If you read the above statement, you will know it is true. You are here to read it. That’s not to say you haven’t been nicked and bruised by life, but you survived! You have made it through many things you thought you couldn’t. Whatever you are facing, know you can make it through!
Anyone who knows me knows that I find superstition to be a foolish endeavor. Do you really expect me to believe that because my path happens to cross that of a well-shaded feline that my day will suck? How about after a few shots of tequila, when I reach for the salt shaker and knock it over, that fortunes in my life will go south? Not likely. Now if I spilled the tequila, that’s a different story.
My problem with superstition is this – it is always negative. Some of you may ask why some of these hold true for you. Quick answer – law off attraction. What do I mean? Where we put our focus creates our reality. If an event occurs, such as accidentally walking under a ladder, we expect to have misfortune.
Even the date this post is written on, Saturday the 13th. Before you tell me that I made a mistake and it is Friday the 13th that is unlucky, let me ask you why? Have you never had anything good happen on Friday the 13th? I get paid on Fridays. I’m certainly not going to turn down a check if it is on the 13th. Again, if we expect something to go wrong on that day, we will be looking for it. Guess what? We will find it too. Because it is Friday the 13th? No. Because good and bad things happen every day.
My frustration with all of this gave me a great idea. Let us all create a positive superstition! They only have to make sense to us. Such as,”every time a blue car passes me, I’m about to meet someone friendly” or “whenever a see a star, I’ll be reminded of something to be grateful for. ”
These are no more real than the negative ones, but will at least have our minds looking for something positive instead of something negative. Using the part of our brain called the R.A.S, or reticular activating system, will prompt our subconscious mind to look for what we expect. Feel free to research the science behind it. It is the same way it works for the negative, only we are putting it to work for us instead of against us.
Next time you find yourself uttering some foolish line about bad things coming in three, stop right there and ask yourself how come good things don’t come in four or six for that matter? The truth is not in any superstition, it is in what we focus on. Let us create a positive superstition that will work to improve our lives. I want to hear yours. Be creative. What fun self-empowering superstition can we come up with?
One of the great secrets of life we seem to be losing is the ability of being truly present. There are cell phones which keep us focused on anything but what,or who, is in front of us. It is not just technology. Many people are preoccupied with fear and worry. What could go wrong? They often miss what is going right.
It is not just negative things either. I’ve seen people walking in a beautiful natural setting focused solely on how many calories they are burning, and missing the beautiful birds, trees and animals all around them. It would seem we are too busy worrying about life, looking at other people’s lives and trying to improve our own life to actually experience life.
One good way I have found to help is stay focused is kind if counter-intuitive. Pretend you are acting in the movie of your life. When an actor is playing a roll, they have to be extremely focused. They pay attention to their lines (what they are saying) but also to how they deliver them. (How they are saying what they are saying) They consider how their performance will make the audience (other people in our lives) feel.
This is also a good way to become the type of person you want to be. When we think about how that person would act talk and think to play that roll, we can adjust our behavior to fill that roll. Eventually, we become that person. Want to be a person who has good control of their emotions? How about someone who makes others feel good about themselves? Try to act as they would. Soon, you will become them.
As a bonus, you will be intensely focused on the moment. You will see the birds and the animals. You will enjoy the company of the person in front of you and not the person on the screen you are staring at.
I love this picture! Not only am I a big fan of Winnie-the-Pooh, but the quote is right on point. In a social media, look at me type world, people crave recognition for what they do. It never fails to amaze me what some will do for 15 minutes of fame.
Even kindness can come with the desire for recognition. What we must realize, is often we might not see the results of our kindness. A while ago, we discussed the butterfly effect. In a nutshell, it says that seemingly small,insignificant actions can have a ripple effect creating big outcomes.
I have heard countless stories of famous people who received an act of kindness that allowed them to display their talent. I recall a story about a Jewish couple buying a trumpet for a troubled youth. He went on to be Louis Armstrong, the famous jazz musician. His albums have brought joy to millions over generations. This never would have happened if not for that random act of kindness.
For every one story you hear like this about someone famous, there are countless stories from people who you may never hear about. Your kindness may not inspire the next jazz legend. Then again, it might. It might make someone’s day. It might help heal the pain they are hiding. It might just save their life.
Just because we do not see the payoff for our kindness, does not mean we should not give it. Our kindness always makes a difference. Give it freely.
Midweek! How are we doing on not only taking care of ourselves, but those around us? Just a quick reminder that it takes very little of your energy to be compassionate and encouraging to yourself and others. That little amount of energy can have a great impact on the quality of someone else’s day, but yours as well. As a bonus, the energy we expend is returned to us with the joy we bring to others.
What small thing do you plan on doing for those in your life? One little thing to encourage or inspire someone? Please share with the rest of us!😀
I love this quote by Leo Tolstoy. So often we are tempted to complain about the world and the state that it is in. Whether we are foolishly blaming a political party or race of people for the world’s trouble, or just venting out loud, we are missing the point. *spoiler alert* no political party, no matter how much we dislike them, gets together to figure out how to destroy the world. *spoiler alert 2* No race, culture or religion is filled with evil people whose soul focus is to destroy your way of life* These are just brainwashing techniques used to keep you in fear so your mind and emotions can be controlled.
