Tag: Relationships

IT IS ON TODAY! 😋

Today is one of my favorite days of the year. It is the opening day of the Wisconsin State Fair. I have loved state fair ever since I was young. In fact, I have gone every year since I was born in 1975. In 1996, as I was making my way through the self-improvement journey I was and am still on, I decided to make a change in my life. I recall standing in the center of fair park, in an are they smartly call ‘central park’, and watching the people go by. It was then a thought occurred to me. “If I am so happy every time I come here, why don’t I come here more often?” That was 1996, and I have been to every day of the Wisconsin State Fair since.

The idea behind this was simple. If I have a lot of fun on one day, wouldn’t I have 11 times that much if I went every day? So far it has proved to be so. Attending with different people, doing different things keeps it fresh and exciting. You learn where all the deals are so that you do not spend so much. Not to mention, the memories you create last a lifetime. I am sure there will be more memories created this year that will be talked about years later. Above was a fun picture that I took with my lovely Margie. Last year, my mother and I relaxed with an iced coffee listening to a band playing tropical music.

Some of the best things are events we did not even know about. Here is my mother and I celebrating the 75th birthday of Smokey Bear, who tragically may not be there this year. Still, like the tropical band, fun foods and drinks and places we have never seen, every year there is some fun surprise waiting for us. This makes the excitement leading up to the Wisconsin State Fair even more exciting. Who knows who we will run into and what we will do? Even we do not!

Whatever it is in your life, find something you love and go all out with it! People often ask me how long I will continue to go to the fair every day. Until it ceases to be fun I suppose. Until then, I am going to cherish every ounce of fun that I can out of the experience. I suggest you do the same. Find something you can look forward to every year. Maybe a fishing trip with the guys, or a shopping trip with the girls. Then again, maybe a fishing trip with the girls or a shopping trip with the guys. Whatever works! Grab some friends or a loved one and start making plans!

DON’T BE AS SHEEP 🐑

Here is a post I could do in this country every four years. That would be election time. In this country, there is two main political parties. There are really several others, but people do not usually bother to learn about them. In fact, when it comes to voting those who are to lead our country, there seems to not be a lot of thinking at all. More so, is picking a party and gathering facts to support the party you have picked. This is then usually used to post on social media or start disagreements with family and friends. On occasion, perhaps a complete stranger who may be foolish enough to ask our opinion on politics.

This is not only true of politics, although that serves as a great example, but in many areas of life. People accept what those in positions of authority, whether that is parents, political or religious leaders. We are like the sheep Seneca spoke of. That is not to say that many of these people are not good leaders who have our best interest at heart. We should, however, step out of the crowd and find out for ourselves. Seek a little higher ground so we can get a better view of the big picture. Learn facts from unbiased sources. Do our own independent judgement. Even more important, approach the subject and world with an open and compassionate mind.

Do not be like a sheep following the crowd. Instead use your head to think and develop opinions that are your own. Most of the people you are following have little or no knowledge of your own personal situation. Remember to approach life with an open and compassionate mind. Others can hold different opinions and still be right. What is right for them and their situation can be different than what is right for us.

A VULGAR MISTAKE 🙅‍♀️

Mr. Emerson uses a great term, in my opinion. It is a ‘vulgar mistake’ when we confuse being contradicted with being persecuted. There are far too many people who perceive any difference of opinion as a personal attack on them. This is simply not so. We can differ, and others can differ with us, without it being an attack. This can be hard to keep straight emotionally when we are in the heat of the situation. It may be good to practice asking the question, “Is this person just expressing a difference of opinion, or are they personally attacking me?” If I were to guess, 90% of the time the answer would be the former.

How about in your life? Do you have people who every time you disagree with them they perceive it as a personal attack? You might work on a gentle way to remind them that you are not attacking them, you are just disagreeing with them. How about yourself? Have you been guilty of this in the past? Start asking yourself the question now.

WHO CARES CAN BE A WINNING MANTRA! 🙃

As you begin to read this blog, look at the battery indicator on your cell phone. How much do you have left? In my case, as I write this I have 94%. That is pretty good since the plug doesn’t want to stay in the charger anymore. That is a story for a different day. The neat thing is, it lets you know how much energy your device has left. As it starts to get low, it even changes colors from green to yellow, and finally to red. Same with the gas tank in your car. The closer the needle moves to ‘E’ the less energy you have left. This knowledge comes in handy. We know when we have to charge our phones, or fill the tank in our car.

