Tag: Neil Panoisan

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 8 – BOOKS!

As an author, this could be my favorite day of gratitude so far! Books are such an underrated resource! People often put 5 or 10 years of experience and lessons in books that you can read in a few hours to a few days. Some great stories are a world that you can escape to when reality gets to be a bit too much. All that for less than a dinner out. Books are great gifts as well as great legacies. Can you think of your favorite book? I will give you a few of mine and you can share yours with me as well.

Let us start with my favorite book of all time. How to Win Friends and Influence People changed millions of lives including my own. It helped me develop my people skills which have propelled me to most of the success that I have experienced in life. It also fostered an interest in the world of self-improvement and becoming the best version of yourself in me. Although it is still a work in progress, it would be fairly safe to say that it has been impactful so far!

My first book, A Happy Life for Busy People. This book showed me what I was capable of accomplishing when I stayed focused. After it was written, I recalled my high school English teacher telling me that she “Prayed to God I would never have a career in writing.” To her credit, at the time I would have agreed with her. Still, the point is that you should never let someone’s opinion of you become your reality. Unless, of course, it is a good one. Most importantly this book showed me that by sharing my experiences and what I have learned that I can positively impact the lives of others. It is now owned not only by rock stars, movie stars and billionaires, but by countless people across the globe who are in pursuit of a better life for themselves and those they love. What an incredible blessing and responsibility all at once!

My second book, Living the Dream, allowed me to feel like an author verses someone who wrote a book. The difference was quite a bit. It also allowed me to work together with the love of my life who wrote the foreword. In addition, I was able to bring to light some of the challenging, but inspiring stories of dear friends who have overcame challenges and went on to demonstrate many secrets to an amazing life. That these people trusted me enough to share their stories in my book for the benefit of inspiring and giving others hope was life-changing. It has went on to become my most critically acclaimed book as well.

This book is also one of my favorites and one of the most entertaining I have ever had the pleasure of reading. It is the story of the author, Bill Bryson, and his childhood friend walking the Appalachian trail and the adventures that ensue. Not only does it share a good story with lots of humor, but conveys a good deal of knowledge as well. It also sparks an urge for adventure every time that I read it. Margie may tell you that this may not exactly be something to be grateful for. It is hard to read a book like this and not want to go for a walk after. The movie made from this book was good too, but getting lost in the book was a far better experience.

This may have been a bit more than you expected to read here, but as you can see there are lots of books that I am grateful for. These are just four examples, but there are so many more that have both impacted and changed my life. It would seem each year brings a new book and a new chapter of life to be discovered. How about you? Has there been something you have read that has impacted your life that you are grateful for? Share with all of us in the comments. We all are on the lookout for great new books to read.

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 7 – MEMORIES

Day 7 on our 30 day journey of gratitude. Today we look back. We are going to talk about what memories that we are grateful for. It is important not to live in the past, but the right memories can feed our soul in tough times. They can also motivate us to recapture or create the next memory that we will be grateful for in the future. When you are asked what your favorite memory is, what is the first thing that pops into your mind? I will share a few of mine, including one that may surprise you. Then, I would love to hear what memories are your favorite in the comments.

Some of my favorite memories include times that I have made people’s dreams come true. I recall taking Margie to see her first palm tree in Las Vegas. She was so excited. Sadly, I could not find that picture. She always wanted to go to Jamaica and I was excited to make that happen for her as well. This was a picture from our trip to the Bahamas. We did so many things on that trip. She even held a shark! Vacations can be a very fun source of memories. So can doing something you know will turn into a memory. My mother and I visited our local museum that will be closing soon. We made sure to take in as much as we could. It was both fun and exciting. Although the prospect of never experiencing some of what we were ever again was a little bittersweet.

Here is something you might not consider being grateful for. I am grateful for memories of my mistakes. Why on earth would you be grateful for memories of your own mistakes? In my case the pain some of those memories still inflict are some of the greatest motivation to not make those same mistakes again. This has helped me in my health, my inner peace, my relationships and my career. Sometimes remembering how much hurt you felt when you made a mistake is the only motivation you need to not repeat the blunder.

