This may seem counterintuitive, but it really makes sense if you stop and think about it. Take them one at a time. Love is a great example. Love is not always of the romantic type. Although it works the same for both. Love is compassion, understanding and respect. At least it should be. When you love someone, that is show them compassion, understanding and respect, the more likely they are to do it to you. The more that you ‘give it away’ to others, the more people are likely to give it back to you. Will there be some exceptions? Of course. If you wish to have a life filled with more love and understanding, the best way to accomplish this is by giving it away.
Abundance is a little harder to wrap your head around. First thing to note is that abundance is not always money. If you have an abundance of anything, the best thing you can do is share it with those less fortunate. This can be your time, a shoulder to cry on or an ear to sit and listen. The more you do these for others, the more they are likely to reciprocate. Even when it comes to money this is so. Think of someone who picks up the tab when you go out to eat. Would you not want to do the same for them the next time?
The point is that in life if you do something for others, they are more likely to do it for you. Therefore, if you want more of something in your life, it only makes sense to put as much of it as you can into the world. The more you do it, and the more people you do it to, the more it will come back to you. Do not take my word for it. This coming week try putting as much genuine kindness out into the world. If you are already kind, double your efforts. Do this for a week straight and see what happens the following week.
On the journey to self-improvement there are many tricky obstacles. One of the toughest is that we share the planet with people who have no intent, or desire to improve themselves. There are those who feel the need to treat others poorly. I have seem a man berate a coffee shop employee because he coffee was 5 degrees too hot. Not only was it almost impossible to tell that exactly, he could have waited a few seconds and it would have cooled down. That is enough to make someone watching that behavior upset. A more constructive approach is to let it remind us of how important our kindness and compassion to retail employees is and how much it is appreciated.
There are those who have no regard or care for their health. This is especially hard to watch if it is someone we care about. If these people persist in neglecting their health and lifestyle, it will remind us how impactful those two things have in our own life.
To me, one of the most frustrating is watching those individuals who make it their life mission to live in a world of self-created drama and terrible decisions. Lack of accountability and any actions towards improving their life can drive you crazy to watch, and certainly to listen to. What every episode can remind us of is how important working on ourselves and our life is.
All of these people can be a challenge, but they can also be a great reminder. We should be grateful when the universe shows us how important kindness, compassion and self-improvement are. These fine folks can be just what we need in our life to motivate us to take the next leap in our own development. Be grateful for the lesson they bring.
Have you ever thought of the cost of your distractions? What has that harmless scrolling really cost you? What started as a quick ‘5 minute scroll’ ended up having you hooked for hours. How about binging television shows? You think you will watch just one episode and suddenly your day is over. I hear lots of people justifying this behavior as “I just need to relax.” or “Well I have earned it.” Do not get me wrong, I am not one of those hustle until you die kind of people. Still, we must asking what we could have been doing during that time we were giving to our distractions.
Is it more fun to watch Netflix than clean the house? Undoubtedly. When you put off obligations for pleasures, you still have the stress of undone obligations. It is not just household chores that miss getting done. You could be taking actions that would increase the quality of your health, or your career, or your relationship? That one hour you spent watching videos of cats that look like pop tarts could have been invested in turning your hobby into a business that could add a stream of income. Thinking of ideas to increase the love of you and your partner could have a much greater impact on your life than finding out what the Kardashians are doing.
Do not think wasting one hour a day is such a big deal? If you only waste one hour a day, only on the weekdays, that comes out to 260 hours a week. That is a full 6 and a half 40 hour working weeks you could have invested in bettering your life. Instead of focusing on the pleasure of these mindless distractions, ask yourself what they are costing you. Think of the productive things you could have done with that time.
This is a change in mindset that could really motivate us. The funny thing is that it is the truth. Often, I use the hourglass as a metaphor for our life. The sand is always going from top to bottom. Just like the time in our life is always fleeting. This should motivate even those who procrastinate the most. You do not get ‘one more day’ on earth, you actually have one less. One less day to leave a meaningful legacy. One less day to love those closest to you. One less day to become the best version of who you can be.
Most of you who follow this blog know that I had a brief flirtation with death not all that long ago. In fact, I did die, but not to ruin the plot of my book, The Beat Goes On, but I came back. That whole experience certainly changed my outlook on life as you might imagine it would. The crazy part is that it was not the actual dying and coming back, but the time leading up to it that had the greatest impact on me. Knowing that in 2 months I would have a surgery that could end my life (I did not know it actually would briefly) was not a scary prospect in terms of me not being here. What really scared me is what I would, or in some cases would not, leave behind.