As the cell phone battery symbol gets lower and the needle gets closer to empty on our cars, we know time is running short. You would think this would mean that nobody would ever run out of a charge or out of gas. You and I both know that is not so. There are people who are constantly doing one or the other. Sometimes even both! Not sure if they are bad at estimating how much time they have left, or just not very observant. Either way, there are people who seem to be having these problems often. You know the type.

If you find yourself with an almost dead battery on your phone, are you going to call up your friend just to chat? Probably not. Are you going to watch silly cat videos? I would guess not until you are near a charger. Same with a low gas tank. Are you going to drive around the block or take the scenic route to your destination? No. You are going to think of ways to save on gas until you find yourself at the pump. What on earth does any of this have to do with self-improvement and how can you use this to improve your life? Let us look.

How many times have we heard someone say, “I am running out of gas.” or “My battery is dead.” They are not talking about their car or phone. No, they are talking about their own energy level. There are far more of them than the people who run out of gas in the middle of the freeway. We don’t have gages on our bodies that show how much energy we have left. We just need to pay attention to their warnings. Just like a cell phone will start to slow down as the battery gets weak, so does our performance start to slip as our energy falter. We need self-care as much as a phone needs a charger, or a car needs a gas pump.

This could be a nap, a quick meditation or a day of pampering. One of the best ways is to conserve your energy as it starts to slip. Worrying about your neighbors business, world politics or arguing about sports is as productive as taking a scenic route when your gas tank is almost empty. Learning not to bother with what doesn’t matter, especially when our energy is low, can save us from having a dead battery of our own. Practicing good self-care can make sure it is charged and we can be productive and of value to others.

WE HAVE 2 JOBS ✌️

These are the two jobs we all have. Our lives should be dedicated to improving ourselves, and to contribute to the happiness of others, which you are doing just by getting the information here on this site. We give you the tools and strategies to accomplish both of these. Here is another amazing secret, by doing either of these, you are closer to accomplishing the other. Let us take a look at what we mean.

First is improving our lives. It is important to keep moving ahead. Why? The reason is that nothing stays stagnant. We are either moving ahead, or falling behind. This is true in any area of our life. Fitness for example. If we get in shape and think to ourselves, “I am in shape. Now I can stop exercising and just eat pizza and ice cream all day.” I am sure you can imagine what would happen. Another are which people constantly need reminding of is relationships. We somehow believe if we court someone, marry them and maybe even start a family, that we have this area of our life ‘handled’. Much like physical fitness, the fitness of your relationship will start to decline if you do not constantly work on that. The only way to improve your relationship, is to improve yourself. Learn to become more romantic. Learn to be a better listener. This holds true for every area of our life. Career, spirituality, and education. Obviously, the better of a person we become, the more we are able to serve others. We can see how that would help contribute to their happiness.

Speaking of contributing to other’s happiness, how does that help improve us? By finding ways in which we can add more happiness to the lives of others, we often have to learn, or at least practice, certain skills. This will only help us level up in our own lives. At the very least, we are able to practice our own interpersonal skills. That is how to relate to others. Especially in a world where far too much of our relationships are online, this is a skill that could use some polishing.

There you have it. Two jobs that compliment and help feed each other. If we focused exclusively on these two tasks, our world would improve exponentially. Do yourself a favor and ask if the action you are about to take would either help improve you, or add happiness to the life of another. If not, is it a good use of your energy?

THE BEST REVENGE 👌

This should be a lesson we learn as we make our way into adulthood. Sadly, that is not the case. When we are in school, if someone calls us a name we would call them one. Often, we try to think of a more insulting name to use. At the end of the day, both of us are insulted and walk away feeling a little bit less about ourselves. It is a complete waste of both parties energies. Watching the world of politics, it is clear several adults have never grown out of this phase.

Rising above the petty actions of our enemies is seldom, if ever, a fulfilling action at the time. What is great is how you feel upon reflection of the event going forward. “Yes, I was the bigger person.” is an answer that will last longer than any name you are called. If we lower ourselves to the actions of our enemies, we become no better than they.

Old Blue Eyes has some amazing song lyrics, but none are as good as this quote. While people are busy coming up with a bigger insult, we should be busy on improving ourselves and our lives. While they are spending their energy on actions to belittle or attack us, we can be working on bettering our lot in life. Then, at the end of the day they will be no further ahead, well we will be more successful. In fact, they will be further behind. Why? They have squandered the most valuable resource that we have – time. They have spent theirs concerned with our life instead of improving their own. Even if they succeed at temporarily derailing our life, how has it helped theirs? It hasn’t.

