Tag: Relationships

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 29 – FRIENDS AND FAMILY

How can you pick just one friend or family member to be grateful for? It doesn’t say just one, so we will pick a few. Friends and family members add the color to our lives. Some friends become just like family. There are so many amazing people in my life. I am grateful for all of them and are going to work on expressing that better as the year goes on.

For the purpose of this blog, I am going to name a few. It is not a complete list by any stretch of the imagination. As we mentioned last post, I am grateful for my mother. We always have such fun times together. Whether we are going for a hike, working out at the gym or just going for coffee. It is always great conversation. I am grateful for my friends Dan, Jonathan and Nick. Speaking of great conversations, those gentleman always have great things to say. We solve the worlds problems over a cup of coffee! I am grateful for my soul friend Shannon. She not only imparts much amazing knowledge of the natural world, but is kind enough to even let me know when my favorite burger stand opens up! Grateful for all the friends of Margie and I who come to see us at our shows on Sunday. It creates such a warm and friendly atmosphere.

Lastly, I am grateful for Margie. She is not only my best friend, but after next October she will be family as well. She adds so much joy to my life it would take an entire post just to explain it all! How about you? What friend or family member are you grateful for? Once you start thinking about it, I am sure you will feel very grateful and lucky just like I do!

30 DAY GRATITUDE JOURNEY DAY 26 – EXPRESS YOURSELF

It is interesting to think that you could be grateful for a form of expression. Again, this is one of those things that we seldom think about, yet doing so could add an amount of joy to our life. Let us get into it shall we? Have you ever thought about the different ways to express yourself? Unless you are a right-brain, creative person the answer is usually ‘no’. In which ways do you express yourself regularly? Myself, verbally would be my answer. Throughout my life, I have work hard to improve my verbal communication and have achieved a level of some proficiency. This has served me well until recently. At two of my jobs I deal with people who are extremely hearing-impaired. As a person who enjoys a great conversation, it is frustrating that there exists a great amount of difficulty with communication.

This made me explore other avenues. The lady at my day job often texts fellow employees to communicate with them. At my weekend job, the fellow there uses a mixture of writing notes and gestures. Often, there is alcohol mixed in which can make it a little confusing. I thought how nice the written word is, but then also thought of people who’s vision is impaired to one degree or another. As an author, this is still a group I would love to reach. It is wonderful there are audiobooks.

We have just covered 2 forms of expression – spoken word, written word and recorded word. This is just touching on verbal communication. In my life, I am blessed to have many artists that convey their emotions through painting, sculpting, sewing and of course the amazing cakes my lovely lady makes. There are so many forms of expression. Thinking of this reminds me of the book, The Five Love Languages. In which you can explore the different ways both you and your partner both express and receive love. Thinking of all that we just mentioned, there are more than five ways to express love. Some people express their love with a hug, some with a gift and some with an act of service. Some draw you a picture or bake you a cake.

Which of these is the form of expression I am most grateful for? Like many of these items in our thirty-day journey, this is the first time that I have pondered it. In reflection, I would say what I am most grateful for is the fact that there are so many ways to express yourself. Each one reached someone in ways that others cannot. This is yet another reason why we are all important and beautiful. Someone can be saying the same message, just in a different way than you. You delivery may reach someone that others cannot. High polish and a large audience does not necessarily make a message more powerful. Express love and compassion in whatever way suits you. Doing so will reach the people you are meant to reach.

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 23 – TRADITION

Today is another one of those moments of gratitude we do not often think about. Be honest, when was the last time you sat down and thought to yourself, “What tradition am I grateful for?” It has probably been quite some time, if you have ever done that at all. When we talk traditions, the first thing to come to many people’s minds are holidays. My favorite holiday is Thanksgiving. There are a few traditions to this holiday. There is gathering with family and a big meal. What I have found that younger generations are a little less enthusiastic about traditions than previous generations. This is both good and bad. On one hand traditions are what keep us together. It is a communal action that we all can be a part of. On the other hand, it is good to question why we are doing certain traditions and what are the impacts of them.

This leads me to what I am grateful for when it comes to tradition. The potential of traditions themselves. Many of our traditions are passed down from generations prior. If we can take a fresh look at them and add our own twist the traditions can serve us better. We can even develop new and empowering traditions. How can a tradition be empowering? How about when you see a friend you begin by both sharing one thing you are grateful for about the other? This would not only add joy to the encounter, but have you thinking about why you are grateful for that person when you are not together. How about the tradition of expressing one thing you love about your spouse every time you come home from work? That, again, would have you thinking about why you love them all day long or at least the whole drive home.

