Tag: Politics

BETTER THAN BEING RIGHT ✅️

In today’s world, this is a very powerful message! If you are foolish enough to turn on the news, you will hear countless stories of conflict, much of it leading to violent and deadly consequences. This could be crime you see in your nation or even your town. On a grander scale, the events in Ukraine and Israel are broader examples of this.

It does not even have to be such extreme cases. There was a man at one of my books signings that told me about how he would always get so mad on his drive to work listening to talk radio. He was angered with the actions of those “idiots”. Those people, in this case, were people who differed from him politically. I don’t even recall which side of the fence he tended to lean. Not that matters much as the anger and hate is the same on both. You could see his blood pressure start to rise just telling me about it. All of this happened at a book signing for my book titled Living the Dream. I asked him what I thought was an obvious question. “Why don’t you just change the station to something you find enjoyable?” He looked at me as if I was being willfully ignorant. “How will I know what they are up to?” he asked. “What would happen if you didn’t?” I countered. He walked away shaking his head at the foolish author. It is my sincere hope he cracks open the great book he purchased and applies a few of its principles.

It doesn’t even have to be some outside source getting our blood pressure up. Many of us do this to ourselves. How many times have you seen something divisive that someone has posted online followed by an endless string of comments. As you read down the comments, they become more heated and lascivious. It doesn’t even have to be something controversial. No. Even people celebrating victories or sharing something that brought them joy can be subjected to scathing comments. Why people go through the trouble of sharing something negative when none is needed is beyond me. Here is something even more confounding – why do we even respond to these?

In our example of the string of comments, I can promise you that none of those people got anything beneficial out of them. In fact, most of them probably got an increase in blood pressure with a side of cortisol, the stress hormone. Quite harmless in and of itself, but I am guessing that was not the only “discussion” they had that day. Many of them probably continued to think about, and maybe even talk about, how wrong this person was. This only served to get them more upset and experience negative emotions while they were thinking and talking about it.

The crazy thing about all of this is that it is completely unnecessary. Is it that important that you have to be right? Here is another thought to ponder. Do you think it might be possible that due to different life experiences and circumstances a person can have a different, yet equally valid, opinion on an issue than you? Is there a chance that both you and that person could be right? Their opinion being right for them and yours being right for you? Do you think there is room to be friends with someone who doesn’t think and feel exactly like you? Hell, that even happens in my house. Of course we know the answer to all of these is yes.

One more question. If you finally ‘prove’ to the other person that your opinion is ‘right’ or ‘better’ than theirs, was it worth the stress and loss of inner peace to get there? What happens if you do win an argument? Do you get a trophy? A cash prize? No. I will tell you what you get. You get get stress, high blood pressure, a weakened immune system as well as a weakened friendship. For what? Are all of these arguments and needing to be right worth the loss of peace? How difficult would it be to say, “Although I disagree with your opinion, I respect your right to feel that way.” and then move on to a more agreeable topic? Next time we feel the urge to argue a point, or prove we are ‘right’, let us slow down and ask ourselves if it is worth our inner peace.

WHEN? THE TIME IS NOW!

Currently, in Israel there is terrible bloodshed. The same is true in the Ukraine. In both cases there are groups wanting to take vengeance on each other for all of the terrible violence being committed. I cannot pretend to have all of the solutions. I can tell you what does not work – violence and revenge. If you conquer another group through fear, violence and intimidation, that only leaves with a festering resentment that will eventually bubble over into future violence. Meanwhile, millions of lives will be lost. These lives could have contributed many amazing things to the world. We will never know.

It is not just war where this is evident. Here, in the United States, there is a bitter feud between political parties. The Republicans and Democrats are busy “Getting back at each other”. Do you know how much work is focused on the real issues facing the country and the world? None. We are paying these people vast amounts of money to act the same way kids do on the playground. They are not focused on working together to solve the issues. They are almost singularly focused on making the other look bad.

This way of thinking and acting is not reserved for war or foolish politicians. No, you can see it happen around the office. It happens in families and in circles of friends. When will finally work together to solve human misery instead of seeking vengeance for it? Once again, I am not pretending to have the answers. I just know violence and revenge solve nothing.