I thought of the Native American saying, “It is a good day to die.” Meaning that if your life were to end today, would you be happy with the life you lived up to that point? I realized that although I had turned around a great many aspects of my life that I had a long way to go to live a life that I would be at peace leaving. For one, I felt that I had not done enough to leave the world a better place. There was so much more content to create. There were more books to write, more videos to make, and of course more blogs to write. Since that day I have written a blog for nearly 1300 days straight. My fourth book will arrive in 2026. My podcast has moved to YouTube (See Living the Dream with Neil Panosian),
Every day we have one less opportunity. Some days may be tough, others may seem impossible. Even those days we must take advantage of. We must never miss an opportunity to show kindness or lighten the burden of another. We may never have the chance again. How many more opportunities will we have to tell, and more importantly show, those we love how much we care for them? Each day is one less chance. Make the most of today.
This quote is not only amusing, it is also very powerful! We may chuckle when we read it, but it does force us to confront a certain reality. That reality is often the smallest things can create the biggest changes. Think of Covid. That was a virus. Something so small it could not even be seen. Still, this small thing changed the entire world! It is not always a mosquito or virus. The same can be true with things in the positive. Think of how people change just by adopting one new habit. Taking the stairs instead of the elevator or giving up soda or alcohol. These are just one little habit, yet they create a big change in people.
Just as a mosquito is a seemingly small and insignificant creature, it can sure create an issue. A while back I shared a story about an employee at the coffee shop I write at. She came in on her off day and proceeded to hand out roses to every woman present. A nice, but not that grand gesture. I cannot be sure how it affected the other women, but I know it gave my mom a great deal of joy. Not sure how many flowers she handed out, or the cost of each individual one, but each one gave joy to the life of the person who received it.
You can do the same. You do not have to hand out flowers. It can be a smile, or a genuine compliment. What may seem insignificant to you can be nothing short of magic to the person receiving it. You, my dear reader, are keeper of magic beyond your imagination. With social media, YouTube and the closeness of the globe, you can impact lives with not only your actions, but your example. Are you striving to better yourself in the new year? Those watching can draw strength and motivation for you. Believe in yourself and your power to make a difference. You can give someone hope, peace and joy. That is nothing short of magic.
I cannot assume you had the chance to read my post on the one Christmas gift I wanted, so allow me to explain the title of this post. No, it is not a recommendation to be extremely materialistic. During Christmas, people asked me what I would like for a gift. Living in a state of gratitude as much as possible, I could not think of anything that would make my life more incredible. I have a gorgeous woman who loves me (see photo above), amazing friends that add greatly to my life, and experiences that bless me in ways I cannot often imagine. Walks in nature and coffee with my mother and friend Nick, fun and laughter with friends, and of course all of the amazing loving moments with my lady.
When thinking about all of the blessings I have, the only thing I could think that I would want, was more of the same. When pondering resolutions for the new year, the same thought came into mind. That thought was simply more. I enjoy making my lady feel special and loved, because she is both. In the coming year I will do that more. My passion is helping people see the greatness inside them and the world around them. This year I am going to work on doing that more. Sharing special moments of love and laughter with family and friends will be done more often.
How can I manage to do more of all these things? It will definitely take more energy. It will take more knowledge as well. How can I gain more energy and more knowledge? By working on becoming a better version of myself. Eating better, working out more consistently and listening and learning more. There is so much material at our fingertips, we can often overlook some of the easiest ways to improve. Eduardo, one of our self-improvement family from Italy recommended a great book on how to improve communication in a relationship. Not only were there great tools and strategies in this book, but it reminded me that there is always so much to learn. Pick any subject and spend an afternoon on Google and YouTube exploring that topic. You will be amazed at what you will learn. Do that for a week and you will walk away an entirely different person.
It is exciting that you can Google, “How can I be a better author?” for example. There will be many ideas for you to explore. Type the same question into YouTube and there will be videos addressing the same subject. Think of the possibilities! You can do this with how to be a better husband/wife, how to be more romantic, how to be a better listener, how to be a better friend and a million other questions. For once, we could use technology in a constructive manner to serve us instead of the other way around. Some of the information we will discover may not be a fit for us, but if you were to spend an hour, five days a week invested in learning on these or any other subject, think of how much further along you would be! That would be over 6 working weeks of time spent on self-improvement! You would only need to do it an hour a day and you could even take weekends off! Do you see how easy it could be to get ahead?
The best way to add ‘more’ to every area of your life and to make each area better is to work on the common denominator in all of those situations. That common denominator is YOU! By becoming the best version of yourself, you positively affect every area of your life. It is as easy as consuming content that is already out there. It does not cost you anything but a small fraction of your time. This should excite all of us in the year to come! I look forward to bringing you more, and better, content in the year to come as I work on improving myself. What areas of your life are you looking forward to learning more about?
