Many people shy away from the fires of life. That is to be understood. Nobody really enjoys discomfort. What you must consider is what discomfort and challenges do in our life. They provide us opportunities that comfort and ease simply cannot. You grow exponentially more during difficult times than you do when life is easy. You also display to others your true character.
Everyone can be patient, helpful and happy when the sun is shinning and all of the bills are paid. Can you still have that kindness and compassion when life is not going so well? Can you still treat others as you would want them to treat you when life is beating you down? If you can, it speaks volumes about you and your character. This is something that you could never display unless you face challenges and adversity. Next time life seems to descend into chaos, ask yourself one very important question, “How am I going to walk through this fire?” If you are really brave, you can ask a follow up question, “What will that say about me?”
Be grateful for the challenges. They help us to grow and to demonstrate to the world the strength of our character. You can dislike the challenge and still be grateful for the opportunity.
Today is one of my favorite days of the year. It is the opening day of the Wisconsin State Fair. I have loved state fair ever since I was young. In fact, I have gone every year since I was born in 1975. In 1996, as I was making my way through the self-improvement journey I was and am still on, I decided to make a change in my life. I recall standing in the center of fair park, in an are they smartly call ‘central park’, and watching the people go by. It was then a thought occurred to me. “If I am so happy every time I come here, why don’t I come here more often?” That was 1996, and I have been to every day of the Wisconsin State Fair since.
The idea behind this was simple. If I have a lot of fun on one day, wouldn’t I have 11 times that much if I went every day? So far it has proved to be so. Attending with different people, doing different things keeps it fresh and exciting. You learn where all the deals are so that you do not spend so much. Not to mention, the memories you create last a lifetime. I am sure there will be more memories created this year that will be talked about years later. Above was a fun picture that I took with my lovely Margie. Last year, my mother and I relaxed with an iced coffee listening to a band playing tropical music.
Some of the best things are events we did not even know about. Here is my mother and I celebrating the 75th birthday of Smokey Bear, who tragically may not be there this year. Still, like the tropical band, fun foods and drinks and places we have never seen, every year there is some fun surprise waiting for us. This makes the excitement leading up to the Wisconsin State Fair even more exciting. Who knows who we will run into and what we will do? Even we do not!
Whatever it is in your life, find something you love and go all out with it! People often ask me how long I will continue to go to the fair every day. Until it ceases to be fun I suppose. Until then, I am going to cherish every ounce of fun that I can out of the experience. I suggest you do the same. Find something you can look forward to every year. Maybe a fishing trip with the guys, or a shopping trip with the girls. Then again, maybe a fishing trip with the girls or a shopping trip with the guys. Whatever works! Grab some friends or a loved one and start making plans!
Here is a post I could do in this country every four years. That would be election time. In this country, there is two main political parties. There are really several others, but people do not usually bother to learn about them. In fact, when it comes to voting those who are to lead our country, there seems to not be a lot of thinking at all. More so, is picking a party and gathering facts to support the party you have picked. This is then usually used to post on social media or start disagreements with family and friends. On occasion, perhaps a complete stranger who may be foolish enough to ask our opinion on politics.
This is not only true of politics, although that serves as a great example, but in many areas of life. People accept what those in positions of authority, whether that is parents, political or religious leaders. We are like the sheep Seneca spoke of. That is not to say that many of these people are not good leaders who have our best interest at heart. We should, however, step out of the crowd and find out for ourselves. Seek a little higher ground so we can get a better view of the big picture. Learn facts from unbiased sources. Do our own independent judgement. Even more important, approach the subject and world with an open and compassionate mind.
Do not be like a sheep following the crowd. Instead use your head to think and develop opinions that are your own. Most of the people you are following have little or no knowledge of your own personal situation. Remember to approach life with an open and compassionate mind. Others can hold different opinions and still be right. What is right for them and their situation can be different than what is right for us.
Who hasn’t had the occasional stray thought? If we are to believe what science tells us, that would be nobody. It is said that we have roughly 60,000 thoughts a day and that roughly 80% of them are negative. Both of those numbers really depend on the person. I know several people who manage to maintain a positive disposition in the face of the most challenging odds. I also know people who somehow manage to keep the number of thoughts they have well below the 60,000 mark. Some I wonder if they ever get to the double digits. Most of us fall into the numbers that science puts out.
It may be next to impossible to fight off the arrival of negative thoughts. Doing so can often make them push harder to arrive. What are we to do? Adjust how we view negative thoughts. We can ask ourselves what these thoughts may be trying to teach us. We can ask ourselves why we are reacting so negatively to them. There are a million lessons we can learn from our negative thoughts. It can also be helpful to turn it into a game of sorts. Noticing and adjusting to negative thoughts can be a challenge, but it does not have to be a negative one. Start timing how long it takes you to overcome a negative thought. Start keeping track of the time between negative thoughts and see if you can’t go just a little bit longer next time. When you do, celebrate!