HAVE YOU THOUGHT OF CHANGING THIS?🤔

I love this quote by Leo Tolstoy. So often we are tempted to complain about the world and the state that it is in. Whether we are foolishly blaming a political party or race of people for the world’s trouble, or just venting out loud, we are missing the point. *spoiler alert* no political party, no matter how much we dislike them, gets together to figure out how to destroy the world. *spoiler alert 2* No race, culture or religion is filled with evil people whose soul focus is to destroy your way of life* These are just brainwashing techniques used to keep you in fear so your mind and emotions can be controlled.

If there is no specific “us against them” to rally against, how can we change the world? He is a short answer – we can’t. Here is a second short answer – we should not. Here is what I mean. In any relationship, you should never Focus on changing the other person. This is why many marriages fail.They have the right to live as they see fit and so do you. Expanding that to our global community, people have the right, so long as they are not directly harming others, to live, love and worship as they see fit. It is not on job, nor our responsibility to change them just because we do not agree with them. Just as we should not have to conform to their ways either.

If we can’t, nor should, change others, how can we change the world? Take advice from Mr. Tolstoy. We change ourselves. That is all we have complete control over. This works to change the world in 2 ways.

First, we lead by example. Parents, this especially true for you. Children may rarely listen to what you say, but they will always watch what you do. It is not just Parents that have this responsibility. We are all being watched everyday. Especially in this world of social media and everyone walking around with cameras in their pockets. Make sure your actions positively inspire others. A great question to ask yourself is, “Would I be happy if everyone acted like me?” Before you are quick to think of how great that would be, stop and consider your faults. Would we like everyone to judge and insult based on religious or political affiliation? Would we want everyone to be quick tempered? To drive without using their turn signals?

The other way changing ourselves works to change the world is even more powerful, in my opinion. That is the law of reciprocation. You may have heard it stated as “whatever you sow, you reap” or “what you do comes back to you” However you word it, what we put out into the world becomes part of the world. If we are judgemental of others, the world becomes more judgemental. If we are harsh with our words, the world becomes a colder harsher place. This is the key to positively transforming the world.

Whenever we love others, we make the world more loving. When we stand up for the repressed and abused, the world becomes less tolerant of those behaviors. Whenever we allow those we disagree with to live as they see fit, the world becomes more loving and accepting. The only way we can truly do this is one person at a time, and that person is us. The only way we can change the hearts of the masses, is to first change our own. As Leo Tolstoy said, the only way we can change the world is by changing ourselves.

MAKE YOURSELF UNFIT 🧠

I find Frederick Douglass to be one of the most remarkable individuals. After escaping slavery himself, he went on to lead many abolitionist causes. This, in itself, is not all that remarkable. What I find so impressive is his wonderful oratory and the fact he was able to use his own story to serve the cause of bringing freedom to so many. He did this by writing a total of three autobiographies. His story of slavery cast a light on the horrors suffered by so many. He was able to do all of this by educating himself. He knew one of the best ways to demonstrate the absurdity of slavery was to serve as a counterexample of the enslavers’ argument that slaves lacked the intellectual ability to function as American citizens. In doing so, he spurred more change than had he lead a violent revolt, or turned sword and pistol on those who had enslaved him. In fact, by doing so, he would have actually lent credibility to their argument.

This may strike you, as it does me, a very powerful story from our past. It is much more than that. If we think of the racism, prejudice, and division that grips our world today, Frederick Douglass gives us a course to correct many of them. That is to be the best version of ourselves that we can be. This can be accomplished through educating and improving ourselves. We all represent more than just ourselves. We represent our city, our race, our faith, our political party and a million other associations we have. Fair or not, this is how it is. When we act in a manner that is less than our best, it reflects negatively on everything we represent. This is true whether we want it to be or not. Conversely, if we educate and evolve, it reflects positively on all we represent to others.

Another amazing thing about Frederick Douglass, was his understanding of the need to engage in meaningful dialogue with those who would oppose, or even enslave us. When people asked him how he could talk to enslavers, he would answer with the quote above, “I would unite with anybody to do right and with nobody to do wrong.” When we look at the current state of politics and social reform, it would seem the modern world could take a great lesson from Mr. Douglass. How about in your life? Are you willing to work with people you may not agree with if it will result in serving the greater good? Are you willing to go along with others in your group and not stand up in opposition even if you know it is wrong?