How about you? What are some of your favorite memories? Are they fun memories or can you see the value in being grateful for some of the more painful memories as well? Please share with us in the comment below.

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 6 – NATURE

If we had a guest author for the blog today, it should be my mother. In an effort to keep this streak going, you are stuck with me, however. Both my mother and I love walking in nature. Mine is more reserved for when the temperature is higher than my age. Even if you live in a city where nature is scarce, you can escape to a park or even a tree-lined street. Nature can be found in some of the most interesting places. This was brought to my attention while reading a book by Tom Brown Jr. Whether you are in a national forest, or the park down the street, what in nature are you grateful for?

Living in more of a city environment, I am always excited to see some of nature’s bigger offerings. They tend to be a little more rare and thus, a little more exciting to see. Above you can see a picture I took of Margie taking a picture of a deer that strolled alongside our car. The other day, on my way to the gym, a coyote crossed in front of me. Animals that are not very common are ones that I am most grateful for. When my mother and I walk through the park, we are always on the lookout for new birds and other animals we do not normally see. This can be fun and make the walk that much more exciting.

It does not always have to be a large animal. The first flowers of spring are something that I am always grateful to see in nature. It gives me hope that warmer weather is on the way and I can look forward to longer days and more sunshine. We discussed how much I enjoy waking to the sound of birds chirping in the morning. Crickets chirping at night while I sit on the porch with Margie and a cup of coffee is rather relaxing. Do any of these resonate with you or are there other things in nature that you are grateful for? Is it the warmth of the sunshine or the refreshing rain? Nature offers us so much to be grateful for, I would love to hear what you think in the comments.

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 5 – SOUND!

Welcome to day 5 of our 30 days of gratitude! Today we approach another one of the five senses. We looked at smell earlier in the week. Today we are looking at what sounds we are grateful for. Do you have a certain sound that calms you down? Perhaps one that energizes you? In my first and second books, I took about creating a ‘happy playlist’. This is a collection of songs that help to improve your emotional well-being simply by pushing play. It may not solve your problems, but it will put you in a better state to deal with them. Sounds are not just music as we will see. Let us take a look at some of the sounds I am grateful for, and hopefully you will add yours as well.

Many of you already know that I leave for work around 4am. If you didn’t, well now you do. This time of year it is pretty cold and quite. In another month or so, I will be greeted with the sound of birds chirping away. It reminds me that warmer weather is on the way and that there are creatures who are happy to be up at that hour. Generally speaking, I am not chirping, but you never know what could happen. When my lady and I are on vacation down in the tropics, you can hear all kinds of wonderful birds. When you sit out on your balcony late at night the sound is almost magical. Birds chirping are one of my favorite sounds.

Another beautiful sound is voices of those you love. In my life that could be the love of my life singing. The voices of those who come support us at shows or book signings. The laughter of friends when you are together or even the conversation when your mother and you go on a walking adventure. Hearing the voices of people you care about is such a blessing. It can be one that is fleeting as well. As we get older, many of us lose a little bit of that hearing. It makes what we do hear something to be that much more grateful for.

How about you? Are there sounds that you are grateful for? What are they? It could be your dog panting or your cat purring. It could be your child calling you mommy or daddy. There are a million sounds in the world today that we could be grateful for. The sound of a phone call or message from someone you love. What are yours? Let us know in the comments below.

30 DAYS OF GRATITUDE DAY 3 – COLORS!

Day 3 of our gratitude celebration. We have had some fun so far. If you would like to go back and read the first 2 days, you are certainly welcome to do so. If you would rather just start from today, that is cool too. Gratitude is great whenever you put it into your life. The object of this 30 day dive into the world of gratitude is to get you to think of, and notice for the first time perhaps, things in your life that you have to be grateful for. After 30 days, you will find yourself developing a new mindset of gratitude. The effect this will have in your life is nothing short of magic. Do not take my word for it. That is what these 30 days are all about. Putting this to the test.

Today’s question is what color are we grateful for. Color plays such an important role in our life. We naturally gravitate towards some colors and there are others that do not enthuse us at all. Personally, I am not a fan of beige, taupe or anything in that color scheme. It tends to bore me and have me feeling bland and unexcited. There are other people who love it. The only time this becomes much of a problem is when those two people live under the same roof!