On New Year’s Eve, Margie and I had the pleasure of meeting some friends out. Normally, I am all about staying home, but we decided to go out as it was close to our home and plenty of our friends would be there. While there, I asked everyone a question we talked about a few posts ago. That question was, “What in the last year are you most grateful for?” It is a new tradition I have been wanting to start. Coupling the act of making resolutions for self-improvement with gratitude for many of the good things that have already happened.
One of the first people I asked was a friend of ours that is due to be married in 2027. As expected when asked what he was most grateful for in the past year, he pointed to his bride to be. That would have been a touching story in its own right, but when he added why, it drove home a point that we often discuss on this site. The gentleman had worked in law enforcement and was shot. Soon as he was healing from that, he had a rupture in his intestines. This landed him in the hospital for quite some time. As you can imagine, one happening right after the other was hard to take. His lady made sure to be by his side every day. In addition to working full-time, and taking care of the house and looking after his dog, she stayed with him at the hospital often foregoing sleep.
As terrible as this situation was, it proved to him that this lady’s love was true and strong. Something that could only have been displayed in such trying times. When someone tells you that they will love you through anything, that is wonderful to hear. When they show you that they will, that is something different entirely. Nobody wants to have tragedy thrust upon them. Certainly, nobody want to be in the hospital for a long period of time. It is through situations like this, we are shown the true depths of others love for us. That is something to be grateful for.
When reflecting on what we are most grateful for, it can seem contrary to think of our hardships, but as you can see, they often bring the greatest blessings. I heard a saying that many people never open their greatest gifts because they do not like the wrapping paper. In this case, discovering that someone’s love for you is deep and true was wrapped in medical emergency that included lots of pain and a long time of healing. Discovering a gift in that is a skill and an art that many of us could stand to develop more of. When thinking about what we are most grateful for in our life, maybe we should ponder our challenges as well as our triumphs.
My upcoming fourth book will revolve around the concept of falling back in love with your life. To that end, I have been spending a good deal of time thinking about just such a topic. What does falling in love with life look like, feel like and more to the point, how can we accomplish it? Falling in love with life sounds like a complex, New-age sort of goal. It really is neither. Falling in love with life is much like falling in love with a person. It is in considering this, we can answer all of the questions we asked earlier.
When you first fall in love with someone, how does it feel? Like you are walking on clouds. Nothing they do really bothers you… that much anyway. As time goes on, you have your little disagreements. Maybe even a few big ones too. Without realizing it, the hurts and disappointments mount. Not only in your partner, but in yourself as well. Asking yourself why you said or did that stupid thing that hurt your partner. Soon, little things that you didn’t even notice tend you drive you crazy. The more this happens, the more crazy you get. It can be like a snowball rolling downhill.
If this is true, and we all know it is, how does any relationship last? Even more to the point, how do some maintain that love and even grow? It would seem impossible looking at the facts we explored above. The truth is hard for many to take, and too hard for some to do. The truth is falling in love is work. No matter how amazing your partner is, and believe me I have the best, it takes work. Those disappointments must be balanced with moments of care and compassion. We must work on controlling our emotions and proper and healthy communication. We must not only accept our mistakes in learning, but those of our partner. In striving to be better, we will slip on occasion. Growth is never linear. In addition to acceptance, we must learn from them. Every painful lesson has in it the seed of greater understanding and growth.
How do you know if you are succeeding and growing? Do you find yourself arguing about the same things over and over? Are your disagreements more frequent? Then you have some work to do. This work takes years and involves much pain and uncomfortable moments. Why would anyone go through that? The reward is worth far more than the struggle. Being with someone who can not only still make you feel like you are walking on clouds, but has the knowledge of your past hurts and mistakes and still loves you is on another level. Learning and developing yourself is a process that positively affects everything in your life, including your relationship. Look at the photos of my lady and I above. They are 5 years apart and the love has only grown.
Falling in love with life is much the same as falling in love with another person. At first, when we are children every bit of life is a miracle. As we get older, more challenges arise. The hurts we experience tend to mount up. Life can end up seeming like a chore or a job. How can we maintain our love of life, like we do in our relationship? By using the same tools. Yes, there will be the same challenges. We will have moments of doubt. There will be lessons that are uncomfortable to learn. We will have to confront and fix things about ourself that we may not like to. We must work hard to change our mindset. Changing our focus from what is wrong to what is right. That does not mean denying some things need work. No, it means seeing those things as opportunities instead of challenges or failures. It also means spending time focusing on the miracles of life. All of the blessings we take for granted.