Frederick Douglass gave us a lot of great lessons. Two of which are the power education serves in freeing an individual. This is not only true of racial suppression, but freedom from economic slavery, ideological slavery, intellectual slavery and many other conditions that will keep us from rising to become the best versions of ourselves. If you find yourself held down, held back or held up from being all that you can be, the secret is education. This does not even have to be formal education. Daily visits to the local library can transform our lives and give us the power to rise above our current circumstances.

The second lesson from Frederick Douglass was the importance of engaging in meaningful dialogue with those we may view as our opposition. If we want to accomplish anything to serve the greater good, we must work together. It is a lesson not only for our world leaders, but for us to take into our own lives. This is how we solve disputes with coworkers, angry neighbors and any other situation we find ourselves in. I encourage you to study the life of Frederick Douglass and to read his autobiographies. It will not only be a great lesson in history, but you will learn many great lessons you can apply to your own life.

THE POWER OF COMMUNITY 🛒

Last Sunday, Margie, my mother and myself attended an ownership meeting for a food co-op that we belong to. One of the themes that was stressed over and over again was a sense of community. There was mention that co-op owners made up a community of concerned citizens doing their best to help small business. That owners of that owners of that particular co-op represented a community of people concerned about access to healthy and sustainable food. It made me think how many different communities each of us belong to. There are so many.

We belong to religious communities. We belong to political communities. We belong to cultural communities. When we are at the grocery store, we belong to a community that shops at that store. In my 23 years of bartending, I noticed that was the main reason people went to corner bars. It wasn’t the delicious and healthy food served there. It wasn’t even the charming and handsome bartender, despite my attempt at believing otherwise. It was a sense of community. For many of them it was a makeshift family.

Many of our communities try to divide us and become exclusive. The first two examples on my list are really good at that. Instead of falling for that, I ask you to take a different approach. Focus on all of the communities you are a part of. As I write this, I am sitting in a coffee shop. I am part of the community of people that chose to come to this coffee shop today. In this community there are many different races, ages and genders. I would guess there are many different political beliefs as well, You know what though? We are all in this community. After this, I plan to go to the gym. Another community there. Focus on what groups you are part of. Be inclusive instead of exclusive. It would be fun for you to list some of your favorite communities you are a part of.

DON’T FALL FOR IT!🗳

Here in the United States, today is election day. For anyone who lives here, this is not a news flash. You are reminded of it anytime you pick up a newspaper, go online, look at your phone, watch television or listen to the radio. If you go home to escape the chaos, there are more reminders in your mailbox. It is not simply a reminder of the need to go vote. It is not even telling you why you should vote for a certain person and how wonderful they are. No, 95% of these ads are negative. The percentage is probably higher, but we will go with 95%. That means out of 100 political ads you see, (This can feel like it happens in one day), 95 of them will be negative. It is not just that this person would be a poor choice. Oh no, this person who is running against the candidate they want you to vote for is an evil human being. They will come at night and steal your cat. They will put salt in your Starbucks coffee. Once they win they will start the whole world ablaze just to amuse themselves. This may sound ridiculous, but it is not far from what is being put out there. Quite often, they never even mention why their candidate is a good choice, if they even mention them at all. This, ladies and gentleman, is called getting you to vote in fear.

We must ask ourselves, “What is the motive behind all of these political and personal attacks?” Who stands to gain what by having us live in fear and in anger? The million dollar question to ask yourself is this – “Who stands to gain the most by having us so divided we live in fear and hatred of each other?” Do you think it is really neighbor Bob who voted for a different party than you did? I can promise you that neighbor Bob is probably thinking the same thing of you. Here is the truth, it is neither of you. By having groups of people divided against themselves, they are often too busy to notice what is happening behind the scenes. I am not saying that you should avoid voting. Quite the contrary. I believe you can’t complain about the game unless you play. Here is what I am saying. Respect those who vote and think different of you. Watch those in office, even those you vote for. Make sure they are doing what they promised. Communicate with your neighbor. You do not have to agree with them, but you can still respect them. That is what all of these political ads want you to forget. They want to brainwash you into thinking anyone who thinks different, or who may vote different is evil.

I ask you on election day, as I do on every day, do not let other’s agendas divide us. You can disagree with someone and still respect them. If you cannot, the problem lies with you and not with them. Stay united my friends. That is where our power is.