You do not even need to involve other people to create a powerful tradition. You could start each day by paying yourself a compliment in the bathroom mirror. How about once a week writing down one thing about yourself that you are grateful for? These do not involve others but still can empower you. You can start a tradition that brings you love, joy or laughter to your life. Traditions should be a fun event you look forward to. It should not be an obligation. Having a tradition that you look forward to that can also help you to become the best version of yourself is certainly something to look forward to. That is why the potential of tradition is something I look forward to! How about you? What tradition do you look forward to?

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 22 – WHAT IS YOUR STORY?

What story are you grateful for? As an author, I am really excited to hear what everyone has to say about this post. There are so many great stories. There are fiction, non-fiction, biographies, fairy tales, and many other stories that we could mention. Personally, I have some in each category. There are stories that I could read over and over again and still be entertained. Bill Bryson’s (despite his not writing back to me) book, A Walk in the Woods, brings laughter to me every time. The book, Man’s Search for Meaning, is a powerful reminder of the value of life and what humanity is capable of. Both the good and the bad.

Another group of stories that I am so grateful for is ones that are shared among friends and family. My Aunt Lucia can tell some of the craziest stories. Some people just have that gift. My grandfather was a great story teller. When people pass on, I think their stories are something we miss. Even if we heard them a million times. Before the printed word, stories were how history was passed down from one generation to the next. A great story teller is a truly talented person.

I am grateful for this Story. That is my lovely bride-to-be, Margie Story. Without her, you might not be reading this blog. She does so much behind the scenes to keep things going that I feel she never gets enough credit. She is definitely one of my favorite stories! Can you believe there may be a story that I am even more grateful for? There is! Can you guess what it might be?

The story that I am most grateful for is the one you are reading. No, not my blog. Not even any of my three books. The story I am talking about is the story of my life. It was almost a far shorter story only a few years ago. Yes, at points it is a sad story. Sometimes it is an angry and disheartening story. It is also a happy story. A story filled with love, joy and laughter. Most importantly, it is a story that I am still writing. I am sure there are more challenges to come, but there are also more wins, more love and more laughter. The story of my life includes my Margie Story, and many other wonderful people. There will be more amazing people I have yet to meet.

What is your favorite story? Is it a book? Is a funny story told to you by your parents or grandparents that you have heard a million times? Is it the love story you share with someone special? Is it the story of your life that we should all be grateful to still be writing? I would love to hear your answer in the comments below.

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 20 – WHO IS IT?

This is one of the big ones. Who are you grateful for in your life? In any gratitude practice I think this one is included. I am sure at some point in time we have thought about how grateful we are for certain people in our life. Here are two challenging ideas I hope you take action on. First, spend a focused few minutes and think of who you are grateful for. Write their names down. Next, ask yourself how you could express this feeling of gratitude? You could tell them in person, a phone call, an email or the good old greeting card. You could even post on their social media.

Great friends are certainly people to be grateful for. Above is a picture of people who used to come to a bar I worked at. Many are still good friends. I am grateful to have met them all. That is the fun thing about meeting people. Each person, in some way or another, brings something to your life to be grateful for. Even some of the worst people can leave you grateful for the example of what you do not want in your life and grateful for all of those who are not like them. Most people, however, give you something positive to be grateful for. It could be humor, being a great listener or a million other traits.

Family is another group of people to be grateful for. Above is a picture of my mother and I braving what turned out to be a terrible flood. We also had been enjoying the Wisconsin State Fair. Walking through the fair with my mother is one of my favorite things that I look forward to all year. We go on discovery walks and try many new foods and just have a lot of fun. Could not be more grateful for that if I tried.

To of course having someone that loves you even on your bad days. This woman has changed my life more than any other person I know. A year and a half from now I guess she will also be family! Having that rock of love is one of the most powerful things that you can have in your life. Sharing adventures as well as the daily grind together. It makes the sorrows less and multiplies the joy.

