Tag: Neil Panoisan

LET’S START TODAY!

Here is another great secret of success that is simple, and easy to apply. Start now. Quite often we hear friends say, or even say ourselves, “Starting ____ I will ____.” Fill in the blanks with words of your choice. Starting Monday, perhaps on your next birthday, in the new year, or the worst day, ‘tomorrow’, which never quite seems to get here. Whether your goal is to get in shape, start your own business, improve your attitude or any other worthwhile ideal, the best place to start is right where you are, the best time to start is now.

When someone is able to put off beginning to work on their goal it is a sign they very well might have a weak ‘why’. Those with a burning desire to start something new often cannot wait to get started. This could possibly be your first step, increase your desire, or strengthen your why. I have written several posts on how to do this, but to recap in brief, you can look up information such as how quickly you will notice results if you take back control of your life from cigarettes, or what everyday out of shape is costing you. Recently, a few of my friends have begun lives of sobriety. Everyday is a challenge for them, but getting to a point of enough is enough have propelled them to get on track so that they are determined to succeed. Even if they slip, they have such strong whys that they will not be stopped.

How about you? What goal have you been putting off? Perhaps you believe you do not have the necessary resources to begin? I heard Tony Robbins say once, “It is not a lack of resources that is the problem, but a lack of resourcefulness.” If you are passionate enough about your goal you can find a way to get the money, people or whatever resource you need. Just watch a young child who is saving up for a trip to the toy store. They will do extra chores, start a lemonade stand and whatever else they need to do. With the internet, we can connect with people and resources around the world. With public libraries we all can have free access to the internet.

What can you begin to do? Work on coming up with a name for your new business. Start to create the perfect logo. Watch YouTube videos on healthy eating. Taking action is one of the most powerful things you can do to improve your life. By doing so, you begin to recruit and harness another power available to you – momentum. If you begin by incorporating one healthy snack into your day, or going to the gym once a week you can build on that. Once you start on the path to your goal you build excitement as well. You can begin to see it start to take shape.

What if you take an action and fail? People put way to much importance on failure. Failure itself is nothing but a learning experience. The sooner you fail, the sooner you can learn. The only way to never fail, is to never try. In which case your life will be a failure. The only way to make sure your life is not a failure is to never give up. So start today. Do what you can with what you got and soon you will find your life is so far beyond what you expected. It will never get there if you don’t begin.

HOW FULL IS YOUR GLASS?

I’m going to put forth to you, good reader, the age old question – is the glass half full or half empty? As I’m sure most of you can guess my answer is closer to the full side. Your answer to this question is supposed to reflect your overall outlook on life.

Did you ever wonder why they never follow this up with three quarters full or a quarter empty? How about three-eighths verses five-eighths? Would that make you slightly less negative or more positive? I don’t suppose it really matters.

This question is a matter of perspective. It is a reflection of whether you are grateful for what you have or upset about what you don’t have.

My pessimistic friends, or the glass half empty folks, as well as some of my friends that call themselves “realists” will make sure to point out either opinion does not change the reality of the situation. Whether you are happy or sad, the glass still contains half the liquid it could.

If you stop and think of it, that is the beauty of the truth. All of our lives are like that glass, they are not as full as they could be. We have lots to be grateful for, as well as lots to be upset about. There are challenges we get that are just unfair, but if we are perfectly honestly with ourselves, we all have breaks of good fortune that are more than we deserve.

What is the point here? Who is right? The point is this, our lives, much like the glass are both half full and half empty. By virtue of that assessment, both the optimists and the pessimists are right.

Before you think you have just read all of this for nothing let us look at the major difference, one feels good most of the time and one feels bad. Stop and read that again. If both having a cheerful and expectant attitude will mean your life will have its ups and downs, and have a bitter and sour disposition will mean your life will have its ups and downs the only difference is how you feel when you are here.

The only sure thing I know about life, is that you don’t get out alive, so why not enjoy it as much as we can while we are here? One more glaring reason to see the glass half full will be offered next post. Now while I was busy pondering whether the glass was half-full or half -empty, I believe Margie drank my rum.

MY RETURN

A week ago I had posted on my personal Facebook page that I had planned to quit writing. Also my Secret2anamazinglife Facebook page was removed as was Neil Panosian author. (They have since returned and if you would like to remain fully informed about all the latest tools to change your life, I highly recommend you like them) The reason I did this was because it appeared to me there was a lack of interest in these posts that I put out. The purpose I have chosen for my life is to leave a legacy of changing the world for the better, helping people see the beauty in themselves, others and the world around them. I also enjoy showing people how to reduce their stress, increase their joy and become the best versions of themselves.