ARE YOU RUNNING WITH THE PACK?🐺

Running in packs sure can have its advantages. Just ask wolves. Their cooperative hunting strategies have allowed them to flourish and be more successful. They same can be said for those of us working on team projects. It certainly can come in handy in our spiritual faith. When we feel that faith faltering, it can be our ‘pack’ that can lift us up. How about our friends and family? That can be an amazing pack! They can check on us and have us feeling loved and cared about. They can also be a great source to lean on when we are down.

Where packs can turn from an asset to a detriment, is when we allow the pack to do our thinking for us. This seems especially true in both politics and faith. As we described earlier, the latter can help us a great deal. I am not sure about the former, but I digress. I have seen, in my own family, people leave their own family behind for no other reason than their faith was different. It is important to be able to step back from the pack, on occasion, and think for ourselves. If your pack is asking you to believe, and act in a certain way, it is ok to question that way. It does not make you a ‘bad’ member of the pack. In fact, you could be the one to lead the pack in an entirely different direction. You can still make good use of the pack, and be able to think and act on your own.

It can certainly be tempting to allow our thoughts and actions to be influenced by the pack. It is something we must stand guard against. If your pack infers, or outright says, that people of a certain group should be avoided, or worse looked down upon, because they are different, ask yourself if that is what you truly believe. In a word that seems to be growing more divided by the day, it is our pack of humanity that must learn to work together. Just like the wolves, we will survive and be more successful if we do.

CREATE YOUR OWN NEIGHBORHOOD

One glance at the picture above and I am instantly transported to Mr. Rogers Neighborhood. As most of you who have followed me for any length of time already know, I am a big fan of that famous childhood program. I still think the self-improvement fundamentals taught on that show could apply to many adults to this very day. Do you know of anyone who could benefit from watching the episode “What to do when you are mad”? It would appear many of us have either forgotten, or could use a gentle reminder of many of the qualities that make us all good humans.

In today’s social and political climate, it is “You either agree with me or you are evil”. It would seem many of us have forgotten how to be civil to each other. Add to that, many of us do the bulk of our communicating behind a keyboard and it becomes worse. It seems without the personal accountability and responsibility of face to face communication, we do not feel constrained by manners. Social media, ironically, has made us forget how to be properly social. There are terrible acts of violence against each other in the news almost daily. Some are politically motivated, some are completely random. When I come across these items it makes me long for a neighborhood like Mr. Rogers had on his program. One of mutual respect and admiration.

Then it occurred to me. Each of us is responsible for creating this neighborhood. It is in not only teaching the fundamentals that were taught to children on Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, but even more importantly, living them. Include people who are different. Learn about them and their culture. Not with a motive to judge, but to understand and appreciate. Learn to respect those whose opinions may be different than those of your own. Learn new skills, sing songs and yes, learn what to do when you are mad. A great way might be to check out some episodes of Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood. Yes, the program was made for children, but the values are just as important, if not more, to adults of today’s world.

Many will say this is wishful thinking. They will argue how much difference can one person spreading kindness and compassion make in a world of people spreading hate and judgement. Can you imagine what a difference it would make if every ‘one person’ who was told that would have taken action? There are roughly 8 billion people on this planet. Can you imagine what it would be like if even 1 out of every 10 decided to indulge in random acts of kindness? Think of the ripple effect and how many people that would affect? Do you know where it starts? It all starts here and with you. Be that one person. Start that ripple effect. Be the change you wish to see in the world. Create your own neighborhood.

STOP FALLING FOR THIS NONSENSE!

Daily we are greeted with messages of division. Some days they seem to be downright violent in their nature. It is messages of extremes delivered by one side or another. It gives us three very false impressions. The first is that you have to choose “One side or the other” You can’t be a little of this, or a little of that. With just a few seconds of logical thought, we can realize this is not true. In today’s world, which thanks to technology is growing more mixed and smaller than ever, people are a mix of a whole bunch of different things.

That brings us to the second false claim these stories and groups are putting out there. That most people belong to one of these “2 sides”. It is if people are made to feel guilty for having feelings that can understand and see and issue from both points of view. Here is a news flash for some of you – you can agree with parts of one side of and issue and parts of another side. In fact, if you do, that is a sign of open-mindedness and critical thinking. Seldom, if ever, is an issue black and white. Despite what you hear, you do not have to be on one side of an issue or another. You can choose the space in between and not only understand, but give respect to both sides.

