Tag: Neil Panoisan

LEARN TO FAIL PROPERLY

How many times do you have to try something before learning it? Two times? Three times? Thomas Edison failed more than 1000 times before inventing the electric light bulb. Can you imagine sticking with something that long? I am not sure that I would. The point of all of this is that the amount of times that you do not succeed at something in life will always outnumber the times that you do succeed. In other words, you will fail a lot more than you succeed. Knowing this, you would think that failure would be a well-studied subject. On the contrary. Most people do not like to think about failure, much less study it.

If failure is something we are going to experience often in our life, should we not spend some time learning how to do it properly? Many of you might be asking how can you ‘fail properly’? Don’t you just fail or succeed? The average person does, yes. If we are looking to create an amazing life, it involves learning to put everything that occurs in our life to work for us. This includes failure. How can we do that? The first step is changing our mindset around failure. We must see it for what it is – a learning experience. Your muscles do not grow in the gym without encountering resistance. The same is true for you as a person. You only grow when you encounter resistance. In fact, the bigger the resistance, the bigger you must grow to overcome it. Just as the heavier weight in the gym requires more muscle growth. The photo above may seem cliche, but it is 100% true. Failure is a ‘first attempt at learning’. You do not learn much if you succeed at things the first time. It also would lead to a boring life eventually.

The second step to making failure work for us is learning to mine it. Yes, it is time to imagine ourselves as miners and see what we can get out of failure. The obvious may be the lessons and knowledge. If you have ever tried to put out a grease fire with water, you will soon learn, in spectacular fashion, that is the exact opposite thing you should do. It is a failure in the moment, but you will never put water on a grease fire again. You gained that knowledge. How about trusting someone with a secret only to discover they told everyone they know? Failed in that judge of character, but learned they cannot be trusted with confidential information. In addition, if there is something you want to get out, perhaps this was the person to tell. In each case you walked away with more knowledge than you went in with.

Another thing we gain from failure is resilience. If we always succeeded, how tough would we be when faced with a challenge? Not very. Failure teaches us perseverance, patience, and mental and emotional fortitude. These are lessons that you cannot learn with success. Therefore, failure is actually something we can be grateful for. It gives us a kind of strength that success never could. You owe it to yourself to learn how to fail properly. We are all going to do it in life. We should learn to do it in a way that will give us an amazing life!

STOP AND THINK

Here is a post that should not have to be written, but must be read. There are so many out there jumping to conclusions and often doing so without compassion or understanding. Think of the picture above. We may see a man who appears to be emotional, sad or moved to tears. Many would think he was ‘not manly’ or worse make fun of him. They would not ask why he is in such an emotional state or even ponder to consider what may make him so vulnerable in public.

Parents, you may think it is no big deal that your child is a bully. Not only can that lead to some deplorable adults, but think of the photo above. The child being attacked and bullied at school could be the very one being abused at home. When will this become too much for the child to take? None of us know. What would be tragic is if actions taken by another child would push them over the edge and lead to that child taking their own lives. Not only would that result in the loss of one life, but the guilt the other child would be forced to live with would be a second tragedy. Teach your children to live and treat others with kindness and compassion.

Here is another one that can break your heart. Many of the elderly are ignored or looked down upon for one reason or another. They should be treasured. It is them who have paved the way for all of us. Think of the example sighted above. People may look at an old man who has scars on him, or other physical, or even mental, ailments. How many of us stop and think that he could have received them fighting for our country? He could have been burned trying to save a family from a fire. We never know the story behind the people we see. None of us would like to be judged without understanding or compassion. We should afford the same rights to others.

Going forward, let us all make a conscious effort to understand others. Let us treat them with the love and compassion we so strongly crave in our own lives. We impact the lives of all of those we come in contact with to one degree or another. Let us do our best to make sure it is in a positive way.

A GREAT DAY FOR THIS!

There are a lot of crazy and negative things going on in the world today. It can be a lot just to make it through the day. One can begin to wonder what we can do to rally against all of this negativity. The answer is a little counter intuitive. It can be found in the picture above. Have a great day. You may find yourself thinking, “How can I have a great day when the day around me is far from great?” That is exactly when we need to have great days the most. It can be hard to not let outside circumstances dictate our inner condition. Not only is it possible, but it is really how we were meant to live. We cannot let the negativity win. How can we accomplish that? It involves a change of mindset.

A personal example for me is as follows. I am currently dealing with a fractured, and who knows what else, foot. It is preventing me from working out as I would like to do. Not to mention it hurts fairly bad. It is well below freezing where I live and has been for weeks. I am a fan of the sun and beach. The vacation I had planned next Wednesday to get away was recently canceled due to the hotel being hit by a hurricane. As you can see, I have plenty of reasons I could feel down. Do you know what else is equally true? I was able to go to the gym this morning and workout in different ways. I went out to lunch with Margie and my mother. We had one of our favorite servers, Estela. Then I went to write these blogs and look what they wrote on my cup! Both of these lists of items are true and factual. Focusing on one would have me frustrated and depressed. Focusing on the other will have me feeling grateful and happy. That is why it is a great day to have a great day.