Reading this, it may sound like a new-age nonsense advice column, but it is the truth. Feeling like life is a miracle and everyday is an opportunity verses like life is a battle or a job makes all of the difference. Which one do you currently feel? What could you do to change that perception? Falling back in love with your life takes a lot of work, but the payoff is worth far more. The more effort you put in, the greater the return. You only get one life, why not work to enjoy it to the fullest?
One of my favorite things I have ever written (see my book Living the Dream) and also my favorite YouTube video I have done (search Neil Panosian on YouTube) is writing your own eulogy. The reason why is that it offers an amazing solution to many of the things we struggle with in our life. That can include direction and clarity. There are countless books read and billions of dollars spent on finding our life’s purpose and on the best way to live our life.
The irony is that it really is not that complicated. One of the quickest and easiest ways to answer these questions is to write our eulogy. When we ponder what we would like our life to be remembered for, we know whether the actions we are currently taking are moving us in that direction or not. We also know what to do and what not to do that will have us living a life we want to be remembered for. Like planting a tree we will never sit under. Taking actions that will have a positive effect on future generations is what not only gives our life purpose, it is what creates a great legacy.
Recently, more value to this writing your own eulogy has been brought to my attention. That is thinking of specific areas of your life and certain people. Think of people that you consider important in your life. What would you like them to say at your funeral? Even though you will not be there to hear it, the point is that it will be what they remember you for. This will not be the same for everyone, obviously. What it does provide is direction on how we should treat and act with each person individually. When I think about my love, Margie, I think of one set of actions. When I think of my friend Nick, the actions are obviously different. However, each ‘eulogy’ would give us the proper actions we should take.
In what is a somewhat less personal aspect, think of other areas of your life. How would you like to be remembered at work? Someone who always complains or someone who always encourages others? Either way, you know the actions to take. How about in your community? Do you want to be remembered at all? If so, make sure to get involved. It could be as the helpful neighbor. You could get involved in community groups or neighborhood clean ups. To, of course, how you want to be remembered as a person. This may seem vague, but it should not be. It is how you act and treat people on a daily basis. How are you to retail employees? How are you when you talk on the phone to people? How do treat strangers and people who can do nothing for you? These people may not give a eulogy at your funeral, but their memories will be there just the same.
As you can see, writing a eulogy can offer a lot to your life while you are living. It can offer direction and clarity. This is true with not only your life in general, but specific people and situations as well. When your life seems turned upside down and you are not sure what direction to go, I suggest doing two things. First, list everything you are grateful for. This will give you a better mindset and help you see that you still have a lot going for you. The second is to write your eulogy and think about what you would want people to say about you. Is that currently where you are? If not, what actions do you need to take to correct that? The answers will reveal themselves and you will know where to go from there.
Another great quote from one of my favorite Stoics. How many of us judge the success of our days, or our lives, by how much we harvest? How much money did we make? How much power and influence did we earn? Did we get that promotion? Did we get affection and love from our partner? Did our friends praise us? Not only does this cause stress, it can make us a self-centered jackass. If only there was a way to handle our life and decide whether it was successful that was less stressful and moved us closer to becoming the best version of ourselves.
There is! That is how many seeds we planted. What on earth does this analogy mean? Looking at the examples above, let us figure that out. How much money did we make? What if we instead looked at how much we invested? What we did that may help us earn money in the future? Did we review our budget? Did we get that promotion? How about the work we put in that will separate us from our coworkers and show what a valuable employee we are? Setting us up to earn promotions in the future? How much power and influence did we earn? This is a tricky one because it is rarely understood by those looking for power and influence. One of the best ways to get both is to find as many ways as you can to be of service. The more you can give to any situation, the more valuable and significant you are. Next we can combine the relationships of our intimate partner and our friends. Why? The solution is pretty much the same. If we are looking for love and affection, or we are looking for praise, we must ask ourselves what we did to earn it. I can tell you on a personal level, when I do something that will bring joy, peace or love to my Margie, my heart soars! Not only that, I usually receive a healthy dose of love in return. When I can do something to help my friends, or express genuine appreciation for them, it results in a reciprocation. That is not the reason you should do it. Always be genuine, but the best way to earn the respect of others is to show them respect.
One important lesson of all of these is that you have little control over how the harvest of your life turns out. Just like growing crops, some years will be better than others. What you have entire control over is the seeds you plant and how well you take care of them. What do you think would be less stressful, putting all of your energy and importance into the harvest, over which you have no control or the planting over which you have complete control? Ask yourself what seeds have you planted today.
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 