI photos, far too many of us are chasing unrealistic and unhealthy goals. That model you are aspiring to look like may spend all day in the gym, have a professional chef and maybe even cosmetic surgery. The picture of a fitness guru may be airbrushed or altered in some way. What may be healthy for them, may not be healthy for us. Speaking of health, is that what you are chasing, or just an appearance? Have you given any thought to the inner beauty you have and how you can improve that?

One of the things that can drive us crazy is picking some arbitrary goal. “I would love to get down to my weight when I was ____.” someone will say. Forgetting that our bone density, hormonal profile, level of activity and many other factors have changed. Even picking one factor, such as weight, is a mistake. With the new smart scales, it can give you a much clearer picture of what your weight actually means. How much is fat? How much is water? How much is muscle? You may be healthier at a slightly higher weight depending on these factors.

Next time you are tempted to chase some arbitrary goal, think of this silly picture. You should not worry about going back to some version of you that you used to be, and focus on being the best and healthiest version of who you currently are.

USE THE MOST POWERFUL WEAPON IN THE WORLD 🌎

Do you know those people who cannot seemed to be stopped? You know the ones. Every obstacle seems to push them even more forward. If they do experience a setback, they dust themselves off and get right back at it. They seem full of energy, even after a long day. Instead of feeling envy for these wonderful folks, let us learn from them. What is it that they possess that would change our lives and give us a life like we described above?

We touched briefly on the importance of a ‘why’ last post, but let us dive a little deeper on the subject. Your ‘why’ is more than just the reason you are doing something. It is your emotional connection to the desired outcome. One of the easiest ways to get to a powerful ‘why’ is to keep asking that very question. You want to get healthy, why? Perhaps to look better in your clothing. Why is that important? It will give you a greater self-confidence. Why is that important? It will make you more likely to put your self out there. Why is that so important? It will help you take advantage of opportunities in the dating world, the career world or any other world that excites you. Why is that important? It could lead you to job satisfaction, a healthy relationship or success in whatever field you are in. Why is that important? It will give you a life of peace, purpose and love.

As you can see, developing a strong ‘why’ can set your soul on fire and give you a drive and purpose that lacking a why will never give you. Keep asking yourself why something is important to you. Write down your answers to help you keep track. Before long you will have a soul that will set the world on fire and nothing will be able to stop you.

SECRET TO STAYING DISCIPLINED 🤫

Discipline is one of the great keys to success. With enough discipline, you can accomplish any goal you are striving after. It takes discipline to get in shape. It takes discipline to fix your eating. Trust me when I tell you that it takes a great deal of discipline to write a book. Even doing these blogs everyday would not be possible without a degree of discipline. One of the trickiest things is how to stay disciplined. We all know the power of discipline, sticking to it is the difficult part. Being disciplined in our discipline.

The quote above provides a good tool to do just that. Think of someone who believes in you. It could be your parents, your spouse or a really good friend. Can you picture them professing their belief to others? How would we feel making them look like fools just because our lack of discipline? Many of us will do more for those we care about than for ourselves. Discipline is no different. If your goals and the fact that you can achieve anything with enough discipline doesn’t fire you up, maybe this will.

If you are finding it difficult to stay disciplined, first take a hard look at your ‘why’. Why is what you are doing so important to you? That may be the issue. If you remind yourself of your ‘why’ and it is strong enough, you should have no problem staying disciplined. If, however, you still find yourself unable to stay focused on the tasks you need to do, consider the fact you will be letting down those who believe in you. These people are usually the ones closest to us. Nobody wants insult or make a fool of those they care about. This alone may keep us disciplined.

LESSONS FROM A FUNERAL 🙏

This past Saturday, I attended a funeral for the mother of a gent I used to hang around with in the neighborhood many years ago. We had lost touch after his family had moved away when we were still young. It turns out that he manages a bakery not far from where I live. One that my mother likes to frequent quite often. As is the case in these situations, I wondered if this gentleman would even remember me. After our first introduction, I wasn’t clear if he recalled who I was. Understandable considering the stress of losing someone so close and how many years it had been. My purpose for being there was just to offer support and letting him know how many people care.

A few moments later, I was sitting having some of the snacks they had put out discussing things with my mother. She had known the family as well and went with me. As we were discussing the days gone by, my friend walked up to our table. “Do you know what I feel my children will never have that we had?” He inquired. I indicated that I did not know where he was going with this. “Having friends to just hang around with in the neighborhood.” He went on to mention another gent we often shared time with and things we did. It seemed to me that who I was might have dawned on him in the time since the introduction.

We went on to discuss how today’s kids spend a good deal more time online instead of in person. We undoubtedly sounded like two old men. The more I pondered the change in social interaction over the last few years, the more it astounds me. The sense of adventure that can be had taking your bicycle out with a few friends cannot be replicated online. Covid threw a further wrench into our ability to socially interact. This is not to say “Things were better back in my day.” We discussed how the internet and social media can keep us connected in ways that would have been impossible back in our day. He used the example of his wife discovering a ‘mom group’ that allowed her to connect with other mothers in the neighborhood. In this way technology can make face to face interaction easier. The trick is not to allow social media to replace face to face interactions all together.

I walked away thankful I could offer support to a friend in a very dark time. I was also grateful for the lessons and thoughts he shared with me. We must work to make sure that the generations to come still have a chance to explore with friends. As adults, we must make sure to blend in person social interaction with online interaction. We must also learn to treasure friendships that last throughout the years.