The news can have you believe the sky is falling. In many ways there are lots of crazy things happening. This is not about denying any of that. What it is about is reminding ourselves how many good things are still out there. If we choose, we can make a great day out of anything. Why not make today a great day?

NOT AN EXPENSE, AN INVESTMENT.

With seemingly everything becoming more expensive these days, everyone is looking for ways to save a little here and there. Sadly, one of the areas people cut off first is investing in their lives. One great way to improve your life is to change this mindset. View everything as weather it is an expense or an investment. A gym membership can be a great investment. If you go consistently, it will save you on sick time, medicine and stress. It will also add energy and the ability to do more. If, however, you are not going to use it, than it will be nothing more than an expense.

While making these discernments, be careful not to justify expenses as investments. What I mean is that if you are going to buy a new cell phone, even though your current one is working just fine, you could say that it will allow you to work more efficiently from more locations. While that could be true, if you are only could to use it to watch random reels on social media, be honest with yourself. In that case it is an expense. If you buy a great book on how to make better use of your time, but only use it as a paper weight, than it goes from investment to an expense.

As we are all looking to spend wiser and save more, make sure you are doing so wisely. Make sure to continue to invest in yourself. Remember the better you take care of yourself, the more you will be able to do for your friends and family. The best investment you can make is the one you make in yourself.

WHAT YOU LOOK LIKE

With New Year’s resolutions starting to fall off, this post comes at just the right time. No matter how lofty our goals, we will not look like anything like them if our habits and effort do not match them. Think of the person who has the goal of getting in shape every New Year. If they do not match that with consistent effort and hard work, they will pretty much look the same as last year. If your goal is to be in a better place financially, but you have a habit of buying every new phone as soon as it hits the market, you will look more like the person chasing instant gratification than someone concerned about their fiscal well-being.

That is why in my upcoming fourth book we focus on setting up rituals to form a daily structure. This will go a lot further to success than even setting goals. I recommend you do both, but setting up a daily habit you engage in will be key. Even starting with something small will gain you momentum. Once it becomes a mindless part of your daily routine, you will be well on your way to success. At first, understand new habits will be difficult. The brain does not like to change its way of operating. Stick with it as Earl Nightingale used to say. Once your mind adapts to this new habit, you will be on your way to success.

There are ways to help put this on autopilot. Let us say your goal is to start the day with a better attitude and outlook. Placing inspirational quotes on the bathroom mirror, or empowering affirmations to repeat to yourself, would be a good idea. I have a daily inspirational calendar by my coffee maker. I love starting the day with both. It takes me a while to remember to read each page. Especially at 4am when I wake up. Once in the habit though, it is something I now look forward to! How about you? Can you think of some simple habit you can do daily to gain momentum and set yourself up for success?

IF YOU WANT IT, GIVE IT AWAY

This may seem counterintuitive, but it really makes sense if you stop and think about it. Take them one at a time. Love is a great example. Love is not always of the romantic type. Although it works the same for both. Love is compassion, understanding and respect. At least it should be. When you love someone, that is show them compassion, understanding and respect, the more likely they are to do it to you. The more that you ‘give it away’ to others, the more people are likely to give it back to you. Will there be some exceptions? Of course. If you wish to have a life filled with more love and understanding, the best way to accomplish this is by giving it away.

Abundance is a little harder to wrap your head around. First thing to note is that abundance is not always money. If you have an abundance of anything, the best thing you can do is share it with those less fortunate. This can be your time, a shoulder to cry on or an ear to sit and listen. The more you do these for others, the more they are likely to reciprocate. Even when it comes to money this is so. Think of someone who picks up the tab when you go out to eat. Would you not want to do the same for them the next time?

The point is that in life if you do something for others, they are more likely to do it for you. Therefore, if you want more of something in your life, it only makes sense to put as much of it as you can into the world. The more you do it, and the more people you do it to, the more it will come back to you. Do not take my word for it. This coming week try putting as much genuine kindness out into the world. If you are already kind, double your efforts. Do this for a week straight and see what happens the following week.

HOW TO BE GRATEFUL FOR EVERYONE

On the journey to self-improvement there are many tricky obstacles. One of the toughest is that we share the planet with people who have no intent, or desire to improve themselves. There are those who feel the need to treat others poorly. I have seem a man berate a coffee shop employee because he coffee was 5 degrees too hot. Not only was it almost impossible to tell that exactly, he could have waited a few seconds and it would have cooled down. That is enough to make someone watching that behavior upset. A more constructive approach is to let it remind us of how important our kindness and compassion to retail employees is and how much it is appreciated.