Negative thoughts are a part of life and they can serve a good purpose. Let us put them to use for us. Have fun with the journey. Be calm in the knowledge that your life is improving with each positive thought you have. Let us know any tools and strategies you have for dealing with negative thoughts.
Mr. Emerson uses a great term, in my opinion. It is a ‘vulgar mistake’ when we confuse being contradicted with being persecuted. There are far too many people who perceive any difference of opinion as a personal attack on them. This is simply not so. We can differ, and others can differ with us, without it being an attack. This can be hard to keep straight emotionally when we are in the heat of the situation. It may be good to practice asking the question, “Is this person just expressing a difference of opinion, or are they personally attacking me?” If I were to guess, 90% of the time the answer would be the former.
How about in your life? Do you have people who every time you disagree with them they perceive it as a personal attack? You might work on a gentle way to remind them that you are not attacking them, you are just disagreeing with them. How about yourself? Have you been guilty of this in the past? Start asking yourself the question now.
This is another one of those big secrets to an amazing life. Old Willy Shakespeare hit this one on the head. The happiest people in life, and often the most productive, have a great way of looking at their world. They see the opportunity in every challenge. The realists of the world will be quick to point out that this will not change the situation. I beg to differ. It may not change the past, and the circumstances leading up to the current situation. It will, however, change the present and the future. How you view circumstances will dictate the actions you take in the face of any situation. If you leave this up to chance, you are doing the same with your life.
It is all too easy to view certain events as good and view others as bad. That would mean sometimes you feel good, sometimes you feel bad. What happens when you can view everything through the lens of gratitude and hope? Your life becomes more enjoyable. You lose less time to melancholy. You are more likely to take advantage of the opportunities hidden in challenges.
One of the greatest examples I have heard of in recent times is Inky Johnson. He was an athlete ready to turn professional and bring his family out of generations of poverty. Right before this was going to happen, he suffered a career-ending injury. This is bad right? When asked if he could go back in time and undo that tackle that ended his hopes, he is quick to say he would not. Why would someone not want to undo an injury that not only cost him and his family millions of dollars, but altered his life completely? Simple, through that his father was able to come to spiritual enlightenment. He was able to serve as an example to members of his faith and inspire countless others. None of this would have happened if he had become a professional athlete. While the injury was certainly a very trying turn of events in his life, he views it as a blessing.
How about you? Are there situations in your life that you view as terrible? I am sure there are in all of our lives. The challenge is to find the good in those. This is not denying the challenge, but choosing to see the opportunity in it. It will not change the past or what occurred, but will change the feeling in the present and the trajectory of the future. How you think of and view the world makes all of the difference.
As you begin to read this blog, look at the battery indicator on your cell phone. How much do you have left? In my case, as I write this I have 94%. That is pretty good since the plug doesn’t want to stay in the charger anymore. That is a story for a different day. The neat thing is, it lets you know how much energy your device has left. As it starts to get low, it even changes colors from green to yellow, and finally to red. Same with the gas tank in your car. The closer the needle moves to ‘E’ the less energy you have left. This knowledge comes in handy. We know when we have to charge our phones, or fill the tank in our car.
As the cell phone battery symbol gets lower and the needle gets closer to empty on our cars, we know time is running short. You would think this would mean that nobody would ever run out of a charge or out of gas. You and I both know that is not so. There are people who are constantly doing one or the other. Sometimes even both! Not sure if they are bad at estimating how much time they have left, or just not very observant. Either way, there are people who seem to be having these problems often. You know the type.
If you find yourself with an almost dead battery on your phone, are you going to call up your friend just to chat? Probably not. Are you going to watch silly cat videos? I would guess not until you are near a charger. Same with a low gas tank. Are you going to drive around the block or take the scenic route to your destination? No. You are going to think of ways to save on gas until you find yourself at the pump. What on earth does any of this have to do with self-improvement and how can you use this to improve your life? Let us look.
How many times have we heard someone say, “I am running out of gas.” or “My battery is dead.” They are not talking about their car or phone. No, they are talking about their own energy level. There are far more of them than the people who run out of gas in the middle of the freeway. We don’t have gages on our bodies that show how much energy we have left. We just need to pay attention to their warnings. Just like a cell phone will start to slow down as the battery gets weak, so does our performance start to slip as our energy falter. We need self-care as much as a phone needs a charger, or a car needs a gas pump.