It was with this intent I began my blog, YouTube channel (Neil Panosian) and Facebook pages. When I was not seeing any interaction it felt as though nobody was reading them. Far from being a “Whoa is me, nobody is reading my stuff” decision, it was more “If nobody is reading my writing, then I am not reaching anyone and certainly not helping anyone” If the energy I spend creating and marketing these posts, which is more than you can imagine, was not helping bring light and love to my brothers and sisters around the world than perhaps that energy and time would be better spent elsewhere. Perhaps although writing is my passion, my way of serving humanity could be found elsewhere.

Allow me to fill you in with a timeline of sorts that followed. First there was the blank stare I received from Margie. When I informed her of my actions and my decision she reacted with what can only describe as stoic and dismissive demeanor. Not sure that she had grasped the gravity of the fact I had just changed my life purpose I repeated the list of actions I had just taken. With a look of a parent who knows there child just did something really stupid, but is far to sweet to say so, she wrapped her arms around me, pulled me close and said in a way only Margie can, “I heard you baby, but I know you will be back and people won’t let you stop. You reach far more people than you know.” The rest of the night we talked. Ok, I talked and she fought to stay awake as it was about 4 o’clock in the morning. (still think being in a relationship with a driven creative person sounds fun?)

The following morning Margie woke me up with a shower of kisses and shouted with glee, “Get up baby it’s like Christmas with all of the comments!” Still feeling the sort of ambivalence of one who has just decided to change their life’s purpose, but not wanting to disappoint the woman who had been so loving and patient only a few hours before, I decided to pull myself into a vertical position. That is really all I did. My expression was blank, my mind the same. Let me pause here and set the scene a little for you. Margie is one of those rare women who can simply rise about of bed, smile and just capture you heart with her amazing beauty. Add the fact she is excited about something and she can be impossible to resist. Even the days I build the tallest walls around my heart she can melt them with a smile and her love. As I was running late for my day job at the Post Office I promised her to look at the comments as soon as I was able.

Lucky for me I chose a time when I was alone in my car to look at those very comments. Lucky for me as well I chose to do so while parked. They brought tears to my eyes. Not only was every single one encouraging, but to know that I was indeed touching people’s lives and making a positive impact was nothing short of overwhelming. It took far longer to compose myself and begin to regain rational thought, or at least as close as I ever get to that. I cannot express enough Gratitude to those who took time to express their views and to let me know they did appreciate what I did and that it did make a difference. The messages I also received were so touching and personal it began to open up the possibility of picking up the pen again.

A few other things have happened since then as well. At my day job people got wind I had changed my mind about writing and greeted me with such responses as “No you haven’t. I refuse to believe it.” to the more friendly “I’m sorry boss I just can’t let you do that.” If you know how rare anything encouraging is said out loud between workers at a Postal Facility this would be even more impressive. Then as I was on my way home an amazing young lady at a red light rolled down her window and uttered the encouraging phrase “you better put your s$%t back on Facebook.” The decision had been made – I would return to writing. Some authors dream of being recognized on every corner due to the fact there book is on the best seller list. Personally I would not mind being in that position. More importantly to me would be to be recognized on every corner because I had made a difference in so many lives.

Knowing that I make a difference and do reach and touch people’s lives has made me more excited to write than I have been in the last 5 years. There will be some changes going forward including tagging different people in posts (If you would like to be feel free to let me know) as well as doing more video blogs and more work on the second book.

In closing, once again I cannot express my gratitude to everyone who encouraged me to keep writing. My beautiful Margie for disagreeing with my decision because she believed in me and my mission more than I did. Not to mention for looking so beautiful from the time she wakes up until the time she closes her eyes to sleep. You are my muse and the love of my life.

 

QUICK! DO IT NOW!

One of the greatest challenges about showing people how to reduce their stress and increase their joy is convincing them of the importance of doing it now. After all, if your life is fairly happy why would you worry about techniques to handle stressful situations? You have enough on your plate with your job, the kids and figuring out if your favorite show is on Netflix. You will worry about it when life becomes stressful. The analogy I often use in my seminar is this, when would the best time to learn to swim be? While you are safe on the shore or when you are in the middle of the ocean in a boat that is sinking? When you are on shore it may seem silly to worry about swimming, but trying to learn as sharks are grabbing bottles of meat tenderizer is not ideal in anyway.

This became very apparent to me this past week. A lady I had been in a relationship with for 20 years, and then remained friends with for 4 years after passed away after losing her battle with cancer. It was a very hard and trying moment for me. Lots of feelings came up that were not fun, regret, sadness, frustration and lots of other not so pleasant emotions. All of this is natural and certainly ok to feel when someone passes away. Thankfully, I am blessed to be in a relationship with a lady who really knows and cares about me. Not only was she supportive, but gently reminded me of everything I have learned, teach and believe. The tools I have learned and developed that help the spirit stay resilient and to help heal sadness.