As you can see, there are so many people to be grateful for in your life. Really, each person offers you that little bit to be grateful for. We touched on it in the friendship paragraph, but you can think of anyone and everyone and gratitude could be given. The great employee who served you an iced coffee so you would have energy to write. (Thank you Anthony) The lady who checked you out at the market. The employee at the power company you may never meet, but who worked in dangerous conditions to keep your power on and the milk from spoiling. Speaking of milk, how about being grateful for the dairy farmer? How about being grateful for the cow?

There are an endless list of people you can be grateful for. I have shared just a few of mine and gave you some thoughts on more. How about you? Who are you grateful for in your life?

30 DAY GRATITUDE JOURNEY DAY 19 – TOUCH

We are on day 19 of our 30 day gratitude journey. Not only does this mean we are roughly 2/3 of our way through, but it also happens to be my favorite number. We are looking at what touch we are grateful for today. Another one of those area that we do not often stop and think about it. If we lost our sense of touch, can you imagine how much different our life would be? Have you sat down and thought about what touch you were grateful for? I can’t say I have. Now I will and I hope you will join me.

One of the things that comes to mind is the touch of a soft blanket on your skin. Make that a warm, soft blanket. We are experiencing high winds and are soon expected to have snow join along with that. Being able to crawl under a warm, soft blanket will feel amazing. Can you image that feeling?

Not to use this as a grateful item two posts in a row, but I would be dishonest if I didn’t. My favorite touch is a hug from my lovely lady. Not only does she give some of the best hugs, but it shows that she cares. That touch conveys so much. Reassurance, love, compassion and healing. All of that in one hug. Can you think of a favorite touch?

30 DAY GRATITUDE JOURNEY DAY 18 – ART!

When I first stopped to think of what piece of art that I was grateful for I drew a blank. Sure, there are paintings and sculptures I enjoy, but nothing really stood out for me. This is what makes this 30 day journey so powerful. We are looking at areas in our life that we may not take the time to think about. For me, art is one of those. I enjoy art, but it is not very often that I sit down and ask myself, “Neil, what piece of art are you grateful for?” Did that today though.

As I sat thinking of the answer, I realized what a broad term ‘art’ is. I was busy thinking of paintings and sculptures. Art is far more than that. I good cup of coffee can be a work of art. If you have ever had a bad cup of coffee you can really appreciate this. As an author, I should have known that books are works of art as well. Poems, they are works of art. Music is one of my favorite art forms. If it were not for that my early morning commute and workouts would be far different. As I mentioned last post, the wonderful baked creations my lady creates are works of art. The creativity and effort that goes into them is truly amazing!

After much thought, this is my favorite work of art. It is a living work of art. The woman I love. When you stop and think about it, each one of us is a living work of art. We are formed from different creative influences. It is a work of art that is every evolving. Just like much art, some may find beautiful what some do not. It does not make the art any less valuable. What is your favorite piece of art? Are you working to improve the work of art that is you?

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 14 – SIGHT

Today’s gratitude post was one that made me stop and think. It is a powerful one at that. We have many sights that we view daily. How often do we stop and appreciate them? There are certainly ones that we lament about. Take my current example. I am sitting in a Starbucks right next to my day job writing this blog. Outside it is snowing like crazy. It is  a little more than a week away from the first day of spring and we should be having temperatures more closer to that season. The trees still look dead and it is rather gloomy. Those things stand out to me. Can you guess how focusing on them has me feeling? I can tell you that it is less than inspiring.

When I first read that today we would be talking about what sights we were grateful for, I must confess to having a hard time with this. That will tell you what a great opportunity this is. Apparently, I do not spend enough time focusing on all of the good things that I lay my eyes on in a day. Take the picture above. It is my current situation. I have a laptop to write on, access to the internet to publish it so I can chat with all of the wonderful members of this community around the globe. Not to mention the delicious hot cup of coffee just waiting for me to take a sip! There are a few sights that many of us take for granted that instead we should be using as a moment of gratitude every day! Let us take a look at a few of those.

The sight I am always most grateful for is this beautiful lady right here. My love, Margie. Not only is she lovely, she loves me! Her smile, especially if I have anything to do with it, is the most beautiful sight to me. It means that I am living up to my standard of being a good man and taking care of my lady. How about the sight of your front door? When you come home do you think about everything that is wrong with your house or are you grateful that you have a roof over your head? The amount of homeless people is not only heartbreaking, but is growing. In an age where the cost of living keeps increasing, having a place to come home to is definitely something to be grateful for. How about the dinner or breakfast you are about to eat? How many people go hungry? Sure it might not be the dish that you want, but you can afford something. These things you might be grateful for but how often do you express that gratitude? Even just to yourself? We are all guilty of taking it a little bit for granted.

