Tag: Relationships

TAKE CARE 🩺

I find it interesting that two things can be viewed so differently. Both our bodies and our souls are ours forever. Yet, one you must look at as if you will live forever and the other as if you will die tomorrow. What does this mean? Well, looking after our body we must act as if we will live forever. Why? The longer we look ahead, the better we will take care of our bodies in the future. 90% of disease is caused by diet and lifestyle. Think of that. 90% of everything that goes wrong with our health is mostly our fault. We didn’t eat the best. Maybe we did not take care of our physical fitness. In the moment, skipping the gym seemed like a good idea for our body. Years down the road, however, it came back to haunt us.

What about this soul business? Acting as if we will die tomorrow? If you read the last post about the value of time, I think you might get a glimpse as to why this is important. When I was told in 2 months I would have open-heart surgery, I thought about the legacy I would leave behind. Not the adventures I didn’t go on or the possessions I did not own. When I realized I could die in 60 days, I looked over at the woman I love and worried that she would never understand the depth of my feelings for her. I looked at this website and worried about the people I had yet to reach, encourage and inspire. When faced with the real prospect of death, it was things in my soul that I worried about.

Here is the funny thing. You do not need to be facing a surgery. There are many crazy ways in which our time here could come to a sudden and dramatic end. There was even a show called 1000 Ways to Die. It highlighted, if that is the right term, all the crazy ways people have checked out. That means we should tell those we love them how we feel now. We should try to reach and inspire as many souls as we can. Even that is only our friends and family. Does that mean we should just go crazy and live it up? Not exactly. We could end up living to be 100 years old or older. If we spent decades abusing our bodies, wouldn’t that suck? Stuck for years in a body that is constantly breaking down. Follow the advice from Augustine above. “Take care of your body as if you were going to live forever; and take care of your soul as if you were going to die tomorrow.”

GIVE YOUR SUPPORT 💪

I have a friend who will soon be launching his own business. I stopped by to see him the other morning and he explained all of the work he has put into getting this business off the ground with the best possibility of success. It sure seems like he has done a lot. He has invested a good amount of money, and an even greater amount of time, making sure everything will be ready to go on day one. As he spoke, I could see the excitement and passion for the project he had.

Then he began to tell me the reaction of some of his friends and family. His tone sank. They reminded him of how hard it was for a business to succeed. They even pointed out areas in which he hasn’t had personal success. This, although disappointing, did not deter my friend. Yet, I could not help but wonder why someone would be so eager to rain on his parade. Were they just concerned he might not succeed? After all, 96% of new businesses do fail. Maybe they were reflecting their inability to start their own business? Maybe they didn’t want to see somebody accomplish more than they could.

Regardless of the reason why, there was no reason not to wish the best for a friend. Words of encouragement laced with words of caution are one thing. However, these folks seemed determined to put down his ambitions and ideas. Has this ever happened to you? If so, do not take it personal. People can do so for the reasons outlined above, or for a million other reasons that have nothing to do with us. It is also important to remember to cheer for others. Whenever someone starts something new, business or otherwise, they have enough self-doubt to overcome without us adding to it. When I am writing a book, I know I appreciate all of the encouragement I can get.

In our own life, make sure we support all of our friends and family. Do not add to the doubt they have to overcome, but help them get over it. As for my friend and his business, I will keep you posted as they launch.

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SET YOUR OWN THERMOSTAT 🌡

One invention that has always amazed me is the thermostat. A device that takes the temperature of your house, compares that to a desired temperature and makes adjustments as needed. This could mean turning on the heat if it is too cold, or if you have central air, turning that on to make it cooler. How amazing is that? When you think in the 19th century that would involve hearing aunt Margaret complain she is cold and throwing another log on the fire. Now, you can even make adjustments to your thermostat via your cell phone! Even if you are nowhere near your home. This is crazy cool when you stop to think about it.

Here is a question. Would you allow your neighbor to control your thermostat? Unless you are close to your neighbor and have the same hot and cold tolerance, your answer is probably a resounding ‘no’. It seems insane to let someone else determine how hot or cold your house would be. How much energy you would need to expend and pay for.

As foolish as it would be to let our neighbor determine the temperature in our house, we do this very thing with our personal thermostat. What on earth is a personal thermostat? It is the level of joy and peace in our lives. Far too many of us let outside circumstances determine this. If good things happen to us, we have a good day. If things do not go so well, we are grumpy or depressed. As the wise Mr. Aurelius points out, we should not let outside circumstances to distress us. We must realize our power to revoke whatever reaction that has us feeling negative.