As far as what colors I am grateful for, I would pick a combo that is my favorite. I love turquoise and yellow together. It makes me think of all things tropical. Those two colors can have me thinking of vacation even in the dead of winter. Lucky for me, my lovely lady does not object to these colors, or that combination. We had a great experience in the Bahamas. Their flag incorporates these colors. Upon reflection, it occurred to me that these were also the colors of my elementary school. Not sure if that has some sort of subconscious influence on the matter.

How about you? Are there colors that make you happy when you see them? Are there colors you tend to avoid? Are they different for clothes verses cars? Have your choices changed throughout the years? I can’t wait to hear what everyone has to say!

YOUR PEACE IS MORE IMPORTANT

Today we start a new week and a new month. I encourage you to start a new mindset and a new behavior as well. This one is simple, but not always that easy. Have you ever found yourself watching or listening to the news and getting fired up? Have you ever had your day turned upside down by the actions of a careless individual? Have you ever had someone do their best to start a disagreement with you? If you answered no to all of these questions, you must be living on an uninhabited island somewhere. Most of us have had at least one of these happen to us. It not only destroys our day, it destroys our inner peace.

You may be asking yourself what the big deal about getting upset is. There are several things that getting upset and sacrificing your inner peace will do to you. First, there is the physical cost. Higher blood pressure. Increased stress. What is the big deal about that? Let us look at the research. According to research 75 to 90% of all human diseases and illnesses are related to the activation of the stress system. Ponder that for a moment. On average, 8 out of 10 of your illnesses are because of stress! How much loss of wages and life enjoyment does illness cause? What is the long term damage? Chronic Stress is a significant contributor to such things as cardiovascular issues, cancer and diabetes. The first two being the top two leading causes of death. They all share the same common denominator – stress. Next time you are tempted to get fired up about an issue, stop and consider what that stress will do to you. Take a deep breath and say confidently, “My peace is more important.” By doing so you will eliminate almost all of your illnesses.

The second one is a little more obvious. Living a life where you are always getting pissed off sucks. It is rather cliche, but every minute you spend angry is 60 seconds of happiness you lose. You are not only giving control of your emotional well-being to these outside circumstances, you are also sacrificing your happiness for it. If that was not bad enough, you are never sure of how much time you have left. Morbid thought? Maybe. True thought? Absolutely. None of us are going to get out of this life alive. Those who will win the game of life are those who enjoy it the most. You certainly can’t enjoy it if you are letting outside circumstances and individuals determine your emotional state. If you find yourself angry, sad or depressed due to outside circumstances, start saying this mantra. Even if you are rather good at regulating your own emotions, I would recommend adding this mantra to your lexicon.

Your time on this planet is a finite and depreciating asset. Why spend any more of it sick, whether that is physically, mentally or emotionally, than you have to. We have seen that stress causes up to 90% of your illnesses. We have seen that the top 2 causes of death are related to elevated stress levels. Not to mention enjoying whatever time we have left of this beautiful planet, be that little or much, makes a lot more sense that sacrificing it for a negative emotional state. Your inner peace is more important than that. It is time to remind both ourselves and others that is the case.

WHAT YOU CHOOSE TO BECOME

This is a simple, yet powerful quote. In all of our lives we have had situations that have knocked us down. It could be a divorce, a sudden job loss, a health crisis or abuse of any kind. Most of the time, none of these are our faults. It is, however, 100% of our responsibility what we do with the situation that we are placed in. Eric Thomas said it best when he said, “It may not be your fault that you have been knocked down, but if I come back in a year and you are still laying there that is on you.”

In no way is this an attempt to belittle what you have been through. You may have been a victim of fate, the economy or even another person. That can be cruel and unfair. Whether you stay a victim is up to you. This does not mean it is easy. It does not mean crawling out of that situation will not be painful. What it does mean is that you have decided not to let them hurt you anymore. Every day that you use your circumstances as an excuse instead of motivation, you are giving power to them and taking away power from yourself. Yes, your boss may have fired you unfairly. Yes, the economic crash may have been brought on by rich politicians who could care less about the working class. None of that is your fault.