There are those who have no regard or care for their health. This is especially hard to watch if it is someone we care about. If these people persist in neglecting their health and lifestyle, it will remind us how impactful those two things have in our own life.

To me, one of the most frustrating is watching those individuals who make it their life mission to live in a world of self-created drama and terrible decisions. Lack of accountability and any actions towards improving their life can drive you crazy to watch, and certainly to listen to. What every episode can remind us of is how important working on ourselves and our life is.

All of these people can be a challenge, but they can also be a great reminder. We should be grateful when the universe shows us how important kindness, compassion and self-improvement are. These fine folks can be just what we need in our life to motivate us to take the next leap in our own development. Be grateful for the lesson they bring.

THE COST OF YOUR DISTRACTIONS

Have you ever thought of the cost of your distractions? What has that harmless scrolling really cost you? What started as a quick ‘5 minute scroll’ ended up having you hooked for hours. How about binging television shows? You think you will watch just one episode and suddenly your day is over. I hear lots of people justifying this behavior as “I just need to relax.” or “Well I have earned it.” Do not get me wrong, I am not one of those hustle until you die kind of people. Still, we must asking what we could have been doing during that time we were giving to our distractions.

Is it more fun to watch Netflix than clean the house? Undoubtedly. When you put off obligations for pleasures, you still have the stress of undone obligations. It is not just household chores that miss getting done. You could be taking actions that would increase the quality of your health, or your career, or your relationship? That one hour you spent watching videos of cats that look like pop tarts could have been invested in turning your hobby into a business that could add a stream of income. Thinking of ideas to increase the love of you and your partner could have a much greater impact on your life than finding out what the Kardashians are doing.

Do not think wasting one hour a day is such a big deal? If you only waste one hour a day, only on the weekdays, that comes out to 260 hours a week. That is a full 6 and a half 40 hour working weeks you could have invested in bettering your life. Instead of focusing on the pleasure of these mindless distractions, ask yourself what they are costing you. Think of the productive things you could have done with that time.

YOUR WORLD CAN BE BETTER!

In today’s crazy world we are always searching for ways in which we can make our life better. This quote contributed to Confucius is one way. As humans, we are rather predisposed to focus on what needs to be ‘fixed’ in both our lives and the world at large. These days that list has grown rather long. Focusing on these things, especially those we have no control over, can leave us feeling overwhelmed at best and downright depressed at worst.

It is important to look at what needs to be fixed. Especially in our own lives. To be constantly fixated on these events will drain our energy and deplete us emotionally. We need to be motivated and healed by noticing all of the good that surrounds us every day. When we focus on what is good, we notice more of what is good. We begin to see that there is reason to have faith in both the world and the human race. This is important to make sure that we do not let the negative element to win control of our mind and the world at large.

Yes, notice what has to be fixed. Then be thankful and recognize that you do not have to fix everything. Stop to reflect on the beauty and kindness that still exists in this world. Do yourself a favor and remember to keep your mind on the good, even while trying to address the things that are troubling you.

FALL IN LOVE WITH LIFE BY LAURA

This post could have easily been credited to my mother, or of course Lao Tzu as they both advocate this message. It was my coworker and friend Laura who gave me the answer most recently. When I asked her what she thinks is the key to falling in love with life, her eyes lit up as she recalled a conversation she had with her son recently. As her son watched her become upset and anxious, he informed her that she needed to stop worrying so greatly about the future and focus more on being present. How many of us could use that advice?

It is easy to tell someone not to worry about the future, but how can we do that? If we study the quote above, it makes things crystal clear. Focusing our energy in the past, which cannot be changed, is a waste of our precious energy. Worry about the future, which has not happened and may never happen, is a good deal of wasted energy as well. The more we are worried about the future, the more that should drive us to be present. Why? The only thing we have that can affect the future is the actions we take in the present. If those actions amount to nothing other than sitting on our hands and worrying, we will not have much of an impact at all.

Lowering stress and increasing drive are two great reasons to be present. They are also two ways to love life more. The picture above highlights what I think is the greatest reason to focus on the present. If you are too worried about the past of the future, you often miss both the beauty and the opportunity in the present. Look at the dog fully immersed in what is happening. He is probably enjoying the woods, the man’s company and surely a squirrel or two. The man may not even realize he is in the woods or that the dog is next to him. The closer we come to a calm mind, the better we are positioned to take advantage of all life is offering us in the present. Whether that is a job opportunity or just a squirrel.

Laura, my mother and Lao Tzu are all right. Being present is one great way to fall back in love with your life. There are so many miracles that we miss every day. Simply being alive and able to breathe is a miracle in itself. By transferring our concerns about the future into motivation for the present and insuring we remain fully engaged in that present are two great ways to fall in love with life. How would you answer the question, “What would you tell someone to do if that wanted to fall in love with life?”