This could be a nap, a quick meditation or a day of pampering. One of the best ways is to conserve your energy as it starts to slip. Worrying about your neighbors business, world politics or arguing about sports is as productive as taking a scenic route when your gas tank is almost empty. Learning not to bother with what doesn’t matter, especially when our energy is low, can save us from having a dead battery of our own. Practicing good self-care can make sure it is charged and we can be productive and of value to others.
No, this is not a post about a healthy diet and working out several times a week. Although that can certainly help you do more of the above. No, it is a reminder that you must get out and live! Do not save your energy and time for a date in the future to enjoy life. Here is the thing about the future – we lease it. The tricky part is that we never know when that lease is up. If there is something that makes you feel alive, the time to do it is now. If there is someone you love, tell them now. You might not get a chance tomorrow.
Being scared of making mistakes or of looking foolish is no reason not to do something that makes you feel alive and happy. To really feel alive will often require us to make some mistakes. Just know that you are learning and growing. It is just a lesson. It will help you have even more fun, and get more juice out of life, the next time you do it. Live today my friends! It is the only way to postpone death.
I do not believe Mr. Whitman is advocating staring at the fiery ball in the sky. Not only would that be extremely bad for your vision, it would not end with an amazing life. What we are talking about here is something that we could all use a reminder of. That is staying focused on the positive outcome of the situation that you are facing. That is to say, the goal accomplished. When you do this, the challenges and obstacles, or shadows in this example, do fall behind you. They are still there, but you are not letting them overwhelm you.
What happens when we turn our back from the sun, or the forget to focus on the positive outcome of our situation? We end up looking at the shadows. This is just like the people who are constantly focused on everything that could go wrong. When you turn away from the light and stare at the shadows, the world appears to be a very dark place. If, however, you turn around and focus on the light, it seems like a much more enjoyable world. For all of you ‘realists’ out there, let me point out that the world itself has not changed. There is still light and shadows. What difference does it make what we focus on then? How life feels to us is the difference. If you asked someone if they would want to go through life feeling overwhelmed, depressed and negative, or would you want to feel happy, hopeful and positive? I am sure most of you would answer the second option. The tricky part is that our minds are naturally designed to focus on the negative. How can we overcome that?
There is only one way to do that. Work on our perception about the world. Most people spend a good amount of time and energy trying to control outside circumstances. I equate this to not liking what you see in the mirror and trying to change the image without changing the person looking into it. When we focus on ourselves, what we see in the world, just like what we see in the mirror, will change.
There are a couple of very useful tools that can help you improve your outlook. One of them, and in my opinion the most powerful, is gratitude. Finding things to be grateful for can do so many amazing things for you. It certainly can help you see more of the sun and less of the shadows. It can always be worse, and there is always something to be grateful for. Another is visualizing the best outcome. Spending just five minutes a day visualizing how you would want a situation to turn out as not only helps you gain clarity on what you want, but it also helps fill your subconscious mind with the solution.
Start doing your best to keep looking at the sun and leaving the shadows behind you. Use the tools and strategies we discussed here. What do you do to help keep a sunny disposition in a world all too often filled with shadows? Put your answers in the comments and let us all help each other!
These are the two jobs we all have. Our lives should be dedicated to improving ourselves, and to contribute to the happiness of others, which you are doing just by getting the information here on this site. We give you the tools and strategies to accomplish both of these. Here is another amazing secret, by doing either of these, you are closer to accomplishing the other. Let us take a look at what we mean.
First is improving our lives. It is important to keep moving ahead. Why? The reason is that nothing stays stagnant. We are either moving ahead, or falling behind. This is true in any area of our life. Fitness for example. If we get in shape and think to ourselves, “I am in shape. Now I can stop exercising and just eat pizza and ice cream all day.” I am sure you can imagine what would happen. Another are which people constantly need reminding of is relationships. We somehow believe if we court someone, marry them and maybe even start a family, that we have this area of our life ‘handled’. Much like physical fitness, the fitness of your relationship will start to decline if you do not constantly work on that. The only way to improve your relationship, is to improve yourself. Learn to become more romantic. Learn to be a better listener. This holds true for every area of our life. Career, spirituality, and education. Obviously, the better of a person we become, the more we are able to serve others. We can see how that would help contribute to their happiness.
Speaking of contributing to other’s happiness, how does that help improve us? By finding ways in which we can add more happiness to the lives of others, we often have to learn, or at least practice, certain skills. This will only help us level up in our own lives. At the very least, we are able to practice our own interpersonal skills. That is how to relate to others. Especially in a world where far too much of our relationships are online, this is a skill that could use some polishing.
There you have it. Two jobs that compliment and help feed each other. If we focused exclusively on these two tasks, our world would improve exponentially. Do yourself a favor and ask if the action you are about to take would either help improve you, or add happiness to the life of another. If not, is it a good use of your energy?
SECRET 2 AN AMAZING LIFE 