Take control of your own personal thermostat. Set it for “An enjoyable day filled with peace”. This is not to say you may not have to make adjustments, just like the thermostat in your house. Hear some bad news? You may have to ‘turn on the furnace of happiness’. This could mean listening to some music that makes you smile. It could be spending time with someone you love. The boss treat you harshly or unfairly? You might need to ‘turn on the air conditioning’ and cool yourself down. This could be hitting the gym or going for a walk in nature.

It is time to control your own internal thermostat. Just as it would be foolish to let your neighbor control the temperature inside your house, it would be equally foolish to the outside circumstances to control your inner well-being. Take back your power and take back your own thermostat.

WATCH OUT FOR THE WORST VIRUS! 😷

Hate is the worst of all viruses. It will not only negatively affect you socially by ruining relationships and hurting others, but it is far worse than that. It will harm you spiritually. It will harm you emotionally by leading to loneliness and depression. These done for any extended time will negatively affect you physically in a whole host of maladies.

If there is one virus that you must eradicate from your system, it would be hatred and jealousy. The best antidote? Fill your heart with love and compassion. It will do positively for you that hatred did negatively. You will be stronger spiritually, emotionally and physically.

MOST BEAUTIFUL CURVE ON THE BODY ↪️

I recently used this picture on a post about the beautiful lady in my life. Bob Marley certainly had this aspect of relationships worked out correctly. Although reflected in the feminine in this example, it holds true across gender.

I have what I consider to be the most beautiful woman in the world. She is beautiful in so many different ways, how can I say her smile is the most beautiful curve on her body? When someone is genuinely smiling, it means their heart is happy. They have joy on the inside. When you are with them, either something you did or said, or maybe even just your company, is bringing them a bit of joy.

When people are happy and you care about them, that should make you happy. I think true success in life can be measured by the smiles on the faces of those you care about. To see someone smile, notes that their life, or at least a portion of, is full of joy. That is a beautiful thing.

In your own life how successful are you? Look around at the smiles on the faces of those who mean the most to you. The bigger they are, the more successful you are!

WHAT COMMITMENT IS

There have been many versions of this quote throughout history. I’m using this one because I am both a fan of Inky Johnson, and I like the way this is worded. “Commitment is doing what you said you would do long after the mood you said it in has left. “

How many of us have made a commitment and then lost the spirit to maintain it. Say around January 1st? It is easy to say you will go to the gym after a good night’s sleep and everything is going well in life. What happens if we only work out when we feel like it? Not much, if anything at all, would be the answer.

This holds true in every area of our lives. It is easy to be a caring and romantic partner when everything is going great in life and the relationship, but what about when you have challenges in life or the two of you are not getting along. Can you still be committed then? That is the ultimate test.

CELEBRATE THE SUCCESS OF FRIENDS 🎊

Those of you who follow this blog for any amount of time are aware of the affinity I have for the location of Krautland. It is located inside of the Wisconsin State Fair Park, which is one of my favorite places to be. In addition to this, I have been visiting there a very long time. If you would like to learn more of that story, check out the story I did on Krautland for Chow Down in Milwaukee or click the link at the end of this post to read a previous story I have shared about this amazing place.

Today is less about the amazing food and service you will receive at Krautland and more about the owners, Ron and Karla. This year they are celebrating 20 years of owning and running this stand. There are many folks, like myself, who are indebted to these two wonderful souls for doing such an amazing job. When they took the business over from the previous owner, there were concerns as to how the business would continue. Not only were those concerns completely unfounded, but under their guidance, business has only improved!

A new generation is working on continuing this amazing legacy and doing wonderfully. Still, we take a second to recognize what a great job Ron and Karla have done in the last two decades. They have faced so many challenges and continued to rise above them. It does Margie and I good to see two people we respect and admire so much doing so well. If you see friends in your life achieving success, make sure to celebrate with them! Speaking of celebrating, enjoy this picture of the delicious treats Margie made to mark two decades of stewardship Ron and Karla have given Krautland.

CLICK HERE TO READ MY STORY ABOUT KRAUTLAND

SEEDS ON CONCRETE 🌱

Last post, I mentioned a negative experience I had with a gentleman on social media. I wanted to revisit that story because it brought to mind another great secret to an amazing life. This man really did inspire a lot of good ideas. In case you did not read the last post, let me give you the tale in a nutshell. I wanted to share this site with my neighbors in hope that I could bring a lot of joy to those living in my city. I went to social media and shared a little story about this site and what everyone can find here. Careful to mention that it is indeed free.