That brings us to the last bit of misinformation those in certain circles would like us to believe – that if you disagree with someone you have to hate them or at the very least view them as if they were the enemy. This is not only obviously untrue, but ask yourself what we stand to gain by thinking this way. By making enemies of those who could have been friends with just a little bit of compassion and understanding. Ask yourself another important question, who stands to benefit by us being divided and working against each other? It brings more stress into our lives and reduces the amount of people we can share with. So, who does benefit from us being divided?

From now on I challenge you to stop being a sheep and believing that we must remain divided. We are far more powerful when we work together. How can we accomplish this? I will give you a few examples and I would love to hear more from you. In something as simple as sports we can try this. If you meet up with friends who cheer for a different team than you do (yes this is actually allowed in life) If your team wins, be gracious enough to say “Your team played a good game.” Maybe even mention a few things that they did well and wish them better luck next time. This works a lot better than mocking them and gloating about how good your team is. If your team loses, remember it is just a game. Congratulate them on their teams victory. In that contest, they were obviously the better team. Keep in mind this is just a game. It should be a chance to gather together and not say mean or hurtful things. Once again, nobody wins in that scenario.

Politics is an area that people are really getting after each other lately. To me, this is one of the most foolish. Do you know who benefits when we label each other as “Crazy” or “Evil” because our politics differ? Those politicians that seek to push their agendas by dividing us. The problem is not that neighbor Bill voted for someone different than you and has a different view of the world. The problem is that instead of seeking a middle ground and a solution that will benefit all people, we are told we have to be divided and only one side can win. When we do this we lose. We lose friends, we lose a good amount of peace and joy in our lives. We may even have families torn apart. As a parent or teacher we would never tell children that they should call the other kids they disagree with nasty names, but that is exactly what grown adults in the political arena are doing. What do we teach children? That is ok to be different and that we all have to find ways to play nice together, This is a message that we should deliver to those in power.

Lastly, there is religion and faith. This is so important in the lives of many. Our faith can be what gets us through the toughest times. Yet, just like politicians, certain religious leaders would prefer we view those who differ in their form of worship as “The enemy” or “Sinners”. Turning people we love, or those that we see do a lot of compassionate and loving things for the world as ‘the bad guys’. In mind mind, this is nothing short of stupid. When I hear of someone who enjoys a ritual that is different than what I may do, this is what I say. “Oh, that’s cool.” It doesn’t mean my beliefs are wrong or that theirs are better or worse than mine. It is just that they have found a different way to deepen their faith which will ultimately make them a better person.

Don’t be a sheep and follow what certain members of the media and those in power are telling you. We do not have to be divided. Those who are different than us can still be right and so can we. Be a lion. Show what love and compassion can do. Show what working together we can make the world a far better place than working against each other. Realize that in your own life, love and compassion for those who differ than you can bring you more peace and less stress. Awaken the lion within you.

BE A PART OF THE NEW HOLIDAY!!

Starting now

With all of the craziness going on in the world, I am proposing a brand new holiday – UNIFICATION DAY. This holiday will be all about bringing the people of the world together.

We are all tired of this

UNIFICATION DAY should involve commitments by groups to do a better job working together for common goals. That could be different faiths setting aside the ritualistic differences and work towards common goals such as love and compassion. Reduction of violence between religions and many other common goals.

It should also include those of different political leanings. Work together for the good of the people. Help each other become more understanding. Work together to help small businesses and to educate those who may not usually have the opportunity. When we are all educated, the world benefits.

Love one another

Lastly, let there be commitment to work together as members of the human race. Let us refuse to be divided by race,economic standing, or any other issue that could divide us.

UNIFICATION DAY can be a day where we stand up to those that seek to divide us and do it with a spirit of love for one another. Host a UNIFICATION DAY party where you invite others that differ from you to celebrate, love and respect one another. Learn about a different faith. Perhaps give your time and effort to help those struggling with issues that you are grateful enough to not have in your life. If you have any ideas for ways we could celebrate UNIFICATION DAY feel free to share them in the comments below.