Before we continue, allow me to share a few of them with all of you as someone may be going through the same thing, and most certainly we all will at some point in time. When someone passes away we are all left with the question as to how to carry on their memory in both our hearts and the world around us. Personally, I have never been a fan of sorrowful days of mourning or candlelight vigils. Not that there is anything wrong with those, but I believe the best way to honor someone who has passed away is to try and rekindle some of the light the world has lost with their passing. Did they have a good sense of humor? Work on sharing yours a little more. Did they love animals? Maybe you can contribute to an animal charity?

I am grateful for two things in this very trying time. First, that I have a loving and wonderful lady in my life who can walk the fine line of being supportive and reminding me to use what I know to help myself as well as others. Second, that I have spent the last two decades learning and developing techniques to help keep a positive outlook in the face of trying times. If I had waited until after the funeral to try to discover ways to help me heal, I would be swimming with the sharks.

I encourage you to learn now. You never know when life will give you something major to deal with. Losing someone close to you, losing a job, or maybe even a relationship ending. If at that time you already have some tools in place, recovering from those situations will be a little less painful. There is always a sense of loss and sadness, and that is certainly more than ok. It means you cared for that relationship, job or the person who passed away. We must learn how to not only heal ourselves, but help others to do the same. I encourage you to start now. Feel free to click on the link below to order my book A Happy Life for Busy People, read the posts featured on this site or take other steps to learn effective ways to reduce stress, increase joy and become the best version of yourself. Love and light to all of those struggling.

CLICK HERE TO ORDER YOUR COPY OF MY BOOK

WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED IN VEGAS??

It is a little past noon as I write this. I’m sitting in Urban Joe’s, a quaint coffee shop in West Allis, Wisconsin where I live. Curtis, a very charming and congenial young man is working with his wife Danielle. It would seem to be the prefect Monday, with one exception – Las Vegas.

Last night was the deadliest shooting in US history. 58 innocent people lost their lives. People on the television as well as in the coffee shop are musing as to what the motive may be and how could this even happen. Questions you may be asking yourself.

Routinely I am asked if the world seems to be getting worse. We hear about terror attacks across the globe and right next door. The level of divide between people seems to be growing.

To me the answer is both ‘yes’ and ‘no’. I believe, sadly, this sort of violence has been around nearly as long as mankind has. If we review the pages of history we can easily find examples of that. What has changed is the ‘closeness’ of the world. We can hear what happened across the globe seconds after it has transpired. We also hear about every incident. News that used to be relegated to the town it occurred in can now be viewed online by someone half way around the world.

There are two things I would like point out at this time. First is not to give in to the going of fear being pushed on us by the media. Let us not start treating each other with harshness based on judgements we have come to from world events. When we hear about certain groups of people perpetrating crimes it is easy to fall victim to the temptations to pass that judgement on to others who may belong to that group. The only way for us to overcome the social challenges that face us is through treating each other with love, respect and compassion. An “eye for an eye” mentality can only lead us to a blind world.

While we are on the subject of solutions, let us explore how we can help ourselves not feel overwhelmed by all the negative news we are exposed to. This is something I first wrote about in 2012 and several times sense. I refer to a story shared by one of my favorite philosophers, Mr. Fred Rodgers. He once shared a story of asking his mom about the negative news on the television. His mom gave him advice I think we could all use today. She told him, quite simply, “Look for the helpers.”

In the wake up both this tragic event, the recent hurricanes and earthquakes we have seen a flood of people rushing to help from across countries, to across the globe. These heroic efforts can get lost in the deluge of reporting on the Loss of property, lives and love for our fellow humanity. I encourage you to dig deep and read a few of these. See even in the darkest hours of humanity there are always beacons of light. Stay in love and light my friends.

THIS IS SOME BULLS*$T

Do me a favor, take out your cell phone and look up the definition of success. Go ahead, I’ll wait. Chances are it would look something like this. When it comes to the definition of success these defintions are, in a word, WRONG!!!

We live in a world that defines success in terms of the visceral if not material means. Any defintion of success, including the one by my mentor Earl Nightingale, that does not include enjoying the process or life is incomplete.

If we achieve all our goals and lose the love of family and friends we would not feel successful. If we are rich, but full of mental anguish would we be a success? I do not think so.

Remember that success is indeed “The progressive realization of a worthy ideal” as Mr. Nightingale said, but we must remember to find our happiness along the way as well.

WILL YOU LET IT SURVIVE?

This is one of this quotes I read and immediately had to step back take a breath and say “damn, this is a good one!” (This actually really happened)

Have you ever thought about this? Fear is an inside job. When you are young you are afraid of the dark. This usually passes unless you are some politicians, in which case it becomes being afraid of the light.