It is time to look yourself in the mirror and ask yourself these two important words – Now What? Your name was slandered by a cyber bully. Now what? You could seek revenge, which is a terrible waste of energy and can even end up adding validation to their accusations. Better option would be to commit to living your life in such a fashion that anyone who would speak against you would be the one to look foolish. You had no choice in the actions of the bully, but the responsibility in your response is all on you. Many people have had terrible childhoods filled with abuse that we can’t even imagine. Still, the responsibility falls on them to either heal or not. I am blessed to have friends who have took the painful journey of confronting their abuse, healing and now help others. I have seen others fall into a world of addiction and have their life end far too soon.

Whether we like it or not, there is no connection between fault and responsibility. None of what happened to you may be your fault, but your life is still your responsibility. This may seem unfair, but it is also terribly liberating and empowering. That means our past, as painful as it might have been, does not have to limit our future. It only will if we decide to let it. If you need help in your journey, reach out to a friend or a professional. Do not let your past determine your future.

UNSUSPECTED CAUSE OF APATHY

My next book will address how to get out of the ‘wake up, pay bills, repeat, die’ cycle. How to get the passion back in your life. As such, I have been speaking to others a great deal on this very subject. Many different opinions as to the cause and the solution of this ailment have been put forth by people of all different cultures, creeds and races. The ironic part about all of this is that many of their answers share a common thread.

Why do we seemingly fall out of love with life? Why do we lose the zest and passion as we get older? More importantly, why do some seem to find it again while others never do? What can we do to get that excited to be alive feeling back into our own life? Asking many people this very question, the main point that came to light is that we do not spend much time pondering it. We often busy ourselves in routines that leave little or no time for contemplation or self-actualization. When was the last time you pondered this question yourself? When have you spent more than a few seconds wondering where all the joy and excitement in your life has disappeared to? What little spare time we have we seem to fill watching meaningless 60 second clips online.

The answer to this dilemma is a little counterintuitive. It can be found in the pictures above. Can you guess what it is? That answer goes by many names. Some call it comfort. Some call it security. It is sticking with the known routine instead of the fear of what could happen from pursuing a life that would be more fulfilling. How many people stay in relationships that are toxic just because they are afraid to be alone? How many people tolerate jobs they hate because they bring a steady paycheck? The answer is far too many. We trade the passion and excitement for perceived comfort and security. I say perceived because life, never mind jobs and relationships, are never a sure thing. Just because a company has been around forever does not mean it will be here tomorrow. In my lifetime, I have seen entire industries that have been here for decades or longer disappear seemingly overnight. I heard the actor Jim Carrey tell a story about his father deciding being an accountant was a safer bet than trying to be a comedian. Then he was fired from his accounting job. I am going to guess that job did not fulfill him either.

I am not advocating giving your boss the one finger salute and walking out the door because they do not give you a 6-month vacation twice a year. What I am telling you is that trading what sets your soul on fire for a preconceived notion of security amounts to spiritual suicide. If that spark in your heart seems faded or gone all together, the time to act is now! What do I mean by act? There are several actions you could take. Start a side hustle that feeds your soul. It could be creating content, bird watching or taking photos. Speaking of taking things, you need to take some risks as well. Nothing that will put you or those you love in danger, but try the things you are afraid of. They might not succeed at first, but you may very well discover the joy you have been missing.

Another thing you can do to recapture your zest for life is to do something that sucks. Again, it may sound counterintuitive but it breeds appreciation for the daily comforts you have taken for granted. There are things we avoid that could improve our lives because they are uncomfortable to do. Perhaps we are putting off writing that book that is inside of us because we just do not have the time. Make no mistake, you have the time. When you are in the middle of doing something that feeds your soul, even if it includes some discomfort, you find the time, the energy and the motivation.  

Pushing through discomfort can actually become addicting. Not the act of going through the discomfort itself, but the pride you feel at the end of it. That is the tricky part. We avoid discomfort, but by doing so we also avoid the variety and excitement it brings. The sense of adventure. The pride we feel at the end. The quote above has been attributed to many people and is very true. “Everybody wants to go to heaven; but nobody wants to die.” We want the accomplishments and the feelings that go with them, but we are afraid to give up the comfort we currently have to get them. Instead, we settle for some sort of purgatory where we have a false feeling of security, but we are not truly happy. That is why often those who lose their jobs, relationships or other important things in life and are forced to start over often wind up being happier than they were before. They are forced to deal with that discomfort and have the freedom to pursue what speaks to their soul.