Take the above advice from Mark and Frankie. Do not be like your enemy. Instead, focus on creating your own success.

IT IS OK TO STUMBLE 🔙

A few posts ago, we wrote about how important it was to get out of abusive relationships. The same can be said about a job situation that is slowly killing your soul or any other harmful situation. Although these are logical steps to living and amazing life, they are far from easy ones. Relationships can be very difficult to get out of. Shared economics, promises of people changing, family and religious expectations can make things difficult. That job may give us a false sense of economic security.

As the picture above tells us, just to attempt such things takes a great deal of bravery. If we let our boss talk us into staying a little longer while we keep our eyes open for another opportunity, that is understandable. Do we give that person we know won’t change another chance? That’s up to us, but we must consider our own well-being. These things may take several attempts to accomplish before we can finally follow through. Do not beat yourself up if you fail on your first attempt. The fact that you are endeavoring to better your life takes a lot of guts.

Whether it is giving up unhealthy eating, smoking or an abusive partner, it may take time and several attempts, but each one is an act of courage and a chance to learn something new about ourselves and our situation. Even if you stumble, do not beat yourself up, and certainly do not give up! You are brave for even trying.

HOW TO GET LUCKY 🍀

No, this is not an article about how to have brief romantic encounters. Although, now that I think about it, this formula might work for that as well. No, this is the answer to why some people seem to have things seem to fall in place for them, while others seem to struggle even when good fortune smiles upon them. If you wish to create more good luck in your life, the secret is to really work harder. The harder you work, the luckier you will be. The opposite holds true as well. If we do not work to prepare ourselves for good fortune, when it arrives it will do us no good. Imagine being gifted your dream car, but you can’t drive it because you never got around to renewing your license. I can use this example because I just remembered to do that. How about being offered that dream job, but not being equipped to do a great job at it? (For those of you looking for a talk show host, I have been practicing)

The above quote speaks to what we have been talking about. Briefly touching on ‘getting lucky’, can you imagine running into the person of your dreams but your life is such a dumpster fire they want nothing to do with you? In my life, I have been fortunate to have a partner that is willing to learn and grow with me. I suggest that you prepare for all of the good fortune you desire so that when it does come, you can make the most of it. Want to be a famous singer? Start practicing now so that when you are offered a recording contract you do not sound like a cat stuck in a lawnmower. Want to ‘get lucky’ with that special person? Start learning how to be a respectful, charming and healthy partner now! That way when they do come along you can sweep them off their feet.

The harder we work, the easier life becomes. The less effort we put in, the harder life will be. You want to be lucky? Get to work.

A NEW ADJECTIVE FOR US ALL 🫂

Here is a word that I would like to put in all of our vocabularies. The ability to embrace things about us that are not perfect, especially in today’s world, can be quite difficult. To do so and still be able to understand that we are still beautiful, wonderful and amazing people can be next to impossible. One thing that may make that easier is having a word to describe just that. “Flawsome” is something we should all be. We all have flaws, yet we are all rock stars at something too.

Flaws are not always the curse we see them as. When viewed by others, flaws can make us relatable. Often, having flaws gives us credibility. How much would you trust someone who tells you they are perfect at everything? I know I wouldn’t. When you own your flaws, and understand they do not make you less of a person, you make it more difficult for others to use them against you.

If there are two things I know about the people I love in my life, it is the fact they have flaws, and they are still totally awesome! Those two facts hold true about you as well. Do not let things about you that need improvement convince you that you are anything less than the beautiful soul you are. You, me, and the rest of the world are all “Flawsome”.

STOP THE CIRCUS 🎪

How many of us have people in our lives that continue to let us down and put us in awkward situations? How many of us have people who do this over and over again? It can be hard to make the decision to cut someone off from our life. If we keep these people around us, it is like gripping a hot coal and complaining about it burning us. If we were to just let it go it would cease to burn us and we could begin our healing.

That is not to say that every time there is a misunderstanding or falling out between two parties that it is time to walk away. Everyone makes mistakes. Everyone has bad days. You have had them. I have had them. If there is someone who repeatedly hurts us and we keep inviting them back into our life, it is us to blame, not them. If someone stabs you in the back, it would be good to keep knives away from them. This is a lot of metaphors, but they all say the same thing, people who have no regard to you or your feelings should be shown the door.

Be on the lookout for circuses that you attend in your own life. If you find yourself routinely complaining about how someone treats you, ask yourself why they are still in your life. Yes, it is hard to cut someone off. That is a one-time hurt. What is worse is to keep someone in your life that hurts you over and over again. You are worth much more than that.