Why did this change? Something inside of you decided the dark was not that scary. Sure, you had influences from your parents and others assuring you that there was nothing to worry about, but ultimately you have to make that call.

Does this only hold true for children? Not at all. In fact, as a rule children are better at overcoming their fears than adults. Some of are afraid of dying, some public speaking still others are afraid of not being loved. Others say “when my time comes I’ll be ready. ” Some people can talk to anyone. I have heard people say, “If people don’t love me that is their loss.”

The difference is the meaning and inner conversation people have with themselves. In order for fear to continue to exist, we must continue to feed it. We do so by finding examples that back up our fears (in my case John Wayne Gacy was a clown) or continue to play mental movies in our head of worse case scenarios.

What it boils down to is that without our active participation, our fears simply could not exist.

WE ARE LIVING MIRACLES

This is my friend Kyle and his girlfriend Jamie. Today is Kyle’s birthday. That is not the only reason I bring him to your attention today. Today is a day he will be celebrated by family and friends. They will celebrate his birth, his coming into this world. He will be the one receiving the material gifts, but the simple fact he is being thought of by so many others speaks to the fact of what a gift his life has been to them.

One of Kyle’s best traits is his humility. He may not think his life makes a great deal of difference in the grand scheme of the world. This is like many of us. We often fail to understand how the simple positive things we do affect the lives of others. Kyle, is a prime example. He is a barista at the local coffee shop I often write at. There are quite a few others that work with Kyle, but none that have his positive outlook and demeanor. His compassion for, and attitude towards his customers is second to none.

Being a friendly barista may not seem like something that can change the world, and I know Kyle may not think so, but to me, nothing is further from the truth. What we never know is the story of the people in front of us. Even close friends may not share everything that is on their mind or in their hearts. Imagine a complete stranger in a coffee shop.

How much is a positive word worth to you? How much would a smile affect you if you were having a bad day? They are priceless. You cannot buy genuine caring no matter how much money you have. Kyle gives this freely. He genuinely cares about his fellow man. In the course of career I cannot begin to imagine how many smiles he has brought to the faces of his customers and how much joy he has put in the hearts of those he has met. It would not surprise me if he has directly, or indirectly saved the lives of people who may have came in feeling their lives did not matter. He did all of this by simply being himself.

To be sure Kyle has days when he does not live up to his own expectations, as we all do. I had the honor of interviewing him and Jamie for an upcoming book of mine and learned that one of the reasons they are perfect for each other, is they realize each other is not perfect. The next time Kyle is feeling down, or does something to disappoint himself or others I hope he remembers what a gift his life is and how many miracles he has created simply by sharing the love he has for his fellow man.

Yes, today is Kyle’s birthday and we are celebrating his birth and life, but we only do so because of the difference it has made in our lives. I want to take a second to wish this fine example of a human being the happiest of birthdays followed by many more.

I encourage all of you to tag someone in this post that you feel creates miracles in the lives of others. Let them know what a difference they make.

1 MORE THING WRONG

Here is what inspired me today, while going down the demilitarized zone that is 60th street the exhaust on my car broke off – I laughed.

While you may all question my sanity, something I have grown used to, let me explain. After 8 terrible months with this PT cruiser, I start driving my new vehicle tomorrow. So, one last thing going wrong was almost comical at this point.

Here is the inspiring point, 2 weeks ago i would not have laughed at all about this. In fact, I probably would have selected vocabulary not fit to print here. The ironic thing is we all can choose our reactions. Sure, it is easier when you have a car ready to take its place, but I still could have responded with more frustration. It just reminds me how much control I have in how I react, and thus, how I feel

DON’T LET THE SAME DOG BITE YOU TWICE

One of my favorite quotes to help keep peace in your mind and heart comes from Buddha, who said “holding onto anger is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.”

Forgiveness truly is the gift you give yourself. Most of the time when we stay angry at people it only affects us. Think of what happens to your body when you get angry. Your blood pressure rises, you can get sick to the stomach among many other unpleasant symptoms. Imagine what would happen if we did this over a prolonged period of time. Not only would it drain our spirit and soul, but it would make us actually physically sick.

Here is the caveat about forgiving someone, it does not mean they need to be your best friend. There are some people who are destructive and surrounding yourself with them will only bring you down. I compare it to continuing to try and pet a dog you know will bite you. Unless the dog goes through some training, it will likely bite you again. Forgive the dog for biting you and then do your best to keep your distance from the dog.

Starting today, let go of anger and practice forgiveness. It does not mean you agree with their behaviour. It also does not mean you have to let them back into your life. It only means you value yourself enough to let go of negative emotions that will bring you down emotionally, spiritually and physically.