That is when things took a turn I wasn’t quite expecting. This gentleman said that I was telling him what to think and he wanted no part of it. Explaining that this was not at all what this site was about did nothing to satisfy him. He then went on to state that I was an influencer looking to make money off of people for doing nothing. Reminding him the site is completely free and is just intended to bring positivity to people only prompted him to call me a liar. He was soon joined by a woman who echoed his feelings. Here is the ironic thing, neither of them even looked at the site.

My lady, in a desire to defend me, wanted to inform them of a bit more than what this site was all about. Informing her this was a waste of our energy and would only incite them further, she shortened her rebuff. Here is the crazy thing. These two people who have such a cynical view of the world, are exactly who could use this site the most. It may help them lift themselves out of the negative view they have of the world and those in it.

The ironic part is that they will be the last people to ever read it. This is something that I learned years ago as a bartender. You can bring knowledge, encouragement and inspiration to the masses. You can plant seeds of motivation and inspiration. For some souls, it is like throwing those seeds on concrete. It is the concrete parts of the world who could use the flowers the most, but if you spend your life and energy here, you are throwing your seeds on concrete. The chances anything will bloom are slim. It is certainly worth introducing everyone to the good you discover in life, but your energy is best served by sharing with those who are open and looking.

In life, it may feel like all of your efforts are not accomplishing much. Chances are there is nothing wrong with your efforts. You may just be tossing your seeds on concrete. That is not to say you should abandon those folks. Just spend most of your time, energy and seeds on those who will be open to your efforts.

WHY ARE THEY LIKE THAT? 🤨

Do you have people in your life that treat you harshly and you cannot figure out why? Let me give you two fine examples from my own life. At my day job, I do my best to bring joy and show appreciation to everyone. There is a couple I work with who seem bent on bringing drama into the work place. We looked at the best way to deal with these people last post. The funny thing is that initially, only the man worked there and we got along great. When he lady started there, everything changed. They make up lies about me to the boss. They even will spend extra energy to do things they feel make my job more difficult. This is not only sad and petty, but a complete waste of energy on their part. Not only do I not waste my time or energy on doing anything to make their workday miserable, I honestly never give them a thought. Unless, of course, it will help me come up with an example for a blog.

Another fun example is this blog. Recently, I shared it on a local social media site. I am in over 200 countries around the world, but it is always good to take care of your own neighborhood. Most of the responses were positive, but like in any crowd, there were a few detractors. It started with a gentleman who accused me on telling him what to think. Informing him that is not what this site is about, he told me that I was an online influencer making money off people for doing nothing. I informed him my site is completely free and is just for leaving the world a better place than I found it. He called me a liar.

What makes these people so cynical and miserable? I do not know their stories, but I am sure there is one. Somewhere they must have picked up on the idea that life is a negative experience. As to why that anger comes out directed at me? To me, that is not really a big deal. It serves two very important functions. First, it reminds me of the need to put positivity out into the world. Second, if they are focused on me, for that time they are not directing their misery at someone else. I am grateful for the example as to what it can be like if you do not keep a positive outlook as well. These folks, despite their best efforts, have given me no less than three things to be grateful for. When you do your best to be positive and bring light to the world, know there will be others who are offended by that. Perhaps they do not like seeing others happy when they are not. Maybe they are jealous that you have found the secret to an amazing life? Whatever the cause, do not take it personal. Send them some good vibes and move on. It is not worth your energy.

THE BEST WAY TO WIN THE WAR 🪖

This thought comes from the book, The Art of War. It is a great book not only for military conflict, but for life as well. This quote is a prime example. Many people wish to start wars with us. They could be an ex lover, a jealous coworker, or a boss that likes to put us down. Some of them just enjoy bringing chaos into our lives. Have you ever heard the saying ‘misery loves company’? It is true. There are folks whose only joy in life is to see people as miserable as they are. Baffles me as why this is better than working on their own life, but ours is not to wonder why.

Often, the only result these folks want is for us to engage them in this misery. Remember that you do not have to attend every argument you are invited to. What you should do instead is what Frank Sinatra reminded us to do in the quote above. Focus on our success. Nothing will drive a miserable person crazy than to see the person they are trying to bring down experiencing joy and success. Do not engage them. Do not fight them and you will win the war!

Next time someone does their best to start drama in your life, instead of engaging with them, focus on your own success. At the end of the day you will be further ahead while they will be in the same place disgusted they could not force you into joining them in their misery. That is a win for you.