Are you a slave to the comfort in your life? What would happen if the perceived security you thought you had crumbled? What have you been sacrificing in your life for comfort? Is there something in your life that must die for you to get to your heaven? Is that thing the comfort and security you are clinging too? Try stepping outside your comfort zone and see what happens.

IT CAN BE GOOD TO HAVE YOUR FLIGHT GROUNDED.

That is a picture of me. It is probably what I looked like when I was informed that the vacation I had planned for my lovely lady’s birthday would be canceled. Six months I had managed to keep it a secret. There were days of work I scheduled off. We were mere weeks from takeoff and our Jamaican vacation was canceled. It was a tragic once in a lifetime hurricane that devastated the island. Regretfully, our hotel was unable to open at the time they had anticipated. Obviously, our dismay was nothing compared to what the people were dealing with, and are still dealing with, on the island. Still, we were quite dismayed not to be able to escape the brutal Wisconsin winter, if only for a few days.

Looking at the temperature in my hometown above (in Fahrenheit) one can see it would be wonderful to get away. One of those situations where you might ask, “Where is the upside in all of this?” First of all, the reason our trip was canceled is a great reminder of what we have to be thankful for. Yes, it is beyond cold and snowy here, but we have power and our houses have not been blown away from a 200 mph hurricane. The fact the hotel could not open reminds us of how months later the island continues to struggle. On top of that, on the day we were supposed to be leaving Margie came down with an illness. She had it for quite some time. It would have been the whole time we were scheduled to be on vacation. Just a few days ago, I also came down with something. If there is anything worse than your vacation being canceled, it is going and being sick the entire time. The trip being called off saved us from that happening.

It can be hard to see that what appears to be something negative in life is actually setting you up for something better. Have you ever had a major setback while pursuing a goal? My guess is that if you are reading a website like this, you have. It gives you a chance to refocus and gain additional skills that will make the goal even more rewarding when you do reach there. The additional time you have to wait will make achieving the goal that much sweeter. Sure, nobody likes to think this way when it is happening to them, but that does not change it from being true. If you do manage to change your mindset from “Why me?” to one of, “What positive thing can I gain from this setback?” Life is not only a lot less stressful, but becomes something to always look forward to.

As a side note, the delay in taking a trip with my love has allowed us to save more and hopefully spend a few more days on our getaway. Something we could not have done without the delay. It also allows me a little more time to work on my beach body which has been missing in action for quite some time. There are always silver linings to the dark clouds of life. We may just have to look a little harder for them.

DON’T BE LOST IN THE CROWD

Above is a rather sobering photo from our local museum, which is set to relocate later this year. If you look really close, you can also see my mother sticking her face into the group of other souls posing for the picture. One day both her and I will look like them.

Look closely at the photo. Study each of the skulls there. Now answer a few of these questions. Which one of those people were the richest? Which one was even the tallest or best looking? You might think these are stupid questions. How can you tell anything about a person after they pass away? We all look the same. That is the point I am making here. At a certain point, we all look the same. We all end up a pile of bones. In life, many of us spend an insane amount of time, energy and resources on looking the best, or standing out. In today’s world, everyone wants to be famous. That is all well and good, but ask yourself what you are looking to be remembered for. Is it looking like the next hot model or dashing gentleman? How long does that last? Maybe one of the skulls above belonged to a supermodel?

A better word to consider is legacy. If you want to be immortal think about what you will leave behind, not what you can take with you. Will you be remembered as someone who added something to the world when they were here? If you work it right, your legacy will outlive you. It is one of the main reasons I write this blog and my books and videos. I hope to reach, inspire and empower people long after I am gone. How about you? Again I am reminded of that quote from Denzel Washington, “I never saw a U-Haul behind a hearse.”  You can’t take it with you no matter how hard you try. Therefore, your wealth for eternity will be more determined by what you give and not what you get. Consider this when you are looking to stand out from the crowd.