If there is no specific “us against them” to rally against, how can we change the world? He is a short answer – we can’t. Here is a second short answer – we should not. Here is what I mean. In any relationship, you should never Focus on changing the other person. This is why many marriages fail.They have the right to live as they see fit and so do you. Expanding that to our global community, people have the right, so long as they are not directly harming others, to live, love and worship as they see fit. It is not on job, nor our responsibility to change them just because we do not agree with them. Just as we should not have to conform to their ways either.
If we can’t, nor should, change others, how can we change the world? Take advice from Mr. Tolstoy. We change ourselves. That is all we have complete control over. This works to change the world in 2 ways.
First, we lead by example. Parents, this especially true for you. Children may rarely listen to what you say, but they will always watch what you do. It is not just Parents that have this responsibility. We are all being watched everyday. Especially in this world of social media and everyone walking around with cameras in their pockets. Make sure your actions positively inspire others. A great question to ask yourself is, “Would I be happy if everyone acted like me?” Before you are quick to think of how great that would be, stop and consider your faults. Would we like everyone to judge and insult based on religious or political affiliation? Would we want everyone to be quick tempered? To drive without using their turn signals?
The other way changing ourselves works to change the world is even more powerful, in my opinion. That is the law of reciprocation. You may have heard it stated as “whatever you sow, you reap” or “what you do comes back to you” However you word it, what we put out into the world becomes part of the world. If we are judgemental of others, the world becomes more judgemental. If we are harsh with our words, the world becomes a colder harsher place. This is the key to positively transforming the world.
Whenever we love others, we make the world more loving. When we stand up for the repressed and abused, the world becomes less tolerant of those behaviors. Whenever we allow those we disagree with to live as they see fit, the world becomes more loving and accepting. The only way we can truly do this is one person at a time, and that person is us. The only way we can change the hearts of the masses, is to first change our own. As Leo Tolstoy said, the only way we can change the world is by changing ourselves.
Just a reminder that in life, on any given day, we have the option to be grateful. It doesn’t matter how bad your situation is, or how much you would like it to be different. If we choose, and it is a choice, we can find what will allow us to feel grateful.
Even while striving to improve, it is vital to keep this in mind. Feeling stuck at your job, and would really like a new one? While you look and prepare, feel grateful 🙏 for having a job. Things not going well with someone at home? As you look to improve that relationship, be grateful you have someone to work with. Even the pain of losing someone we really love can make us realize how grateful we should feel for having loved so deeply.
This weekend, find that one thing, or a many things as you can, to be grateful for. Share some with the community here if you like. Then, just relax and really feel the gratitude for them. Get lost in it. Relish it. Have a great weekend my friends! 😀
When I was young, my grandmother used to make baked chicken legs. Trays of them! All with Open Pit BBQ sauce. She passed away many years ago. Since then, I found other chicken, and sauces I enjoy. Still, there was something that the thought of that chicken that took me back to being a kid.
Fast forward to last night. I was relaxing, watching the NFL draft. Margie, the love of my life, surprised me by making… you guessed it…baked chicken legs with Open Pit BBQ sauce! She even added some Mac and cheese to complete the memory. Did it ever take me back!
It is good to enjoy a meal, do a certain activity, or go a certain place to reconnect with those good memories. A second bonus of this delicious memory was the realization, and gratitude for, the fact that I have had 2 amazing women who are great Cooks in my life. Is there a memory you can connect with? Take some time to do so today!
If you make becoming the best version of yourself your goal, you will succeed in every area of your life. Let us take a second and think of this. If we become the best version of ourselves at work, that will make us one of the best employees. Become the best version of yourself in your friendship? Who wouldn’t want to have a friend who is the best listener, best conversationalist they can be?
This leads us to the area in which this succeeds the greatest. Being our best selves in our intimate relationship will catapult that relationship to new heights! It is my first advice to anyone having relationship trouble. Work harder on yourself than even on your relationship. Why? You will be bringing your best to the person you love. This will do one of two things. It will either impress them with your effort and improvement, which is what we hope. Even if the relationship ends, you will save yourself the worst emotion. That emotion is regret. There will be no “would have” or “should have”. You will know you brought the best of yourself to the relationship. You also will be setting yourself up the best for the future.
If you are overwhelmed and wondering where to start, just start with yourself. By improving yourself, you will be improving every area of your life. This one habit will improve every area of your life!
Multi-tasking… one of the biggest lies perpetuated to the masses. We may think 60,000 thoughts a day. We can only focus on one thing at a time. Don’t believe me? Try it. You may bounce back and forth quickly, but you will still only be able to focus on the one thing.
The same thing with doing something. You may bounce back and forth between activities quickly, but you are still only doing one at any given moment. The more you spread yourself around the less you are actually putting into anything.
To conceptualize this concept, I picture a scale. You know those ones with a cup on either side. On one side would be the quantity of activities you are pursuing. On the other side, the quality you are bringing to each activity you are pursuing. It I’d an inverse relationship. Not only will you bring more quality by focusing on one activity at a time, but you will actually get more done in the long run! Next time you are tempted to multi-task,picture that scale with the 2 cups. Then ask yourself, “Am I looking to bring quality or quantity to the world?
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 