When we stop to express gratitude for things like a loving spouse, a place to come home to and food to keep us going we feel more abundant and full of good fortune. It is my belief that something more happens. I believe that being grateful for that spouse will help increase the love between you two. I believe that being grateful to have a place to come home to will make it feel more peaceful, even if it is a little chaotic. I believe having gratitude for whatever meal you are about to eat will make it taste just that little bit better. Do not take my word for it. Try expressing, and feeling, gratitude for these things in your own life. Before you walk in the door at the end of a hard day, say, “I sure am grateful to have someplace to come home to.” When you see your spouse say to yourself, or to them, “I am really grateful for you even if we occasionally drive each other crazy.” Pause before that first bite and express gratitude for being able to enjoy a meal when many do not have that pleasure. Try doing this for a week and see how it feels.

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 10 – TASTE

Can you believe that we are one-third of the way through our 30 days? Hard to believe. I hope you are beginning to see just how many things you have to be grateful for in your life. We are just warming up. This has been just as enlightening to me. There are so many things that I had not stopped to think about in a long time. Areas of our life that we take for granted. Today is no different. What taste are you grateful for? We did do one on food so I will not dwell too much on that.

When people think of taste, almost always it goes to food. That makes sense, because after the age of about 2 or so, we mostly put food in our mouth. Taking this into account, there are more tastes to be grateful for. This is what makes these month so exciting. We are asked to think about different things. When was the last time you thought about your sense of taste and what you had to be grateful for? I am going to share a few of mine, but I would love to hear yours as well.

The post does ask us what taste we are grateful for today. That will help keep things a little simpler. I will start from my morning. Perhaps one of the things I am most grateful for, not only in taste but in life, is the taste of my lady’s lips on mine as I am leaving for work. Why? It not only is a reminder of the love we share, but what I have to look forward to come home to. On the way to work, there is the taste of my coffee I brewed that morning. So much to be grateful for there. The amazing machine that does all the work for me. The energy that it will help give me at 4am. Even the fun variety of the different coffees I have. One thing that is overlooked by the majority of people is the taste of clean water. A large portion of the planet does not have access to clean water. It is something we take for granted but without it, a lot could go wrong.

There are more abstract tastes as well. The taste of success when you get a little win in the day. As an author, these can often be what keeps you going. The taste of compassion when you seek to understand instead of respond. Yes, I realize they might not fit the specific definition of ‘taste’ but they are certainly something to be grateful for. How about you? What tastes bring gratitude to mind for you? Please let us know in the comments below.

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 9 – PLACES!

On our 30 day journey of gratitude, this could be one of the days with the largest possibility. What place are you most grateful for? This is one of those answers I do not think should have the word ‘most’ attached to it. In fact, I believe you should create a list of places you are grateful for along with a little notation as to why you are grateful for them. Do this places bring you peace? Perhaps they bring you joy? Are there certain places that help you feel connected to people that have passed on? How about places that are an escape or refuge? Are you beginning to have a few pop into your head? I know I am.

Here is a thought that could really blow this wide open. A ‘place’ does not have to be a geographical location. Your grateful place could be in your peace. It could be in your spouse’s heart and thoughts. It could be getting lost in a meditation. A place can actually be a person. Before you think I am taking this to an off-color gratitude post, allow me to explain. Sometimes the place you are most grateful for is wherever your friends are. Maybe your favorite place is with the person you love. It doesn’t matter if it is the tropical beach or the dentist office, as long as they are there holding your hand. A place can be an activity. Some places I am grateful for are where I write, where I walk in nature and where I can be with friends.

If I had to pick a favorite place, it would be next to this lady. Why? Even when I am have a tremendously great time, it is never perfect if she is not there. Whether I am laying in her arms to end a tough day or she is driving me crazy, I always want her next to me. When she is not there it just feels like something is missing. That is why being next to my lady is the place that I am most grateful for.

How about you? What place are you most grateful for? Is it someplace you can visit often? Why not create and add to a list of places that put you in a grateful mindset? It can help you when life gets tough. Changing your surroundings can help improve your emotional well-being. I cannot wait to read your favorite places in the comments below.